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nothing in here is true

  1. Tuesday, September 1, 2015

    three thoughts from bill murray 

    Bill Murray

    about a year ago the chicago-born comedian was on the howard stern show and they had a really great conversation. here are three interesting little chunks from that chat.

    on being single

    “Well… I do think about that. I do think about that. I’m not sure when I’m getting done here. I have kids—I have children that I’m responsible for—and I enjoy that very much, and that wouldn’t have happened without women. I don’t think I’m lonely. It would be nice to go to some of these things and have a date, have someone to bring along. And to go play golf in Scotland, that would be fun. But there’s a lot that I’m not doing that I need to do—something like working on yourself, self-development, and becoming more connected to myself. I don’t have a problem connecting with people, my problem is connecting with myself. And if I’m not really committing myself really well to that, it’s sort of better that I don’t have another person. I can’t take on another relationship if I’m not taking care of the things I need to take care of the most. What stops us from looking at ourselves is that we’re kind of ugly if we look really hard; we’re not who we think we are, and we’re not as wonderful as we think we are.”

    on what’s great about california

    “In-N-Out Burger is a great hamburger. I remember being in Las Vegas once and for some reason the ride that they give you is a 91-foot limousine, and I said to the [driver], ‘In-N-Out Burger?’ He could barely get this thing through the drive-thru, and while he was in the parking lot trying to get this thing in, I just hopped out and went in. And I tipped him in In-N-Out coupons. It’s a great burger. They do a great job with it. The French fries are made out of real potatoes, the burger is great and you can get it all kinds of ways, and it tastes good. It’s definitely the best franchise burger by a million miles. There’s no comparison. I mean, it’s not even close.”

    on famous whiners

    “I do not like people that complain about being famous, but I say to people, ‘Hey, you want to be rich and famous? Try being rich, and see if that doesn’t cover most of it for you.’ You have a bunch of dough, you can be as kind as you want, and you can be invisible. No one has to know you have a bunch of dough, and you can behave any way you want. You can be a secret kind of person.”

    heres the whole deal:

  2. Friday, May 17, 2013

    bill murray on the last time he ever partied with gilda radner 

    bill murray and gilda radner on saturday night live

    Gilda got married and went away. None of us saw her anymore. There was one good thing: Laraine had a party one night, a great party at her house. And I ended up being the disk jockey. She just had forty-fives, and not that many, so you really had to work the music end of it. There was a collection of like the funniest people in the world at this party. Somehow Sam Kinison sticks in my brain. The whole Monty Python group was there, most of us from the show, a lot of other funny people, and Gilda. Gilda showed up and she’d already had cancer and gone into remission and then had it again, I guess. Anyway she was slim. We hadn’t seen her in a long time. And she started doing, “I’ve got to go,” and she was just going to leave, and I was like, “Going to leave?” It felt like she was going to really leave forever.

    So we started carrying her around, in a way that we could only do with her. We carried her up and down the stairs, around the house, repeatedly, for a long time, until I was exhausted. Then Danny did it for a while. Then I did it again. We just kept carrying her; we did it in teams. We kept carrying her around, but like upside down, every which way—over your shoulder and under your arm, carrying her like luggage. And that went on for more than an hour—maybe an hour and a half—just carrying her around and saying, “She’s leaving! This could be it! Now come on, this could be the last time we see her. Gilda’s leaving, and remember that she was very sick—hello?”

    We worked all aspects of it, but it started with just, “She’s leaving, I don’t know if you’ve said good-bye to her.” And we said good-bye to the same people ten, twenty times, you know.

    And because these people were really funny, every person we’d drag her up to would just do like five minutes on her, with Gilda upside down in this sort of tortured position, which she absolutely loved. She was laughing so hard we could have lost her right then and there.

    It was just one of the best parties I’ve ever been to in my life. I’ll always remember it. It was the last time I saw her.

     – Live from New York: an Uncensored History of Saturday Night Live