busblog

nothing in here is true

  1. Tuesday, April 24, 2018

    why i dont care if you dont like this blog, by tony pierce 

    once you start caring what John thinks, you’re gonna care about what Paul, George and Ringo think.

    and fuck Ringo.

    once you start caring what Beyonce, Michelle, and Kendrick think, you’re gonna have to care about what Bruno thinks

    and fuck Bruno too.

    i dont mean that in a mean way i mean that in a Bruno shouldnt care what the busblog thinks either.

    people should just do their own things in as close to a vacuum as they can

    because before we know it we are going to be like Kansas: dust in the wind

    and the kids who see what little evidence we have of our existences are going to see what we wrote

    and if what we wrote was bullshit like OMG Trump Rulez or OMG USC helped South Central become what it is today

    well, those kids will laugh and dismiss you forever and your legacy will be tainted.

    however, if what you wrote was true and pure and honest and filled with soul and black girl magic then they will gobble all the rest of it up too.

    and they will see that one page of a great blog is different on each page and each month and each year.

    what you are reading is a 17 year work in progress. and it has progressed and changed and gone through ups and downs

    as it has stretched and risen and flown and grown.

    thats what good things do.

    so if some fool takes a stab at one page and disregards the hundreds others, well

    fuck Ringo and Bruno and Hater 1 and Hater 2

    this aint for you anyways.

    this is for the far-aways.

  2. Tuesday, April 17, 2018

    today i learned Stiff is worth $90? 

    sometimes when i get low i think what have i done so far and i think NOTHING

    such a question is so subjective because what is value? what is the right answer? who cares what youve bought or “earned” or made.

    but tonight i was looking for a Blogger hoodie because i am wearing one right now and i want to wear it a lot because i love it so it would be great to have a backup.

    so i went to ebay and one thing lead to another and there i was searching my name to see what would pop up

    and holy cow there’s Stiff and someone thinks it’s worth a ton of cash.

    i mean, it is the best thing ive ever written, and it is good, and i am proud of it because it’s wild and creative and

    ALL ME

    and i love it.

    but never did i think it would be worth that much.

    the seller has a bunch of images from the book like where i signed it. for some reason i just signed it Long Live Vegas which i totally agree with but it gives me no hint as to who i had sold it to.

    but the best was the thanks.

    it made me laugh because i forgot what i wrote there.

    because Stiff is an extension of some of the weirdest stuff from How to Blog i wanted to be honest about that

    and i also wanted to acknowledge that the rest of it originally came from this, the world famous blah blog, i thanked myself

    “for the use of my own shit”.

    i have had a good life. i have nothing to be ashamed of. i have nothing to fear about whatever comes next. there is no pressure other than to peak ontop of peak

    and to clean out the kitty litter tomorrow because it’s stinky.

    and whatever book i write next i want it to one day get sold for $200.

    thank you Blogger for all that youve given me,

    because sometimes all we need is a bigass canvas in which to rock.

  3. Sunday, February 11, 2018

    they want what you have 

    one of the more fascinating things about my life is at almost every turn

    and i dont say this as a victim, even though it may come across that way,

    but people want what i have.

    and then they ruin it.

    since day one people have told me how to run this blog: what to put on it, what to delete, what to change up

    theyve had plenty of time to make their own blogs. do they do it? nope.

    three times ive been paid money to run other peoples blogs

    each time the blogs i was handed were ok, and i turned them into something way better than ok.

    and then, after i leave, poof theyre gone, after others swore they wanted to improve them.

    but theyre gone.

    it’s almost like living in a house and no one plays the piano, but then i start playing it

    and it sounds beautiful after a while. and all these people gather to listen and applaud.

    then someone else takes the piano, rolls it down the street, and throws it into the grand canyon.

    maybe thats my lot in life. maybe thats what satan and the lord are doing, like im Job

    but instead of giving me warts all over my body and killing my family to see if i crack

    they just give me notes all day and when im not looking try to murder the sand castles i build.

    but the cubs won the world series, haters, i will never crack now.

  4. Monday, December 18, 2017

    10 years ago today i started working at the LA Times 

    it was a dream come true.

    it had been something i had been thinking about since i had been in college.

    and there i was.

    and my shirt and sweater were dumb, and my pants were weird, and i didnt know what shoes to wear

    and part of me was thinking “you’re the Blog Guy, you can be weird if you want!”

    and most of me was thinking, “you gotta be able to get the print people to like and respect you SELL OUT SELL OUT!”

    i dont think ive worn that shirt ever since, and i gave that sweater to the poor last Christmas.

    totally forgot it was famous.

    thats me and then-publisher David Hiller who right after that picture was taken said, “youre the blog expert, I have a blog but it isn’t very good. Do you have any advice?”

    i said, “Mr. Hiller, I have some bad news for you. You have a great life and I have learned a little pattern over the years: Good life, crappy blog. Crappy life, great blog.” He laughed and I don’t think he ever blogged again.

    as you can see from the stats at the bottom of this, 2017 will be the least prolific year in the 16 years of writing this blog. this will be post #311 this year with about two weeks left. some years i wrote 800 or 900 posts. OF GENIUS!

    why so few this year?

    is it because i have had a Good Life?

    sure, let’s pretend that that’s the reason.

    #goodlife

  5. Wednesday, October 25, 2017

    do you know whats funny about life? 

    everything.

    hi little blog. hi tony. hi little magic thing.

    hi tony.

    hi little everything.

    hi tony.

    hi little secret weapon. hi tony.

    do you know how many times the xbi tried to shut you down?

    yes tony.

    do you know how many lies ive told in here? none tony.

    do you know how many jobs and monies and girls and trips and doors have opened because of you. fuck yes tony.

    do you know how often i used to think of you and now i dont.  no tony.

    i once had this beautiful cuban girlfriend who listened to gwen stefani and cooked for me and hugged me and joked but she had this purple imac, one of the new ones and back then id blog three times a day and she didnt like coming to my side of town but i didnt like blogging on her computer

    and weirdly that may have been the thing that stopped us from being together forever

    but thats not true tony

    i know. i know.

    nothing in here is true.

    (except the weird magic.)

    like you.

  6. Monday, August 28, 2017

    shout out to Funky Cold Mark Medina who is heading to the Warriors 

    One of the funnest parts of overseeing the blogs at the LAT way back in the day was our sports blogs.

    the Lakers Blog was one of the first blogs at the Times and it was already a monster before I ever got there.

    i was able to convince LA’s best Dodger blogger to blog for us, and i was able to do it without costing the paper a lot of money (because we had just gotten rid of some salary elsewhere).

    but when ESPN poached the Kam Bros I was suddenly lost because i never expected them to leave us.

    I tried everything in the book to convince them to stay saying things like, “radio isn’t where intellectuals go, it’s where washed up journalists and jocks go. You are both young, pretty, full of life, do you really want Bill from Downey to tell you that he thinks Kobe should pass the rock all day?”

    it didn’t work, The Sports Leader ganked the brothers and I had a giant hole to fill.

    at first I decided to replace them American Idol style by having 4-5 contenders take over the blog, one applicant per week, and at the end of the trial period we let the readers vote.

    but life is rarely that exciting. so we interviewed this guy from that paper and this other dude from this other paper. they were fine.

    but Mark Medina had something special that i liked: he was young, totally down for Whatever, and somehow it came up that he lived in El Segundo so he could be close to the Lakers and Clippers practice facilities.

    i was all, this is the sort of insane fan/pro that i need to write 3-4 blog posts a day.

    so we hired him and expected the worst because the Kams totally dominated the Lakers blogosphere up until that point.

    and part of their popularity was the fact that they’d get 100s of comments a day. Could Mark mix it up in the comments AND go to practices AND interview the players AND cut videos AND go to all the games AND give me half or 3/4ths the traffic that the Kams did?

    weirdly he Could!

    in a total shocker, many of the readers did not follow the Kams to ESPN, they stayed loyal, for reasons I still don’t know (habit maybe), with the Times.

    people asked, is Mark really that good of a writer? what’s his secret?

    and maybe the secret was the readers saw what I saw: Funky Cold truly loved the game, was earnest, wasn’t full of shit, and was personable.

    and for two years straight his numbers were consistent with the kings, the Kams.

    Mark was so friendly that when Ron Artest (aka Metta World Peace) first retired from the Lakers he gave a shout out to Funky Cold.

    Today Mark announced that the San Jose Mercury is hiring him to cover the world champion Warriors.

    Last night he called me to tell me he was going to announce it all today. He thanked me for the help I gave him at the Times.

    But the truth is, he wrote everything, he did 60+ hour work weeks, he studied film, he worked as hard as anyone out there.

    I am Very happy for him. Boring as that team will be to cover, at least he will get to go to a few more postseason games than if he was stuck covering the Lakers.

    Give em hell Mark!

  7. Thursday, August 3, 2017

    todays the busblogs birthday, it’s sweet sixteen 

    sixteen years ago i was doing some washing by the river.

    i looked into the weeds and there i saw a little tiny raft and a blog wrapped tightly in a blanket.

    i swam over to the scene and the blog was barely alive. it was ugly. it had very little to say other than ba baaa

    i said, is that your name?

    it said ba baaaaa

    i said busblog?

    and then i saw a stream of urine seep down its leg.

    i picked it up and dunked it into the river to wash it and a light shot down from the Heavens

    apparently i had inadvertently baptised it AND named it.

    son of a!

    when i looked back to the now-empty dingy i spotted a Post It which had been placed on the blog’s head

    on it was written a curious phrase

    nothing in here is true.

    i gave it a home on my url: tonypierce.com/blog/bloggy.htm

    it wasn’t grand or interesting because at the time i didn’t think it would survive the night.

    but alas, quickly it grew and grew and everyone wanted to see the little thing.

    i said, what about my fully formed website?

    they said, but your beautiful baby blog is fantastic!

    and it grew and as it did i learned it had magical powers beyond my wildest dreams.

    and every year it did something weirder and more beautiful than the last.

    and now it’s 16 and wants to drive.

    so be it.

    happy birthday blog of my dreams.

    thank you for coming into my life.

  8. Thursday, June 29, 2017

    someone said, we’re getting old T, what about our legacy 

    i said real friends dont call me T

    he was like, yeah but like the Sopranos…

    i said, when you see Tony Soprano be my guest to call him that.

    he continued, ok whatever, but what about our legacy? are you gonna write any more books or do something big so that when you’re gone the people will remember you and will say ‘yeah but tony pierce, he was the shit.”

    i said, no one remembers no one. not for the right reasons at least.

    plus thats the biggest fakeout around.

    consider Buster Keaton. dude was doing stunts that even the cops today wouldnt allow.

    bro said more with his eyes than actors today can say with the best scripts

    but you know how many times i see anyone with a Buster Keaton shirt

    or read about how this guy is the modern day Keaton?

    how about never.

    theres only one person who needs to know our names when we die

    and thats Jesus.

    worrying about whether tom dick or harrys grandkids or great grandkids are gonna read Stiff or How to Blog or The House on the Hill

    or omg Ilka is a giant waste of time

    not only will they not read it, but in the rare chance they stumble across it due to some weird ass SEO or a Throwback Thursday 3000, they wont understand it or relate or they’ll get distracted by the lowercase

    just like these days

    which is why i put up pictures.

    hi future.

    sorry about the air and water.

  9. Saturday, June 17, 2017

    you can say anything you want to about me 

    you can say my clothes are terrible

    or i ended up fat

    but one thing you cant say is you couldnt get hold of me.

    where is this world where people melt into when you send out an email or text

    and they don’t get back for 5-6 hours?

    where do those people go?

    me, i have my phone on me at all times, you know, like a normal person.

    if im in a movie, fine, out of commish for 2 hours. but 4?

    and during the week i get even more baffled.

    during work hours shouldnt you be available within minutes? whats up with being out of pocket for half the day?

    this last two days people have contacted me via email, text, facebook messenger, LinkedIn chat, Slack, Snapchat message, Instagram message and even the good old phone.

    pretty girl this morning even rolled over and whispered something in my ear.

    we live in the age of communication and i wonder about the ones who peace out for so long.

    i wonder if

    they can

    take me

    with them.

  10. Wednesday, December 21, 2016

    pretty girl was all, whats with all the pretty girls on your insta 

    i was like, i have a lot of pretty girls on there?

    she was all, yeah, showing off their bellies and theyre young.

    i said, you mean on my blog?

    she said no, on your instagram, someone else mentioned it too.

    i was like, i honestly have no idea what youre talking about. but after i pee we can delve into this deeper. and i peed and came back and we scrolled through

    and there was this young lady or that, but not a lot, hardly any actually. which i dont know disappointed her or impressed her that i was not a perv.

    i guess im not a perv i joked.

    she laughed. for me, for writing. for living. for learning, women are inspirational. educational. always changing never boring. and like in this instance, always there to question your motives.

    i have no motives. my only motive is to stay productive and creative and some people get their spark from coffee or sadness or morning becomes eclectic or the economist. for me, on my blog, where there are girls showing their bellies, i have a very simple process that i have been using since day one of the busblog:

    i click around on my Feedly or on Reddit or on Twitter and i look for a picture. sometimes i write about the picture, sometimes it’s just the shapes, sometimes it’s how the snake looks, sometimes its how the chin is rendered or the hair and if its interesting it goes in

    and then i can go and tell the little story, which hopefully is better than the picture,

    but if its not

    at least youve got the picture to think about.

    but do i think about what other people think about the world famous blahblog?

    never ever.

    and never will.