busblog

nothing in here is true

  1. Thursday, October 23, 2014

    delicious bday. people were super nice on the web 

    took a lyft to work and then to kanpai and then home so i could eat drink and be merry

    got to kanpai and my mom had called ahead and gave them her credit card

    which was a pleasant surprise

    chris ali and mary were there.

    so much was eaten and dranken.

    im a very lucky man.

    thank you all for all of it.

    amber was super dooper sweet

    and omg Alyson from Canada – ahahah thank you!

    next year’s is gonna be in vegas.

    why not.

  2. Wednesday, October 22, 2014
  3. today is my birthday, im 24 

    get born

    a million years ago my poor mother was rushed to a hospital in washington dc

    she was not given any pain meds to deliver me because she was told that she would want to feel the once-in-a-lifetime experience of having her first child.

    advice she would now never give another woman, she says.

    birthdays are about the child but i think they should be about the mom.

    my mom’s the greatest and unlike her gynecologist i have done my best to ease her pain as much as possible.

    this isn’t the easiest task because, being somewhat affiliated with the xbi, i am often in the middle of some dangerous situations, and i don’t always succeed.

    likewise i cant really have a steady girlfriend, which means i cannot produce any grandchildren for her.

    fortunately my sister has brought unto the world replicants who look a lot like me and are named after grandma.

    anything impressive that i have done in my crazy twisted life is all due to my mom who continues to be supportive of my wild imagination and bizarre paths. shes supportive the way Marge Simpson is. she may grumble but you know it’s for the right reasons. and often her tone alone will nudge me in the direction she feels is best.

    so happy birthday, mom. thanks for bringing me to this crazy planet filled with beautiful people, wonderful music, and fantastic movies.

    i hope i haven’t freaked you out too much so far.

  4. Monday, September 8, 2014

    today is mary’s birthday shes 24 

    mary and bekka

    born to ohio riverboat captains, mary moved to california on an ice skating scholarship.

    the claremont colleges werent a good fit for the outgoing blonde (seen here “studying” with xbi marine agent bekka) so she jumped ship and started a career in human resources where she excelled.

    one thing led to another and mary is now in venice where she can be seen walking her dog along abbott kinney in a floppy hat

    and smiling and smiling and smiling.

    mary is one of the friendliest people you’ll ever meet. she might not even be from ohio, she may just say that to make you feel better.

    in a past life she was probably a night nurse who would hold you in her arms and whisper sweet everythings to you as you floated back into your medicinal haze.

    what are her goals in life? to marry the richest man west of Lincoln and only wear high heels and g-strings.

    ive never seen mary work out but she maintains a miraculous shape for someone who eats as much gelato as she does.

    she has a beautiful apartment and a terrible stereo system with one john mayer cd.

    she doesnt even know the name of it.

    so would-be suitors: bring your own boombox, but not booze as todays birthday girl is a teetotaler, as are all her closest friends.

    they may all be from another land. like pennsylvania.

  5. Wednesday, August 6, 2014

    today is andy warhols birthday. he changed the world. 

    tumblr_m6b7nm9p7h1r7sjiwo1_500

    Andy Warhol:I wonder if people are going to remember us?

    Edie Sedgwick:What, when we’re dead?

    Andy Warhol:Yeah.

    Edie Sedgwick:Well I think people will talk about how you changed the world.

    Andy Warhol:I wonder what they’ll say about you…in your obituary. I like that word.

    Edie Sedgwick:Nothing nice, I don’t think.

    Andy Warhol:No no, come on. They’d say, “Edith Minturn Sedgwick, beautiful artist and actress…

    Edie Sedgwick:…and all around loon.

    Andy Warhol:…Remembered for setting the world on fire…

    Edie Sedgwick:…and escaping the clutches of her terrifying family…

    Andy Warhol:…Made friends with eeeeeverybody and anybody…

    Edie Sedgwick:…creating chaos and uproar wherever she went. Divorced as many times as she married, she leaves only good wishes behind.” [laughs] That’s nice, isn’t it?

    tumblr_n9w7a3gCNZ1t613gvo1_500

  6. Monday, August 4, 2014

    thirteen years? who woulda thunk it? 

    jayz and tiger woodsyes it’s a pain in the butt sometimes to write on here.

    yes it’s a bit sad that my posts no longer get 40 comments on EVERY post.

    sure it’s a relief that women dont fly across the country to meet me and show me how excited they are to touch me after they find out im not a hologram.

    and yes ive thought about killing this blog, quitting blogging, stopping the presses, from time to time.

    but when it comes down to it, this is a train that has a mind of its own. im just the guy pulling the tooot tooot chain whenever i see a kid walking his billy goat asking me to blare the horn.

    some things in life you plant the seeds and water and then they grow quickly and magically up to the Giant and you really shouldnt take too much credit for it.

    and for sure you shouldnt chop it down. no matter how annoying it can be sometimes. no matter who’s reading – or not reading it.

    is it hard that my mom reads every word? a little, but i love my mom.

    is it difficult that prospective employers, current employers or Haterz read it?

    heres my answer for that.

    they say in order to write well you need to read a lot. some of that is because you should try to learn how certain authors got you from point A to point D.

    but also you should read a lot because it can teach you life lessons.

    one of my favorite books is Mark Twain’s Life On The Mississippi. Twain has influenced me in many ways but most importantly he taught me that it’s ok to just make a whole bunch of stuff up.

    but one thing he didnt make up was his knowledge of being a riverboat captain. and one of the things he talks about in Life on the Mississippi is how hard it can be for captains to steer the boats away from reefs and fallen logs and shallows and sunken boats.

    knowing that people who are looking for reasons to hate you is just like knowing theres evil under that dark rippley water over there.

    knowing that people who love you are reading is like knowing that theres river is bloated from the recent rainfall and you can steer closer to the edge.

    and knowing that co-workers, future employers, and your own HR department are reading is the right amount of boundaries that every writer needs.

    we all need motivation, inspiration, and sidelines.

    the goal, my goal, is to throw the ball so perfectly that the widereceiver can catch it with enough room that only his tippy-toes are in bounds.

    everyone likes those passes the best. but they wouldnt exist without boundaries.

    i am forever grateful to Ev Williams and his team at Blogger for bringing this platform to the masses.

    my world, my paycheck, my sex life, my weird weird weird career path is all due to signing up with Blogger.com 13 years ago and taking what i learned at college and applying it into a simple dialogue box.

    i never thought this would last this long. and i dont expect it to last another 13 years. but if the busblog has taught me one thing it’s there are a lot of things i dont know squat about, so keep typing.

    happy birthday busblog, you’re my favorite of all.

  7. Thursday, July 31, 2014

    todays matt welch’s birthday, he’s 24 

    a couple of years ago he lived in washington dc to measure the drapes of the white house

    and while he was there is hella snowed.

    so he took his camera phone outside, walked around and did a huell howser thing

    and it was terrific.

    now matt is in nyc measuring the carpets and appearing on national cable tv all night.

    he has a beautiful home with two lovely ladies.

    and one day he will be the first libertarian president.

    until then i hope he takes his camera out and walk around some more talking to ppl.

    happy birthday bro! sorry your team is in the american league.

  8. Tuesday, July 29, 2014

    today is clara bow’s birthday, shes 24 

    clara bowclara bow first became famous when she won a magazine contest at 16.

    some pretty girl thing in 1921 to find pretty girls.

    as if that has ever been difficult.

    that lead her to fame and fortune in the silent movie business.

    clara became the original It Girl when she starred in the film It (1927) which was based on a kipling short story that included this couplet:

    It isn’t beauty, so to speak, nor good talk necessarily. It’s just ‘It’.
    Some women will stay in a man’s memory if they once walk down the street.

    Bow had it. at the peak of her career she was getting 10s of thousands of letters from fans a week.

    even though talkies moved in, she was able to adjust, but she didn’t want to. she didnt like them. she found them limiting.

    she got married in 1931 and retired from movies in 1933.

    bow had some unfortunate health issues later in her life and received shock treatment for her insomnia and mental instability. that didnt cure her and when she died in her 60s of a heart attack the autopsy discovered she had a separate, undetected heart attack earlier in her life.

    one of her pall bearers was the boxing champ Jack Dempsey.

    despite being known for her beauty, bow should also be remembered for her struggle to be unique in tinseltown, which isn’t always easy for It girls.

    “They yell at me to be dignified. But what are the dignified people like? The people who are held up as examples for me? They are snobs. Frightful snobs … I’m a curiosity in Hollywood. I’m a big freak, because I’m myself!”

  9. Friday, June 6, 2014

    today is michele’s birthday, shes 24 

    she had the hottest stockings on.

    shoes with things scribbled on them.

    crazy hair and glasses and pale skin and the bluest eyes.

    native californian, malibu, incredible family, everything.

    but all i saw were those ripped fishnets and i was all mama mia

    i didnt know anyone. i worked at mcdonalds. i was seventeen.

    how was i gonna talk to her. everything said go away. except her fantastic red lipstick.

    we were sitting in the outdoor amphitheater at santa monica college.

    once a week a band played at noon.

    id only had one girlfriend before in my whole life and at that point even that seemed like a crazy dream.

    no way did i ever think she’d turn into my second girlfriend. especially over three years.

    pretty sure i had an iron maiden shirt on.

    pretty sure i wouldnt have cared about poetry without her

    or lots of things.

    shes an author now. published.

    i got one of her books

    off amazon.

  10. Thursday, March 27, 2014

    today is Quentin Tarantinos birthday, hes 51 

    Quentin Tarantino and miss piggy

    the fact that my mom liked Django is amazing. she hates swearing.

    and the miracle that my mom liked Pulp Fiction is testament to Quentin’s genius.

    he bought a movie theatre in Hollywood. a little one-screener that he used to go to when he was a kid.

    they have double features there and sometimes he even shows up, because hes a movie nerd.

    it’s not really talked about that much, and i wouldn’t say it’s even considered “cool”.

    it just is.

    if you asked most people about the New Beverly i bet they wouldnt know who owns it

    and if they could even tell you where it is (on beverly) theyd probably just say

    it is a simple place that plays weird movies.

    new beverly

    sometimes if im stuck in traffic i’ll take a picture of the marquee to research the films later

    quentin got the place when news was made that it was going to shutter because the landlord wanted to tear it down and build

    so he bought it and said

    “As long as I’m alive, and as long as I’m rich, the New Beverly will be there, showing double features in 35mm.”

    actually cool.