nothing in here is true

  1. Tuesday, September 1, 2020

    what do you do if you saw a perfectly good guitar, alone? 

    is it a test?

    is dumbass ashton kutcher gonna jump outta a taco truck?

    is Dateline going to fall from the sky?

    are the strings coated with COVID?

    are the angels in the Heavens debating the morals between Christians and non-believers and one of them says, oh here comes a Christian, Gabriel, set a perfectly sweet guitar in his path and see what he does

    but thats tony pierce, Gabriel says

    other angel cuts him off, just do it Gabe. jeeeze!

    Gabriel says but but

    other angel glares at him and points at his watch DO IT

    and i walked by it, investigated it. took exactly three photos of it and moved on.

    angels laughed

    other angel huffed

    Gabriel sighed and says, tony only plays electric guitars

  2. Thursday, August 24, 2017

    what if we actually do live forever 

    what if the world is a vampire

    what if the caged bird doesn’t know why its singing

    what if no one is really reading anything that we tap tap type except for the angels

    what if the angels every once in a while see God skateboarding on the half pipe and he glides over to them

    and says whats going on

    and what if they say have you read the busblog in a while

    and he goes, actually no, THAT DUDE IS THE SAME AS HE WAS BACK IN 2004

    and what if the angels are all, in a way yes

    but in another way, nope

    and what if God is all, are you disagreeing with the man upstairs?

    and what if the angels are like, uh.

    the best thing about angels is theyre like George Washington:

    they love cutting down cherry trees

    their favorite thing is wooden teeth

    and they cannot tell a lie, like ever.

    which is why God loves them so much because they try to keep it in but their cheeks get red

    and their wings flutter

    and their robes get all tangled in the wind

    as they fly away


    and higher

    while saying


    clutching their harps.