moxie is worried. she is a long time friend of the blog and she has been reading and called me tonight to ask me if im ok.
i was all yeah, why?
she said bc you wrote something sad about amber and work and lack of work and lack of amber…
so heres the crazy thing about this blog. i will write it late at night and then fall asleep. in the morning i have no idea what i wrote.
do i miss amber? of course. i miss all my ex gfs. i wish they would all write me and send me pictures and tell me that they love me. but they are too smart for that. and thats not how life works.
amber was special. we lived together for the whole trump administration. when the capitol attack happened we went our separate ways. it was just a coincidence that that was the day but that was the day.
i miss having someone around who knows a lot about me. i miss all the little touches that she added to my place. i miss having someone to go on road trips with who would read me stories off the internet. i miss all those things and i miss her pure heart.
but sometimes the movie is over. sometimes the book ends. also: i turned into someone who i did not like. i was bossy to her. i was critical AF. i micromanaged. i doubted.
i did all the things you should not do to an air sign, namely, i kept her in her little cage due in part to COVID. air signs need to be free and i was afraid that if she went out into the world she would come back with the Rona and we would both die and the cats would die because they wouldn’t have anyone to feed them. so much death.
tomorrow im getting my shot. i texted amber to help her get her shot. then when moxie called i helped her schedule her appointment. everyone should be safe and happy soon.
in conclusion: im not a good person deep down. im probably going to Hell. but tomorrow at this point i will be protected, mostly, from COVID-19. praise Jah.