this month ive lived in this apartment for 20 years


do you know what has happened in here?

the things ive written, the dreams ive had, the dreams that have come true?

the girls i kissed, the girls i stopped kissing? the girls i wished id kissed?

do you know how much tv ive watched here? how much internet ive browsed? what terrible foods ive ingested?

all the kidney stones ive passed?

LAist pretty much skyrocketed out of here. not to mention this very blog.

people ask, when ya gonna move?

and im all, don’t you see, this is a magical place?

the lady who rented me this place lived in this building for 40 years.

am i gonna break her record? probably not.

i want a garage for an electric car. i want a hot tub and a pool.

i want to throw my money into a pit.

i want a dishwasher.

i want recessed lighting.

i want what i have not got.

but what i want you to know, apartment, is i love you.

i love Geena Davis, that old lady who was in her 80s when she rented me this place despite my lack of money, good credit, or even a job.

i have not been late ever on my rent.

i want to thank mr ken layne (pictured) for moving at just the right time and telling me about this place.

and i wanna thank Shira for originally finding this place and giving it to ken when she moved out.

the santa barbara mafia has had this place since the ’90s.

and it sorta looks like it.