first, start by knowing that when you die you go to Heaven.
second, start watching sports.
what we love in sports is the team who comes back from an impossible deficit, with their star or unlikely star on the ropes, partially injured, undersized, outclassed, who no one believes in anymore
who makes magic happen when it matters.
and wins by a narrow margin.
no one loves the blowout. no one cares for a team that starts strong and finishes strong.
even the angels and saints want drama, despite what you want.
speaking of… third, read the bible.
theres all the stories about david and goliath, but that’s a red herring because david was never the Everyman, he was a superstar with no peers from the get go.
the better stories are the ones like shadrach meshach and abednego who straight up Trusted the Lord and stayed true to who they were when they were led into the fiery furnace.
always stay true, ponyboy.
it’s easy to whine, it’s easy to say oh woe is me, it’s easy to say damn it sure feels like forces are lining against me, but fuck that. life could be a million times worse. theres people with missing limbs, theres people who have babies and the babies are all effed up. theres people who have terrible things that have happened to their faces and brains and imagine what it is like for them to try to find a job
or try to get a girl to go with them to the dance or even a hay ride.
crappy as things might be for you, odds are you could find someone to go on a hayride with you.
then remember if parts of life weren’t tough we’d never have poetry or shakespeare or hbo or rage against the machine.
winter IS coming, fyi
are you just gonna sit there and whimper and look over at your neighbors green grass and envy what you think is going on over there.
i’ll tell you whats going on over there
none of your business is going on over there.
you have your own life to deal with, and it’s a full life, and it’s yours.
you are bigger than your struggles.
you have a terrible flu, youre in utah, and you have the ball.
do you really want to be known as the black dude who lost a basketball game in utah?
or do you wanna be known as one of the three bad brothers who casually danced into the firey furnace
and then breakdanced inside it?
theres a reason you learned how to pop lock
theres a reason the Good Lord smiles when He hears your name.
theres a reason when you walk down the street all the little pretties wave their hand.
mostly because i think the Lord has better things to do than answer my prayers about playoff basketball.
so i decided to drive around ubering in the rain last night so i could listen to the Clips game on the AM radio.
in the grand scheme of things, im sure the Almighty cares very much about sports, and is thrilled that the cathedrals of yore have been replaced by sports palaces in cities around the world. but still does he really want me saying
thanks for letting the Cubs stay above .500, but could you make sure Lob City knocks out the Rockets tonight?
one of my favorite spots has been blown up, the CAA building in Century City, theres uber plus dudes all over that place where there used to be just lil ol me. so you have to adapt.
so lately ive been chilling in westwood near the condos hoping some of the richies want a ride to the airport.
last night i ended up with a very jewish young lady with her traditional garb on who was visiting her mother in the UCLA hospital.
as we were driving i asked her if she had lived in westwood her whole life. she said yes, that her dad was a rabbi at the big temple.
she added that she was also married to a rabbi.
so as we passed P’tit Soleil, the best place to eat poutine in LA, i asked her if it was cool for conservative jews to eat poutine.
she asked what was in it? i said, french fries, cheese curds, and gravy.
she said well we’re not supposed to mix meats with dairy and the gravy would violate that rule.
as we kept talking about the Torah she told me that the forbidden fruit actually has a backstory. in the notes of that tale was some detail that Adam and Eve would have been allowed to eat it if they had waited an hour, but they were instructed not to eat it on the Sabbath.
because the snake tempted them, they ate it too early and thus they were shunned from the Garden.
it was raining cats and dogs as we drove down Westwood Blvd.
i could talk about the bible with people all day, so i loved it.
even though it was the lords day, i had a full day which started with sass texting me telling me she was back in america did i wanna meet her for brunch
i said sure, where? she said how about by your house. so she drove her mini to me and got a table and texted me which is precisely what you should do and i waltzed over and we started chatting and soon there were grits and eggs benedict and lemonade which is also precisely what i love for brunch.
sass is traveling a lot. globetrotting. and of course in the midst of lots of dramaz so it was fun to talk about all of those things. afterwards she wanted a real juice because the air quality was affecting her sensitive ph balance so we drove over to hipster central and got her some of the Tony Special. it was lovely.
ali called me out on insta the night before because i was ubering in her neck of the woods and i didnt reach out to her. you just assume a smoking hot single girl who has been toning that sweet bod through crossfit would be up to her eyeballs with male attention, but i suppose everyone wants a little more busblog in their lives, so i texted her back and said lets sushi? she said oui.
because the lovely amber had hooked me up with some uber rides i decided to play it safe and uber over because the large saki large beer combo is just begging for a DUI so for the past few times ive gone ive ubered. it’s nice. thanks amber.
and because it was the Lords day i brought my ipad and read the bible on the way. we were driving right into the sunset and it was a dream. i really am very lucky to live here. especially when i hear about boston’s 100 inches of snow.
ali and i had a great time. peter served us well. the only frustration he and i had was she wouldnt tell us what secret video game she is so busy working on, but in a few months we will all know and she swears we will love it.
on my uber ride home i was totally prepared to read more especially when my uber driver was struggling with english, but as we talked i realized he is from Iraq. so he told me all about what it was like to live there his whole life but was forced to immigrate here after the fall of saddam because the violence was unmanageable.
he told me that the two times the US bombed the city we were always careful to only hit military targets, civilians rarely got hurt. but after the fall of saddam other islamic forces started fighting each other. “it would be like Glendale fighting Burbank” he explained. he said he often had to inspect under his car for bombs and eventually the bad people took over his whole block and kicked everyone out of their homes and then blew them up.
fortunately he had been working for an american company for a few years and they helped him move here with his family. older guy. so sweet. answered all of my questions with very little emotion. but i was dying inside. imagine being terrorized by one enemy after another and worst of all the “liberation” of your tyrant turns out to be a bad thing.
when he dropped me off i thanked him for sharing his story, i tipped him well, and even though i was a little buzzed i said, “hold on, wait, i know this phrase, ah yes, a salaam alaikum”
18 And after all this the Lord smote him in his bowels with an incurable disease. 19 In course of time, at the end of two years, his bowels came out because of the disease, and he died in great agony. His people made no fire in his honor, like the fires made for his fathers. 20 He was thirty-two years old when he began to reign, and he reigned eight years in Jerusalem; and he departed with no one’s regret. They buried him in the city of David, but not in the tombs of the kings.
maybe this is why you dont know any dudes named Jehoram?
lesson: live a life in which when you die, your people will wanna make a fire in yr honor
“We must recognize that religious truth evolves and changes. Truth is not absolute or set in stone. Even atheists acknowledge the divine. Through acts of love and charity the atheist acknowledges God as well, and redeems his own soul, becoming an active participant in the redemption of humanity,” Pope Francis told the Third Vatican Council on Christmas. Or if you’re new Pope, Casual Thursday.
“Through humility, soul searching, and prayerful contemplation we have gained a new understanding of certain dogmas. The church no longer believes in a literal hell where people suffer. This doctrine is incompatible with the infinite love of God. God is not a judge but a friend and a lover of humanity. God seeks not to condemn but only to embrace. Like the fable of Adam and Eve, we see hell as a literary device. Hell is merely a metaphor for the isolated soul, which like all souls ultimately will be united in love with God” the Pope declared.