1. Wednesday, February 17, 2021

    42 

    it seems like life is a struggle between not giving a shit

    and very much giving an incredibly important shit.

    and as with most things, the Good Book has advice.

    chill.

    consider the lilies and the birds and all the things without iphones it sorta says

    and 401ks and Hinge accounts

    God takes care of all of those creatures

    so of course He’s gonna take care of us too.

    in fact nowadays the lilies’ biggest threat

    is man, ironically.

    God’s favorite.

    it’s funny that the older ive gotten

    the less i worry about what people think

    and the more i worry about what God thinks

    and even though i have no children

    i worry about the planet that i will leave behind for them.

    am i fucking it up by driving cars?

    do you know how much i love driving?

    for five years i would intentionally head into Los Angeles traffic

    to pick up stressed out, high powered, sometimes stuck up

    movers and shakers of Century City and Beverly Hills

    and race them to LAX.

    do you know how much i loved doing that?

    learning who these people were after 10 minutes?

    hearing about every person’s life, family, travel plans, life plans

    and sometimes,

    the most intimate fears and sadnesses.

    i had to stop driving after 3am on weekends

    even though the rates were high and the traffic was nil

    though more dangerous

    because the vibe in the car got dark after 3am.

    either it was people who got what they wanted

    and were super disappointed.

    or did not get what they wanted and were super bummed out.

    one guy cried and cried in the back of my car

    an actor.

    a sweet, young, gay actor from somewheres else who got rejected

    and had had a bad day anyway

    and was now going home alone a loser.

    and i said

    i couldnt be more the opposite of you

    or your running mascara

    but we do share a real love of the arts.

    so let me leave you with this

    the next time you are playing a role where you have to be

    really fucking sad

    remember this night.