nothing in here is true

  1. Tuesday, July 21, 2015
  2. took the night off, which is boring, but i was illin 

    hills housei like to work. i like to be moving. i like to meet people and help people and learn.

    when i was in college i had three jobs. when i moved to frisco i had three jobs.

    during LAist, the Times, and KPCC i had just one job but i spent all night working on those blogs because i was learning. (i also was freelancing with the xbi on occasion if they begged)

    now i only have two jobs. which is fine. im older. i need to learn how to relax. which is tough. because when i relax i fall asleep.

    so last night as you know my hands and back were hurting so i went out to the pool and put casablanca on the tv and just watched the moon and bogey do their thing.

    i felt like i was retired. i feel asleep outside. i barely touched my food. it didnt feel right. i like to be out there. whats the use of being in LA if youre not gonna be out there?

    if youre not gonna be out there why not just move to oregon where the land is cheap(er) and the homes are bigger and you can grow weed legally?

    but this morning my hands and my back feel better and im rested and the cats were happy to see me and jeanine was happy i was around and alls well.

    i do plan on seeing my doctor though because i feel like im too young for arthritis and i would hate to think that im actually hurting myself driving a freaking car.

    as if!

  3. Monday, July 20, 2015

    i am hurt, i am hurting, but it’s ok 

    white onlymy fingers, my wrists, even my back is all

    notice us, notice us, notice us.

    i put icy hot on my hands and arms, i have these great elastic sleeves i put on my arms

    but i lost one because im a slob.

    so i just alternate the one back and forth like a hobo.

    it only hurts when i drive which is sad because as you know i love driving.

    maybe i need a back support dealie. maybe i need under armour. maybe i need new arms.

    my cigarette lighter doesnt work any more. youd think the cigarette lighter in a mercedes would never break. its the thing that charges my cell phone as im driving.

    gas prices here in LA are at record highs.

    basically the entire universe is telling me not to drive but who’s going to be keira-anne’s tour guide.

    i can tour guide for tops three days a year and then i get burned out.

    on paper i could write the most amazing tour book about LA but not only dont i want to but it would be bizarre, filled mostly with various fast food establishments

    places to buy bukowski books

    and every movie theater and former record store in town.

    fine, i’ll write it.

  4. it was hot and rainy so i saw three movies 

    ant-manAnt-Man, Irrational Man, and Trainwreck

    Ant-Man was a surprisingly funny Marvel super hero film that stars Paul Rudd as an unlikely leader among ants.

    Crazy premise co-starring Michael Douglas and Evangeline Lily of Lost.

    I liked it more than the typical Marvel movies because this one had a sense of humor along with it’s typical shoot em up action.

    Irrational Man was sort of a disappointment because it is Woody Allen’s latest starring Joaquin Phoenix, my girlfriend Emma Stone and my other girlfriend Parker Posey. sooooo much talent on the screen and yet Woody mailed this one in. so sad.

    in a way it’s a reverse murder mystery which is sorta interesting on paper but we play the game between the lines.

    It would have been more interesting if Joaquin’s character had a little depth, if he changed a little, and if Emma Stone’s character would have been a little less predictable. Parker, weirdly, had a lot more to work with.

    Also the music was lacking. I think I heard the same little jazz riff five times. I thought you loved jazz, Woody.

    Trainwreck was the best of the three. Amy Schumer wrote and starred in this film that was directed by Judd Apatow. Perfect combination. Co-stars Lebron James, Bill Hader and a long list of former SNL regulars.

    Very funny, very raunchy. But the climatic scene had many of us thinking the same thing Bill Hader’s character says “you dont have to do this.”

    Why Apatow and Schumer thought it was necessary to put such a tired Act 3 in a movie that broke down so many stereotypes is confusing and disappointing.

    But whatever, it was a movie starring a female who isn’t defined by falling in love with a successful, basically perfect man.

    Oh wait.

  5. Sunday, July 19, 2015

    you wanna make me laugh? tell me what i can do on the busblog 


    true story: today someone auditioned to be the editor of this blog.

    they were all: you stop writing about me this instant!

    i was like: OMG LOL ROFL

    this blog has been around for centuries. maybe longer. ive done everything possible with this thing

    IMG_0564except one: let someone else decide shit here.

    my mom, the person i love the most in life, she has notes about the world famous

    she tells them to me all the time “you seem too sad” “why do you swear so much?” “will you please stop writing about the xbi?” “was that really the best photo you could have used?”


    and i listen to her say the words but i tell her ma i put nothing in here is true for you. you and you only. now its for you and you mostly. and i love her and i want her to be proud of me but no way can she be the executive editor of this.

    so imagine when someone who is not my mother today not just asked but demanded that i do or not do something in this semi holy text? JUST IMAGINE!

    dear person: you are ill. you are not thinking right. you know what you need to do and you wont do it.

    it is not kill yourself. it is not act a fool. it is not avoid.

    it is go to the place where they cure what you have and get it cured.

    here are three things that you should not say to yourself about why you cant be cured

    1. bullshit about time

    2. malarkey about money

    3. anything about me

    a year ago almost to this day we saw young jeanine whine and bitch and scream and freak out and the two things she went on and on about were regarding to time and money

    jimi and the monkeesthe lamest excuses the devil could ever put in our mouths.

    and we did not listen to her. why? because she was being a crazy person who didnt really have a job and didnt really have a place to live and the world would be better and she would be better if she just did the right thing and jump into rehab. (which she did, thank god, praise Jesus)

    well you, would-be busblog editor, are in the same boat. thats not a real job for someone your age and for sure thats not a real place to live.

    which are not insults meant to hurt, those are observations from the world laser beamed to your heart via the busblog, purveyor of truth disguised as delicious poetry.

    where you are is not where you think you are. you are in a very bad place and you are having a spotlight shined on it and boo hoo too bad, so what, now what

    go: to the place: to get: cured.

    you are being boring and typical and cliche and you are better than that.

    you have seen the light and now you are turning your back on it. that is not only disrespectful but borderline sinful.

    babies cry in heaven when they even hear that this is going on down here.

    stop it. this minute. fix it. fucking fix it. go to the place and take on the issue that causes the issue and you will be free to do the scariest thing you have been avoiding for a decade:

    your actual fucking life.

    and to hell with everyone you know who is not saying the same.

    they are not on your team.

    this is the word of the busblog.

  6. the cats were all, hey why are there bars on the windows 

    freedom frames

    i was like, those arent bars, those are Freedom Frames.

    jeanine is staying with me now for a little while.

    the place she was subletting mysteriously had a problem with subleasing once the main tenant reneged on the deal. will jeanine get the balance of her rent back? probably not.

    when people are on the spiral down, and know the correct decision is rehab, often those people refuse to take the correct route until things have completely fallen apart.

    as long as other people are paying your rent, it’s tough to completely fall apart.

    thats one of the lessons i learned the last time jeanine was crashing on my couch.

    now almost exactly a year later, she is fully recovered, working, vibrant, alive, coherent, and sparkling new.

    it’s a joy to have her back here. the cats feel the same way.

    huge shoutout to the Clare foundation, the state federal government for subsidizing programs like theirs, and Bill the founder AA.

  7. Friday, July 17, 2015

    are you tired of these uber stories yet? 

    poutine rufflestoo bad.

    yesterday i did two rides after work and hit my goal and went home.

    the first were this lovely couple in a rich part of town.

    because the gas prices are so high a lot of uber drivers arent driving and i dont blame them. it cost me $57 to fill up yesterday and i wasnt even on E when i got gas (i usually fill up at 1/4 E because of earthquakes).

    and because there are fewer ubers on the road it was surging. and when it surges, uber plus drivers take the bait and take uber x calls. i was almost one of those drivers when i got pinged by these nice rich people who had brought an expensive bottle of wine to enjoy with their meal.

    we got on the 10 and fought traffic to get to DTLA to a fancy restaurant. but first we had to traverse through skid row which was interesting to them, but not delightful. how could it be?

    it took 35 minutes to go 12 miles. not bad considering it was rush hour. Uber charged them $48, I got about $33, xtx.

    i like being downtown at 7-8pm because theres still business people down there. the surge was way over and i drove down 6th to figueroa and got nothing so i looked on my passenger app and saw there were no uber plus cars by the bonneventure hotel and boom there was a parking spot so i got in there, turned off the car and checked my email.

    before i was able to make it through all the fan mail i got beeped by a businessman at the standard.

    picked him up, he was going to the airport.

    as always i said, “is the jazz ok or would you like something else?”

    he was a very serious guy so i was a bit shocked when he said, “jazz sucks”.

    ahahaha i laughed. well youre the boss, i said, what would you like to hear.

    we listened to heavy metal and talked football.

    just shows to go ya, you can never assume anything in this world.

    dropped him off for his red eye, called jeanine to see what she was up to as i drove through south central back home. satisfied.

  8. Thursday, July 16, 2015

    i had a great day driving yesterday – what a relief 

    tumblr_misodrzJ451qbuwpuo1_500my work had a summer picnic, an anual affair, i even won a pair of expensive sunglasses at the raffle.

    filled up with bbq, ice cream, and pop i hit the road a little earlier than normal and the gods were with me

    almost every ride i took led to another ride.

    not super long ones, except one to LAX with someone who wouldnt reveal who they were, but he loved the jazz i was playing so that was nice.

    usually people will open up to me right away and i learn where they are from, what they do, their social security numbers, etc.

    others are either very very private or very involved with their phones and offer up little info.

    the latter are very rare. out of ten rides, eight will tell me everything. the number is higher with uber x.

    one young lady yesterday totally loved me and i loved her right back. infact if i wasnt on such a roll i would have gone hiking with her as she lived right next to runyon and had never gone there (!) she was new in town from NYC and ran into some bad luck with flakey roommates and flakier so-called bffs.

    she came here with her friends but then they bailed on her leaving her on her own in a city she knew little about.

    22. adorable. a few tattoos. i picked her up at whole foods – something most drivers would never do because it almost always guarantees a short ride back to their house to drop off their groceries. but i got lucky, she wanted to run a few errands and didnt have a car, so she ordered uber plus? a mercedes? what?

    one of the stops was to go to this deli because they had this special milk. i think it was persian milk. she had a little exotic flavor to her.

    sometimes strangers can just click and she and i clicked and even though she was a sorta femme fatale on one hand (no friends, no job, no schooling) she was also shopping at expensive places and buying weird things. anyways usually id offer my phone number, but im a million years old. ive had enough of the 22 year olds. no matter how smart they are.

    and funny.

    and pretty.

    enjoy LA on your own, just like i did. no one saved me. i came here alone. went to ucsb alone. ended up ok.

    you can too.

  9. Wednesday, July 15, 2015

    an argument for copy and pasting from other sites on the web 

    tsar band girls moneywhen i was at the LAT there were some people who would get very uptight if blogs or other websites would copy and paste our copyrighted content and put it on their sites.

    but as i briefly went through this post about Tsar’s second album, Band, Girls, Money, which came out 10 years ago this week, I noticed that hardly any of the links worked any more.

    which made me glad that i copy and pasted the rave reviews from a decade ago because they wouldnt exist any more.

    if publishers are going to continue to be irresponsible about preserving their work, why should bloggers and others link to them assuming the content will be up there forever?

    the odds are that blogs, not professional sites, will have the content up longer. and isnt the point of all of this to honor the work?

    with that said, if anyone wants to copy and paste any of my genius in the busblog, go for it. i cant predict what will happen ten years from now. even though this blog has been up since 2001, there have been times when some of it has fallen off the server because of previous CMS issues and hosting problems.

    so what a better way to keep the messages and ideas alive than to have some sort of redundancy.

    because, after all, what Billboard, the LA Weekly and other outlets thought about Tsar 10 years ago DOES matter and our children’s children should know about it even if i get hit by a bus and this domain lapses into (greater) obscurity.

    with that said, holy crap, BAND GIRLS MONEY IS 10 YEARS OLD?!?!?! MAMA MIA!

    i remember being very excited that Tsar had decided that their self titled debut, while being lovely, was a little soft due to the production and the fact that Disney wanted to see if the hard rock band would become more popular if they mellowed it all out a smidge.

    the followup, B-G-M, was the opposite of soft. it was balls to the wall rock music. even the lyrics had edge. it was the dual guitar attack that we all saw in the small clubs from Spaceland to Hell’s Gate and there it was on wax, er, plastic. and it was beautiful.

    while the debut was baby blue with clouds, this one was BLACK (with a hint of pink as a nod to their glam influences). BUT IT WAS BLACK. and funny and fast and rocking.

    this is the record i play the most when i play Tsar and I can’t believe it’s a decade old.