ive got two neighbors who are both born on the same day

geminis. both in great shape. we always tease that we should put a hot tub in our courtyard.

its a funny joke because aint no way we have room for such a thing, and we’d probably electrocute ourselves.

recently one of the neighbors got into a terrible cycling accident where she broke her jaw.

shes an ironwoman.

she was telling this to me and her gemini twinsie and i said ok for your birthdays imma get you each a Peloton and we can have them out in the courtyard that way no one gets hurt and you two can keep your lovely figure

and i can lose these spare tires

and we can look at the weird strangers that pass by our complex every day

and you shoulda seen their eyes light up.

my buddy Chris has been on a bike kick for 6-7 years now and he fits into clothes he wore in college when we were so poor we could barely eat.

only way imma get a new girlfriend is if i lose a good 25 pounds

or hit the lottery.

but probably the first thing said new girlfriend will ask me is

wait, you bought your neighbors Pelotons? are you insane?

and i’ll say

oh strap in

the night is young.