keira-anne and miss 604 are in town

rebecca and keira

two of my favorite BC bloggers Miss 604 and keira-anne.com have come to your favorite southern california metropolis and they really wanted to go to a Dodger game.

why? well because all they have in vancouver is professional softball and semi-pro ping pong

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and lord knows they dont have Super Dodger Dogs

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thanks to a fascinating dude who went to camp with Rebecca, we got incredible lower level seats (for free) that were perfectly situated in the shade and yet pretty much right behind home plate

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the dude is named Preston and he travels around the nation where he creates art based on baseball stadiums. he also draws Disney princesses sporting the baseball jerseys of the park he’s at. he tweets where he is sitting and his fans come running to collect free art.

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it was a hot day on Saturday so we walked around the park to take in the sights. it was Keira’s first MLB game.

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it was also my first Dodger game of the year, so when we bought beers i was so shocked that it cost $17 a beer that it didn’t sink in until yesterday that the Dodgers were gouging their fans that horribly.

$17 is more than i pay for a half a tank of gasoline.

how is one beer equal to half a tank of gas?

Magic Johnson and the Dodgers should be ashamed.

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to protest we drove over to Echo Park and drank MexiCokes and ate real tacos

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then we went to Mohawk Bend and drank actual beers

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and then we went to Tony’s Bar in DTLA and ate actual pizza next door.

brunch

along the way we even picked up Emilio Reyes (not pictured) and had a delicious brunch.

everyone went to Disneyland yesterday. today and tomorrow expect to see some pool party action.

when i was in high school, i totally wanted a girlfriend

when i was in college, i totally wanted lots of girlfriends

when i got out of college, i totally wanted a company car.

when i got a company car, i wanted a new company car.

when i got a new company car, i wanted my own business.

when i got my own business, i wanted an employee to do the things i didnt wanna do.

when i got an employee, i got bored and moved away.

when i moved away i started getting more money than ever before.

when i got more money than ever before, i bought the most ridiculous things, sometimes i wouldnt even open the boxes that they came in for weeks and weeks and weeks and weeks.

now i dont know what i want any more.

im not sure i even want a bikini girl to pour me a beer in a boot and serve it to me while i waterski barefooted.

actually i am sure.

i just want a cold beer, served out of a plastic cup, in the bleachers of wrigley field.

bikini girl optional.

perfect idea, make an arcade of classic 80s video games

karen and paige at blipys

get a liquor license, get djs to spin their “wax”

and profit!

it would help to get some air conditioning

and maybe turn down the volume so everyone isnt screaming at each other

and fix your change machine

BUT OTHER THAN THAT BLIPY’S BARCADE TOTALY RULEZ

no seriously i love it there and it makes me think i should start spending more time in KTown

anyway Happy Birthday Paige!

some people are angry drunks

my tiger and dogthey’ll fight, they’ll spit,

maybe they might even throw some punches at you

both verbally and physically.

some people get very bold and sexual when they drink.

i got drunk with someone who after a while started having conversations with people who werent there.

at first the gentleman was talking to me, but then he was conversing to what seemed to be intellectual stock traders:

“Even though Europe is a mess and GM unfairly benefited from the bailout, i’m bullish about them,” he said to the wall.

me, im a happy drunk. all i see are lollipops and unicorns.

baby tigers sleeping with vicious pit bulls on my waterbed.

so happy i might even write you a little email while i take a leak at the hotel bar.

so loving i might put my hand on your leg and put my other hand on your hand when you put your hand on my hand.

but i am also a tad more reserved. the body goes into overdrive.

i get quieter. i listen like crazy. even to the breaths in between.

one of my heros is harry caray, the brillant cubs announcer of olden times

who legend has it was often tipsy as he delivered the play-by-play.

pretty sure that wouldnt work for me as all id say is

god i love baseball.

isnt baseball wonderful, merle?

and then for a half inning all youd hear are the sounds of the game.

john cage meets a batting cage.

my first full beer was an old style at wrigley field

i was way too young to be drinking, but back then if your mom gave you $10 you could sit in the bleachers for $3, get a hot dog for $2, get a beer for $3 and still have some money left over to get some peanuts and a score card and a pencil and stuff.

the beer guy looked at me when i asked for a beer. he was carrying two cases through the bleachers. in those days the bleachers were legendary, but that didnt mean that people really sat there much.

i said, one please.

he looked around, looked at the scoreboard, looked at me. figured i was screwed forever

and poured me one.

if im ever in the position to breed or adopt, i wont allow my children to be cub fans.

its too expensive.

update: this photo says it all