my name is tony and sometimes i pick fights on twitter

i feel like i need to

i feel like if youre gonna say the dumbest thing

in public

and no one else says wtf

then i have to say it

otherwise theyre going to think they can keep on going with that horse caca

(not pictured)

had two excellent conversations today while getting in my steps.

the first was with a major in the armed forces

we’d probably be best friends if he didnt live in an igloo

he threeway called us with a famous fotographer – neither of us have talked in forever

we talked about one of our friends who had lost his job and his manager broke up with him

we discussed very complex and sensitive items

laughing and speaking over each other like no time had passed since we last partied

they were drinking, i was walking at a brisk pace bc i was cold

the second phone conversation was held at my home

a beautiful woman who in the middle of the conversation said

im no longer beautiful.

i said prove it.

later a noise startled my cats and they tore ass under my bed.

nothing bad has happened to these animals

ever in their lives.

the most trauma theyve ever experienced was

when i trim their nails a few times a year

on my bed!

and yet.

the day began at 230pm when i had a 90 minute call with a gentleman in columbia

couldnt have been nicer.

because my sleep is so backwards i had to set my alarm

so i would not miss the 230pm call.

much of texas right now has no power.

people are freezing cold.

the governor is blaming green energy.

i say prove it.