busblog

nothing in here is true

  1. Saturday, January 28, 2017

    and now, Dan Rather 

    Today I shed a tear for the country I know and love, the one I believe still beats in the heart of most of its citizens.

    The United States became the most powerful nation in the history of mankind not merely on the basis is its fearsome military, as lethal and well trained as that may be. It wasn’t solely based on its unprecedented economic engine, as dynamic and far-reaching as that may be. America’s greatness was forged by a Constitutional compact of grand and universal ideals that the country has tried to live up to ever since.

    For generations, we have been an imperfect but vital beacon of freedom to a world too often wandering and failing in moral confusion. But that ultimate strength has dimmed considerably in light of the recent actions on immigration from the new President Donald Trump. We are turning around desperate refugees. We are singling out men, women, and children on the basis of their faith – and we are doing all of this with a randomness and capriciousness that defies reason.

    A colleague of mine used the term “heartless” to describe so much ot the President’s executive actions. Sadly, I found it an apt and dispiriting diagnosis—especially when faced with the results of his executive order on immigration. For over the years, I have seen that our greatest American leaders extol empathy rather than condemnation. They have known that in a complicated world, it is best to make policy choices with a scalpel – not a hacksaw. Sometimes, when our national security is threatened at the level of World War II, all-out conflict is the only recourse. But those instances are by far the exception.

    From Vietnam, to the Iraq War, from Japanese internment camps to the centuries-long persecution on the basis of race and ethnicity that almost toppled our democratic experiment, broad strokes channeling our least compassionate and most jingoistic impulses have always made us weaker rather than stronger.

    Today, in the wake of his one-man decision to wreck and reverse immigration policy so suddenly, there is chaos and confusion mixed with heartbreak and fear. A well thought-out, measured overhaul of immigration policy, with organized-in-advance measures to implement that is one thing—and one that perhaps a majority of Americans would support, But this mess, created overnight, is quite another. With this, we have embolden our enemies who want to see nothing else than to compete in a world of moral relativism. In the Cold War, our struggles over civil rights fed into the propaganda of the Soviet Union – as our new actions fuel the extremism Mr. Trump claims to be attacking.

    Too many people during the campaign explained away Mr. Trump’s irresponsible rhetoric as metaphors and euphemisms. These are not concepts he understands. Serious foreign policy experts know that this is a boon for our enemies and undermines our democratic principles. But too many Republican leaders in Congress, even ones that denounced the Muslim ban during the campaign, stand by cheering it now. History will mark their names, as it marks this moment.

    This will be challenged in the courts, who may very well strike it down. But damage, real damage, has been done to our global image. I believe Vladimir Putin is smiling, and would-be global powers like China see a vacuum forming that they will be eager to fill.

    I still remain optimistic that the vast majority of American people will recoil and speak out at this unwise policy. But whether we like it or not, as the detentions and impediments already springing up make all too real, this is the stated de facto policy of the United States today. Every day that it goes on, every day the chaos, confusion and heartbreak deepens, America loses more pieces of its soul and standing in the world.

    — Dan Rather

  2. Thursday, January 26, 2017

    goat head 

    every day we wake up and

    that fool

    hasn’t blown this whole galaxy up in flames

    is a blessed day.

    had a terrible toothache yesterday.

    it had been lingering for the last few days.

    still i can feel it but its better.

    had to go to the dentist yesterday after lunch.

    cute babe in the waiting room was flipping through a marijuana magazine.

    i was all, they subscribe to this here now?

    she said it’s mine and winked.

    i asked whats your favorite strain

    she goes, oh i don’t smoke, i just like to read about it and look at the pictures.

    in LA you never know if theres a hidden camera somewhere, especially in waiting rooms.

    so i picked up the sports illustrated.

    she asked, do you have a favorite strain?

    i said the Princess Sleia, unless im trying to go to sleep and then its the Bitch McConnell.

    got in the dentist chair, dentist poked around a little, his assistant got the machine that pumps out

    ozone (!)

    they ozoned my tooth, prodded, scraped, x rayed, and visualized it

    they gave me a nice pokin stick, some oil, and a plastic syringe to shoot salt water at it.

    and sent me on my way.

    total charge $13 because insurance doesnt pay for ozone for some reason.

  3. Wednesday, January 25, 2017

    RIP Mary Tyler Moore 

    Who can turn the world on with her smile?
    Who can take a nothing day, and suddenly make it all seem worthwhile?
    Well it’s you girl, and you should know it
    With each glance and every little movement you show it

    Love is all around, no need to waste it
    You can never tell, why don’t you take it
    You’re gonna make it after all
    You’re gonna make it after all

    How will you make it on your own?
    This world is awfully big, girl this time you’re all alone
    But it’s time you started living
    It’s time you let someone else do some giving

    Love is all around, no need to waste it
    You can never tell, why don’t you take it
    You might just make it after all
    You might just make it after all

  4. Tuesday, January 24, 2017

    i made it 

    i woke up at 3am

    got in the shower around 3:20am

    got to work at 4am

    was eating delicious bacon at 4:13am

    we started our noms around 5:15am

    all was well

    now im exhausted

    we saw the sun rise

    everyone was happy

    everyone said how great everyone was

    someone said how many people saw it

    i said

    1.5 million

    everyone laughed

    now im eating left over eggs and potatoes

    god is good

    life is nice

    now im trying to get my butt back home

    so sleepy.

    soooooo

  5. Monday, January 23, 2017
  6. Sunday, January 22, 2017

    today Ben got married 

    today LA’s favorite son, Ben Sullivan, founder of ScienceBlog.com, soup kitchen hander outer, and all around great guy, got married to equally wonderful Soomi.

    a few weeks ago they took me out to dinner and asked me if i would “speak” at the pre-wedding celebration which was held last night in Kim n Os’s backyard of children and swimming pools. they said i would be the MC of the event which would also include live music from our friends, delicious tacos, and so much booze and friends from literally around the world.

    it was a super special night. the Lord kept the rain from coming down and inspired me to write something that everyone said was good. It was both a tough crowd because they are all amazingly talented writers and an easy crowd because they had been drinking for a good hour before i got the Mr. Microphone.

    here’s a transcript of my sermon/speech/toast thing

    Love love love love love
    All you need is love
    Love is a battlefield
    Love is an elevator
    There’s ups, theres downs. The doors slide open to a new floor, you roam around and you get lost on it. Alone.
    But if you’re lucky either a door opens or you have the courage to knock on one.
    And magic happens.  Love!
    And changes everything.
    You can’t sleep, theres a skip in your step, you’re suddenly singing along to the radio.
    Your fruit punch soda tastes bubblier
    Your burritos taste guacamolier.
    Even the birds in the trees and the barking dogs in the alley seem to be saying fuck yeah buddies.
    Fuck yeah.
    We are in this beautiful backyard tonight to celebrate the bubblier fruit punch soda that is Soomi and Ben.
    We are the birds in the trees who will always be around them as more than just witnesses — but as supporters
    And inspiration, and quiet protection for their special union.
    Not that it’s needed, but because we love them and are inspired ourselves.
    Soomi comes to us from Jin Hay Goo, South Korea in the Dirty South Eastern part of the proud country.
    Jin Hay is known for it’s 10-day Blossom Festival in the Spring when all the pretty girls of town go out to the square with cute little bouquets of blossoms and call out
    Ben?
    Ben?
    Ben?
    Which, weirdly, is Korean for Tony.
    Recently the neighboring cities of Changwon and Masan joined Jin Hay to make a bigger, stronger city
    and in a way that’s whats happening here.
    Benjamin J. Sullivan was born in Staten Island, NY
    true story
    He came to California to sing for Guns n Roses but when he saw Axl in person he was all ok all right.
    But he continued his love of music.
    The other day I asked Ben if there was any song that reminded him of his fiancee? He said Either Cindy Laupler’s True Colors or Brown Eyed Girl by Van Morrison
    He continued:
    Which coincidentally both involve colors. Which may be because “the world before Soomi went from a perfectly acceptable but somewhat muted sepiatone to one that is so much richer and bright, and, well, what’s the synonym for colorful? Whatever it is: that.”
    A few days after that I asked Soomi when did she first have the hots for Ben?
    She said on their third date – somebody was counting – they went to a dinner theater. Dinner Theater? BEN!
    But it was very funny, reportedly, and she was laughing and he was laughing and she looked at him and saw his eyes wrinkled and thought it was adorable.
    Ben says that the thing he loves most about Soomi is her “open heart to others.
    “Those who obviously need it, like the lonely neighbor, or men and women on Skid Row, or the less obvious who need it but whom she can just tell.”
    We all know Ben also has a huge heart, the longtime president of the nicest guy in america competition,
    Soomi says she fell for Ben in an unusual but beautiful way.
    “I sent him a paper my friend had just published on the economics of microbial trade.”
    I had to Google it too. It broke Google.
    But Soomi said, “Ben wrote me back and said ‘when you send me things like this it makes me recognize that I’m more than a little bit in love with you.”
    And she said at that point she couldn’t deny that she was in love with him too.
    Last August they were on vacation. They were going to a fancy seafood restaurant in Carlsbad.
    Soomi said, “He insisted on putting on a coat. When we left the hotel, he was obviously so nervous that he could not make any eye contact with me. So I knew it was probably coming, so I thought I would stay cool up until the time comes.”
    But when he popped the question she was totally overwhelmed.
    Awwwwww.
    Here’s to their champagne always tasting bubblier.
  7. a timeline of Donald Trump lying about releases his taxes 

    the president of the United States, Donald Trump is a big fat liar. Especially when it comes to releasing his taxes.

    Here’s how it went down:

    MSNBC – 2014

    “If I decide to run for office I’ll produce my tax returns. Absolutely,” he said.

    Meet The Press 1/24/16

    “We’re working on that now. I have big returns, as you know, and I have everything all approved and very beautiful and we’ll be working that over in the next period of time,” he says, using words that no one would ever be able to pin him to.

    “This is not, like, a normal tax return,” he, like, brags, but then admits something most politicians should be shameful about. “I try to pay as little tax as possible because I hate what they do with my tax money.”

    GOP Debate, Houston 2/25/16

    “As far as my return, I want to file it, except for many years, I’ve been audited every year,” Trump says. “Twelve years or something like that. Every year, they audit me, audit me, audit me… I will absolutely give my return, but I’m being audited now for two or three [years’ worth] now so I can’t.”

    IRS Commissioner John Koskinen calls bullshit 2/26/16

    “From our standpoint, if you’re being audited, and you want to do something else, share that information with your returns, you can do that,” Koskinen says, adding that if you are being audited for multiple years at a time, something is truly fishy with your taxes.

    Trump says they probably won’t be revealed before the election 5/11/16

    “There’s nothing to learn from them,” Trump told the AP. He also said he doesn’t believe voters are interested.

    “Now, I hope [the audit] gets finished soon. And if it gets finished soon, I put it out immediately because there’s nothing there. But until you get finished, you won’t,” he said.

    Good Morning America 5/13/16

    George Stephanapaosdpfpiopilous asks him what his tax rate is.

    “It’s none of your business, you’ll see it when I release. But I fight very hard to pay as little tax as possible,” Trump said.

    “I don’t think [the people care], but I do say this: I will really gladly give them. They’re not going to learn anything, but it’s under routine audit,” Trump said. “You learn very little from tax returns.”

    “I’ll tell you right now: I do not. I don’t have Swiss bank accounts, I don’t have offshore, I have a very, very clean company,” Trump said, which of course means he has several Swiss bank accounts, offshore, and a very dirty company. We know this because he has a serious problem being a dirty liar. Especially about his taxes.

    Presidential Debate 9/26/16

    Trump says he will release his taxes if Hillary releases the emails she deleted.

    ABC This Week today/2017

    His senior advisor, who earlier in the day defended lying, told the talk show, “the White House response is that he’s not going to release his tax returns,” Kellyanne Conway said.

    “We litigated this all through the election. People didn’t care,” she said. “They voted for him, and let me make this very clear: Most Americans are very focused on what their tax returns will look like while President Trump is in office, not what his look like.”

    Oh really, Kellyanne? Currently there is a petition with over 100,000 signatures of Americans who think he should release his taxes. Not since 1972 has a presidential candidate refused to reveal his taxes.

  8. Friday, January 20, 2017
  9. Thursday, January 19, 2017

    I did try and fuck her. 

    She was married. I moved on her like a bitch, but I couldn’t get there. And she was married. Then all of a sudden I see her, she’s now got the big phony tits and everything. She’s totally changed her look. I’ve gotta use some Tic Tacs, just in case I start kissing her. You know I’m automatically attracted to beautiful — I just start kissing them. It’s like a magnet. Just kiss. I don’t even wait. And when you’re a star they let you do it. You can do anything… Grab them by the pussy. You can do anything.