did i do my first podcast today? yes!

was i fucking terrific? yes!

was my guest even better? YES

we talked for three hours, america.

i hooked up the equipment, which wasn’t easy. and i think he was speaking too loudly into the mic but i think it worked, i hope it worked. im too scared to look at it.

but we got into everything that we should have, plus he told me about a secret project he’s about to launch soon. and we even got close to being emotional.

it was perfect.

now i need to listen to it and chop it down, which is gonna be work, man. shit.

i need an intern. i need help. i dont wanna revisit that world.

i dont wanna revisit things for a good 10 years afterwards.

i was reading some emails from 2010. its incredible that Gmail lets you do that.

i have had a full ass life. lemme tell you.

i had to clean up the house a bit because i did it here. so my place is clean, which is nice.

i wanna have a date.

i think im ready.

im not getting any younger.

i have zero prospects.

how is that even possible.

my neighbor told me that today was the first day she ever got flowers. it was her birthday.

do you know how many flowers ive gotten girls?

that should be part of life.

a man should not only know what flowers to get but where to get them in various parts of the city.

and then he should be generous with that knowledge.

and in a city where we have a damn Flower Mart, no girl should reach 27 without having flowers sent to her a few times

a year


yes i thought i would have had a basement by now

mine woulda had carpet tho

and a lot of things on the walls

and a drum set.

i was lucky enough to grow up in a house that had a basement so maybe my basement wishes have already been met

but i always thought i would have one by now, and a fridge in the garage.

ive only had a garage twice

once in atwater village during the northridge quake with the three bad roommates

and once with the truest on clinton park in the mission.

i have had a very full life.

the more pictures i put up on my walls in this room the more i truly see how full its been

this weekend i spent some time with friends and they had a 5 year old.

she couldnt have been a sweeter child.

she was singing Drivers License to us by heart.

then Let It Go.

she tried to tell me a knock knock joke but she couldnt remember the punch line and keep saying banana

i was all

pssst ok now say orange.

youd think after all this time thered be more modern knock knock jokes.

but there sure as hell are better crayons, i did learn that.