nothing in here is true

  1. Friday, June 6, 2014

    today is michele’s birthday, shes 24 

    she had the hottest stockings on.

    shoes with things scribbled on them.

    crazy hair and glasses and pale skin and the bluest eyes.

    native californian, malibu, incredible family, everything.

    but all i saw were those ripped fishnets and i was all mama mia

    i didnt know anyone. i worked at mcdonalds. i was seventeen.

    how was i gonna talk to her. everything said go away. except her fantastic red lipstick.

    we were sitting in the outdoor amphitheater at santa monica college.

    once a week a band played at noon.

    id only had one girlfriend before in my whole life and at that point even that seemed like a crazy dream.

    no way did i ever think she’d turn into my second girlfriend. especially over three years.

    pretty sure i had an iron maiden shirt on.

    pretty sure i wouldnt have cared about poetry without her

    or lots of things.

    shes an author now. published.

    i got one of her books

    off amazon.

  2. Thursday, March 27, 2014

    today is Quentin Tarantinos birthday, hes 51 

    Quentin Tarantino and miss piggy

    the fact that my mom liked Django is amazing. she hates swearing.

    and the miracle that my mom liked Pulp Fiction is testament to Quentin’s genius.

    he bought a movie theatre in Hollywood. a little one-screener that he used to go to when he was a kid.

    they have double features there and sometimes he even shows up, because hes a movie nerd.

    it’s not really talked about that much, and i wouldn’t say it’s even considered “cool”.

    it just is.

    if you asked most people about the New Beverly i bet they wouldnt know who owns it

    and if they could even tell you where it is (on beverly) theyd probably just say

    it is a simple place that plays weird movies.

    new beverly

    sometimes if im stuck in traffic i’ll take a picture of the marquee to research the films later

    quentin got the place when news was made that it was going to shutter because the landlord wanted to tear it down and build

    so he bought it and said

    “As long as I’m alive, and as long as I’m rich, the New Beverly will be there, showing double features in 35mm.”

    actually cool.



  3. Thursday, February 13, 2014

    today is jeanine’s birthday, shes 24 

    jeanine volcano

    jeanine has been one of my closest friends since i first seduced her in isla vista on cordova ave.

    a few weeks later she tried to kill herself, but it didnt take, so she, for some reason considers me her guardian angel instead of The Cause of All Misery, which is why she’s wonderful.

    like many close friends there are times when we laugh cry and scream at each other. sometimes in the same conversation.

    jeanine is going through a lot right now. she has experienced some deaths in her family, she has a very demanding career, and she is doing her best to detox from booze all by herself.

    like beyonce, shes an independent woman. unlike queen b, jeanine has no jay-z with benjamins to help smooth the road to success.

    yesterday i got a text message that she had a seizure at work and was rushed to the hospital.

    about an hour later i got another text from her boss saying “please call me tony” and i panicked because i thought she had died in the hospital.

    i was terrified to call because i didnt want to hear that news. i thought about all of the things that i wanted her to do with the next 100 years of her life and one of them being that i wanted her to teach my kids how to be guitar heroes.

    fortunately she is still alive. and kicking. and joking. and beautiful. and wonderful. and i am so happy and relieved.

    i love her so much and i look forward to dining with her tonight.

    happy birthday amazing aquarius!

  4. Thursday, January 23, 2014

    today is lindsay’s birthday, she is 24 

    lindsay with the french fry bag

    ive met some very cool people because of this blog

    way more than i ever expected.

    todays birthday girl is one of the coolest.

    i think she still works for your favorite pizza place

    i think she still lives in the midwest

    i think she is still involved with a billionaire.

    i dont think she still reads the world famous busblog.

    i think she still listens to springsteen.

    i wish she still blogged so we could find out about her dog.

    today i think she actually turns 29.

    whatever the facts, i wish her a happy birthday today and i think you do too.

  5. Friday, January 17, 2014
  6. Saturday, January 11, 2014

    todays ashley’s birthday, shes 32 

    ashleyashley often complains that i use old photos of her on here so this is a recent one from around halloween.

    hard to believe it has been 13 years since the busblog was first introduced to the daisy princess.

    since then somethings have changed and some have stayed the same.

    yes she still lives in las vegas

    as you can see she still has beautiful hair

    she is the mother of a gorgeous little girl

    she still adores miss drew barrymore

    she is still running (with her bff anne) the perfectly named Drewseum.

    she still has two sisters

    her favorite movie is still Scream

    she still loves coming to hollywood and visiting places where her favorite movies were shot

    halloween is still her favorite day of the year

    she still loves diet coke

    she still loves disneyland

    her favorite band is still no doubt

    and her first stop on the web every day is still the world famous busblog, incorporated, llc

    when i was sports editor of the daily nexus i had an assistant who was so much more suited for the job that i stepped down and let her take over

    rarely have i had that feeling about any gig ive had

    and as much as i love my new job, if ashley lived in LA id be tempted to hand it over to her because she would be fantastic at it and i think about her all the time when i’m assigned things.

    but ashley has a very important role on the planet and it is based in the magical town in the desert, which is still her favorite place in the world.

  7. Thursday, January 9, 2014
  8. Wednesday, December 25, 2013

    two thousand and 14 years ago today a little baby had a price on his head 

    little house

    dude wasnt even born yet and the king of the land wanted him murdered.

    the baby’s dad had one job. get a motel room.

    bro didn’t have to impregnate the momma, didnt have to have a good job, big house, nothing

    just had to find a place to deliver this angel unto the world.

    today is the birthday of an actual angel.

    the dictionary says an angel is “a spiritual being believed to act as an attendant, agent, or messenger of God, conventionally represented in human form with wings and a long robe.”

    so minus the wings thats what todays birthday boy was: a living angel sent here to be our agent


    and attendant.

    when i think about Christianity i think about those things.

    even in the old testament humans were made by God to attend to the Earth and all the cool freaky things down here

    and some of the freaky things are the people who wanna get in the way of Good.

    or who i find more interesting: the people who get in the way and don’t even realize it.

    Herod wasn’t the only hater Jesus had in his life.

    in fact it’s easier to count the number of people who were all Team Jesus than those who weren’t buying it.

    even his so called disciples turned their back on him – and worse, their hearts – at some point.

    but Jesus kept on trucking because he knew his role: to be our attendant - and who are we?

    idiots who eat apples because talking snakes tell us to.

    morons who lose our minds over things that look pretty in the right light.

    and lemmings who fall for the same traps that our predecessors did no matter how much we claim we’ve learned.

    thats who Jesus signed up to sacrifice everything for

    for some unknown reason thats never fully explained in the good book

    which means it could only be one thing

    if it’s not logical, it must be for love.

    happy birthday you crazy angel

    thank you for making us in your loving image.

    for no good reason other than to see what else can be done using true angelic love.

  9. Friday, December 20, 2013

    today is kristin pony’s birthday, shes 24 


    if i was president obama theres a few people who id force to blog.

    todays birthday girl is on that list.

    others include: splink

    jennifer lawrence

    courtney love

    vp biden

    hologram tupac

    bob dylan

    and the entire supreme court

    of course theyd probably assassinate me

    but when i got to the pearly gates id get a high five from st. peter for trying.

  10. Sunday, December 15, 2013

    yesterday was tyler’s birthday, he is nine 

    shortsop tyler

    to misquote president obama, if i had a son he’d look a lot like my sisters son tyler.

    he’d be light skinned, thin, and hopefully a switch-hitting shortstop batting lead-off.

    he’s introverted, focused, cantankerous, and melts in the presence of his adopted little sister.

    tyler is the kind of guy who would be drafted in the first round by the chicago white sox

    and refuse to sign because he’s a cub fan.

    he’s stubborn, talks trash while creaming you at video games, and impervious to bs

    he will watch the demo mode of madden studying the invisible wrinkle in the matrix

    so as to use it against you in the 4th quarter when it matters

    he has no interest in food, chit-chat, or mindless banter – and never has.

    but if he hears Psy or the Wiggles on the tv, he’ll take the thumb out of his mouth

    and dance like a freak.

    might even take off his damn pants.

    or better yet, take a disco nap on the dog

    in the cage


    you can’t stop him, you can only contain him.

    god bless you little man. don’t ever change.