busblog

nothing in here is true

  1. Monday, March 31, 2014

    i had a full weekend 

    bree

    drove till 3am on both friday and saturday night

    hiked saturday afternoon with bree, then ate great seafood

    drove up to valencia for a lovely mini nexus reunion

    where it turned out ive gotta save the world, nbd

    went to little joys 1 year anniversary

    and somehow last night i was home for most of the night, never turned on the tv

    and read the bible for an hour like a good man should

    and was met with this intense way for God to punish King Jehoram for being a prick:

    2nd Chronicles, chapter 21

    18 And after all this the Lord smote him in his bowels with an incurable disease. 19 In course of time, at the end of two years, his bowels came out because of the disease, and he died in great agony. His people made no fire in his honor, like the fires made for his fathers. 20 He was thirty-two years old when he began to reign, and he reigned eight years in Jerusalem; and he departed with no one’s regret. They buried him in the city of David, but not in the tombs of the kings.

    maybe this is why you dont know any dudes named Jehoram?

    lesson: live a life in which when you die, your people will wanna make a fire in yr honor

  2. Sunday, December 29, 2013

    the quote of the week came from the new pope who stopped believing in Hell 

    pope francis

    “We must recognize that religious truth evolves and changes. Truth is not absolute or set in stone. Even atheists acknowledge the divine. Through acts of love and charity the atheist acknowledges God as well, and redeems his own soul, becoming an active participant in the redemption of humanity,” Pope Francis told the Third Vatican Council on Christmas. Or if you’re new Pope, Casual Thursday.

    “Through humility, soul searching, and prayerful contemplation we have gained a new understanding of certain dogmas. The church no longer believes in a literal hell where people suffer. This doctrine is incompatible with the infinite love of God. God is not a judge but a friend and a lover of humanity. God seeks not to condemn but only to embrace. Like the fable of Adam and Eve, we see hell as a literary device. Hell is merely a metaphor for the isolated soul, which like all souls ultimately will be united in love with God” the Pope declared.

    And then he dropped the mic.

    Sadly it was a fake quote.

    But if it frees you to do what your loving heart desires, you should live by it.

  3. Sunday, November 17, 2013

    this is how the first book of Kings starts 

    da bears

    1. King David was old and advanced in years; and although they covered him with clothes, he could not get warm.

    2 So his servants said to him, “Let a young virgin be sought for my lord the king, and let her wait on the king, and be his attendant; let her lie in your bosom, so that my lord the king may be warm.”

    3 So they searched for a beautiful girl throughout all the territory of Israel, and found Abishag the Shunammite, and brought her to the king.

    4 The girl was very beautiful. She became the king’s attendant and served him, but the king did not know her sexually.

    three things

    1. now thats how you start a book

    2. it’s good to be the king

    3. i’m going to design some wooden spoons for ikea called Abishag the Shunammite

  4. Monday, September 2, 2013

    first sam 

    miles davissometimes good things happen and little do you know it

    but it was the work of angels

    sometimes good things happen and youre all

    you know that was the Lord right there.

    theres a little something extra thats in there

    when the source of it alls involved.

    it happens every now and then

    and sometimes i cant handle too much of it.

    im just a man.

    bones built in me. my dull dough sours.

    blood brims the curse as bro said

    every sunday when i read the bible i listen to miles davis or one of his contemporaries

    because to me they compliment each other perfect

    tonight the reading was first sam

    and incidentally its when sam was working for eli and god was all dude

    and sam was like yes eli?

    and eli was all i didnt say nothin, go back to sleep.

    and later god was all dude! and sam was all yes eli?

    and eli was all, it wasnt me. maybe it was the lord.

    if you hear it again say ‘sup

    so the lord was all dude. and sam said ‘sup.

    and god said im gonna punish eli big time and his dumbass evil sons.

    and theres nothing he can do about it.

    so sam peaced out and in the morning eli asked him if it was Him

    and he said yep. and he asked so what did He say.

    and sam said its going down.

    and eli was all

    God.

  5. Friday, July 26, 2013

    this is an ad i never thought id see in my lifetime 

    apparently this weekend NASCAR is gonna have a a few big races and hundreds of thousands of the attendees may see this inexpensive but funny ad for weed.

    i question a few things in the claims it makes. specifically the fat dude’s belly and the skinny woman’s.

    from what i’ve read in the newspapers is weed gives you the munchies.

    in fact some people i’ve talked to here in LA were prescribed medical marijuana cards so the mysterious plant could help stimulate their appetite.

    cigarrettes are good for you says chesterfieldin fact some people i’ve talked to here in LA were prescribed medical marijuana cards so the mysterious plant could help stimulate their appetite.

    while its true that the herb doesnt have nearly as many calories, per se, as compared to booze, its effects have a, uh, high probability of inducing caloric intake.

    that is both a benefit and a feature for some. but something that should be warned about for others.

    if the people behind this advertisement want to be taken seriously, they should avoid the embarrassing path that Big Tobacco took when they said ridiculous things like cigarettes were good for you.

    mary jane will make you thin is just as insane.

    here’s another thing i would do if i was the weed lobby wanting to be taken seriously: i would make the next commercial in a serious manner. i would put the Church in it.

    flip open your bibles to page 2.

    Genesis:1 29-31 And God said, “Behold, I have given you every plant yielding seed that is on the face of all the earth, and every tree with seed in its fruit. You shall have them for food. 30 And to every beast of the earth and to every bird of the heavens and to everything that creeps on the earth, everything that has the breath of life, I have given every green plant for food.” And it was so. 31 And God saw everything that he had made, and behold, it was very good. And there was evening and there was morning, the sixth day.

    It was so good he took the next day off. And he said that was good too.

    If I was the weed lobby I would ask the Catholic Church and all the other bible reading churches where does God say in the bible that he has an exception to the all the green plants are here for you goodness?

    I would ask them, where in the bible does God say that plant I made that makes you laugh and eat tacos was a mistake. Takebacks!

    if part of this relatively recent (historically) stigma onto cannabis is due to some moral mumbojumbo why not just talk to the moral majority itself?

    hard for me to believe that the branch of government so uniquely tied to wine would be so morally against weed when in page two of their most holy text their Creator gave it the seal of approval after He made it.

    in fact show me one story in that bible where the evil weed is evil. i can show you a few where wine was.

    what i would hope to hear from the Church is something along the lines of Ephesians 5:18 “And do not get drunk with wine, for that is debauchery, but be filled with the Spirit”.

    which to me says, don’t go loco with what can block the spiritual high, which is attainable, you crazy kids…

    that is, if you’re ready for that trip.

  6. Wednesday, July 24, 2013

    anything is possible… so be careful 

    fat dude hot chick at the poolbecause the Lord is amazing and created a world so large that pretty much anything can happen, the bad news is

    anything can happen.

    good things, bad things, horrible things, magical things.

    one of the least talked about of the ten commandments is the tenth one: do not covet yr neighbor’s ish.

    Thou shalt not covet thy neighbour’s house, thou shalt not covet thy neighbour’s wife, nor his manservant, nor his maidservant, nor his ox, nor his ass, nor any thing that is thy neighbour’s.

    it’s hard at times because you might see your buddy’s new car or his huge backyard or his hot wife (or mistress)… or his life

    and you might say to yourself: oh hell yeah! want!

    but how many times have you wanted something and like neil young realized it was a piece of crap?

    if youre anything like me the answer is lots of times.

    and while it’s true that one mans trash is another mans treasure– seriously how often does that happen.

    usually what happens is one mans treasure is another man’s (foolish) desire to gank steal and ruin, and thats just unfortunate.

    for example i drive an xbi mobile that people seem to love. they love it more than i do for sure.

    despite the fact that ive had some good times in it, it’s really amazing that anything could have happened there.

    in fact the entire thing is impractical and id be shocked if it’s in my possession by the world series.

    likewise ive dated some amazing women. and ive had buddies say to me mama mia whats it like.

    and usually i say it’s probably exactly what it was when you dated: sometimes it’s miserable and sometimes it’s omg

    but theres a reason the alcohol business will never go out of business.

    Buddah’s second noble truth says that all suffering is rooted in desire.

    and because the first noble truth is that suffering is unavoidable, i think the bible is telling us to choose carefully as to what we desire.

    often it tells us to forget about things of this world. like hot babes, fast cars, and probably anything you could get at best buy.

    when we desire less selfish things and put ourselves in positions to omg help our neighbors instead of wanting to pork their concubines

    far less evil transpires in achieving those hopes and wishes.

    now take on the day.

  7. Sunday, May 26, 2013

    went to church today for the first time in about 20 years 

    968521_10151611319828057_692272886_o

    i find that i judge every time im in church.

    i think about how much better the band could be if they felt the music instead of read it off the charts.

    i think about how the preacher should Bring It Home after he explains what the gospels mean.

    i think about how few people wanna get close to the Word and how it’s not their fault.

    this wasn’t a Catholic church so we didn’t receive communion. there was no holy water.

    and we didn’t kneel when we prayed.

    afterwards i went to brunch with a pretty girl and said all the wrong things.

    as usual.

    top of the list: i think i need to have my own church.

    pretty sure no babe wants to hear that over eggs benedict.

    958243_10151611517473057_1127765910_oeven if it’s true.

    today we talked about Mark 3: the house divided.

    i flipped right to it in the good book.

    bro explained it perfectly but didn’t explain what it means to 21st century west LA.

    didn’t talk about divorce, office politics, or listening to the evil part of your brain that says you suck.

    a house divided cannot stand.

    a bird who doesnt believe he cannot fly

    cannot fly.

    and xbi agent who doesnt trust the process gets shot.

    if i was the preacher i woulda said does anyone in the house have an example?

    how about a band who doesn’t Know and Love the music

    cannot swing.

    the spirit is in us, saints, let it fucking out.

  8. Monday, April 1, 2013

    my favorite version of the story of Easter 

    caravaggio st. thomas

    Luke 24
    Revised Standard Version (RSV)

    But on the first day of the week, at early dawn, they went to the tomb, taking the spices which they had prepared. 2 And they found the stone rolled away from the tomb, 3 but when they went in they did not find the body. 4 While they were perplexed about this, behold, two men stood by them in dazzling apparel; 5 and as they were frightened and bowed their faces to the ground, the men said to them, “Why do you seek the living among the dead? 6 Remember how he told you, while he was still in Galilee, 7 that the Son of man must be delivered into the hands of sinful men, and be crucified, and on the third day rise.” 8 And they remembered his words, 9 and returning from the tomb they told all this to the eleven and to all the rest. 10 Now it was Mary Mag′dalene and Jo-an′na and Mary the mother of James and the other women with them who told this to the apostles; 11 but these words seemed to them an idle tale, and they did not believe them.

    easter13 That very day two of them were going to a village named Emma′us, about seven miles from Jerusalem, 14 and talking with each other about all these things that had happened. 15 While they were talking and discussing together, Jesus himself drew near and went with them. 16 But their eyes were kept from recognizing him. 17 And he said to them, “What is this conversation which you are holding with each other as you walk?” And they stood still, looking sad. 18 Then one of them, named Cle′opas, answered him, “Are you the only visitor to Jerusalem who does not know the things that have happened there in these days?” 19 And he said to them, “What things?” And they said to him, “Concerning Jesus of Nazareth, who was a prophet mighty in deed and word before God and all the people, 20 and how our chief priests and rulers delivered him up to be condemned to death, and crucified him. 21 But we had hoped that he was the one to redeem Israel. Yes, and besides all this, it is now the third day since this happened. 22 Moreover, some women of our company amazed us. They were at the tomb early in the morning 23 and did not find his body; and they came back saying that they had even seen a vision of angels, who said that he was alive. 24 Some of those who were with us went to the tomb, and found it just as the women had said; but him they did not see.” 25 And he said to them, “O foolish men, and slow of heart to believe all that the prophets have spoken! 26 Was it not necessary that the Christ should suffer these things and enter into his glory?” 27 And beginning with Moses and all the prophets, he interpreted to them in all the scriptures the things concerning himself.

    28 So they drew near to the village to which they were going. He appeared to be going further, 29 but they constrained him, saying, “Stay with us, for it is toward evening and the day is now far spent.” So he went in to stay with them. 30 When he was at table with them, he took the bread and blessed, and broke it, and gave it to them. 31 And their eyes were opened and they recognized him; and he vanished out of their sight. 32 They said to each other, “Did not our hearts burn within us while he talked to us on the road, while he opened to us the scriptures?” 33 And they rose that same hour and returned to Jerusalem; and they found the eleven gathered together and those who were with them, 34 who said, “The Lord has risen indeed, and has appeared to Simon!” 35 Then they told what had happened on the road, and how he was known to them in the breaking of the bread.

    36 As they were saying this, Jesus himself stood among them. 37 But they were startled and frightened, and supposed that they saw a spirit. 38 And he said to them, “Why are you troubled, and why do questionings rise in your hearts? 39 See my hands and my feet, that it is I myself; handle me, and see; for a spirit has not flesh and bones as you see that I have.” 41 And while they still disbelieved for joy, and wondered, he said to them, “Have you anything here to eat?” 42 They gave him a piece of broiled fish, 43 and he took it and ate before them.

    44 Then he said to them, “These are my words which I spoke to you, while I was still with you, that everything written about me in the law of Moses and the prophets and the psalms must be fulfilled.” 45 Then he opened their minds to understand the scriptures, 46 and said to them, “Thus it is written, that the Christ should suffer and on the third day rise from the dead, 47 and that repentance and forgiveness of sins should be preached in his name to all nations, beginning from Jerusalem. 48 You are witnesses of these things. 49 And behold, I send the promise of my Father upon you; but stay in the city, until you are clothed with power from on high.”

    50 Then he led them out as far as Bethany, and lifting up his hands he blessed them. 51 While he blessed them, he parted from them, and was carried up into heaven. 52 And they returned to Jerusalem with great joy, 53 and were continually in the temple blessing God.

  9. Saturday, February 16, 2013

    jessica asks “Have you always been beautiful, or was it a process?” 

    reading the dead treemy outward appearance is everything to me.

    because clothes make the man

    and a healthy diet and clean living lead to a more vibrant aura

    and flawless skin

    ive done my best to loyally wear exclusively what

    my mom gives me at christmas

    and i dine daily at mcdonalds jack n the box or burger king.

    sure i hike a few times a month

    and eat sushi with karisa after bible study on sundays

    but i immediately sneak in a donut or three

    and a bottle of whole milk, for the long drive home.

    so yes jessica, this beauty process is ongoing.

    Tucsonan asks, “god has tasked you to add 3 commandments that relates to all today’s technology. whatcha got?”

    fascinating question, Tucsonan because if i answer this wrong i could be sent to eternal damnation as per the very last sentence of the bible, which of course being in the Revelation of John (22:18) which reads, “I warn everyone who hears the words of the prophecy in this book: If anyone adds anything to them, God will strike him with the plagues that are written in this book.”

    so lets slide into this delicately.

    if there would be 13 commandments, an unusual number in regards to the good book, for sure, the 11th commandment would probably be Jesus’s “final commandment” from John 13 where he tells his disciples about the importance of love.

    “Little children, yet a little while I am with you. Ye shall seek me: and as I said unto the Jews, Whither I go, ye cannot come; so now I say to you. A new commandment I give unto you, That ye love one another; as I have loved you, that ye also love one another. 35 By this shall all men know that ye are my disciples, if ye have love one to another.

    so id make the 11th commandment:  When in doubt, love like a hippie.

    our relationship with plants and animals has been confusing, religiously, for a long time. and yet in the early part of Genesis (1:29-30), God laid out how he felt we should relate to them. Despite the fact that it’s basically on page 2 of many bibles, most people overlook it. therefore maybe it should be a commandment.

    And God said, “Behold, I have given you every plant yielding seed that is on the face of all the earth, and every tree with seed in its fruit. You shall have them for food. And to every beast of the earth and to every bird of the heavens and to everything that creeps on the earth, everything that has the breath of life, I have given every green plant for food.” And it was so.

    therfore the 12th commandment could be: All the plants and animals are here for your use. Duh.

    the 13th commandment  isn’t biblical but it should be: Thou shalt not allow the designated hitter to poison baseball.

    Now go in peace.

  10. Monday, February 11, 2013

    it’s true, i was relieved of my duties at kpcc, so i could be eligible to be the next pope 

    state of the union

    it’s weird, but i think being the first black pope – and especially the first american pope

    would be a much more historic, and powerful position than simply the second black president.

    and even though i’m sure id be shot at a lot for actually preaching what’s in the bible

    (due to the parts that go against the Catholic doctrine)

    im sure people would like a pope who not only knows who 2Pac was

    but would be open to accept visits from Ice Cube, Dr. Dre, and MC Ren

    since i remember when he drove a B-210.

    id do a lot of bible study from the poorest parts of the world.

    for some reason i didnt see the retiring pope do that.

    id go to war zones and preach peace, you know, things Jesus taught us.

    and i’d show up at places like the State of the Union and i’d cough “bullshit” every now and then

    from the balcony.

    sitting between the First Lady and Beyonce.

    that might get me shot too, but speaking truth to power isnt always the safest route to enlightenment

    but its part of the definition of courage.

    which are things we should be living by example – for the kids.

    so for the next 4 1/2 days im still the social media dude for the Take Two show,

    thus i will ask you to participate in something we’re doing today which is:

    tell us what you think President Obama will say in his State of the Union speech.

    go to our Facebook page and tell us and we may read it on the air.

    if enough people do it, they’ll probably make me pope.