in the bible theres a little aside about an old king

let me look it up, yes here it is first kings first chapter second line

Therefore his servants said to him, “Let a young woman, a virgin, be sought for our lord the king, and let her stand before the king, and let her care for him; and let her lie in your bosom, that our lord the king may be warm.”

and sometimes i’ll look at my odometer and then i’ll look at amber’s and i’ll think, did my servants give me this virgin so i could be warm?

then i remember im not king of shit

and amber is not the type to lay in anyone’s bosom for too long

let alone a blogger

but she does take care of me.

right now im eating some peas and carrots, potatoes, and crumbled beyond beef.

her goal is to feed me 5 different vegetables a day.

the beyond beef should count as one, maybe two.

for some reason she wants me alive for a few more years.

maybe because when my servants say

stand before the king

shes all, only if he takes a picture.