nothing in here is true

  1. Sunday, January 15, 2017

    deal of the day: Billy Joel at Dodger Stadium 

    the piano man doesn’t play a lot in LA and even less in California.

    the last time he treated us to Big Shot, Anthony’s Song, Pressure, and You May Be Right was in 2014 when he played a trio of shows at the Bowl.

    but this year he’s gonna try to fill Dodger Stadium, and it looks like it just. might. happen.

    because supply is outpacing demand, tickets on the secondary markets are at or below cost.

    billy has been around the block, and he clearly knows the value of his concert tickets.

    as you see from the image above, Top Deck tickets are going for $77 + stubhub fees of $20 which is slightly higher than face value which is $50 + $25 ticketmaster fees

    but to me the more interesting option is Front Section where you can get single tickets for under $300 after fees.

    to put that in perspective, there were zero tickets on the floor of Dodger Stadium under $300 for Beyonce last year.


    When the Police toured the world for their reunion in 2007 they packed Dodger Stadium now their frontman can’t sell out two nights at the Hollywood Palladium.

    Is the $100 ticket price too high?

    I don’t think so. He’s still Sting. Even if the record is a stinker, he’s still a huge star who could dip into a deep songbook of hits both as a solo artist and the singer of one of the biggest rock bands of the last 30 years. Of course he should be able to charge $125 (after Live Master gets theirs) and of course he should be able to sell out two nights at the famous hall.

    But it’s not happening and keep your eyes peeled towards Goldstar because this is a bit embarrassing.

    To save even more money: Get your tickets at the Hollywood Palladium box office on Saturdays from 10am-2pm without service charges for any event at the Hollywood Palladium or Wiltern .

  2. maybe 2017 should be the dark period 

    picasso had his blue period, brahms had his flute period

    perhaps the busblog should go super dark in 2017

    these tv serieses say they can only do five seasons and thats a load

    we can do whatever we want. hasnt trump howard stern dylan the kardashians

    and every single cat

    taught you by now that rules are fer fools

    heres my process to creating a busblog post

    inspired by an image

    tamp down the sadness/anger/fear/hatered/love

    squoosh it into the size of a raisin

    eat said fruit

    before it’s swallowed, finish the post

    and you better not have written about the inspiration

    or yr a dirty cheater.

  3. Saturday, January 14, 2017

    yesterday was elisas last day at work and patrick j dropped by 

    so a bunch of us went to Natalee Thai on robertson and olympic

    usually the primo thai joint in 90210

    a close second going to tuk tuk thai

    the place was packed

    they sat us in the back.

    when the food came out it was hot

    spicy hot like omg

    then it got really hot

    i drank coke. then ate rice.

    people were crying.

    i was crying.

    my sinuses cleared and a truck went through them.

    my ears cleared and i could hear again.

    hair grew on my chest. and my ears, but the fire singed it all, which was nice.

    i asked for a to go bag but

    i threw it out at work and the trash can caught fire.

    and then the fire caught fire.

    but its sinuses cleared.

  4. Thursday, January 12, 2017
  5. today is howard stern’s birthday, he’s 24 

    ive listened to howard stern almost every day for the last 20 years.

    not sure what it’s done for me other than:

    make me a better interviewer

    make me less afraid of people of all walks

    inspired me to seek out the unique beauty of conquerors, kings, and lesbians

    reminded me that the more in tune you are with your true self, the more the audience will respond positively

    it’s ok to yell the customer, your boss, your coworkers, your parents

    (but if you do you could likely be fired, shunned, ridiculed, and make your mommy sad)

    no matter how much money you make, no matter how popular you are, no matter how powerful you are, no matter how beautiful your wife is, and no matter how skinny you are, if that voice in your head tells you that you suck you are going to think that you suck and it will be very hard for you to enjoy your life – or anything. thus the goal of this short time on earth is to seek inner peace and ignore the trappings as they are a distraction.

    feed your animals, your children and yourself on a schedule.

    fuck george bush and fuck the fcc.

  6. Wednesday, January 11, 2017

    popular things i’ve never understood 

    rooting for the yankees

    peeing fetishes

    foot fetishes

    electronic dance music

    modern day conservatism

    incest porn

    lack of outrage over priests fucking boys


    ryan seacrest

    the designated hitter

    clothes shopping

    not wearing condoms

    call of duty

    smoking cigarettes

    ass play

    black socks



    san diego

    super bad drivers

    not washing your hands after using a public rest room

    law & order

    marrying for money


    root beer


  7. Monday, January 9, 2017

    picked up a guy at usc who had a complicated knee brace 

    i was all, snowboarding?

    he said, skiing.

    i was like, kids still ski?

    he goes

    but before he could i answered for him, not well.


    id been driving for about two hours around SC. today was their first day back from break.

    after so many days of getting very few rides i just wanted to do like 15 or 16 in a couple of hours and get the mojo going again.

    did 22.

    this guy was the last one.

    he goes, hold on got my buddy coming.

    im all, youre the invalid and you got here first?

    his friend arrives with a jovial, hey cripple.

    i slide the iphone and start the ride. Arabian Nights? whats that?

    he goes, we’re gonna buy a bong!


    his buddy is like, all the guys on our floor chipped in and we’ve got $100.

    i go, what sort of flooring is happening in this dorm?

    he’s like hardwood.

    im all well you cant get glass.

    he’s like i cant use a plastic bong.

    i go dude one bong and an entire floor of freshmen dudes? that things gonna break.

    he goes, theres carpet in the rooms.

    and im well alright then, but maybe you should rubberize it or something. get creative.

    and his buddy murmurs, the old one did break. glass.

    i said SEE!


  8. there will be days when the road you take is blocked off 

    dont fight it.

    theres nothing to fight.

    there will be a time to fight things.

    but most of the time the lesson is, how can i work this?

    how can i improvise while going with the flow?

    how can i adjust?

    today there was a bomb scare or a real bomb at that big white building right there at the corner of Wilshire and San Vincente across from where i did lifespring way back in the day.

    back when i was a lad i got my French visa from the embassy near there. i met a girl a few blocks from there who rode me around her moped and kissed me overlooking the valley.

    one thing led to another and she told me to hit her. i said what? she said dont stop feeling me up, but with your other hand slap me. it turns me on. so i slapped her. she said harder. i said come on. she said no you come on. hit me bitch.

    she had the sweetest voice and behind all the make up and punk rock clothes and attitude and book smarts she was one of the softest creatures ive ever been close to. it was impossible for me to hit her. so i just knocked over her scooter right there on mulholland.

    well that was dumb, she complained.

    so was taking wilshire this morning, i want to tell her.

  9. Sunday, January 8, 2017

    gonna try something new this week while driving 

    works simple. first half hour of each hour try to get a Select ride.

    if no rides appear by the second half of the hour just take any old ride.

    the goal is $20 an hour. if you can do that for 20 hours that gets you $400 a week.

    my goal last year was $250 a week which i hit but i rarely took any old ride.

    its gonna rain pretty hard tomorrow they say

    everyones probs gonna croak.

    then tuesday Casie from Canadas gonna be in town.

    but i will try this experiment, have no fear.


  10. Friday, January 6, 2017

    dont do school 

    theres nothing to understand. it’s all just a wheel that spins and lands on something and then we all have to do that dance.

    theres nothing to feel. it’s just all lights and colors and our brains says beep boop bop and our lips moves and eyes blink and we march into the voting booth

    and do the wrong thing

    knowing we are doing the wrong thing

    knowing that there are actual smart people in the world who should be flying the plane, building the future, splitting the atoms, beginning the beguine.

    she said can you stop writing about yourself

    he said who is me, do you know? does he. does God?

    she said God knows everything.

    he said, then how is it interesting to him? who wants to watch the Brady Bunch for 45 years every day? dont we want to see marcia get hit in the nose by the football and then grab a knife and chase Peter around or Bobby or whoever threw it and say im a high school girl, my nose is everything, youve ruined me, the girls will laugh at me more than the boys because high school boys are so horny they dont care, i just have to keep wearing these short dresses but how am i gonna survive the girls. fine, i’ll just move to a land of the broken nosed rejects.

    eat your drugs, lunch lady. stay in vegetables, sloppy joe.

    vote for the baby, states who dont think women should choose what happens to them.

    play with fire, gullibles and history haters.

    God does know everything

    worst of all, he knows our hearts.