and took some long walks.
and did a lot of work.
and found some money. lets talk about that.
last month i hit rock bottom because i wasnt getting any unemployment, all of my little jobs had dried up, all the places i was TOTALLY FUCKING QUALIFIED FOR LIKE OMG told me to fuck off and die, and i hadn’t even gotten my stimulus check #2 which was supposed to come in January.
the walls had closed in, i sent an SOS to the world and the world said here you go
and for that i will be forever grateful.
for a year for some reason the apartment above me has been vacant. it needs a lot of renovations and maybe the owner of this joint didnt have the cash, but youd have thought PPP loans or what have you, or the fact that all of us pay on time, and that they have lots of buildings would mean they’d have had the cash to fix it up and start renting it again But Nope.
and it’s fine. who needs someone clomping around upstairs on hardwood being loud when im down here crying in my mexicokes?
earlier this week i was awakened with loud terrible noises. the workers had returned and were pulling up everything, bashing in things. the cats scurried under the couch and my beauty sleep was interrupted for a good half hour until i said dude i lived in Isla Vista for four years, ya gonna have to do better than that.
when i woke up again i went out to get the paper and noticed that they had gathered a years worth of the junk mail that had accumulated on her side of the mail slot… and placed it in my ficus plant so they could have room to demolish shit.
my little eye spied my name. or something like it.
it said Anthony III
and it had the wrong address on it.
then I saw another letter like that too.
junk mail over the years has gotten better and better at tricking you into opening it. sometimes it will look like a check. sometimes it will feel like a credit card
but when i opened this up IT WAS A DEBIT CARD
in fact it was the Stimmy from January that I couldn’t hunt down via the IRS website because for some reason Trump thought my name was Anthony III
like George the Third or some shit.
And for months $600 was literally feet away from me. just laying there. saying tony save me. tony my love. my sweet bald fat man. im right here.
and how crazy that these workers didnt just throw it all away? they know she hasnt lived there for a year. but they did the right thing: they tossed it into my fauna.
they released the cashen.
and today when i went to the taco truck and splurged on a $7 burrito with extra cheese and sour cream, i handed her the plastic and she said
cash only senior.
and i laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed.