nothing in here is true

  1. Saturday, February 20, 2021

    i get so stuck sometimes 

    at first i thought it was distractions

    and maybe it is

    but it’s not the ones i thought

    what if my biggest distractions are facebook and twitter and instagram and reddit and snapchat?

    i always tell people that it if wasnt my job i would just huck my phone

    or have phone office hours and then turn it off the rest of the day

    but i read those things constantly because they are a constant source of joy and information

    beauty and inspiration

    ways to be wicked

    and 65 new ways to be a damn good person.

    even if the articles are bunk im looking at the design, the SEO, the graphics, the sound

    when bono sang IM WIDE AWAKE i didnt understand at the time because it was the ’80s

    but im so awake its scary.

    how am i supposed to focus?

    and you know maybe thats the podcast right there: an hour unedited

    hit record, upload, move on to the next one.

    i have zero interest or time to fix shit in post.

    do you have any idea how many ideas i need to get out there?

    and they keep coming.

    i remember when robyn bell asked me if i would be interested in leaving the letters and science dept at UCSB and come over to the college of creative studies

    and i asked, creativity, eh?

    then i asked, do you think our creativity drains up after a while?

    and she said, nope.

    and she did not lie.

  2. Friday, February 19, 2021

    am i a born again Christian 


    while at the house with the spectacular view i was asked if i am a born again Christian

    and i hesitated because im not sure

    for me to be born again means that as an adult you choose the religion

    and it helps if something magical brought you to the conclusion.

    thats me.

    but we all know the world rarely fits into the tony pierce definition for things

    the world probably says you have to be baptised again and several other requirements.

    but being born again isnt something thats in the bible so to me it’s all made up and therefore insignificant but i dont want to avoid answering questions simply because it’s complicated.

    but the mere fact i was considering saying yes seemed to surprise the gentleman asking

    i guess because i dont come across as a born again Christian

    which, i hate to say,

    is probably a compliment.

    which is sad because i bet you there are tons of believers who, like me, aren’t stereotypical in the negative way.

    and arent trying to convert or debate or judge.

    if anything i think i am religious because religion was never forced on me.

    one day in college i decided to take a class called the Bible as Literature

    and the more i read the stories the more i was shocked at how different they were from what i thought they were. how much wasnt in there. and how short they were.

    so i ended up reading the whole thing to see what else i thought i knew that i didnt know.

    the best part of the story is this: i ended up taking two classes about the Bible,
    became super into it
    and i still got bad grades in both classes.

    neither teacher appreciated my interpretations.

    i remember one guy

    we were studying the new testament. Jesus giving the Sermon on the Mount.

    He says that the meek shall inherit the Earth.

    so my paper was something like “I Still Think The Meek Are Screwed”

    and in it i gave example after example of how Christians and Jews are instructed to aim higher than just the mundane things: money, property, idols, the flesh. Story after story about guys who want material things — or gets them — and they’re still unhappy.

    everyone is being told, turn away from the things of the world, you treasure will be in Heaven.

    then here at the mount we are told the Meek will get the Earth in the future.

    i was like, in Revelations they said the earth is going to be uninhabitable, locust everywhere, worse than Sodom and Gomorrah. so who wants to inherit that?

    i wrote, unless the Earth means The Heavens, why should anyone want to inherit something theyve been told is a red herring?

    well this teacher flipped out.

    my paper was jackson pollock of red ink.

    fortunately it was pass fail so since i did the paper on time he couldnt truly punish me for actually reading the book and writing down what i thought.

  3. Thursday, February 18, 2021

    today i drove around like santa claus 

    i didnt expect to actually talk to anyone but i was invited into the most beautiful home

    with the greatest view.

    every night the Dodgers light off fireworks they get to take it in from their deck.

    can you imagine?

    i have known the greatest people.

    maybe thats what this podcast should be.

    maybe shane is right: who needs a gimmick when you have the busblog?

    all i have to do is talk to the people i already know

    and their friends and family

    and thats the show.

    it could at least be the first 5 seasons.

    22 episodes a season, so 110 people?

    do i know 110 interesting people?

    of course.

    was very disappointed when i left their home and drove through the jack in the box

    theyve already discontinued their McClucker sandwich or whatever they call it.

    it was incredible: fried boneless chicken breast, guac, bacon, mayo, tomato.

    theyd even kiss you on the forehead if you got the combo with curly fries

    when i didnt see it on the screen i asked is this a mistake

    the voice on the box said

    you’re in the best part of LA for tacos and youre in jack in the box so dont ask me about mistakes

  4. Wednesday, February 17, 2021


    it seems like life is a struggle between not giving a shit

    and very much giving an incredibly important shit.

    and as with most things, the Good Book has advice.


    consider the lilies and the birds and all the things without iphones it sorta says

    and 401ks and Hinge accounts

    God takes care of all of those creatures

    so of course He’s gonna take care of us too.

    in fact nowadays the lilies’ biggest threat

    is man, ironically.

    God’s favorite.

    it’s funny that the older ive gotten

    the less i worry about what people think

    and the more i worry about what God thinks

    and even though i have no children

    i worry about the planet that i will leave behind for them.

    am i fucking it up by driving cars?

    do you know how much i love driving?

    for five years i would intentionally head into Los Angeles traffic

    to pick up stressed out, high powered, sometimes stuck up

    movers and shakers of Century City and Beverly Hills

    and race them to LAX.

    do you know how much i loved doing that?

    learning who these people were after 10 minutes?

    hearing about every person’s life, family, travel plans, life plans

    and sometimes,

    the most intimate fears and sadnesses.

    i had to stop driving after 3am on weekends

    even though the rates were high and the traffic was nil

    though more dangerous

    because the vibe in the car got dark after 3am.

    either it was people who got what they wanted

    and were super disappointed.

    or did not get what they wanted and were super bummed out.

    one guy cried and cried in the back of my car

    an actor.

    a sweet, young, gay actor from somewheres else who got rejected

    and had had a bad day anyway

    and was now going home alone a loser.

    and i said

    i couldnt be more the opposite of you

    or your running mascara

    but we do share a real love of the arts.

    so let me leave you with this

    the next time you are playing a role where you have to be

    really fucking sad

    remember this night.

  5. Tuesday, February 16, 2021

    my name is tony and sometimes i pick fights on twitter 

    i feel like i need to

    i feel like if youre gonna say the dumbest thing

    in public

    and no one else says wtf

    then i have to say it

    otherwise theyre going to think they can keep on going with that horse caca

    (not pictured)

    had two excellent conversations today while getting in my steps.

    the first was with a major in the armed forces

    we’d probably be best friends if he didnt live in an igloo

    he threeway called us with a famous fotographer – neither of us have talked in forever

    we talked about one of our friends who had lost his job and his manager broke up with him

    we discussed very complex and sensitive items

    laughing and speaking over each other like no time had passed since we last partied

    they were drinking, i was walking at a brisk pace bc i was cold

    the second phone conversation was held at my home

    a beautiful woman who in the middle of the conversation said

    im no longer beautiful.

    i said prove it.

    later a noise startled my cats and they tore ass under my bed.

    nothing bad has happened to these animals

    ever in their lives.

    the most trauma theyve ever experienced was

    when i trim their nails a few times a year

    on my bed!

    and yet.

    the day began at 230pm when i had a 90 minute call with a gentleman in columbia

    couldnt have been nicer.

    because my sleep is so backwards i had to set my alarm

    so i would not miss the 230pm call.

    much of texas right now has no power.

    people are freezing cold.

    the governor is blaming green energy.

    i say prove it.


  6. Monday, February 15, 2021

    today i talked for an hour with a very good man 

    as we chatted i walked to target, then up to hollywood blvd

    then through los feliz

    then through the grocery store

    then thru yr heart

    got home and cooked

    didnt clean

    didnt work

    played with the cats which is something i try to do more of because

    i have no idea how much amber played with them

    but for years she was around and

    now shes not

    so i dont want them to feel alone

    i dont want them to be unloved just bc its cold.

    somewhere i read that if kids dont get a lot of love they’ll turn psycho and probably surround themselves with guns when they get older

    i dont want any gloomy emo cats googling ways to get ar-15s when im on my walk

    whats weird about them is they dont like to be pet at the same time

    life is all about normal things on paper

    that in reality doesnt happen.

    only if i get a fire going in the fireplace do the cats allow me to pet them at the same time

    but whos got time for that

    i had television to watch

    and importing things to avoid.

  7. Sunday, February 14, 2021

    thirty one years ago i had dinner with the B-52s 

    i remember very little of it

    im starting to think thats good

    maybe i want to be the person that someone says oh yeah i met him and i remember nothing

    because if you are that person that means i wasnt rude to you

    i didnt do anything outrageous

    i just showed up, shook hands, gave you an autograph

    hugged you without groping

    and went on with my day.

    i literally have nothing to prove any more.

    my only goals are to make my momma happy and the Lord not want to cross me off the Good List.

    the only thing i really remember from that day was the food was good.

    it was right there in the Thunderdome where they would play later that night. Biggest tour theyd ever have. and i thought this: when they planned out their tour they probably thought oh we’re gonna play LA then SF, lets see if we can play at the college in between in Santa Barbara.

    and they probably thought oh we can go shopping eat at a great restaurant, go to the beach

    but im not sure they did any of that.

    im pretty sure they just stayed near the arena the whole day or in their tour busses.

    they were adults. there was no food fights. there wasnt even any weed aroma.

    i remember a different band that asked us to find cocaine for them. this band did not.

    this band ate the food and smiled and chit chatted about god knows what.

    i want to be like that so much.

    because i am






  8. Thursday, February 11, 2021

    look ma, i’m on Medium now 

    the busblog is nearly 20 years old.

    however there are some things that really shouldnt be on here.

    super true things, for starters,

    and also things that could find a bigger audience elsewhere… like on Medium

    my secret blog over there is busblog.medium.com

    things i want to put over there are

    exclusive interviews

    various bits about hollywood and the surrounding area

    workout tips

    cryptocurrency insights

    van halen lyrics

    breaking news

    detailed details about my personal life

    and links to my onlyfans content

    today i wrote about my favorite corporate Twitter account, Wendy’s.

    on Facebook i do this thing called

    today in corporate twitter

    where i critique when brands make fools of themselves

    or in this case, where they really shine.

    so since Wendy’s carved out a day where they could make fun of people and brands, it seemed like the perfect day to launch this new blog.

    i hope you liked it, but even if you don’t when you go there follow me and click the hand claps and comment and print it out and make a paper airplane of it and put that in a bottle and toss it into the sea.

    and i hope i get it.

  9. Tuesday, February 9, 2021

    did a great interview today for my new blog 

    the guy is a hugely successful television producer and long time reader of this very blog.

    he had some advice for me about my forthcoming podcast which i wanted to disagree with, but did i mention he’s hugely successful?

    meanwhile im working the pole at Gold Diggers at 2-6pm

    what was weird is usually i begin the interviews by buttering the guest up, but he beat me to the punch, complimenting me and this and saying that i always had the most interesting cast of characters here

    he even gave me props for nothing in here is true which sorta blew my mind.

    i drove around hollywood as i talked to him because my phone connection is always great when im not doing anything, but any time im conducting a serious interview it cuts off on me.

    once i was interviewing now-councilperson Nithya Raman from my living room and the phone dropped like 5 times. so embarrassing.

    so now i just drive while i interview, pulling over every now and then to look at my notes.

    howard stern had it right: if two people are having a great conversation one hour is about right. i think today we did about an hour ten.

    we agreed on many things, disagreed on a few, but the whole time he was so upbeat and friendly and real. only a few questions did he not want to answer, which is good, you want to keep pushing as a reporter to see where the boundaries are. usually they’re where you think they would be, some people surprise you.

    anyways it was very nice to be a journalist again. especially nice knowing that this is going to go into my own publication. and if it takes off, i alone will reap the rewards.

    it is funny though, i still get nervous before it goes down. it doesnt matter who i interview. ever since Black Francis was a dead fish conversation way back in 1991, i am terrified that i will be unprepared for the worst, and fortunately that day has never revisited itself. but still i get scared.

    Then i get freaked out that the recording didnt take. i forget who, but once at the Academy i interviewed someone and the recording didnt work but thank God I took notes and was able to make it work. oh it was the great John August. fortunately we also had a follow-up interview scheduled so i was able to get a few more questions in there. still it was embarrassing because i really loved working for my boss Josh Spector and i could see how disappointed he was.

    but shit happens with tech and he knows that as well as anyone. in the long run i think i have been far luckier with it than not. one thing i do is i usually call my mom and record her first to see if everything works. she played along by reeling off a list of curse words. LOL JK.

    tomorrow i transcribe it and work on another project im doing for someone else.

    it’s nice to be busy. it’s nice to talk to nice people. it’s nice to be alive.

  10. Monday, February 8, 2021

    tomorrow theyre going after trump one last time 

    it’s the trial of his second impeachment. the sequel.

    but unlike the first one, this one is going to be in a senate where the dems are the majority.

    they say trump isnt going to show up and thats too bad because under oath it would be fascinating to watch him do his best to tell the truth.

    i dont know why they didnt ask me to help him get on the stand because i could do it easily.

    macho men HATE being called out, especially by women.

    if i was the dems i would have all the female members of congress who he has insulted and disrespected, and i would have them make a little video.

    it would be called Dear MAGA.

    it would go like this.

    Dear MAGA,

    for four years your president talked a good game. he promised you a wall, great jobs, better healthcare than obamacare… he even promised to release his taxes.

    all lies.

    he talks a lot for a guy who golfs a lot and doesnt work.

    he called us names and tried to insult us, but look at us: we’re still here in Washington DC and not only is he gone but so is the Republican majority in the Senate.

    behind closed doors we always said to ourselves, “trump is weak. he’s gutless. he’s a coward.”

    and look at him now. hiding in his bunker. like a baby.

    MAGA, your guy is too afraid of his own shadow to come back to the scene of the crime and tell us how innocent he is. he’s too chicken shhh to get on the stand, put his hand on the Bible he pretends to love, and tell us what really happened the day that his supporters busted down the doors and climbed into the windows and desecrated democracy.

    he knows he’s guilty and he’s too afraid to look you in the eye and admit it, or look us in the eye and defend himself.

    he is old, he’s fat, he’s balding, and he’s guilty.

    and he knows this is something that your money can’t change.

    donald trump is afraid of the truth.

    and that’s why he is too cowardly to take the stand.

    ever get the feeling you’ve been cheated?