busblog

nothing in here is true

  1. Tuesday, September 20, 2016

    today is my moms birthday, shes 24 

    momborn to the first black un-official president of canada and a pittsburgh librarian, my mom was raised in southern Georgia during the turbulent 50s and 60s because her parents knew that their power and influence would be better served in the dirty south than in the Steel City.

    my mom excelled in school, was the homecoming queen, valentines dance queen, rivals week queen and ultimately the queen of the school after her mother sewed her a sparkling dress made of silk, roses, and dreams.

    at 16 years old she went to college after skipping a grade. she had never been away from her parents before and First Day was hosting parties and convincing the young gentlemen of Nashville to buy she and her friends booze, high heels and Motown records. One day she found herself on a bus. she didnt know why she was on the bus, all she knew was she wasnt in Georgia or in class, so… Party! turned out the bus was headed to downtown Nashville where she and her friends would participate in the first Civil Rights protest ever. No Justice, No Peace was penned by the young lady next to her. What Do We Want? Lemonade! was yelled by the thirsty young man a few seats back.

    Once at the rally, the state troopers arrived and threatened to kill everyone. My mom ran and made her way back to the dormitory just in time to receive a telephone call from her parents asking how everything was going. Fine! she said and because long distance phone calls cost so much back then she literally got off the hook and decided she would stick to studying and leave the civil protests to the Others.

    she graduated early, got a scholarship to Indiana to get a double Masters in Russian and Math because her heart wanted to be a UN translator but her Virgo mind said, lets have a practical backup plan. After she graduated she moved to Washington DC at the bequest of her college sweetie and whattya know she found herself in the midst of more political marches led by, no joke, Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. a few years later she was married and produced two children which she raised mostly on her own: one who would become a blogger with a modest following on twitter.

    today my mom refuses to retire. she teaches her grandchildren the beauty of books, the hard work it takes to grow a victory garden, and how to keep the most organized books. THIS WILL NOT BE HACKED she says as she shows her paid bills perfectly filed in her walk-in safe in the basement.

    her home is meticulous and smells of bacon and potpourri. she collects shot glasses and nativity scenes. she has four tvs and three landline phones. the password of her iphone is 666666 because no one would believe it. she has pictures of several of my old girlfriends on doilies atop a variety of end tables. theres african art, modern art, and college diplomas lining the walls leading to the basement.

    she insists i call her after i have had a long flight or emergency assignment from the xbi.

    i cant imagine how boring my life would have been without her guidance over these years because her advice has always been the same: fuck shit up, negro. make me proud.

    happy birthday mom!

  2. Tuesday, June 10, 2014

    today is my truests birthday, shes 24 

    i once dated a girl who got very jealous that i called chris my truest.

    i said jealousy will not get me to call you that so shut it.

    she said but do you love her?

    i said, of course. i love all of my exgirlfriends.

    and one day i will probably still love you.

    she said well if thats the case then what good is your love if you just run around loving everyone.

    i said running around loving everyone is what the truest does the best. she has done it in santa barbara in frisco in oregon in hawaii in san dieger in africa

    and now in new mexico.

    she is almost finished with getting her masters in loving the world from the university of new mexico state

    and she will probably go travel the world and heal all the broken hearts of the planet

    and lord knows they need healing.

    we met in the island of vista on a spring night during a raging party.

    i was with jeanine at the time and now they are very close friends.

    we did so many things together over all of the years and im extremely grateful for all of them.

    i hope she is doing well in the new part of mexico.

    i hope she knows how important she is to me and to the world.

    and i hope the whole chorus of angels who sings her name every time the wind breezes also whispers it in her ears from time to time.

    for there is only one truest and she is magical and wonderful.

    and today we celebrate the day she ascended down from heaven.

  3. Monday, December 19, 2011

    erin thinks of me on her birthday 

    blue and yellow

    she writes:

    My birthday was on Tuesday, I’m 100 years old now.

    When I started blogging Tony Pierce was 103 and I was like 24.

    Now Tony is 103 and I’m 100.

    WTF, he’s like high school girls, always staying the same age while Matthew McCoughnehay keeps getting older.

  4. Wednesday, November 30, 2011

    omg today is Danielle’s birthday 

    omg danielle is having her 24th birthday in the nude

    and omg today she texted me to let me know, but who the hell doesnt know its her special day???

    so i called her back immediately and was all happy birthday happy birthday

    and she was all thanks thanks thanks

    and then she told me the best news i had heard all day

    danielle after many many many failed attempts has found a boyfriend!

    youd think someone as fun and beautiful and funny as danielle should have men lining around the block

    but little known fact about san dieger, where she lives, unfortch, is that its a sorta horrible place

    particularly bad if you are a blonde bombshell with some smarts and a penchant for french films, european tennis, and long walks on the beach ending in hackey sack and white zin

    apparently the san diegan fellas either want to date evil vixens or bubbly brain deads

    but cupid finally found a great guy for our girl and you could hear her beaming over the phone

    which is pretty much the best thing evar.

    so happy birthday Danielle! so glad that things are going better down there!

    now get him to move you back to LA and all will be well!

  5. Saturday, November 26, 2011

    know who’s birthday it is? 

    my sister!

    most people are all, omg you have a sister?

    im all, omg YES

    theyre usually like what does she do?

    im all, if you only knew! its historic. it’s amazing. its nearly impossible.

    but two of the best things shes done in the last 10 years was deliver unto the world

    my sweet niece and nephew.

    she also keeps my mom from being bored.

    she also adopts animals and little black babies.

    yeah, shes pretty much the polar opposite as me, in that instead of being selfish like moi

    she gives herself and her home to the world.

    it’s ridic a bit. and somehow shes going to spend her first Christmas in LA in years.

    very excited about that.

    so happy birthday Angie – cant wait to see you and the little ones next month!

  6. Monday, November 14, 2011

    today is gregg hartling’s birthday, he’s 24 

    gregg and his lovely bride gregg is the reason you like the way the busblog looks

    gregg is the reason you like the way this blog performs

    gregg is the reason when you click the magnifying glass a blimp appears.

    he hand-drew everything you see here. he hand-coded everything else.

    about this time last year i decided that i wanted to switch the nearly decade-old busblog from Blogger to WordPress.

    i wanted to do it for several reasons, one of which was because i wanted to show people at the LA Times what a real wordpress blog could look and act like.

    gregg had worked at the times with me back in the good old days and he was a longtime reader of the busblog even before we had met. thus he was the perfect man for the job.

    getting thousands of posts from blogger to wordpress wasnt easy, and making that little twitter bird was also not so simple, but gregg did it, on budget, and it launched exactly when i wanted it to: during halftime of last years super bowl.

    gregg and his beautiful bride (pictured) are now in costa rica, guatemala, or mexico city or somewhere south of the border, but he is still available to make your blog and/or website as killer as this one is. you can reach him at Incredibly Lifelike.

    i am very grateful to know him and to have worked with him and i wish him a delightful 24th birthday. ole!

  7. Wednesday, November 2, 2011
  8. Monday, October 31, 2011

    today is the xbi boss’s birthday 

    boss's daughter

    there isnt much known about the boss other than he

    a) has a daughter
    b) may have more offspring
    c) is happily married
    d) is from chile
    e) lived for quite a while in canada
    f) has spent good amount of time in the usa
    g) enjoys baseball
    h) babies love him
    i) errryone loves him
    j) doesn’t speak much

    apparently the plan was to get me to re-join the xbi – again – but i went the exact other way and signed on with public radio this fall, as many of you know.

    some people call that the closest thing to socialism in the USA next to working at a post office.

    so the boss’s daughter decided she would try to woo me into joining her daddy’s undercover superhero group herself. but something happened and the canadian xbi, the cix, caused problems for us at the border.

    never one to put his daughter in danger, the boss allowed her to visit me in Hollywood, but quickly removed her from my premises soon after my birthday and now she is back in canada, where i assume he is too.

    ive never met the boss, only spoken to him via Skype, but the way the xbi works, it was entirely a hoax for all i know. either way the gentleman on the other side of the screen was everything i expected: soft spoken, suave, and eerily polite.

    odds are he was reading my mind. sadly for him, the pages in my head are mostly blank or scribbled over.

    legend has it that the boss was quite a rebel back in the day, and nowadays he handles his business in a much more subtle way. nearly zen like, stealthy.

    like the King Ad Rock, the boss’s birthday is Oct 31, which is today.

    we, past present and future xbi agents are all extremely happy that Lucho was born today. the world is better, safer, and funkier thanks to his presence.

    Felis Kumpliåños el Jefe!

  9. Thursday, October 27, 2011

    the birthday celebrations continued last night 

    kit kat ice cream at kanpai

    karisa was busy during my birthday weekend so she invited me to dinner, her treat

    where would you like to go she asked?

    anywhere, i dont care. who cares. i was sad for different reasons than aging.

    if you could go anywhere where would you go? she asked.

    i said i dont care. gimme steak. gimme soul food.

    how about vegan soul food she asked trying to help me be a healthier man. but on my birthday i dont wanna be healthy. i wanna be reckless. i wanna be anything but healthy.

    so we decided on italian in marina del rey.

    but anyone who knows me knows that i am one to easily change his mind, and when i do make an audible, it usually ends up being a safe one to something i love.

    thus Kanpai, the greatest sushi place in the world, and maybe the universe.

    last time i was there, saturday, my man Peter wasnt there, so the lights were not turned off, and a big hub bub was not made.

    but last night Peter was there and Karisa whispered in his ear and in a few minutes the lights were off and Peter said “one of our regular customers, Tony is here to celebrate his birthday…”

    it was so sweet. then someone asked, “what makes him a regular?”

    and peter said, he comes here every week, sometimes more.

    which is so true, cuz its so good, and they are so nice.

    its a little sad i need to freelance as an undercover xbi agent once in a while to pay off my kanpai tabs, but its totally worth it.

    so thank you karisa, and thank you peter and denny and errryone at kanpai for the very very nice evening last night.

  10. Saturday, October 22, 2011