i know im doing something wrong, but i dont care

every time i put out a podcast it flops on my Facebook.

i can’t figure out the algorithm. FB typically doesn’t like links that go outside of its walls, so i make little videos and upload them into FB.

it doesnt seem to like that neither.

maybe my friends are tired of me, of IT of my subjects.

but the subjects dont really tweet it out either.

people dont write me nice emails saying what a good job i did for them.

all of which is weird because

I FRICKIN LOVE EVERY SINGLE PODCAST

i love the blog posts, i love the commercials, i love it allllllllll

i almost want to tweet

“i dont care if you dont listen to this but here it is”

but i do care

the thing is i care slightly less every week because i know people arent going to listen in the numbers i want them to listen.

we’ve done 19 episodes and only one girl is all omg lets make love.

one other has said something like that but shes married so it doesnt count.

the omg lets sex it up ratio needs to improve

but again, i dont care because i know how great these things are.

i know if i get hit by a meteor tomorrow people will say sure the busblog, sure LAist

but have you heard Hear in LA? it’s genius.

so much credit has to go to Jordan and if i die i hope he gets all the credit he deserves because heres the crazy thing that you dont see: when you have a team, a real team, sometimes you need the other guy to slam it home.

i can dribble dribble dribble but when i alley

i need someone to oop.

jordan slams it home every time.

he makes it better, but more importantly he closes the deal.

the other day i was all, ok we need some audio clips from jake’s youtube. i found them, sent them to jordan and because jordan is a pro musician he added some original piano underneath one of the clips to make it sound sad.

it made the whole thing sound perfect.

i cant believe how lucky and happy i am to be doing this.

if i can get even the smallest part time job for a little while i will be able to keep this train rolling

because someone is going to discover this

 

very excited that this podcast is going up on time

here’s the crazy thing: every one of our podcasts have gone up on time

i have never had a problem with deadlines

deadlines are your friends.

but this week’s was actually done a little early, i had time to watch church, fold my laundry, do some dumb baseball card things, and write a few blog posts.

am i getting better? do we have a little rhythm?

this blog post for Jake is actually way longer and includes more images than the typical post but i think because he spoke very clearly it was easier to post?

who knows. who knows anything. all i know is i wanted him very badly to be part of this

then it happened. and now he’s back in Texas for who knows how long?

sometimes that window of opportunity is there

and sometimes you have to wait outside that window and throw lil pebbles at it

imma go to sleep, wake up and put it up and be happy.

i am very happy doing this podcast.

this will be number 19.

nuh nuh nuh nuh nineteen.

i almost wanna have kids so i can teach them things

but as the replacements once sang, kids wont listen

i was not lucky with the ladies in high school.

not only was i the only Black guy in school, but i had no male figures to say ok heres what you do.

the first kiss i got in 6th grade was during spin the bottle at a party where one of my best friend’s girlfriend spun the thing and when it pointed at me she grabbed my hand and took me to the bathroom

before i could say what about Dave, she was kissing me the way they do in France.

i was shocked, i felt like i had stomped all over the Bro Code, and i was also alive like i had never been before.

about a half hour later i spun the bottle, got her, and we marched in there and went at it again.

long live italian girls.

but life, it turns out, is not like that.

you gotta hustle. and when you do, sometimes you literally kiss the air as the woman ducks out of the way.

which is why isla vista was so magical.

you could be kneeling at your bed with your nightcap on, saying your prayers good night

and the prettiest girl youve ever seen taps on your sliding glass door

to ask if she could be the little spoon real quick.

was this how life was going to be?

just show up and have your teeth brushed and

miracles would happen to your undeserving soul?

oui

 

my mom influences my podcast more than you think

i figure if i can make it easy enough for her to hear it and read it and watch the lil commercials

then i have hit the ideal barrier to entry

my problem is i have two youtube channels

a medium page that’s sorta behind a paywall

several different ways to access the podcasts

and then my crazy social channels, none of which she taps into.

so this weekend im gonna build a Hear in LA website, here on this server

and everything will live here

and thats probably not the best way to do things, but who cares any more.

i just want my mom to be happy and be proud

just like how Louie felt about his ma

somethings will break your heart

but hearts dont really break. thank God.

they ache maybe. but thats from greasy food.

what we mean by heart breaking is actually a feeling and an emotion that heals quickly and easily

usually it revolves around love and longing and fond memories and

endings that didn’t end the way we wanted them to

or how we thought they would.

but i can’t tell you one ending that ended the way i expected it to

not the good ones, not the bad ones, not the weird ones, not the boring ones

seems to me these endings have a mind of their own

and i could huff and puff and scheme and tinker

but those endings are just LOL whatever tony

and they just do their own little freaky thing

so maybe i should get over this illusion of control

or this other nonsense that i can predict the future

and just accept What Is

and be happy we could all see it together.

i procrastinate like a pro

i have been feeling less than productive lately

do i blame the cubs? the perfect weather?

i know what it is but i wont say it in here because sometimes things are best left out there

floating in the netherlands

not wanting to be named but they are named.

can you believe that dude hasn’t paid me yet?

i may have a three month job doing Good for a Good organization.

i dont believe in jinxing things, so i will say that.

it’ll be nice to have a real job for a little while with a regular paycheck and i can get off the dole.

can you believe its been nearly a year since i was working regular-like?

covid is a mf.

anyways it’s time for me to go outside and see what the world has to offer.

there is a group of ucsb alumni on facebook

and one of the things we all agree on is it’s a miracle that we grew up in a time

when none of the “bad” things that we did in high school and college were documented

the amount of photos the average teen takes in 1 day these days

accounts for all of the photos we would have taken in a year.

theres good and bad news about that.

but one things for sure,

aint no pics of any of my friends smoking out of a pipe

when theres a perfectly good party bong sitting right there.

ten years ago today i was in canada

and i was looking in the eyes of a girl whose eyes looked a little like mine

first time i had ever experienced that

likewise, it was eye opening seeing canada through the eyes of a canadian

i remember so many things from that trip

ups and downs, highs and lows

i had just been dumped by my dream job (low)

but they gave me a sack of money as a parting gift (high)

and because i had done so well while i was there i was convinced the next place id work would be an even dreamier dream

those are the feelings i hope everyone has as they travel across new bayous.

we stayed in one nice hotel after the other because i was a master of Priceline

plus we did not give one shit where we would spend the night that night

so i would lowball incredible regions of town and ask for a great deal on a 5 star hotel

and every now and then luck said yes

but i must say one thing about fancy hotels

theyre all pretty much the same, big, tall, wide

i almost always feel like the fancier it is, the more people should be in the room

and its just usually some blue eyed sweetheart

or hazel

or green

or

trouble.