nothing in here is true

  1. Sunday, August 2, 2020

    was this a good weekend? 

    any weekend where i remained above ground is a good one.

    amber and i went out to temple city yesterday, then today over to santa monica.

    ive been looking for baseball card sleeves for my three ring binders.

    shes been so bored around the house that shes been tidying up every nook and cranny.

    ive kept her off my trail pretty well, but my many mansions may have firepoof floors

    but they dont have any true space for my small baseball card collection

    so i have been putting them in binders like mitt romney.

    weirdly theres an out of control baseball card shortage at target, walmart, walgreens and CVS.

    i talked to the store manager of this huge walgreens in monrovia who loves baseball cards

    and he gave me the address of a small baseball card shop in altadena

    i said, your store is so gigantic why dont you have a huge row of cards here and supplies like what im looking for.

    he said, the kids would steal.

    i said, put them in the glass cases that my shampoo is in at Vons


    he had alligator shoes on.

    we talked baltimore orioles baseball for a little while.

    then he got depressed.

    then amber said can you just please order these online?

    and i said yes dear.

  2. Sunday, November 24, 2019

    every day i dont wear a suit is a good day 

    how have i even been able to feed myself without a shirt and tie.

    drove around south LA yesterday looking for baseball cards at walmarts.

    couldnt find anything i was looking for.

    first i went east then south, then way south,

    then i was in compton and i met this mexican family.

    kids were sneezing, but the dad and his oldest son were considering these $79 a box cards

    clearly collectors. we started talking and it turned out they had been 20 minutes ahead of me

    allll day long.

    clearing the shelves everywhere along the way.

    what are the odds.

    so i followed them home.

    and moved in.

    tell my cats i love them.