nothing in here is true

  1. Friday, April 4, 2014
  2. for being so well read i havent read much 


    but one book i loved was Vurt about some crazy ass shhh over in London and one of the parts is about taxi cabs

    i think if uber ever goes out of business or the supreme court says it’s unconstitutional i’ll just be a cabbie

    anyway in Vurt the author Jeff Noon, just randomly throws out this idea of all the cabbies

    being plugged into the vibe of the city and annoying dudes get into my car, loud, in groups

    well dressed, ragging on each other playfully and somewhat mean-ish

    and they ask me where the partys at and i tell them hollywood but they wanna stay downtown

    and its like, dude, im plugged in, i know where the partys at, and the after party

    but even when i show them that pizza is one two three blocks away they dont tip me after i waited for them

    way too long.

    so you know maybe its ok that theyre in dtla at a bar where no girls ever are

    been drinking enough anyways.

    one thing Vurt tells you though: trust the system, it will bring you the rider you need at the right moment


    picked up a guy who was friends with the psychic to the stars but he never divulges who his customers are

    because hes professional, g, and that would be breaking confidentiality.

    but we figured it out. some of them at least.

    bro was saying how psycics dreamhouse cost $10 million.

    if a million dollar house’s mortgage is $4,000 a month, which is insane, then a ten million dollar crib

    is $40k – every month. for a house. doesnt anyone watch cosmos? dont you know we are a speck in the solar system

    and our solar system is a speck in the galaxy? and our galaxy is just one of millions

    and not only does none of it matter, but your house matters the least

    unless its oozing with love.

    ive picked up the prettiest people from some of the coolest homes who have some of the ugliest hearts.

    the entire spectrum rolls in LA.

    and then some folks pop out of these average looking apartments or street corners or bars

    and you can tell their houses overflow with love

    because theyve got some smeared on their collar hold still

    and their energy is contagious and never ending


    but not everyones totally bad. none of us are.

    speeding down skid row with the business suits, one of them said something mean about the homeless on 6th street

    and, god bless em, another one of the guys spoke up saying, thats not cool man.

    and the dude tried to follow it up with another lame line

    and the guy repeated again, thats not even cool. shut up.

    someone realized those are actual people are living in boxes and little tents and cardboard shacks

    not even four blocks from money money money things things things

    all these buildings are going up in DTLA, one of them will be the tallest west of chicago

    for people who already have homes.

    this is probably the only speck in the galaxy that builds houses next door to homeless people

    and wont build a few extra stories so they can live in them too.

    we were born for magic.

    and oozing love.

    but we get so distracted.

    sorry, i get so

  3. Thursday, April 3, 2014

    mark was in town so he said lets have dinner with jeanine 


    so i was all, well we’ve gotta go eat sushi then cuz its right by her house.

    huge mistake because he was coming from los feliz, and i was coming from the miracle mile

    going that way in rush hour was a challenge but i thought about you the whole way so it wasnt bad

    and i listened to the cubs game.

    and i listened to Mr Little Jeans whose record just came out


    sometimes kanpai is good, sometimes it’s terrific, sometimes it’s really terrific.

    last night it was super great. everything melted in our mouths we couldnt get enough

    they have these coupons on Restaurant.com but the catch is you have to spend twice as much as the coupon

    so i had to order two rolls to go to hit our number and the total, tax included was $75

    so i added an extra $20 tip because peter is the best and i was out of there paying for three of us

    for under $100, it was amazing.

  4. Wednesday, April 2, 2014
  5. the rain is coming down and its nice because its rare 


    its also cold and windy and not at all like april in LA its more like december but whatevs

    it’ll be over by sunrise.

    it’s 1:22am and this pretty girl was worrying about life the universe and everything

    10150002_10152302045543057_390509881_ncosmos was on and she was all, wow if the universe is really that big then we are seriously worthless.

    if we are a speck of dust on a speck of dust surrounded by millions of other specks

    in world of specks, then who cares?

    the rain hadn’t come down yet but it was fixin to.

    i said theres a few things we can do with this information: we can let it bum us out

    or we can say wow out of all of those specks, we’re the only ones

    with pants.

    we’re the only ones with taco bell.

    which means, we might be the only one that God really does pay attention to.

    i said, i bet there are thousands of planets that God really digs for one reason or another

    like maybe one is really pretty or one is really smart

    but computers were really just starting to take off in the 80s and boom ten years later so many people had the internet

    thats almost as smart as pants.


    theres a leak by my fridge and when it rains i have to make sure the bucket it under the leak.

    i have a little flashlight back there just for nights like these where ive gotta adjust the bucket

    because its near the fridge it means its also near the freezer

    so i came back with two bowls of ice cream.

    and a can of whipped cream.

    fuckers on planet zip aint made no whipped cream outta a can, i said.

    and we turned off cosmos for the night.

  6. Tuesday, April 1, 2014

    other night i ended up in hermosa and rancho pv, tonight it was santa monica 


    and venice. where i picked up bro who stepped into my car and was all

    dude, im so faded.

    sat right next to me.

    we cut through an alley in venice and zig zagged until ocean park and aimed for smc.

    he asked where i was from. like right away. it must have been my cubs hat.

    when youve lived in cali for most of your life, talking about chicago is all about the past

    its safe. its the furthest thing from talking about your sorest subject: the xbi undercover superhero company

    aka uc isla vista.

    bro goes where you from? i said, ive lived here for thirty years.

    he doesnt reek of weed. he sounds weird but that could be anything. is he part native american?

    he said, yeah but where are you from.

    i said shhhh cah go.

    the radio alerted me via a message on the nav that led zeppelin was about to play on a different station.

    i clicked yes on the screen and as we talked “thats the way” played in the back


    bro said he goes to chicago about every three weeks or so.

    for business. he likes the weather. enjoys appreciating summer.

    sure he was young and had a strange accent but he really didnt seem all that “faded”


    he started getting almost emotional about isla vista.

    yes, he too was a gaucho. is a gaucho.

    and a real one.

    he expressed some guilt about the women he dated and it was super sweet.

    i said heres the best thing about leaving isla vista. which is something he felt the need to do.

    i said, the best is using all the great things youve learned.

    when we stopped he said i want to give you a tip, can you please flip on the light?

    and heres another thing ive learned about driving the uber:

    have change.

    some people just get inspired and want to give you money but theyre not gonna give you a $20

    even if theyre faded.


    earlier in the night i remembered that this AA meeting happens at a church near the beach.

    and around the time i figured the meeting would let out, i made my way there

    because how nice would it be to have an uber waiting for you after a meeting if you have a dui

    i sat and cleaned the car a little, picking up the trash, straightening the floor mats

    cleaning the seats.

    while listening to baseball.

    got a beep to go towards the palisades and when the guy got in he asked what game is that

    i said, its opening day, who cares what game it is, i think its the angels

    and we drove off and talked about the super sonics

    and how excellent their uniforms were.

  7. Monday, March 31, 2014

    kisses are a better fate than wisdom 


    since feeling is first
    who pays any attention
    to the syntax of things
    will never wholly kiss you;
    wholly to be a fool
    while Spring is in the world

    my blood approves
    and kisses are a better fate
    than wisdom
    lady i swear by all flowers. Don’t cry
    —the best gesture of my brain is less than
    your eyelids’ flutter which says

    we are for each other: then
    laugh, leaning back in my arms
    for life’s not a paragraph

    and death i think is no parenthesis

    - ee cummings


  8. i had a full weekend 


    drove till 3am on both friday and saturday night

    hiked saturday afternoon with bree, then ate great seafood

    drove up to valencia for a lovely mini nexus reunion

    where it turned out ive gotta save the world, nbd

    went to little joys 1 year anniversary

    and somehow last night i was home for most of the night, never turned on the tv

    and read the bible for an hour like a good man should

    and was met with this intense way for God to punish King Jehoram for being a prick:

    2nd Chronicles, chapter 21

    18 And after all this the Lord smote him in his bowels with an incurable disease. 19 In course of time, at the end of two years, his bowels came out because of the disease, and he died in great agony. His people made no fire in his honor, like the fires made for his fathers. 20 He was thirty-two years old when he began to reign, and he reigned eight years in Jerusalem; and he departed with no one’s regret. They buried him in the city of David, but not in the tombs of the kings.

    maybe this is why you dont know any dudes named Jehoram?

    lesson: live a life in which when you die, your people will wanna make a fire in yr honor

  9. Sunday, March 30, 2014

    i want this poster 

    katie and ali

    katie and ali are lovely young ladies and yet this picture both fills me with joy and a tiny bit of dread

    joy because if youve ever hung with either of these women you’d know how fun they are

    and how much love they have for great music.

    dread because the shirt katie is wearing (probably ironically) is from a concert i saw

    (probably before she was born) in Long Beach of Iron Maiden

    that was later released on record (cassette and cd) called “Live After Death”.

    indeed you can hear Bruce Dickinson yell “scream for me Long Beach” (probably ironically)

    during the anthemic “2 Minutes to Midnight”

    why does this give me dread?

    because it makes me feel soooo old.

    and yet lucky, cuz that was a bad ass concert. we were 10th row because my (rich) friend (rob) was obsessed.

    weird fact: Twisted Sister opened and insulted some kids for not standing up for their (lame) set.

    Dee Snyder had the spotlight guy aim the beam at them in the cheap seats

    and try to get the crowd to chant “F You” at the longhaireds

    the crowd also wanted TS to get off the stage so none of us complied

    and the stoners just flipped off the make-up faced singer and they finally stopped.

    and then darkness… and then Eddie appeared on stage.

    and the rest is why pretty girls wear that tshirt a million years later (hopefully)

  10. Friday, March 28, 2014