busblog

nothing in here is true

  1. Thursday, January 31, 2019

    today the press secretary said that God wanted trump to be president 

    as you know, im a very handsome fellow.

    is that because God wanted me to be this fine?

    as much as i wish it was the case, the answer, according to the Good Book is nah.

    did God want Adam and Eve to eat from the tree? no, he was pissed about it. did God want the people of the Earth to be so fucked up that he flooded them out? did he want Sodom and Gomorrah? did he want the moneychangers in the temple?

    of course not. Earth isn’t a Barbie Dream House where the same guy who invented a fully functioning heart, self focusing eyes, and skin that regenerates when it’s cut, also wrote a script that we all are forced to play along to.

    how boring would that be for the most common dullard, let alone the man who created photosynthesis.

    even Jesus is shocked when the woman in the crowd touches his hem. Jesus, God himself, walking around Earth is surprised. He’s surprised again on the cross when he cannot believe how long it’s taking to die.

    what part of we are made in his image does the press secretary not understand? like us, God is surprised by things; because, like us, God would rather things happen naturally than him having to micromanage everything; because like us, even if you can convince yourself that you control things on Earth something bizarre happens, like the Cubs winning the World Series.

    how do i know this? the bible. theres not one book in the Old Testament with more divine intervention than Exodus and yet spoiler alert Moses doesn’t make it to the promised land. you don’t think God wanted Moses in the promise land? moses was the face of the Jews. the very same tribe that God said he would deliver into the land of milk and honey. Moses was the one who got to talk to the burning bush, deliver the ten commandments, and truly commune with the Most High. and he’s not invited to Coachella?

    but lets come home to Kings, which is really the only place one should go for guidance in regard to earthly rulers. In Kings we see a parade of both good leaders and bad ones.

    the bad ones were often described like this, “He did what was evil in the sight of the Lord and walked in the way of his father, and in his sin which he made Israel to sin. [1 Kings 15:26]”

    the old like father, like son dilemma, which our president has also been accused of being tangled. a sad patter than occurred before Christ and now after. Papa Trump, according to the failing new york times, did crooked deals to increase his wealth and status, and now President Trump follows in those unfortunate footsteps, but now on a grander scale.

    sorry Sarah, the Lord didn’t want bad kings then. and he doesn’t want them now.

    he didn’t want Aaron to encourage the jews to make the golden calf. he didn’t want Lot’s wife to look back. and he didn’t want me to look this good especially at this age with no hair.

    if he wants anything, he wants us to live our best lives minus the training wheels, cheat codes or stolen emails.

    60 million Americans and a handful of Russians wanted Donald Trump to be President, not God.

    which is why Trump’s too chickenshit to have regular press conferences.

  2. Wednesday, January 30, 2019

    it’s my fault 



    i should have been a teacher. i should have just done what i needed to do when i was in college when i had the chance to be a sub then a real teacher. and i should have done it.

    maybe we all should have done it. but we wanted to live wild lives and meet weird people and not do what would have been better for the country and the world

    and just, day after day, week after week, teach these kids that

    no the world isnt flat

    no the things you see on infowars and fox news arent even close to the truth

    if it snows that doesnt mean theres not crazy ass climate change that future generations are going to hate us for.

    dear future generations: i am sorry. i am very sorry. this planet had its ups and downs but youre fucked and its our fault not yours. im sorry i acted selfishly. im sorry. i really am.

  3. Tuesday, January 29, 2019

    WHY ISNT LIFE HOW IT USED TO BE? 

    as you may know, i run the worlds best howard stern facebook group.

    one of the things that im constantly debtating about is deleting posts that whine that howard isnt the same howard as he was when he was throwing baloney on the asses of strippers or yelling at the FCC or having women sit on a giant vibrating… well… device.

    the same could be said about this blog or me or you or anything. shit changes. get over it.

    i am so blessed that i was invited to be part of the college of creative studies when i was a lad because creativity has been top of my mind for a long time. and especially the dynamic of how creativity changes as we age.

    in music it seems like most artists have a spurt of creativity when they’re young and it dissipates as they get older. listen to Bruce Springsteen’s first three records compared to his last three and a lot of the experimentation is long gone and Bruce is far from the only example of this happening. indeed there seems to be only a few exceptions to this rule

    tom waits, bob dylan, and neil young.

    in rap it seems like only kanye continues to push his own boundaries in dramatic ways but i could be wrong i dont know a lot of hip hop. but lets bring it back to the busblog.

    i know i dont experiment here as i used to. i dont for a million reasons including the fact that i just dont care any more. in the day when blogging was poppin and i would get millions of readers and 40-50 comments on every post i felt like the only way i could compete with alllll the other blogs in the world was to do Anything i could to stay relevant and interesting and vibrant.

    now i am one of the last blogs that does this almost every day.

    so who cares if i do something interesting or “new”, who’s gonna read it?

    and in a way i dont want that many people reading it (murphys law, catch 22) because i dont want to be misunderstood and have that affect my livelihood. its all very complicated.

    now back to howard. im sure at 65 years old theres part of him that wouldnt mind throwing a slice of luncheon meat at someone from time to time, but i think he’s gotten that out of his system. and if he does it now people will complain and say he has run out of ideas. you can never win.

    but you can.

    you win by doing. you win by going to work every day (or in his case 3x a week) and putting out a show and relating to people and connecting to people and doing the damn thing. dancing with the one you brung ya.

    last night i was reading about HBO and how now that they are owned by AT&T have all this extra money and they wanna compete with Netflix. and i thought maybe i should try to work with someone to bring Howard a Charlie Rose type interview show thats just a big round table and Howard and a guest. Letterman did a short version of this for Netflix, but America knows Dave as a great interviewer, not everyone knows that Howard is even better.

    and i thought, someone has probably tried to get howard to do it but for whatever reason thats not his thing. what is his thing? painting? he loves to paint. so maybe get howard to interview great artists for a month. then the next month SNL alumns. then musicians. it could be a whole thing that compliments his work on radio.

    so the question is, do i know a producer who could help me with this?

    the answer is. yes i probably do.

  4. Monday, January 28, 2019

    sleeping is over rated 


    as are the Brewers. imagine you host a fan fest… a convention for all your fans to come to celebrate the team, get autographs, buy crap, get up close and personable.

    but then imagine that even though theyre wearing uniforms with numbers on them you also need them to use nametags.

    poor poor milwaukee

    cubs fans terrorize them. they flock up there for cubs games. it’s only a 90 mile drive. it’s closer than isla vista is to hollywood.

    brewers knocked the cubs out of the playoffs this year, then lost to the dodgers, who then lost to the red sox.

    but the cubs were hurt and the brewers played perfectly. which wont happen again. which is why they’re more salty about the cubs than vice versa.

    ok 6am, time for bed

  5. Friday, January 25, 2019
  6. Thursday, January 24, 2019

    sonny i la vista who’s that 

    thats him.

    thats me?

    thats you.

    thats true.

    thats him?

    that’s me.

    i’ll be.

    the isla vista part we get, but why sonny? its usually foggy there.

    bc its not about sunny its about sonny

    the least talked about springsteen character of all time for some reason

    sonny?

    sonny.

    I got a ’69 Chevy with a 396
    Fuelie heads and a Hurst on the floor
    She’s waiting tonight down in the parking lot
    Outside the 7-Eleven store
    Me and my partner Sonny built her straight out of scratch
    And he rides with me from town to town
    We only run for the money, got no strings attached
    We shut ’em up and then we shut ’em down
    Tonight, tonight the strip’s just right
    I want to blow ’em off in my first heat
    Summer’s here and the time is right
    For racin’ in the street

    We take all the action we can meet
    And we cover all the northeast state
    When the strip shuts down we run ’em in the street
    From the fire roads to the interstate
    Some guys they just give up living
    And start dying little by little, piece by piece,
    Some guys come home from work and wash up,
    And go racin’ in the street

    Tonight, tonight the strip’s just right
    I want to blow ’em all out of their seats
    Calling out around the world, we’re going racin’ in the street

    I met her on the strip three years ago
    In a Camaro with this dude from L.A.
    I blew that Camaro off my back,
    And drove that little girl away,
    But now there’s wrinkles around my baby’s eyes
    And she cries herself to sleep at night
    When I come home the house is dark
    She sighs, “baby did you make it all right?”
    She sits on the porch of her daddy’s house
    But all her pretty dreams are torn,
    She stares off alone into the night
    With the eyes of one who hates for just being born


    For all the shut down strangers and hot rod angels,
    Rumbling through this promised land
    Tonight my baby and me, we’re gonna ride to the sea
    And wash these sins off our hands

    Tonight, tonight the highway’s bright
    Out of our way, mister, you best keep
    ‘Cause summer’s here and the time is right
    For racin’ in the street

  7. today we went into a true discount store 

    they had like five or six racks outside their door with clothes for $2 and $5. so i went in.

    amber stayed out front because she was in heaven. the store was named something in spanish.

    i do not know spanish.

    i see racks of pajama bottoms. my favorite. everythings $3. i get two pairs that look like they should have always been that price, but one of the tags is still on it and says $32. are you kidding?

    but then i go the wall. i see shirts. i am up to my nostrils in shirts but i see a tag on the shirts too. all walmart tags that say $9. these people are selling them for $3.

    imagine youre a shirt and somehow all the customers of walmart pass on you. impossible you say? this shirt says $4 now.

    still not cheap enough for me.

    todavía no es lo suficientemente barato para mí.

    but i did buy an extra tall curtain, so no crazy ass fools try to peep inside my dreamland.

  8. Tuesday, January 22, 2019

    some dude tried to break into my apartment 

    it was 5am. i was trying to get the Oscar noms on my tv. i use Roku on my sets and i figured the Academy via YouTube would bring it to my biggest screen in the living room.

    when in the window behind the tv i see this dude with a cigarette peering through. my cats noticed too and perked up. even they havent seen people in my little courtyard at that hour… looking in to us.

    he went to the door and you could hear a key or something in the lock. was he trying to pick it? then the door handle rattle.

    i perked up. i said,

    yo this is not the door you want.

    it rattled again. i said.

    i WILL BLOW THAT FUCKING DOOR DOWN BEFORE I LET YOU IN

    dude logic. i was improvising.

    he kept fiddling with it and i got my baseball bat and called 911. heres why. only thing i have of value in my house is amber and a 5 pack of Old Style. if he’s outside the cops can get him. if he gets inside i want the cops to know the description of the one to bring to jail.

    it took a suprisingly long time to explain to the operator what was happening. she asked all these detailed questions like weight. who am i, a circus freak on the midway? its dark and hes wearing a black leather jacket. he could have a six pack or a pony keg in there. i just hope he doesnt have a gun.

    then it took a suprsingly long time for the cops to come. half the oscar noms were announced. spike lee was probably already picking out which sneakers he was gonna be wearing for oscar sunday.

    when they did come they crossed paths with him but because he was carrying a guitar case and mumbling that he was waiting to get an uber they let him pass by.

    they got to my door and i said, thats him.

    they looked at me as if to say, waiting on an uber is the get out of jail free card.

    i asked, is it against the law to try to break into a house? cop said yeah. but no one was arrested.

    and now ive gotta see a melissa mccarthy movie where she isnt trying to make me laugh?

    my neighbor texted me today saying he owes me a steak because the drunk was his friend i said make it two steaks i nearly killed him.

    he said bet.

  9. Monday, January 21, 2019

    happy mlk day 

    what most non americans probably dont realize is even though mlk day is a national holiday and everyones supposed to have the day off,

    for some reason a whole lot of america still has to work on mlk day.

    in 1999 there was still four states that refused to acknowledge the holiday. the only reason arizona observed it starting in late 1993 is because they lost the Super Bowl in early 1993 because no one wanted the big game in a state so racist they would rather not have a fucking day off.

    both amber and i had the day off this year, which was a treat because i was able to sleep in and we casually got it together and eventually made it out into the world. it was really windy, a little cold, but traffic wasn’t terrible. still way more cars than there should have been.

    my belief is most people don’t get the day off unless they have a federal or state gig. and thats sad. what more does a guy have to do for people to really just give it up to him?

    ironically, heres what i want to do next year. i want to drive around LA from 9am to 5pm and talk to people and see if they got the day off. i’ll leave their employers out of it because im not trying to shame anyone. i just want to show people how weird it is that we have a day off for a black hero, maybe the black hero, and people have to take a PTO day if they want it off, or they have to lie by calling in sick, or… they just work.

    some holiday.

  10. Saturday, January 19, 2019

    my favorite magazine, black webmaster called me 

    they wanted to interview me for their 50 over 50 issue. i was all, wtf.

    they said anyone over 50 in IT grew up without the internet, without cell phones, and without very good computers, and still ended up in tech.

    that was interesting to them.

    i said, I KEEP TELLING YOU IM NOT REALLY IN TECH. but they never listen.

    Black Webmaster: What makes a good team?

    busblog: a good team usually has a strong but flexible leader, and a variety of people who can do multiple things well. and the best teams communicate well, trust each other and like one another.

    BW: How do you get a team to like each other?

    busblog: if it’s truly a team they will love each other naturally. being successful helps.

    BW: You are known for being brutally honest. Did you ever wish you were White?

    busblog: maybe it was different for me since we were the only black family in town, but from an early age i recognized the advantages that i had over my friends. and even though my relatives taught me what to look out for from others, they were from the South, and those things weren’t happening where we lived outside Chicago. what i did envy was long hair.

    BW: Long hair?

    busblog: i thought it looked cool. maybe the movies and tv shows were convincing me that it was cool, but i bought into it. i do remember wanting long hair when i was a kid. that changed when i was at my first boy/girl party. 6th grade. a bunch of girls cornered me right after we played spin the bottle. one after another they wanted to feel my afro. 6-7 of the prettiest girls in school playing with your hair and noone else’s will do wonders for you. i never wanted a haircut again. and i never wanted to be anything but me.

    BW: That sounds good but, that’s hard to believe.

    busblog: i had this uncle, he reminded me of Snoop Dogg before there ever was a Snoop Dogg. coolest dude ever, in my eyes. his life ended tragically but when he was alive he would drive me to the store in his car which had an 8-track and a separate EQ that lit up, especially so at night. One thing that always stuck with me. He said, “don’t ever forget, you have soul.”