nothing in here is true

  1. Monday, May 11, 2020

    today is my first girlfriend’s birthday 

    have i always been lucky in love?

    yes but it never felt like it.

    usually i wanted more. especially when i was young, i felt alone. i felt like everything was a long distance relationship.

    back then you had to pay actual money to make long distance phone calls. major props to my mom for paying those crazy phone bills. major love to the post office for sending my little missives.

    back then there werent blogs or email or even electricity so you would whisper something into the ear of an indian and he would ride his horse to the next state over and whisper it into the ear of the next indian who would ride his pony to the next state. and so on and so on.

    finally when the last indian got to the pretty girl he would dance your message to her and she would hopefully understand every word and the spaces inbetween.

    it was called the tony express.

    mary was taller than me and smarter and softer and cooler and she would write actual letters

    on stationary. in different colored pens. and cool envelopes.

    every day we would write and confess our love even though we didn’t truly know what love was technically. we were teens. we were so midwestern. we were so wanting to live the california life.

    first her. then me.

    but never we.

    not out here at least. not for any period of time more than a few days.

    so i sent her a bear. and in the arms of the bear was a cub.

    and in the cub was a piece of my heart.

    and back then the indians would charge extra for shit like that.

    but i had extra.

  2. Thursday, February 13, 2020

    ten things i love about amber 

    1. she works at a fancy hotel. her job is to make magic happen for the guests who are used to having magic happen for them.

    she makes the magic happen. every day.

    last month she was nominated by two departments for employee of the month. she’s only in one department so that means a totally separate dept. said, yeah our people are good, but amber was better.

    2. she loves Tehachapi. no matter where we go, where we are, she says “you know, this reminds me of Tehachapi.”

    sometimes i have to remind her that we are at a Wendys. doesn’t matter. she will stand by her statement.

    she wants to build a small resort there. i tell her no one wants to vacation there. she says people used to say that about Alaska, now theres boats going up there all the time. Cruise ships even. actually she doesnt say that part, but i can read minds and thats what she was thinking.

    3. she is a master at organizing her bills. she uses flash cards and paper clips. And a computer. she will never get a late fee. #goals

    4. i have had the good fortune of being lucky in love. she has never told me once to stop touching her. i think only one or two of my former girlfriends shared that trait. is this TMI? sorry. anyways, i like to touch her to make sure im not dreaming. in dreams weird things happen when you try to touch people or things. usually my hand will go right through or it will turn to sand.

    5. she can cry at the drop of a dime. or a penny. or a quarter. she loves change and hates to see gravity abuse it. but seriously we can be driving down the street and we’ll talk about something and immediately her face will scrunch up and turn red and she’ll say Mario told me he would get me insulin the next time his brother goes to Mexico. and tears will appear. unlike me, she doesnt cry in movies though. weird.

    6. speaking of movies. one reason i love her is she is super loud in movies. either rustling with candy or fidgeting in her chair. she picks the quietest times to do the loudest wrapper opening and i will say shush. and she will do it really slow WHICH IS WORSE but it makes me laugh inside.

    7. she might be part Gemini because she can change her mind superfast. which i like because i love Geminis. so in a way it’s like having a couple girlfriends at once. which is every mans dream sorta.

    8. anyways today is her birthday. she wont let me take her out to dinner because she has a road trip planned for later this month. sorta love that too.

    9. she has never once pestered me to go out to party with her. she’s on the wagon. enjoys our home. and sees very little need to do much outside these four walls other than eat Thai food or drink Starbucks. being that im a million years old, i appreciate that lack of pressure.

    10. i dont think she knows anything about baseball football or basketball. but she will go to any game i get tickets to. and she will have a great time. mostly because in her head she is storing information so she can better aid her hotel guests if they ever ask something nutty like, “hows the sushi at Staples Center?” and she’ll know. angel.

  3. Tuesday, August 20, 2019

    do you know whose birthday it is? the busblog’s! 


    18 years old.

    you know how old that is in Internet years? like wayyyy past retirement.

    this blog has been a Godsend.

    i have met people from around the world cuz of it. pretty girls and drunken dudes.

    at least two foreign governments have flown me to their land to have me experience their worlds and write about it here.

    sounds crazy but it’s true.

    this blog has never demanded anything from me and i love that.

    over the last few years i haven’t written in it as much as i used to, but this blog doesnt care.

    it knows what it is and doesn’t need constant validation.

    its like that mysterious foggy swamp near the mississip, it’s fine all by itself

    but if you’re curious enough to explore it, you’ll be mystified by the twists and turns

    sometimes beautiful, sometimes fugly, but never boring.

    how many anythings with over 12,000 posts can say that?

    i love you busblog, 42nd wonder of the world.

    proclaimer of peace love and soul.

    uniter of peoples, home of photos stolen from the www

    graveyard of beautiful lies, half truths, and accidental wisdom.

    will this go on for another 18 years?



    god willing.

    the only question will be, will you stick around for the ride?

    i hope so, because i’ll tell you something, i can see the future and the next 8 years is going to be

    cooler than the last.

    that is my guarantee to you.

    so strap in, pass around the juice boxes, and say yr prayers.

  4. Sunday, February 10, 2019

    fuck yeah greg mcilvaine 

    last night, in a beautifully appointed rented soundstage in atwater village

    greg vaine, your boy, invited bandmates from groups he’s rocked with since he was a teen,

    to his time in isla vista,


    and now back in LA.

    there were reunions, surprises, cover tunes, a taco hat,

    multiple costume changes,

    it could have gone on all weekend.

    it’s a testament to how loved greg is and how many different genres of music are better when he’s on guitar.

    i hope we do this every 50 years.

  5. Friday, August 17, 2018

    happy birthday to my all time favorite blog about busses 

    do you remember everything? like how this started?

    like how you were frustrated and sad and felt like your life would add up to nothing?

    do you remember how Blogger used to crash all the time, several times a day

    and you had to write to support and Real People would write you back and say oh try this

    or oh we did this for you

    and it was all free and it was nice and you sorta made friends with them, virtually anyway, because they were good souls?

    does anyone remember laughter or 40 comments on every post or blog rolls or

    the all powerful technorati 100?

    of course you don’t, youre so young and so much has gone under the bridge

    i dont remember half of it but this blog, my blog, the weirdest thing ive ever made, documented most of it

    due to broken links and poor planning a lot of the pictures are gone

    and the pictures made it so much better

    but the tales are somewhere in here. fond memories of not so fond experiences sometimes.

    and fortunately the only thing that was true

    was you.

    and i thank you.

    happy 17th birthday, busblog of hope.

    thank you for refreshing my memory.

  6. Friday, March 23, 2018

    today is liana’s birthday, the only liana ive ever known 

    here we are at the premier of kill bill 2, one of my all time favorite movies.

    do you know rare that is, when you get to go somewhere with someone you like, and its free, and they give you free popcorn and coke,

    and some cool toys and a poster

    AND it turns out that you love the movie?

    what i also like about this picture is her Flip Phone.

    before smart phones there were flip phones. pretty sure in that picture she’s saying, “hello, police, i really dont know this person, can you rescue me?”

    last night it rained and rained and it sounded so good on the window

    amber, who had been napping since she got home, woke up around 11pm

    and said, i am so lucky. and she delivered this sweet little list of all the things she is grateful for.

    i said, i am grateful too.

    and i am.

    so much of my life has been free popcorn, incredible girlfriends, and favorite movies ever.

    and toys and free stuff and flip phones.

    today it’s super sunny out because the angels above want Liana to have a happy birthday today and i hope she has one because she is cool.

  7. Tuesday, February 20, 2018

    today is kurt cobain’s birthday, he would have been 51 

    when i was driving the Royal Blood bassist from WeHo to DTLA he told me he was gonna be playing at the Forum in a few days.

    I said, oooooh the Forum. I have seen many great shows there.

    he said, like who?

    i said, well The Cars, Manson, Clapton, Weezer, Nirvana, Kiss

    he said, Nirvana? How were they?

    i said, it was for charity and the Butthole Surfers opened. i sat all the way in the back. and they did something that i only saw once with Bob Dylan at the Arlington Theater… Dylan started the show sorta drunk but as it progressed it was obvious that the booze had been replaced with water, and by halftime Dylan had sobered up and was sooooo perfect.

    the same happened with Nirvana. Kurdt seemed spaced out and super chill, but as they settled in the got louder and gnarlier and i dont know if the heroin was wearing off or the weed, but it got better and better.

    they played Teen Spirit like 5th on the playlist. sorta to get it out of the way.

    very punk rock. very “if you were here for the hit you can go home now.”

    i have many things that i am supremely grateful for: namely the women i have had the great good fortune to know in my life, but seeing Nirvana live is way up there. and i take none of it for granted.

  8. Wednesday, February 14, 2018

    sometimes oprah sends amber flowers 

    she is a good girl.

    yesterday i met her near Rodeo after work. it is nice to work near each other.

    i was all, today is your birthday, where would you go if this was your last day on Earth?

    she said !!!!

    i said, no, for dinner?

    all through the day i had been conferring with the ladies at work where to take her. some mentioned this fancy restaurant, others suggested another one.

    so i was prepared.

    but i wasnt ready for her answer.

    CHEESECAKE FACTORY she squealed.

    i was all, ok. but what would you eat there?

    she said salad AND CHEESECAKE!

    so we drove over to the Grove and there was a big line of traffic, she said i hate traffic lets get some pho instead. so i drove that way. on the way she said you know what id really love to do right now? shop at the 99 Cent Store. i was all, you really are a dream come true. what do you want there? she said celery. AND CHEESECAKE! so we drove to the one on La Brea and walked around and all was well. and when it was over and she allowed me to pay her $14 bill, she said, ok im done. lets eat.

    then she said, did you know today is Fat Tuesday? i said no. she said what food would be good for that? i said shrimp!

    so we ended up at Seafood Express which is not romantic, def not something id see written about in Oprah’s magazine, and the furthest thing from what the ladies of the office suggested, and trust me when i tell you that they let me have it today at work when i reported back.

    but man the food was good and we got to see the ice skaters do their thing as we dined on soup and spicy garlicness.

    so heres to amber on her birthday and i hope she continues to embrace her true self.

  9. Thursday, November 30, 2017

    today is danielle’s birthday, shes 24 

    here’s whats sad about this day. i think it’s been more than a year since ive seen My Love.

    it’s been so long that the place where we met, where this beautiful photo of her was captured, is no longer there.

    danielle and i met at E! which is no longer at 5750 Wilshire. the halls where she once skipped are occupied by another.

    this is what happens when you move to san dieger, LA gets sad and tries to move on, but it never does.

    the irony is danielle left to study french film and now im the one in the heart of cinema. im the one driving up and down hills of pacific palisades watching the sunset, sighing, wondering if danielle is seeing the same colors

    breathing the same breezes

    chasing the same sea gulls.

    for those of you who miss her blog, danielle is still living large with her doctor beau. she is still as stylish as ever and she still has exquisite taste. during the summer Amber needed a place to Air BnB down in san diego and i inquired from danielle if she would rent out her pad for the weekend. she said she would let Amber stay there for freeee. which is the right price.

    when amber got there she called me and said danielles place is phenomenal. everything here is beautiful and girly and classy and just right. it’s a dream inside of a wish.

    which is the perfect way to describe todays birthday girl herself.

  10. Monday, October 23, 2017


    yesterday was my birthday

    i woke up and the bears were already up by two tds and i had this pretty girl next to me asking if i wanted an egg sandwich

    her name is amber.

    when she returned from the kitchen she looked at me

    and i was watching the end of the game

    and she looked at me again

    and again until i looked back.

    when i did she looked down at a huge box

    i opened the box and it was something ive wanted for a long time but never felt right spending the money on. it was this big Marshall bluetooth stereo.

    amber was never one to play a lot of music around the house and one thing she has noticed with me is i have music on all the time.

    one day we were in the best buy and we just wandered and i showed her what i wanted but i never thought she was taking notes.

    after that i opened my moms gift box which was equally huge, filled with all the things i really wanted too: white socks, candy, and a bonus Amazon gift card. thanks mom!

    then we met up with chris and sass and her man and we dined at hollywood oldest restaurant, musso and franks.

    then we went to hamilton. which, if you havent heard is pretty good. but looooong. woah. it musta taken that guy forever to write it.

    very inspirational that way. i will never whine about how long something takes to write after sitting through 3 hours of rap and song and dance which had to have taken years to fine tune that perfectly.

    at halftime amber wanted to pee but the lines went all the way back to the 18th century.

    i noticed by the front door it said you could get back in if you have your ticket. so we went next door to the emptish frolic room. while i waited for her at the bar i ordered a Bailey’s neat.

    the shot of rum at dinner had gotten me buzzed because i hardly drink any more. so the Baileys just took the edge off of that.

    for some reason this birthday had made me nervous. maybe it was because i knew Hamilton would be the big part of it and it’s gotten so much hype. somehow that energy turned negative and got all up in me. hard to explain.

    im such a sensitive poet.

    i do feel everything.

    we took the subway home, met these walking dead contest winners from west virginia

    watched when the cast of hamilton went to the white house

    ate cake

    and thanked the Lord for all of everything.

    i am so lucky it’s crazy how many things ive gotten to do.


    there’s a million things I haven’t done

    but just you wait