nothing in here is true

  1. Tuesday, April 15, 2014

    etienne says hi. she says she wasnt in the chilian fire 

    etienneor the earthquake. or the sink hole. or the flash flood.

    instead shes interviewing at the santiago daily newspaper trying to get a job so as to put food on the table.

    right now shes very skinny and forced to wear left over sweaters created in strange lands

    we dont chat that often because of uber and life and celebrity demands on both of us.

    but we like each others things on instagram and will occasionally send a link of something to each other.

    thats the way some of my best relationships are.

    heres a heart on the picture of you on insta, i still think youre awesome. heres a like.

    of course any like i get from pretty girls means they love me and want to marry me

    so my brain says.

    where was this rule written?

    in my optimistic heart. the same one that says if the cubs win a game they will win it all.

    the same one that buys lottery tickets even though i barely get one number right.

    the same one that says oh you can eat ten tootsie rolls instead of dinner

    and then at midnight says oh you havent eaten dinner, lets get you dinner.

    the same one that says oh you are twice the age of everyone at coachella: then you should go go go.

    and now i must go.

    etienne is having a birthday soon.

    id get her a gift but it takes a year for her to receive it.

  2. Monday, April 14, 2014
  3. not everything has to be perfect to be fun 



    a while ago my buddy andy said hey if you wanna crash on our couch at coachella just holler

    turned out it was in a super awesome huge house with its own pool hot tub and amazingly comfortable couch.

    for some reason i said no until i found out that some uber drivers were making big money out there

    so despite the fact that i pretend money doesnt matter i high tailed it out there and

    didnt have a good time trying to make money but totally had a good time just enjoying the desert.

    and andys friends and the people i ubered and learning a very difficult puzzle

    while avoiding the cop convention.



    my favorite rides were the free ones.

    right at the peak of one of the moneymaking parts i spent an hour trying to find, finding, and driving andy home.

    that was frustrating at first because i was trying to go in while everyone was trying to go out

    and the police and technology and everything was against me.

    but then it became better when i realized i had become all the things i hated and i needed to be opposite.

    i knew i had turned the corner when a vision appeared in the form of a young lady with a dimple

    and roller blades

    who glided toward my parked car, thumb extended

    parking lot hitch hike? ha. ok.

    if you hadnt heard there was a sandstorm on saturday and this was saturday night and for some reason

    she wasnt allowed to just roll into coachella avec wheels.

    she lived near where we were staying and when i approached the main gate at her spread

    she was all, this is me, unless you wanna come in.

    she had just taught me about the streets in indio being numbers north south

    and dead presidents east west

    i gaver my card and sped off into the unknown because it was only midnight after all



    in the morning i had no regrets which is how life should be but did i have any stories

    everyone else had.

    some had ventured off to the neon carnival the super exclusive party of the year

    djs models actors rappers ferris wheels free booze and all that goes with all of that

    some had done things they hadnt done since college

    and some had driven in the darkness searching for something other than what is caesars

    it was sweet how the cold and wind and scariness that was the night had turned into the calm with the dawn



    even though ive been burned before, i have an odd pleasure out of leaving places early.

    i stopped by the uber lounge to see if anyone was in need of a ride to LA

    stopped into some drive thru and listened to howard stern all the way home interview dan rather

    who went to vietnam for a year as the anchorman of cbs news back in the day

    who had to do the impossible: follow walter cronkite

    it was a fascinating conversation and it made me realize how beautifully some people like rather speak

    he said mark cuban lets him do anything he wants to do


    when i got home i took a nap while watching nardwaur interview riffraff

    woke up and had a long conversation with your bff jeanine natale

    then read second chronicles which i’m almost finished with

    because i dont want to do what is evil in the sight of the lord

    and while i did i had art tatum on but he was just showing off so much it was distracting.

    then mad men, game of thrones and turned off the lights and opened the front door

    because i hadnt seen blanket in way too long

    he was startled after his secret door suddenly shut while he was out exploring

    and he dashed around the corner like he had been spotted without pants

    and he hadnt returned for days

    bu there he was, just now,

    and hungry.




  4. Sunday, April 13, 2014
  5. Friday, April 11, 2014
  6. Thursday, April 10, 2014
  7. sometimes you write into the void and nothing 

    kidand at first youre all wtf and then one day you write and write and

    you get the sweetest cutest response back.

    im sure thats what the aliens are doing to us.

    im sure theyre sending us messages and sounds and songs and musical operas and

    we’re just too busy or cray or uptight to hear it

    but lawd knows as soon as we do we’ll be all

    omg hi aliens omg hiiiiiiii!

    there might be some of us who will be like

    do NOT respond, they’ll invade us if we do, they’ll take all our stuff

    they’ll eat our babies and make incredible love to our womens

    they’ll destroy the internet, they’ll pollute the skies

    they’ll move into echo park and ruin the housing market


    our job on earth, and its an easier one than we think, is to be brave

    we are here for the shortest tiniest little half note in the symphony

    and we can either be an awkward rest

    or we can be the coolest note

    something tells me we here to sing.