a year ago today amber and i broke up

as you probably know, the xbi does not allow me to be in long term relationships

but for four years i was able to get one exemption after another

to the point where i feel like they wanted her here with me

and i could see why, i ate better, i was doing things that they probably liked

and i wasn’t dating any of their enemies

we all knew the hammer was gonna come down, and for it to happen at the same time as the insurrection was mighty dramatic but if anyones a drama ho its the xbi

some things have not changed at all in this apartment and ive gotta fix that

for example her office is pretty much the same

but the worst is my damn icloud shows me pictures of her all the time – at the worst times.

i delete a bunch and then a bunch more magically appear.

i must have taken thousands of pictures of her.

do i know where she is? no. have we been in contact no.

normally that would be a good thing. but in this case i think its best for both of us.

typically i like being in touch with my ex gfs, they were super important to me and i value every relationship i have been in. every.

but sometimes, especially when youve been tied at the hip it’s good to breathe a little and im sure she is enjoying her freedom because i admit, i was a bit possessive with her free time.

i didnt realize how much i was until she was gone.

lately ive been going to one movie after another. something i wouldnta done in the past bc i woulda wanted to see the movie with her, talk about it, and as we would drive home she would read the LA Times review of it aloud and we would either agree or disagree with it.

whereever she is i hope she is happier than shes ever been.

i hope shes safe and healthy and living the life she always wanted.

she deserves it. shes a good person.