nothing in here is true

  1. Sunday, February 28, 2021

    this always happens 

    i have the best plans. i know it all in my head. sometimes i’ll write it down.

    sometimes i’ll even put it on my wall.

    simple things like: blog every day, dummy.

    then i wont. i’ll do ANYTHING else.

    who wouldnt wanna blog on the world famous? who wouldnt want to be able to say anything and theres a good chance that someone will read it?

    just the other day someone was all, omg are you the tony pierce of the busblog?

    that was like the third person this month who asked me that.

    blogging is dead. the blogosphere is def dead. how could they know this thing?

    and what do i do? i stop the momentum.

    last month i had 28 posts, this month wont even be 20.

    i cant blame amber, she’s not even here.

    i cant blame the demands of my job.

    i cant blame anyone but myself.

    is it true that there are things that i wanna say that i dont feel right saying because i dont wanna make it public? OF COURSE but that could be said to every day of the 20 years that ive had this thing.

    somehow the show goes on.

    i give springsteen a hard time for not being that wild and innocent rhymemaster that he was on his first album. i say Dylan, Tom Waits, even Tom Petty were able to crank em out later in their careers.

    but then i cant even navel gaze.

    DMed a pretty girl the other day and she DMed me back.

    maybe one day i’ll write about women in this thing.

  2. Saturday, February 27, 2021

    there was a car chase 

    usually im super down to live tweet car chases.

    but there was only one channel airing it and everyone was bad.

    the dude anchor is like the most stuck up cheerleader around. everything feels like an imposition to him. never excited about anything. no humanity. no life in his voice or face. total dead fish.

    then the lady anchor actually had tons of life. real cheerleader. but she had nothing to say.

    motion and no movement they used to call it when i was a pitching coach. a fastball that just goes from point a to b without and razzmatazz.

    the copter guy was ok. but as you can see from this screenshot, they had none of the bells and whistles on the overlay. important things like WTF is this, and how fast is everyone going.

    is this everyones first car chase?

    worst was they had a retired cop on the line who they could bounce questions off. which is sorta ok

    but only if you also had a retired thief on the line too. i mean come on. at this point we could all pretty much guess what the cop is gonna say, but do we know what the former crook will come up with?

    sometimes i feel like i need to just run everything.

  3. Friday, February 26, 2021

    the billie eilish documentary is fantastic 

    billie has never gone to school. her parents have homeschooled her. she and her brother write all of her songs. their parents still live with her in the house she grew up in.

    shes a rich person now. in the doc her dad buys her the car she wants for her 18th birthday. it’s a muscle car. it’s black. it’s beautiful.

    she struggles with her boyfriend, like most teens. he’s black, beautiful, but clearly not into her.

    she is trapped in her bubble, due to her overwhelming popularity. she also loves him. but he rarely hangs out with her. when he does she lights up. her big blue eyes shine.

    she gets him an incredible pass for Coachella. shes playing it. shes nervous about it, as anyone would be. will the fans like her? she doesnt look like any of the typical coachella chicks, because shes not typical. she could really benefit having him there.

    she calls, “where are you?” he always has bad excuses. he’s never there. it’s heartbreaking to watch. one of the most popular people in the world can’t get her man to come see her. it’s not like she’s hard to find, either shes at home or on stage.

    is it sad that the only Black person in the doc is trifling? yes. but who among us didn’t experience unrequited love as a teenager?

    regardless, this is a fantastic doc that gets right into their little Highland Park home and into our hearts.

    it was worth staying up all night to soak in.

  4. Wednesday, February 24, 2021

    drove four hours yesterday to give something to amber 

    i didn’t wanna do it because i still miss her very much and this break from each other has been bittersweet because on one hand it was overdue and has allowed us both to breathe

    but on the other hand it’s someone who i shared my life with for years and years and it’s hard to move on if you don’t keep moving on.

    also i have so much work im working on.

    but she needed me and me only to get these things to her and they couldnt be mailed or Ubered so i said fuckit and hit the road.

    i said, dont come out of the house, in fact if you can go in to town or not be there that would be great. but she doesn’t have a car and i dont think Uber is even in her neck of the woods, which gives you a taste for how remote she’s living right now. literally off the grid.

    which i must say, is admirable, as it’s something i dont think i could ever do.

    i am having a hard time putting myself in social media time outs right now. ironic because i am trying so hard to get better and better at social.

    meanwhile im listening to these interviews about eddie van halen and how he was always noodling on guitar. like always. like ALL THE TIME. and here i am cursing myself for not being able to put my phone down for a few hours, let alone a day.

    maybe we should embrace the things we are obsessed with?

    on the drive to her i was listening to the audiobook of the drummer of the Black Crowes. i will read – or listen to – any book about rock n roll if it’s told well and this guy is compelling because he’s not all that likeable and the band was known for not being likable either.

    weirdly i ended up Ubering the keyboard player for one the Chris Robinson Brotherhood and that guy was fantastic and gave me a good tip. he was impressed that i knew about that offshoot band and how it was inspired by both the Grateful Dead and JGB.

    what was interesting about this book was this drummer had very little experience, got caught up in this band, and pretty quickly they were a huge band.

    it’s also the only band i know of who signed a terrible record deal who then got out of it because of a paperwork snafu, thus getting their publishing and royalties in their hands while their first album was flying off the shelves. usually bands have to deliver a number of albums before the yoke is removed.

    when i got to her place i saw her there in the distance.

    she had on this dress she loved.

    she looked beautiful.

    i stopped the car like a bull would stop far from the matador.

    far enough that she could see i was there, and take the hint to go back in her new home.

    and then i drove a little closer, got out, put the stuff on the ground.

    and then i drove off.

    because it was emotional and weird i forgot the three gallons of water i had also brought up there for her.

    and her mail.

    if anyone ever says, is tony good at anything? the answer is, he’s good at a few things but he always seems to end up having to do the things hes not great at.

    on the way back i texted her to see if she got everything and she said yes.

    i was hoping she’d say holy fuck what you brought me was incredible

    but maybe it wasnt incredible to her.

    the good lord made us all different.

    so different, in many cases.

    which is a miracle in itself that we get along as well as we do.

    on the way home i got a Beyond Meat burger from Carls Jr because that is the meal i would get when i would visit her back in the day.

    i dont ever think i will ever not think of her when i get that burger.

    fuckers put pickles on it even though i asked for no pickles extra catchup.

  5. Monday, February 22, 2021

    even one minute of church via youtube might be all u need 

    once i was in college i stopped going to church

    partially because once i started reading the bible in Isla Vista i learned that a lot of what i was taught in the Catholic Church wasn’t in the Good Book, which ends with it saying, “anyone who adds to this text will get the curses written herein” or something.

    but the Catholics just wrote new crud anyways like nbd.

    a few years ago a guy i hired way back in the day told me about a church in Koreatown that plays really good music. he invited me to come and who doesnt love good music? so i went and it is now my church.

    but because of the Plague ive had to watch via YouTube and it’s super good. maybe better than IRL?

    YESTERDAY the gospel was from the Sermon on the Mount, which we’ve all read a million times but it wasn’t about how the Meek shall inherit the Earth which i wrote about just the other day, it was about The Children of God.

    Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called children of God.

    so here’s the crazy thing about the Bible. they say you should read it over and over because little things that don’t mean squat to you when you’re twentysomething in Isla Vista during the Grunge Era will totally ring true to you once you are old fat bald living in Hollywood.

    as i have revealed to you, sometimes i go on Twitter and pick fights.

    im currently undefeated and find it rude to refuse to engage if i am called out.

    we didnt do that in the streets, why avoid it in the tweets?

    but… i want to be a child of God.

    that sounds a ton better than inheriting a ruined, desolate, scorched Earth.

    and all i have to do is be a peacemaker? done. DONE!

    but that means not having twitter wars, flame wars, or wars of any kind.

    that means not even having wars in my heart.

    when i realized this, and trust me, it hit me hard, i immediately went to Facebook where i had left some verbal landmines on a rival Howard Stern group that has been overtaken by Trump supporters, and i deleted them.

    because modern warfare, in my life, is not actual guns and actual weapons, it is the battles that i have about this or that where we are verbally sparring. sure my goal is to change people’s minds, but really it’s just crude ways of me saying “you’re dumb, im smart, and here’s several reasons why you should be ashamed of yourself.”

    that is not being a peacemaker.

    which means i will not be considered a child of God when my number comes up.

    Black Sabbath will sound and i will be introduced as a War Pig, probs.

    fuck that.

    the good Lord has bestowed me with a nimble mind, a sharp tongue and a semi charmed life. why am i fighting on the stupid internet, probably with bots?

    to hone my skillz? those skillz BEEN honed.

    the skills Jesus is daring us to hone are not to dunk on each other, but to be the alley for some stranger’s oop.

    you cant fuck around and score a triple double simply by hanging from the rim, shaq.

    in conclusion: challenge accepted.


  6. Sunday, February 21, 2021

    hung out with friends because they already had COVID and beat it 

    i wanted to hug them hello but they said, you better not

    which is weird, shouldn’t we know by now if it’s ok?

    and haven’t we been told that if you get it, that’s it, you can’t spread it any more?

    it was nice though. friends. talking about new things, olden times. everything.

    we drank water and ate guacamole.

    chatted about sex drugs and rock music.

    psychology, psychiatry, and the pros and cons of letting your cat be outdoor cats.

    they live closer to coyotes than i do but they didnt seem all that scared for their feline

    they were more worried that because i have so many more cars around me

    and people

    that my now 6(!) year old cats probably might not be able to make the adjustment to knowing that a car will run them over if they dont move, b, get out the way.

    it all came about because i was explaining how uptight i get when i post pics of them and ppl call them fat.

    all house cats are fat, one of my friends said

    which makes sense, if you dont get any steps in of course youre not going to burn off your kibble.

    finally they just told me something i have always known and usually live by

    but for some reason when it comes to Prince & Michael i have a hard time with:

    fuck what other ppl say

  7. Saturday, February 20, 2021

    i get so stuck sometimes 

    at first i thought it was distractions

    and maybe it is

    but it’s not the ones i thought

    what if my biggest distractions are facebook and twitter and instagram and reddit and snapchat?

    i always tell people that it if wasnt my job i would just huck my phone

    or have phone office hours and then turn it off the rest of the day

    but i read those things constantly because they are a constant source of joy and information

    beauty and inspiration

    ways to be wicked

    and 65 new ways to be a damn good person.

    even if the articles are bunk im looking at the design, the SEO, the graphics, the sound

    when bono sang IM WIDE AWAKE i didnt understand at the time because it was the ’80s

    but im so awake its scary.

    how am i supposed to focus?

    and you know maybe thats the podcast right there: an hour unedited

    hit record, upload, move on to the next one.

    i have zero interest or time to fix shit in post.

    do you have any idea how many ideas i need to get out there?

    and they keep coming.

    i remember when robyn bell asked me if i would be interested in leaving the letters and science dept at UCSB and come over to the college of creative studies

    and i asked, creativity, eh?

    then i asked, do you think our creativity drains up after a while?

    and she said, nope.

    and she did not lie.

  8. Friday, February 19, 2021

    am i a born again Christian 


    while at the house with the spectacular view i was asked if i am a born again Christian

    and i hesitated because im not sure

    for me to be born again means that as an adult you choose the religion

    and it helps if something magical brought you to the conclusion.

    thats me.

    but we all know the world rarely fits into the tony pierce definition for things

    the world probably says you have to be baptised again and several other requirements.

    but being born again isnt something thats in the bible so to me it’s all made up and therefore insignificant but i dont want to avoid answering questions simply because it’s complicated.

    but the mere fact i was considering saying yes seemed to surprise the gentleman asking

    i guess because i dont come across as a born again Christian

    which, i hate to say,

    is probably a compliment.

    which is sad because i bet you there are tons of believers who, like me, aren’t stereotypical in the negative way.

    and arent trying to convert or debate or judge.

    if anything i think i am religious because religion was never forced on me.

    one day in college i decided to take a class called the Bible as Literature

    and the more i read the stories the more i was shocked at how different they were from what i thought they were. how much wasnt in there. and how short they were.

    so i ended up reading the whole thing to see what else i thought i knew that i didnt know.

    the best part of the story is this: i ended up taking two classes about the Bible,
    became super into it
    and i still got bad grades in both classes.

    neither teacher appreciated my interpretations.

    i remember one guy

    we were studying the new testament. Jesus giving the Sermon on the Mount.

    He says that the meek shall inherit the Earth.

    so my paper was something like “I Still Think The Meek Are Screwed”

    and in it i gave example after example of how Christians and Jews are instructed to aim higher than just the mundane things: money, property, idols, the flesh. Story after story about guys who want material things — or gets them — and they’re still unhappy.

    everyone is being told, turn away from the things of the world, you treasure will be in Heaven.

    then here at the mount we are told the Meek will get the Earth in the future.

    i was like, in Revelations they said the earth is going to be uninhabitable, locust everywhere, worse than Sodom and Gomorrah. so who wants to inherit that?

    i wrote, unless the Earth means The Heavens, why should anyone want to inherit something theyve been told is a red herring?

    well this teacher flipped out.

    my paper was jackson pollock of red ink.

    fortunately it was pass fail so since i did the paper on time he couldnt truly punish me for actually reading the book and writing down what i thought.

  9. Thursday, February 18, 2021

    today i drove around like santa claus 

    i didnt expect to actually talk to anyone but i was invited into the most beautiful home

    with the greatest view.

    every night the Dodgers light off fireworks they get to take it in from their deck.

    can you imagine?

    i have known the greatest people.

    maybe thats what this podcast should be.

    maybe shane is right: who needs a gimmick when you have the busblog?

    all i have to do is talk to the people i already know

    and their friends and family

    and thats the show.

    it could at least be the first 5 seasons.

    22 episodes a season, so 110 people?

    do i know 110 interesting people?

    of course.

    was very disappointed when i left their home and drove through the jack in the box

    theyve already discontinued their McClucker sandwich or whatever they call it.

    it was incredible: fried boneless chicken breast, guac, bacon, mayo, tomato.

    theyd even kiss you on the forehead if you got the combo with curly fries

    when i didnt see it on the screen i asked is this a mistake

    the voice on the box said

    you’re in the best part of LA for tacos and youre in jack in the box so dont ask me about mistakes

  10. Wednesday, February 17, 2021


    it seems like life is a struggle between not giving a shit

    and very much giving an incredibly important shit.

    and as with most things, the Good Book has advice.


    consider the lilies and the birds and all the things without iphones it sorta says

    and 401ks and Hinge accounts

    God takes care of all of those creatures

    so of course He’s gonna take care of us too.

    in fact nowadays the lilies’ biggest threat

    is man, ironically.

    God’s favorite.

    it’s funny that the older ive gotten

    the less i worry about what people think

    and the more i worry about what God thinks

    and even though i have no children

    i worry about the planet that i will leave behind for them.

    am i fucking it up by driving cars?

    do you know how much i love driving?

    for five years i would intentionally head into Los Angeles traffic

    to pick up stressed out, high powered, sometimes stuck up

    movers and shakers of Century City and Beverly Hills

    and race them to LAX.

    do you know how much i loved doing that?

    learning who these people were after 10 minutes?

    hearing about every person’s life, family, travel plans, life plans

    and sometimes,

    the most intimate fears and sadnesses.

    i had to stop driving after 3am on weekends

    even though the rates were high and the traffic was nil

    though more dangerous

    because the vibe in the car got dark after 3am.

    either it was people who got what they wanted

    and were super disappointed.

    or did not get what they wanted and were super bummed out.

    one guy cried and cried in the back of my car

    an actor.

    a sweet, young, gay actor from somewheres else who got rejected

    and had had a bad day anyway

    and was now going home alone a loser.

    and i said

    i couldnt be more the opposite of you

    or your running mascara

    but we do share a real love of the arts.

    so let me leave you with this

    the next time you are playing a role where you have to be

    really fucking sad

    remember this night.