nothing in here is true

  1. Wednesday, September 16, 2015

    ac/dc at wrigley field, the next best thing to a world series win here 

    wrigley field

    if you know me by now you know im remarkably predictable. i am extremely loyal to the people and things that i love. and if i love you im gonna love you forever and ever, through hell and high water. AC/DC has been in my top ten favorite bands since i first heard “dirty deeds” sneering through my junior high school radio.

    so when bob, my friend i’ve known since kindegarden, wrote me to tell me that AC/DC was playing at Wrigley Field, the holiest place i’ve ever been to, i said oh thats nice. he then asked if i wanted a ticket and i hesitated because i had just seen them at Coachella and it was good, but how many times do you have to see them in a year?

    the answer is: as many times as they play Wrigley Field, dummy.

    so i flew in monday, took a train out of the burbs on tuesday and as i got near the park i texted Bob who was pre-partying with our friend Rick and asked where should i meet you guys.

    and bob said, at the corner of clark and addison in front of the Ernie Banks statue

    rick bob and me at wrigley

    and it was on.

    the weather was perfect, none of us had ever looked more handsome. the Cubs were in first place (practically) an angus was about play some of our favorite tunes for us.

    rick reminded me that his first concert was with me, my sister, and her friend Nikki – ac/dc’s for those about to rock at the rosemont horizon. and he hadnt seen them since! say what? i had seen them maybe 4-5 other times. maybe more.

    and i must say, im super glad Bob motivated and got tickets because this was the best show id seen them do since my first one, Back in Black where my mom just dropped me off alone at the Rosemont, I sat in the 14th row and my soul was saved by rock n roll.

    our seats

    this show, everyone was telling me, was the hottest ticket in chicago. scalpers were getting 2x and 3x the face value. bob joked that we were up in the nosebleeds, but Wrigley is so small that even that was fine. and whats best is the beer vendors are allowed to walk around and serve you at your seats. so when you wanna pee you just pee in the cup and give it back to them. recycling!

    jk, you pee on the sox fans. great tshirts

    almost everyone had AC/DC shirts. almost everyone was singing to all of the songs.

    almost everyone was drinking a beer out of a cup that said Cubs.

    almost everyone was way in to it in a way that i havent seen in a VERY long time in LA.

    i mean, 30,000 people totally cheering and singing during the opening tune “Rock Or Bust” the title track off their latest album – which is their 15th studio record

    and they were into it

    but when it comes to Angus’s guitar solo they cheered even louder.

    and it’s not like he’s Miles Davis up there,

    for the most part he sticks to the solo you’ve heard on the record.

    he might miss a note or two or pluck a string a little early


    so we buy the tshirts and the records and the concert tickets

    and the light up devil horns

    and we sing along to the nonsense that doesnt mean anything deep

    because when it comes right down to it we’re not all that super fucking deep neither.

    turn that shit up!

    there was one beautiful exception: Let There Be Rock was insane. Heres a small excerpt

    it was so good i got out of my chair and Periscoped the entire 14 minute tune.

    and it was loud. even in the nosebleeds. even across Wrigleyville, home of yuppies and old schoolers who demanded that the show be over at 10pm. fine with us. the concert started early and ended right on time to canons and fireworks.

    old styles

    so thats the good news. the bad news was we could see the hologram of Brian perfectly fine (pictured to the right of the center beer), but the Angus hologram was only working sporadically.

    speaking of beers. they had to hide the Old Style! Obama!

    someone told me that Budweiser has something to do with it. either the Cubs cut a deal with the beer giant or they lost a bet or something but no vendor could walk around with Old Styles and if you went to the beer stand you had to ASK for it and when you did they cracked open a can and spit in the cup first.

    RULES IS RULES they said.

    but you know what, Old Style at Wrigley WITH spit is still better than Budweiser out of the tap anywhere. so i happily accepted it and tipped generously.

    with that said WHAT THE FUCK WRIGLEY FIELD, does no one stand by their man any more?


    afterwards we spilled out into the streets – which were closed to cars and made our way into a nearby bar that let us in free and inside was an AC/DC cover band that played pretty much all the other songs that AC/DC didn’t play at Wrigley and weirdly that was incredibly fun too!


    and we met some drunk girls and… Ronnie Woo Woo! angus young jerseys

    did i mention that everyone had AC/DC shirts and jerseys and baseball gear and drones and homemade clocks ALL with Angus or AC/DC on them? incredible. Chicago I LOVE YOU!

    cubs acdc jerseyheres the set list


    1. Encore:

    fist of all how many bands can pull out MONSTER hits as song #4 and #10 on the set list and their biggest tune as #12 of a 20-song show? it’s almost as if theyre showing off. it’s almost as if theyre saying oh yeah, well how about this.

    only Nirvana buried “Teen Spirit” in weird places in their set list, far as i recall. but everyone else saves the best for last or starts the show with it  but usually keeps it for the end because they dont want people running for the exits.

    why would you ever want to leave one of the best shows of your life?


    the only reasonable answer is: for tacos.

  2. Thursday, February 12, 2015

    went to carmax last night to buy a mercedes 

    tvCcTnvi dont really care for mercedeses but i want to drive for the higher class uber because basic uber is for basics

    got there met a nice guy who’d been there five years (take a break already!) and together we stumbled into a row of Infinitis

    theyre faster cooler and cheaper than mercedeses and i was sold on one that only had 9k miles.

    when we start crunching the numbers we realize i owe more on my current car than its worth

    because somehow, for some reason, my current ford hybrid has lost nearly half of its value in just over a year!

    meaning i will have to finance about $5k of my current loan into my new loan

    and, little did i know, but even ppl with good credit, like me, can expect to pay 6% interest on used cars.

    meaning my car payment with the infiniti would be about $200 a month more than what i currently pay

    and even though if everything goes right i would be making about $800 a month more driving in the luxury tier

    it would suck to give back 1/4 of that just on a car payment.

    especially because who knows how long i can make $800 more than i am currently making on uber

    and who really wants a $620 car note?

    so now im thinking about getting a cheaper car, which is ok, i dont care, i dont care about anything really

    except who is gonna get me world series tickets in a year and a half.

    at wrigley field.

    but i do know this, friends.

    i am gonna see AC/DC at the friendly confines this september.

    hopefully with my mom and niece and nephew bc who knows how long theyve got to rock.

  3. Sunday, November 30, 2014
  4. Sunday, August 31, 2014

    who is your eazy 

    easy ewhen i was a kid i wanted to be a teacher.

    but i would be a bad teacher.

    i would say things like, wait Nobody but this kid read the chapter today? figures. i hear your music. if you call it that.

    robot squeaks and sound effects.

    push buttons and artificial dynamics.

    music evolved from chuck berry to hendrix to nirvana to this?

    who is your eazy e?


    who is your led zeppelin?

    no wonder you dont read things except on your phone.

    the reality is dismal.

    beep beep bop.

    once ac/dc was playing at irvine meadows which was the spot of an abandonded lion country safari.

    back in those days there was omg no internet so if you wanted tickets to a show you either had to go to a record store or department store that had the ticket machines

    or you called on the phone.

    so i called the morning of the show and said hey are there a lot of tickets available or should i go down to robinsons and get a ticket right away.

    and the lady said oh theres plenty, have no fear.

    queensryche was opening. operation mindcrime, g.

    figured id save some service fees by just driving down to the show and buying some grass tickets at the box office.

    when i got there they were sold out and there were lots of us who were under the impression that tickets would be available at the gate.

    so someone said, lets hike through lion country safari and hop the fence.

    and all of us said, thats the most perfect idea of all time.

    it was scary, dangerous, illegal, regretable

    and well worth it when you find yourself in the midst of a full blown acdc show

    and hells bells is ringing as you run from the cops.

    either do your homework or make music worth getting popped for.

  5. Thursday, August 7, 2014
  6. Sunday, March 16, 2014

    adam bradley carlson asks, “tony do you still have that shirt?” 

    2007 with the girls in vancouver

    in the summer of 2007 i went to vancouver and had a great time with keira-anne, corrina, miss604 and many others

    and some of my best memories is taking pics of us holding our mammaries

    while i wore this killer AC/DC shirt given to me many years ago by one Mr. Os

    today corrina’s husband adam tweeted me wondering if i still had the sweet silk shirt.


    till i die, my man

  7. Sunday, March 31, 2013
  8. Wednesday, February 27, 2013

    KM asks: let’s say you’re having a rough day, what tunes turn that frown upside down? 

    park ranger

    dear katherine,

    im so sorry you’re feeling gloomy.

    i am very worried about gloomy feelings because i get nervous that they can snowball into gloomy days, gloomy weeks, and gloomy months.

    so i try to nip even the slightest negative feelings in the bud.

    perhaps being a Cubs fan has helped me cope.

    since they’re terrible.

    and probably won’t win it all until 2014.

    weirdly i don’t find myself down too often, and “rough days” in journalism are just called “days”.

    but when things are extraordinarily difficult i usually go somewhere that has funny pictures or sweet things happening like Reddit and click real fast to see if theres anything inspiring or interesting.

    and look, today i spy a little note from a Yosemite Junior Ranger named Evie who sent something nice to the Park Rangers there.


    but you’re right, music does make the heart grow fonder though, so when i find the urge to turn on some music and take a little walk here are some songs and videos that would soothe this savage beast:

    Continue reading “KM asks: let’s say you’re having a rough day, what tunes turn that frown upside down?”

  9. Sunday, January 27, 2013

    the 70 best AC/DC songs, in order 

    Angus Young70. Bedlam In Belgium
    69. C.O.D.
    68. War Machine
    67. She’s Got Balls
    66. Crabsody In Blue
    65. Safe In New York City
    64. That’s The Way I Wanna Rock N Roll
    63. Hard As A Rock
    62. Cover You In Oil
    61. Evil Walks
    60. Landslide
    59. Who Made Who
    58. Let’s Get It Up
    57. Beating Around The Bush
    56. Mistress For Christmas
    55. Goodbye & Good Riddance To Bad Luck
    54. I Put The Finger On You
    53. Get It Hot
    52. High Voltage
    51. Let Me Put My Love Into You
    50. Can I Sit Next To You Girl
    49. Giving The Dog A Bone
    48. Little Lover
    47. Up To My Neck In You
    46. There’s Gonna Be Some Rockin
    45. Rock ‘N’ Roll Singer
    44. Riff Raff
    43. Rock ‘N’ Roll Train
    42. Inject The Venom
    41. What You Do For Money Honey
    40. Rock ‘N’ Roll Damnation
    39. Live Wire
    38. Rocker
    37. Girls Got Rhythm
    36. Gimme A Bullet
    35. Shake A Leg
    34. Baby Please Don’t Go
    33. Walk All Over You
    32. Love At First Feel
    31. Shot Down In Flames
    30. Bad Boy Boogie
    29. Gone Shootin’
    28. Money Talks
    27. Have A Drink On Me
    26. Hell Ain’t A Bad Place To Be
    25. Ride On
    24. Squealer
    23. Ain’t No Fun (Waiting Round To Be A Millionaire)
    22. If You Want Blood You Got It
    21. Soul Stripper
    20. Problem Child
    19. Big Balls
    18. Down Payment Blues
    17. Jailbreak
    16. Night Prowler
    15. TNT
    14. The Jack
    13. Rock And Roll Ain’t Noise Pollution
    12. Touch Too Much
    11. Back In Black
    10. Highway To Hell
    9. It’s A Long Way To The Top (If You Want To Rock N Roll)
    8. Sin City
    7. Let There Be Rock
    6. Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap
    5. Whole Lotta Rosie
    4. You Shook Me All Night Long
    3. For Those About To Rock (We Salute You)
    2. Shoot To Thrill
    1. Hells Bells

  10. Friday, June 15, 2012