nothing in here is true

  1. Thursday, May 14, 2015

    i once had a boss who told me i was not meant to be a manager 

    crazy home

    she said i was more of an Individual Contributor.

    i took great offense at that because i felt that i had been a good manager in the past and inside i have always felt like a leader.

    but i would need a team around me that understood it would be a funky ride not like all the others.

    since then ive seen my fair share of both good and bad managers and i can understand better now what she was talking about

    but i still disagree with her. and it was funny that a number of years ago she called me up asking me if i was willing to relocate to be a manger up in frisco.

    first off, f frisco, and secondly even though i totally respect her and loved her as a boss, how could i work for someone who didnt fully believe in me?

    but as always it comes back to the Good Book, and in it no one truly believes in either the Father or the Son or most of the kings or other leader/managers.

    pretty much the only ppl the ppl in the Good Book believe in are the graven images that they built themselves. you know, the golden calves and other weird idols that they created when shit was getting crazy.

    thus: dont get distracted if your posse isnt fully behind you because guess what, they aint never gonna be fully into you.

    peter the rock dissed jesus thrice before the damn cock crowed.

    but still i wasnt moving to frisco unless i got paid more money than any damn show dog could jump over.

  2. Gay Talese explains perfectly why I hate broken links 

    “I am a record-keeper,” he says in this wonderful short video from Grantland.

    “I am someone who cares about the past as much as the future. I don’t think it’s ethical to erase the past.”

    I have had the sad fortune of working with some very powerful people who have no respect for what Mr. Talese succinctly laid out. Editors who care very much about writing stories that get temporary traffic, but years later abandon stories and sections and entire blogs and delete them willy-nilly for a variety of foolish reasons.

    As journalists, we ARE record-keepers. By being digital journalists we have a new responsibility to be custodians to the past even if that past is merely a few years old.

    Thus it is irresponsible to delete blogs, stories, posts and photos.

    There should never be a broken link on a professional news site that leads to something else within that news site.

    Likewise there should be more, not less, hyperlinks to corroborating evidence. Rarely do I see that in major news sites, and it’s appalling. All these digital editors, web producers, and online publications, and yet we try to pretend that all of the information is conveniently packaged in that one story? Impossible. Link.

    And for God sake, don’t change the URL, and if you must, have a solid way to redirect it to where it is now.

  3. Wednesday, May 13, 2015

    do you pray? 

    me and amber last summer do you get on your knees every night after you brush your teeth and floss?

    do you say dear Lord please bless mommy and daddy and mama dugas and papa dugas?

    do you say thank for letting the Cubs win today, thanks for letting me have a good day?

    thanks for letting me drive that crazy dude all the way to hermosa at 2.3 surge

    and thanks for letting me live in a beautiful place where theres a guy selling tacos next to a gas station?

    do you then say the our father and sometimes lose your place because your mind wanders?

    and then do you say ok and please bless ilka and mary and the truest and jeanine?

    because if you do also say

    and also bless amber, whereever she is because shes a sweet girl who deserves good things

    please show her the way and take care of her and be extra nice to her because she helped show the way to jeanine

    and that was priceless.

    and then say the our father again and if you want the Hail Mary.

    full of grace

    the Lord is with thee.

    there are good people in the world who should have good things happen to them.

    and amber is def one of those people.

    so please merciful God please shine a warm light on her and

    do all the cool things we all know are possible.

    in Jesus’s name.


  4. Tuesday, May 12, 2015

    went to the new kanpai last night with jeanine and sass 

    new kanpai

    the new kanpai is about two miles away from the old kanpai, but this one is on sepulveda on the way to LAX

    sass and sushi

    sass is being kicked out of america for being too sexy so we decided to celebrate by eating all the fish

    while singing

    not super crowded

    we didn’t disturb anyone because no one knows the new kanpai even exists yet which was great


    it meant we could eat these weird baby sardines on top of shrimp wrapped delightfulness

    jeanine and sass

    only bad thing about new kanpai is they haven’t paid off the powers that be yet so you cant drink there

    but you get 10% off your tab which is good because new kanpai still has old kanpai prices

    which is why i usually rob a bank before i go there, but damn is it worth it.


    Kanpai Sushi Bar & Grill
    8736 S Sepulveda Blvd
    Los Angeles, CA 90045

    just look for the bathroom sign that has a typo

  5. Monday, May 11, 2015

    today is my first girlfriend ever marys birthday 

    i wonder where she is how shes doing whats going on with her. how her boys are. if she thinks about me. if she roots for the cubs.

    does she have gray hair. does she still have a sweet voice. if she prays for me. i pray for her.

    she both made everything fantastic for a 15 year old boy and ruined everything. because she was the prettiest, coolest, sweetest girl i knew.

    how on earth did she want to talk to me on the phone? why on earth was she holding my hand. then kissing me? then being my girlfriend?

    she was the best because she taught me you can approach whoever you wanted because who knows maybe theyd be into it. maybe theyd say yes.

    maybe theyd see you for you. you didnt have to make up anything. you didnt have to be a tall blond blue eyed surfer guy.

    you could be the biggest nerd alive and after the movie you could driver home and lean over and kiss her as tom petty was playing

    and shed kiss you right back.

    until her dad turned on the garage light.

    then she would write notes and letters and send gifts and move away but still write and call and

    mama mia.

    so of course when i see its may eleventh i think of her.

    you woulda too.

    her breath always smelled great.

    her stationary was always pretty.

    and any time i heard her voice id feel just like those lucky few who make it into heaven feel:


    and those are the things i shoot for still to these days.

    because i know it’s possible.

    even today.

  6. shout out to my man don frances 


    many moons ago i was a happy bachelor living alone on 24th and Potrero in the mission district.

    i had a sweet 1BD apt with a fireplace, dishwasher, washer drier in the bathroom. i even had a balcony that overlooked a church.

    god i was happy.

    but then don (pictured with the sexy glasses) and charlie knocked on my door and invited me to move to 591 haight street and live with them in a huge victorian.

    5 bedrooms and one little bathroom.

    i said no of course. why would i leave my beautiful pad? they said because of all the cool people youre gonna meet. including the women!

    i said oh im up to my neck in women. all they do is come over and love me and dance around and then go home. it’s like heaven!

    lies they said (and they were right) so i packed up my entire apartment and moved into one room!

    i had a terrific time and fell in love with the truest and moved outta the haight house with her and never looked back, except for all the time.

    now i hear Don has just had open heart surgery!

    he’s ok, but a prayer would be nice.

    keep Don safe and strong, Lord



  7. with uber plus youve gotta find your spots, but its worth it 

    drugsthe good thing about uber plus is you make twice the amount of money per ride.

    the bad thing is theres a lot less rides.

    so youve gotta be patient and learn where the rides are gonna come from. which is a fun little game because when youre right you can make $50 for a 20 minute drive.

    the weird thing is i never know what music to play. these are well-heeled people requesting a mercedes or beamer and they probably dont wanna hear all the booty shaking music the ladies of uber x usually respond to,

    or the classic rock or grunge the fellas seem to prefer.

    so i usually put on sirius 67: Real Jazz. monk, coltrane, miles, etc.

    every single time i ask them “is jazz ok or would you like something different?” they say, omg this is perfect, thank you!

    and then we talk and barely hear the music.

    except for last night i picked up two russian dudes at mr chows and a beautiful young lady. they made me wait a whopping ten minutes which is 5 mins more than id wait on regular uber but whatevs, so i didnt even ask them if the music was ok.

    it was late at night, what else could they have wanted.

    but the 60ish year old guy next to me says “can you put on something with a beat? edm or rap or something?”

    so i turned the dial to BPM and he started singing along telling his friends in the back that he had just been to Ultra in Miami and it was fantastic.

    after a while the selena gomez / zedd tune came on and he said, hey can you turn it up and really got into it.

    this is why i dont do drugs. the world is a trip all by itself.

  8. Sunday, May 10, 2015
  9. today i thanked my mom for not tossing me in the garbage 

    me and mom when it began

    i was so little it woulda been easy.

    plus back in the 60s, who woulda missed a little black boy in DC?

    hardly anyone.

    but no, she kept me safe and fed me and clothed me and took me to school and practices and games and recitals and to the movies and to concerts

    have i told you about the time my mom drove me to see AC/DC back in black tour and said, ok call me when its over and i’ll pick you up.

    we did not live near that arena.

    but in the middle of the night my mom drove her Pontiac Grand Prix through the suburbs of Illinois and retrieved her first born.

    she coulda left me at the Rosemont Horizon. who woulda missed a teenage black boy whose mind was freshly blown?

    later she paid off my college loans, listened to my crazy tales of frisco then westwood then hollywood.

    she saw me rise and fall and whatever this is now

    me and mom at the oscars

    she endured the curse words out of my mouth and typewriter

    and my oh my some of the girls she was introduced to.

    at every turn she could have poisoned my fruit punch soda, but no

    she loved me and supported me and sent me easter baskets and birthday cards

    and christmas boxes because i didnt wanna go back to Chicago in the snow and cold.

    there are so many good things that ive learned from her and try to emulate

    i will never gain them all, but i will keep on trying

    because thats what she does.

    i love you mom! happy mothers day!

  10. Friday, May 8, 2015

    its cold and rainy and depressing in LA right now 

    mad catterbut you know what cheered me up really nicely last night?

    a lovely phone call from your bff jeanine marie bon natale.

    her transformation from drunky drunky hard to even talk with alkie

    to super clear super focused sweet as can be straight edge angel is a joy to behold.

    proof that your life can turn around in a split second once you truly decide that you are not who you are pretending to be

    once you choose Good over dumb

    once you say i deserve the best.

    it’s incredible how quickly it all changed and how real it is.

    like i’d bet on it.

    id bet that not only will she never drink again but she wont even consider it.

    it’s a miracle in the making, this little girl who could drink a bottle of whatever in a matter of hours has now totally turned her back on it all

    not because she has to or because someone told her to

    but because she sees absolute no value in being at the bottom of a bottle.

    it’s adorable and wonderful and gives you hope that not only is there God

    but he loves us.