nothing in here is true

  1. Sunday, March 5, 2017

    to say she is beautiful is to ignore so many other words 

    plus, in LA everyone is smokin, so.

    i was in my pjs. it was saturday. i was thinking about treating myself to some sushi delivery and calling it a night, when she texted:

    ubering tonight?

    no, i hit my goal yesterday. day off!

    what are you gonna do?

    jack shit! only got 1 day off over the last 2 weeks thanks to the Oscars, so im pooped.

    perfect. be right over!

    oh i would be the worst company ever. odds are very good that i would fall asleep in the middle of dinner.

    why do i doubt this?

    plus my house is a wreck, my medicine cabinet is bleeding from the inside, i still have a little cough going on close to a month now. i need a new bed room throw rug, my camera is broke, i cant find my second xbox controller, and i havent shaved my head since

    there was a knock at the door.

    there was a peek through the mexican blanket curtain.

    there were high heeled shoes

    legs like zz top

    a completely ridiculous black dress so short the seamstress probably had a heart attack making

    and either it was drizzling outside or she was wearing glitter.

    she mouthed: i have cookies!

    opened the door and fake news because she really didnt have cookies, she had cookie dough

    does your oven work?

    she also had bananas.


    like my life.