nothing in here is true

  1. Monday, March 27, 2017
  2. my problem is i am usually down for a dare 

    and most things are dares.

    there was a time when i would have been to that trump rally

    especially if i was still at LAist.

    or i would have assigned it to someone.

    i would feel sick to my stomach if i sent someone there and this sneering dude

    popped em with his brass knuckles.

    thats why its better off if you just go yourself.

    show em how it’s done for when it’s their time.

    which is comin.


  3. Sunday, March 26, 2017

    sometimes you say fuckit, im eating pancakes in the street 

    expectations are everything

    when you’re a baby you expect your bottom to be dry and your belly to be full.

    if those expectations aren’t met, you cry until things change.

    as we grow, we create unique ways to call bullshit.

    not all of us are imaginative enough to take a tv tray, a fold up chair, pancakes and syrup

    and march out to the street

    and eat those damn pancakes in our night pants

    but ive seen some things.

    i had a girlfriend i loved so much who would call me constantly and just cry and cry.

    theres only so much you can do on the telephone.

    i had a boss at the xbi who would order me to take him up in chopper one

    and just circle LA

    id ask him where he wanted to go and he’d just say

    find evil.

    some nights there was no evil in LA, whattya gonna do.

    so he made some.

    sometimes life is just being there for someone else. someone you dont fully understand but someone who you either have to be around or want to be around.

    but you have no fucking clue whats going on with them.

    i say let them eat their pancakes

    in the damn street.


    it’s a free country.


  4. Friday, March 24, 2017
  5. Thursday, March 23, 2017

    what do you do if you want to see a festival 

    but it’s in san diego

    and fucking LIVE is gonna be there to ruin everything

    but Kesha and Weezer and Janes and Ice Cube and Tom Petty are gonna be there

    and Fishbone and Led Zeppelin 2 (?) and Machine Gun Kelly and Pepper

    AND SHAQ and T-Pain and Garbage are gonna be there

    and it’s just $100 a night

    but screw San Diego.

    in a perfect world id have a girlfriend

    and we’d chill in TJ and cross the border every day

    and drive back down and sip on Mexicokes and fish tacos

    skinny dip in the pacific

    and laugh about Smashmouth

    and fall asleep saying




  6. Wednesday, March 22, 2017
  7. the nice thing about the GOP totally melting down 

    is this is what happens when you put all of your eggs into

    old white dude billionaires

    lack of experience

    fucking liars


    greedy whining dipshits

    and people who lie about omg loving the bible so much

    who btw hate the troops, the elderly, the sick, the poor, minorities, women, the handicapable, and people on healthcare

    the side effects are they are sexist racist homophobes who have massive ties to our enemies and lie about it constantly


    the nice thing about it is tv ratings for news channels are up, newspaper subscriptions are coming back, and

    young people everywhere are seeing first hand that the GOP doesn’t give one fig about anyone other than the very rich, white, anglo saxons

    who enjoy staying that way.

    how so many of Congress can sign up for a healthcare bill that would drop over 20 million americans from being covered is shocking to me

    especially those who consider themselves Christian.

    what is Christian about telling a couple that if they want a baby, they need to pay the hospital $45,000?

    what is Christian about taking away Meals on Wheels?

    what is Christian about doing all of this simply because you have some bizarre political grudge against the previous president who heroically took this nation from the precipice of disaster and saved the auto industry, brought recovery to the economy, and gave millions of people the hope that he promised?

    the best part of all of this is young people are seeing exactly the worst side of a party who never had the average american in its thoughts and prayers.

  8. people should be allowed to do what they want in this life 

    they should be able to love who they want

    wear what they want

    work where they want

    live what they want.

    people should be able to say whatever the fuck they want.

    film what they want

    rock out they way they want

    and get paid off by whoever they want.

    if people want to talk behind peoples back, they should be allowed to.

    if people want to paint their house pink, they should be allowed to.

    if they wanna drive 55, it should be ok

    if they wanna drive 155, people should get outta the way.

    if they wanna play the lottery

    or fantasy baseball

    or satanic verses

    or nursery rhymes, everyone should say fuck yeah nursery rhymes.

    people should not be able to use leaf blowers before noon.

    garbage trucks should not be a thing until 11:30am

    all bars should be open 24 hours a day

    and banks, especially if they insist on being on every corner, should be forced to stay open until 10pm

    and you should be allowed to do DMV activity in there

    and also pay your rent

    and your cable bill.

    there should be free condoms everywhere.

    there should be a pinball machine in every 7-11

    kids should learn about sex and cooking and auto repair

    starting in kindergarten

    if a cop is found guilty of breaking the law,

    they should get double the penalty as a non cop.

    and if a cat is caught pooping inches away from the kitty litter box

    instead of inside of it,

    it should be set free to roam the streets of hollywood

    since it wants to just poop wherever.

    cats should be allowed to poop wherever

    just not in my bachelor pad

    of love.

    and finally,

    if someone wants me to like them back,

    like like-like them back,

    it is extremely easy:

    trust me times a million

    never lie to me

    always do exactly what i say

    never doubt me

    and never cancel on me.

    good things will happen.

    i am not like your stupid dumbass lying ass boyfriends of years gone by.

    i am the busblog.

  9. Tuesday, March 21, 2017

    but tony i love you 

    some people actually do love me and thats sweet.

    it’s hard to believe because i dont see the same person that they see

    to me im still a teenager with a big floppy afro so massive it’s hard to fit a cubs hat over

    im driving around in my grandmas cadillac, windows rolled down, exploring LA for the first time.

    wrong about so many things. but trying to learn.

    even though im so far removed from that, thats how i feel every day and when i see pictures of myself im like who’s grampa is that?

    some things you have control over, some you dont have any.

    so when pretty girls, who you tried week after week after week to have come over to your crib, say they love you, you think to yourself, then why did you make me jump through every hoop there was just to see you for an hour? if you loved me why did you make it so hard? if you loved me, why did everyone else in your life have no problem hanging with you, but for me it was pretty close to impossible?

    the good thing about being as old as dirt is you have actual, real life experience to tap in to. and the best part about being someone who has never been married, is some of that experience revolves around dating.

    and you might know a few things about love.

    when i love someone there are no excuses. i will do everything. there are no obstacles. there are only paths. when i love someone there are no questions, instead a million answers. a variety of solutions. money is not an object, nor is time.

    but when i want to avoid something, there are excuses on excuses on excuses.

    and often there are lies.

    these are the things teenage tony had to learn first hand, the hard way, over years.

    and what old man busblog can write down in seconds.

  10. Monday, March 20, 2017

    dear tony, would you ever move to NYC 

    i feel like everyone should live in either NYC, Chicago, SF, or LA.

    of those i feel so lucky to have spent so much time in LA.

    it’s been incredible to watch it change over the last 30 years.

    id consider moving there if i was making hella money.

    my rent here is right where it should be.

    the only trick to renting is to get in low and stay there. hunker down.

    i got so lucky. so many friends. so much love from Above.

    it would take something very special for me to leave this good thing.

    i suppose i could find myself in another good thing, real estate wise.

    i suppose i could find a big bag of weed in the gutter.

    i suppose a super hot girl out of nowhere could tell me on the phone that she thinks im so good looking

    i suppose i could get a dream job.

    all of these things have happened before.

    why would they ever stop happening

    unless i stopped believing.

    so yes i could move to the top

    of the best building of all

    in nyc if i wanted

    but do i wanna

    is a better