like today, today we were driving and she got real quiet so i put on the beastie boys book on tape
im a book on tape fiend right now
whats great about theirs is they have different people reading different chapters because theres close to 100 chapters and they are correct in assuming we dont wanna hear just two guys reading that big ass book
we would much rather hear them along with the likes of ben stiller, wanda sykes, ll cool j, amy poehler, spike jonze, and wes anderson — among many others.
so we were listening to this story about them going to england for the first time and they mention the fact that they were at mick jones’ house and right before joe strummer popped in adam yauch asked mick to play clash city rockers.
because im a million years old and amber is innocence and youth personified i asked her if she knew that tune. she said nope. i go siri play clash city rockers by the clash. and we listened and
i thought to myself
this poor girl. bad enough shes gotta listen to the beasties book on tape but worse,
jarvis cocker reading from the book
and just when shes settled in listening to the story i go siri play this song shes never heard
i wouldnt be able to stand it if the roles were reversed.
i dont remember if i was still working at the record store or selling car radios at federated group
but i do know that once i did start selling stereos there was no better tape to demonstrate speakers
especially subwoofers than
“slow and low”
(white castle fries only come in one size).
anniversaries like this can make some feel old. but it makes me feel grateful.
im glad i was of age to see this record become the biggest debut ever for a trio or a group or a hip hop group or someone.
but it was also fascinating to watch this brand of rap evolve from Run DMC to LL to this.
and it was so obvious right away how much of an improvement it was to integrate the bells of DMC, the aggressiveness of LL with the led zeppelin and Mr Ed samples and just straight up tomfoolery to make this record
and live: all they did was run around the stage spraying budweiser cans on each other and the fans and sliding around in their adidases.
im so grateful i got to see their first show at the Paladium. im so glad i got to see them in college graduate to Pauls Boutique and then Check Your Head
and what a small world that i was in Atwater Village when they were in Atwater recording Ill Communication.
but it all started with the three bad brothers you know so well.
Long time AC/DC crooner, Brian Johnson, has been told by doctors that if he continues fronting the hard rock group he will go deaf.
Instead of retiring, now that his brother Malcolm Young is back home due to dementia, and his drummer Phil Rudd can’t leave Australia due to bizarre criminal allegations, lead guitarist/atraction Angus Young seemingly still wants to travel the world blowing the roof off the mother.
So here’s who I think should be the next singer of my favorite rock group
10. Glen Danzig – he’s probably a little too heavy for AC/DC but maybe that gruff could add a little edge to the aging group
9. Justin Hawkins (The Darkness) – this dude was born to front a real rock band. Don’t get me wrong, I think The Darkness is incredible. But because it’s sooooo derivative of 80s hair metal groups, many think they’re a joke. I believe. Justin is one of the few that could hit the high notes and the idea of a triple guitar attack on numbers like “Shoot to Thrill” or “Bad Boy Boogie” is fascinating.
8. Bruce Dickinson (Iron Maiden) – there aren’t many singers who could add even more power to AC/DC anthems. Bruce could. And he could fly the damn plane.
7. Kid Rock – If there is any complaint about the dynamics of AC/DC music it’s that it’s one dimensional. Kid Rock could add a layer of Southern rock and warmth that hasn’t been there since Bon Scott died in 1980. Imagine what he could add with piano on tunes like “Have A Drink On Me” and “The Jack”. And what about harmonica on “It’s a Long Way to the Top” instead of bagpipe?
6. Andrew W.K. – The only downside of Andrew W.K. leading AC/DC is he’d be so great at it that kids would think that he wrote all the songs. And his energy might kill Angus.
5. Ad Rock & Mike D. – Everyone loved the original mashup of Aerosmith and Run DMC. What if you were treated to a night led by the remaining members of Beastie Boys with the live accompaniment of AC/DC on songs that maybe might include some new freestyle verses.
4. Kim Gordon – Some say Joan Jett is the perfect female singer/guitarist to front AC/DC but I’d rather have Kim Gordon who would give a spookier take on “She’s Got Balls” and “Inject The Venom”.
3. Jack Black – It would be the funniest AC/DC show you’ve ever seen, that’s for sure.
2. Jack White – It would be the sexiest AC/DC show you’ve ever seen and the dual lead guitar duals would be legendary.
1. Zack de la Rocha (Rage Against the Machine) – hopefully they’d play a half hour of Rage tunes as an encore.
first, start by knowing that when you die you go to Heaven.
second, start watching sports.
what we love in sports is the team who comes back from an impossible deficit, with their star or unlikely star on the ropes, partially injured, undersized, outclassed, who no one believes in anymore
who makes magic happen when it matters.
and wins by a narrow margin.
no one loves the blowout. no one cares for a team that starts strong and finishes strong.
even the angels and saints want drama, despite what you want.
speaking of… third, read the bible.
theres all the stories about david and goliath, but that’s a red herring because david was never the Everyman, he was a superstar with no peers from the get go.
the better stories are the ones like shadrach meshach and abednego who straight up Trusted the Lord and stayed true to who they were when they were led into the fiery furnace.
always stay true, ponyboy.
it’s easy to whine, it’s easy to say oh woe is me, it’s easy to say damn it sure feels like forces are lining against me, but fuck that. life could be a million times worse. theres people with missing limbs, theres people who have babies and the babies are all effed up. theres people who have terrible things that have happened to their faces and brains and imagine what it is like for them to try to find a job
or try to get a girl to go with them to the dance or even a hay ride.
crappy as things might be for you, odds are you could find someone to go on a hayride with you.
then remember if parts of life weren’t tough we’d never have poetry or shakespeare or hbo or rage against the machine.
winter IS coming, fyi
are you just gonna sit there and whimper and look over at your neighbors green grass and envy what you think is going on over there.
i’ll tell you whats going on over there
none of your business is going on over there.
you have your own life to deal with, and it’s a full life, and it’s yours.
you are bigger than your struggles.
you have a terrible flu, youre in utah, and you have the ball.
do you really want to be known as the black dude who lost a basketball game in utah?
or do you wanna be known as one of the three bad brothers who casually danced into the firey furnace
and then breakdanced inside it?
theres a reason you learned how to pop lock
theres a reason the Good Lord smiles when He hears your name.
theres a reason when you walk down the street all the little pretties wave their hand.
and i was trying to explain to her that the mtv video music awards is great because its shocking
i reminded her that madonna really catapulted her career when she dry humped her wedding dress at the vmas
and then later kissed both britney and xtina while wearing a tuxedo
therefore miley is just an extension of that.
one of the most shocking (at the time) moments though had nothing to do with sex, but with politics
when in 1998 mca of the beastie boys, three years before 9/11 criticized then-president Clinton that his retaliation to the US embassy bombings was a bad call.
“Those bombings that took place in the Middle East were thought of as retaliation by the terrorists and if we thought of what we did as retaliation certainly we’re gonna find more retaliation from people in the Middle East. From terrorists specifically I should say, because most Middle Eastern people are not terrorists,” Yauch said.
And then he brought it home by warning against Islamophobia: “That’s another thing that America really needs to think about is our racism, racism that comes from the United States towards the Muslim people and towards Arabic people and that’s something that has to stop and the United States has to start respecting people from the Middle East in order to find a solution to the problems that have been building up over many years, so I thank everyone for your patience, and letting me speak my mind.”
the three bad brothers you know so well always knew how to shock in different ways, true.
but when they were miley’s age they were bragging about doing it like this, doing it like that
and doing it with…
which is why i am totally fine with letting 20-year-olds be 20-year-olds,