three major, lifechanging things happened in 2021

– Amber an I broke up on January 6 as the Capitol was being invaded. We’d been together for four years. It had its ups and downs. But I think we are both better now. So long live Amber and I am grateful for alllll of the good times we had.

– almost exactly 7 months later I finally launched Hear in LA, the podcast I pitched years ago and was rejected, then I pitched to a different shop and it was accepted but COVID struck and all hell broke loose.

so i decided to do it on my own. and when i did, the great Jordan Katz said lemme help you. and the rest has been a beautiful journey, 100x better than i expected. and i cannot wait to get back in that saddle after another week off.

– the third thing is very personal and probably shouldnt be discussed in this blog but lets say a beautiful woman, not long ago, taught me something, in bed, lets say, and it blew my mind and it’s odd that it came from her, and it’s odder that i thought i knew it all, but omg i dont know anything.

and for the next 50 years i will approach life like: i dont know shit, show me what you know.

the goal this week is to do nothing

to truly take a break, driver 8

but it’s tough

yesterday i walked out of two movies bc i was so antsy in my panties

the first was macbeth, and you know me, if you put a brother in a role typically held for white dudes, im in.

but i fell asleep 3x.

i have a rule, if i fall asleep more than 2x im out.

also denzel, too plump and too old to play the warrior king. wtf!

put michael b jordan in that shit.

let him kill ice cube.

its supposed to be the young buck who cant be stopped, listening to his nagging wife about how he should be the king

frances mcdermont is lady mac?


shes not a whiner or a nagger, great actress but what?

put nicki minaj in the role.

they do this thing in AMCs now where they dont tell you any more outside the theaters which movie is inside and when it started. they dont want ppl like me “sneaking” in to movies they didnt pay for.

so you have to do a lot of deducing using the AMC app.

West Side Story was only playing in one theater an it started 11 minutes before i got in there and i got through half of it, but ansel anderhoff is too pretty and you never see why he loves the latin girl

also she should have been played by ariana grande, like wtf.

spielberg painted a pretty picture and rita moreno was really good

but i needed to get the heck out of there

walked out in the cold and drizzle and saw theres a Guisados – I was in Burbank

got the sampler for $10 after tip


perfectly cast.

my man tim showed me some pics of mastodon

he lives in music mecca, austin and he said he got lucky and got tix to see them in 2007

and i wondered, did i see them back then? one of those raging metal bands had a secret show for the press only but i was one of the few journos who loved metal so i got to see

The Sword

in a tiny… it  wasnt even a club it was just a space

for 2022 i want to get better at photography.

i love it so.

im starting to realize i cant multitask

and i have a twitter problem.

i am addicted to this crazy ass podcast, which just wrapped its third season.

i am very proud and feel extremely lucky to have made it this far

and i can’t believe we did 31 episodes in 24 weeks.

two things suffered: my love life, and the world famous busblog.

not sorry, sorry.

i have had more than my fair share of love in my life

and i guess ive blogged way more than the average bear

but still, Libras are supposed to be about balance

and thats where i have failed.

new years revolution: blog once a day at 11pm or earlier no matter what

think i can do it?

i can if i cut down on twitter

this lack of blogging is a bit concerning

i’m fine, no really, very good.

the small business association wants to give me some money for free, which is weird and nice and i dont really understand it

but in a world where ppl take for no good reason. sometimes its nice when others wanna give for equally no good reason other than they dont want you to revert to a life of crime.

i was asked by a company to work for them. someone told me one of their biggest supporters told them to hire me.

because i have had some very bad luck this year of either not being paid (Boston dude) or having to ask over and over and over to get paid by other companies i said, heres what i want. i want a typical salary for the position you are offering but i want half up front and half at the fourth of july.

because im a weirdo i look at the year this way:

Super Bowl
Opening Day
Fourth of July

will i die lonely and penniless?


but my treasure, as is yours,

is in the kingdom of Heaven

do you know i love you? i do.

over the last few months ive been burning the candle at both ends.

working and working on two very different things, both hard, but rewarding.

yesterday on the subway i was told that i would have more time to work on the other thing

which is fine, but a lot of what i had been working on for them was figuring out how to figure it out.

we had an SEO guy at the Times come in for a while and he was fantastic and i think in the room of 50, i was one of the very few who totally understood what he was saying because i am a super nerd for that sort of thing.

so when i went to KPCC, he was the first guy i had them consult with.

it was there that i realized why everyone spaced out to him at the Times: no one wants to hear the magic doesnt work overnight.

the internet and search and social media, combined, is the most finicky, unpredictable wyld stallion who does not want to be figured out or gamed or mastered because once that happens

spamming will ruin it all.

even when you figure out something you’re probably better off not exploiting it in major ways because the other thing about the internet is theres scoreboards everywhere

you want a slow, steady, reasonable, understandable climb.

it took a good year at the Academy to get the ball rolling. and that was an extremely familiar and rightfully beloved brand. top of the heap. and still it was an aircraft carrier that resisted turning and speeding up.

time takes time, ringo.

if youre gonna play a pinball machine for a year, you should, for sure, tilt it in the first game to see where the sidelines are. but then people call you the tilter.

if i could go back in time, i would, so i could learn a few things

one: kpcc to find out what i coulda done there to make it work

because that scoreboard barely moved.

im dying to find out why.

hi blog that ive abandoned (not really)

i get conflicted bc being Gen X i’m not supposed to care, im supposed to be a slacker, and i cant remember the other thing bc i dont care

but i do care

however i have this crazy struggle between idealism and what i “SHOULD” be doing

idealism says do whatever you want

SHOULD says you should be doing xyz

so at night when i have gone the day without blogging, New Tony has been saying fuck that shit, watch netflix you pay for it

but Should Tony says, you were doing so well this year, you had a few months where you wrote every day.

but Some Things In This Blog Are True Tony says the reason you cant write is because you dont want to make public all the things you are Actually thinking about and tip toeing around some serious, life changing, emotional parts of your current life is fucking exhausting and ultimately boring, I thought you were the muthafuckin busblog

at its heart is this

life right now is crazy enough i dont wanna lie on this blog even though…

and crazy meaning good. i love my podcast. i was so nervous about making one but after years of seeing idiots do things poorly i figured fuckit, i couldnt be any worse than them.

turns out i am not any worse than they are

in fact i am pleasantly surprised at how well theyve turned out

due in no small part to mr jordan katz

who i could not have done this without and i am so lucky

and who is in store for an excellent hanukkah gift because seriously

there is a huge Evel Knievel Snake River gorge between thinkin up something

and getting it out into the world.

i had been thinking about Hear in LA for years.

Jordan made it happen.

[rock on in yiddish]


my problem is i want to be free


whatever blood is coursing through my veins from my ancestors

who for hundreds and hundreds of years in this country were slaves

has been yelling at me since i was a kid to be free

and for the last two months that has mean free from this blog too

20 years has been a lot

this year has been a lot

breaking up with amber was a lot

we were joined at the hip for years

and ive been not thriving for years neither, if we are to be honest with each other

ive done a lot of work but what came of it?

i still got one guy who thinks he doesnt ever need to pay me for making miracles for him

i will be paid

and i will thrive

those things will come, have no fear

but ive noticed one thing – when its about me, it gets very uncomfortable

the thing that i love right now, more than i ever expected, is this podcast

this week i did an interview that might end up being the best one

meanwhile tomorrow i need to edit a really long one i did a few weeks ago that jordan

for the first time ever

asked me for help on.

Tonight was unseasonably warm

80s in the day and mid 70s at night

so i walked around at night listening to it and it too is fantastic

and for once i said some things im proud of

i am exhausted, i need this thanksgiving break, im not sure if imma get it because i am working until the end of the year with a non profit that is world wide

so im not sure if they get the holidays off.

but even if they dont imma get a bunch of podcasting done because

its good for the people.

and im bringing it to them

and im excited because without me and jordan

these stories of good people

wouldnt be out in the world

and thats a whole lot better feeling than

whatever the opposite of free is,