Friday, October 14, 2016
Wednesday, July 13, 2016
it was held in san diego, which is only a few hours away from my home
seven Cubs were named to the team. the entire infield was Cubs.
but as you know i hate san diego and i hope it falls into the ocean and gets flushed down into the center of the earths core.
one reason is because in 1984 the padres beat the cubs in the playoffs.
this week’s all star game was a celebration of sorts of that 84 padres team. they made everyone wear the brown and yellow shit and piss colors of that year during the home run derby.
during any other circumstance i might have paid big bucks to see my cubbies take the field and represent. but as i just said i hope Dani Targeryian’s dragons fly down there and burn the whole city down.
as i was getting ready to watch the game on tv my dear friend Dave, who was down there for work, took a picture of the worst announcer in sports, joe buck, and texted it to me. he went one step further by putting my pride and joy, the busblog’s url on the picture to enhance the “humor”. i nearly choked on my short rib. as you can see the pretty lady interviewing him is keeping her distance because lighting will strike him one day soon and that day cannot come soon enough.
so yeah that was part of my yesterday. trying to watch my cubs. trying to forget it was being held in the land that time hates. and trying to squint with my ears as joe called the game. what i noticed was because all of his fantasy boyfriends were on the field he had a hard time ruining the game. boy did he try. but it wasnt actually all that bad.
he did leave out one huge detail because hes a company man robot and only speaks outloud what is written down in front of him.
the detail was, the NL was the visitors last night even though San Diego, for all its faults, is an NL city.
what Joe didn’t mention was in the next couple of years MLB is going to have the all star game in two more NL cities so they let the AL be the “home” team last night because, well, the AL is stinky like SD so may as well let them pretend for a night that theyre at home.
Saturday, May 7, 2016
but this may be the most important
Friday, February 19, 2016
we like to go to Castia de Castia or whatever it’s called because it’s central and they have a big room in the back and a back patio where all the kids can be loud and play and do shots without any of us “old folks” spying on them.
kidding! the children are actually selling beers to passing strangers at a discount.
one of the kids, the oldest of the mcilvane boys is an excellent baseball player. i taught him everything he knows.
yesterday he was sporting a sweatshirt for a team he is on. i said The Kamikazes? he said yeah.
i said, i thought we lived in the politically correct Silver Lake / Los Feliz / Echo Park corridor, how is this possible?
the boy just looked at me.
i said, do you know what a Kamikaze is? before he could answer i interrupted, not a delicious drink.
he said, they are suicide bombers.
i was a little startled at how concisely he described it.
i said yes! yes!
he said, yeah someone got upset and we had to change the name. because our caps already had a K on it, we changed the name to The Kings.
which was interesting, because here in America, didn’t some of us defect from England because we didn’t wanna be ruled by Kings any more? Didn’t we want some representation to go along with the taxation?
and then i drove home trying to think of other names that started with K
The Korean BBQs
The High Flying Kites
The Killer Kittens
The Kreepy Klowns
and then I realized yeah the Kings was probably the smart move.
Thursday, December 24, 2015
the knuckleball isnt thrown with the knuckles
it’s thrown with the finger
the goal is to throw the ball with absolute
zero spin on it
so the wind will take over
and zig it this way
and then drop it
when theres a knuckleball pitcher, the catcher puts on a different (bigger) mitt than he normally uses
because even he won’t know where the ball is gonna land.
it turns out the randomness of nature, in this example, minor changes in wind patterns
is better at fooling batters than pinpoint accuracy.
happy accidents. the joy luck club. putting the ball in mother natures hands. letting go of the illusion of control. mastering that which cannot be tamed.
because of its difficulty and its steep downside, there are very few professional knuckleballers in the game today.
if i was 12 years old right now, theres only one pitch i would be working on
every day, all day
Friday, August 14, 2015
last night i was having a bad dream. it was so bad that as i was waking up i thought it would make for a good scary movie. when i fell back asleep i was right back in it. i forget what was happening now, of course, but evil was involved and there wasn’t anything i could do about it.
rarely do i dream. sometimes they’re good dreams. but i dont even like those because they are lies.
when i finally did wake up for reals, i reached over one of the sleeping cats for my phone and saw this on it. that i had won $150 on one of my baseball gambling games. it made me feel like i was still dreaming because i have been doing so poorly that i was thinking about stopping.
every week i would put $20-$30 in my yahoo account and play $2 or $5 games each day. usually i’d do terrible. but for some reason yesterday even though my pitchers didn’t do all that well, almost every single one of my hitters racked up points and i ended up in 3rd place out of 822 others. if Albert Pujols hadn’t gone 0-5 i would have won $500.
but $150 is great. thats more than ive spent, so i guess im ahead of the game and more like Bukowski (who gambled on the ponies) than i thought.
Saturday, July 11, 2015
this woman was one years old the last time the Cubs won the world series.
Friday, June 19, 2015
the struggle is
Friday, June 12, 2015
besides the world famous busblog league, my favorite baseball league is LouisvilleSluggerville.
this is my seventh year playing in it. it’s a keeper league.
ive never placed higher than fourth place, but usually i get massacred.
my problem is i have no pitching.
my outfield is amazing: trout, braun, harper and now billy burns
meaning the dirty cardinal Matt Holliday was ripe to get his ass traded.
young Carlos Correa got called up from triple A on monday and i didnt learn about it until too late
fortunately the commish, mike, owner of Gold Balls, was willing to part with the unproven rookie
in exchange for Holliday, who’s batting .303, and Nats infielder Yunel Escobar who is hitting .319
as long as he gave me a decent starting pitcher to help out my horrible rotation.
so i got Ubaldo Jiménez who only has 3 wins (his last four starts were no decisions and the one before those was a loss).
why would i want him? because his era is just barely over 3, his whip is just 1.26
and with 60ks he’s suddenly my second best pitcher in regards to strikeouts.
the day after mike accepted the trade Correa hit a homer and stole a base and Holliday went on the DL.
which hopefully symbolizes how amazing a trade this will be for my team, papi*
why is there an asterisk after the name of my team?
i put that on there in 2009 once some of the results from the mitchell report came out
and my best player, who i named my team after, had allegedly failed a drug test.
mlb refuses to tell papi what drugs were in his system, but
once someone as huge as Baseball puts a stain on your name
its super hard to remove it.
Wednesday, April 29, 2015
fans weren’t allowed to attend the game because nobody likes the white sox
and also because of the rioting in baltimore
but mostly because of the white sox
it was the first time in baseball history where there were no fans in the stands.
orioles first baseman had a little fun with the situation by tossing the third out of an inning to a lucky fan.
but deep down everyone was happy they didnt have to see the sox in person