nothing in here is true

  1. Wednesday, October 25, 2017

    do you know whats funny about life? 


    hi little blog. hi tony. hi little magic thing.

    hi tony.

    hi little everything.

    hi tony.

    hi little secret weapon. hi tony.

    do you know how many times the xbi tried to shut you down?

    yes tony.

    do you know how many lies ive told in here? none tony.

    do you know how many jobs and monies and girls and trips and doors have opened because of you. fuck yes tony.

    do you know how often i used to think of you and now i dont.  no tony.

    i once had this beautiful cuban girlfriend who listened to gwen stefani and cooked for me and hugged me and joked but she had this purple imac, one of the new ones and back then id blog three times a day and she didnt like coming to my side of town but i didnt like blogging on her computer

    and weirdly that may have been the thing that stopped us from being together forever

    but thats not true tony

    i know. i know.

    nothing in here is true.

    (except the weird magic.)

    like you.

  2. Monday, August 28, 2017

    shout out to Funky Cold Mark Medina who is heading to the Warriors 

    One of the funnest parts of overseeing the blogs at the LAT way back in the day was our sports blogs.

    the Lakers Blog was one of the first blogs at the Times and it was already a monster before I ever got there.

    i was able to convince LA’s best Dodger blogger to blog for us, and i was able to do it without costing the paper a lot of money (because we had just gotten rid of some salary elsewhere).

    but when ESPN poached the Kam Bros I was suddenly lost because i never expected them to leave us.

    I tried everything in the book to convince them to stay saying things like, “radio isn’t where intellectuals go, it’s where washed up journalists and jocks go. You are both young, pretty, full of life, do you really want Bill from Downey to tell you that he thinks Kobe should pass the rock all day?”

    it didn’t work, The Sports Leader ganked the brothers and I had a giant hole to fill.

    at first I decided to replace them American Idol style by having 4-5 contenders take over the blog, one applicant per week, and at the end of the trial period we let the readers vote.

    but life is rarely that exciting. so we interviewed this guy from that paper and this other dude from this other paper. they were fine.

    but Mark Medina had something special that i liked: he was young, totally down for Whatever, and somehow it came up that he lived in El Segundo so he could be close to the Lakers and Clippers practice facilities.

    i was all, this is the sort of insane fan/pro that i need to write 3-4 blog posts a day.

    so we hired him and expected the worst because the Kams totally dominated the Lakers blogosphere up until that point.

    and part of their popularity was the fact that they’d get 100s of comments a day. Could Mark mix it up in the comments AND go to practices AND interview the players AND cut videos AND go to all the games AND give me half or 3/4ths the traffic that the Kams did?

    weirdly he Could!

    in a total shocker, many of the readers did not follow the Kams to ESPN, they stayed loyal, for reasons I still don’t know (habit maybe), with the Times.

    people asked, is Mark really that good of a writer? what’s his secret?

    and maybe the secret was the readers saw what I saw: Funky Cold truly loved the game, was earnest, wasn’t full of shit, and was personable.

    and for two years straight his numbers were consistent with the kings, the Kams.

    Mark was so friendly that when Ron Artest (aka Metta World Peace) first retired from the Lakers he gave a shout out to Funky Cold.

    Today Mark announced that the San Jose Mercury is hiring him to cover the world champion Warriors.

    Last night he called me to tell me he was going to announce it all today. He thanked me for the help I gave him at the Times.

    But the truth is, he wrote everything, he did 60+ hour work weeks, he studied film, he worked as hard as anyone out there.

    I am Very happy for him. Boring as that team will be to cover, at least he will get to go to a few more postseason games than if he was stuck covering the Lakers.

    Give em hell Mark!

  3. Thursday, August 3, 2017

    todays the busblogs birthday, it’s sweet sixteen 

    sixteen years ago i was doing some washing by the river.

    i looked into the weeds and there i saw a little tiny raft and a blog wrapped tightly in a blanket.

    i swam over to the scene and the blog was barely alive. it was ugly. it had very little to say other than ba baaa

    i said, is that your name?

    it said ba baaaaa

    i said busblog?

    and then i saw a stream of urine seep down its leg.

    i picked it up and dunked it into the river to wash it and a light shot down from the Heavens

    apparently i had inadvertently baptised it AND named it.

    son of a!

    when i looked back to the now-empty dingy i spotted a Post It which had been placed on the blog’s head

    on it was written a curious phrase

    nothing in here is true.

    i gave it a home on my url: tonypierce.com/blog/bloggy.htm

    it wasn’t grand or interesting because at the time i didn’t think it would survive the night.

    but alas, quickly it grew and grew and everyone wanted to see the little thing.

    i said, what about my fully formed website?

    they said, but your beautiful baby blog is fantastic!

    and it grew and as it did i learned it had magical powers beyond my wildest dreams.

    and every year it did something weirder and more beautiful than the last.

    and now it’s 16 and wants to drive.

    so be it.

    happy birthday blog of my dreams.

    thank you for coming into my life.

  4. Thursday, June 29, 2017

    someone said, we’re getting old T, what about our legacy 

    i said real friends dont call me T

    he was like, yeah but like the Sopranos…

    i said, when you see Tony Soprano be my guest to call him that.

    he continued, ok whatever, but what about our legacy? are you gonna write any more books or do something big so that when you’re gone the people will remember you and will say ‘yeah but tony pierce, he was the shit.”

    i said, no one remembers no one. not for the right reasons at least.

    plus thats the biggest fakeout around.

    consider Buster Keaton. dude was doing stunts that even the cops today wouldnt allow.

    bro said more with his eyes than actors today can say with the best scripts

    but you know how many times i see anyone with a Buster Keaton shirt

    or read about how this guy is the modern day Keaton?

    how about never.

    theres only one person who needs to know our names when we die

    and thats Jesus.

    worrying about whether tom dick or harrys grandkids or great grandkids are gonna read Stiff or How to Blog or The House on the Hill

    or omg Ilka is a giant waste of time

    not only will they not read it, but in the rare chance they stumble across it due to some weird ass SEO or a Throwback Thursday 3000, they wont understand it or relate or they’ll get distracted by the lowercase

    just like these days

    which is why i put up pictures.

    hi future.

    sorry about the air and water.

  5. Saturday, June 17, 2017

    you can say anything you want to about me 

    you can say my clothes are terrible

    or i ended up fat

    but one thing you cant say is you couldnt get hold of me.

    where is this world where people melt into when you send out an email or text

    and they don’t get back for 5-6 hours?

    where do those people go?

    me, i have my phone on me at all times, you know, like a normal person.

    if im in a movie, fine, out of commish for 2 hours. but 4?

    and during the week i get even more baffled.

    during work hours shouldnt you be available within minutes? whats up with being out of pocket for half the day?

    this last two days people have contacted me via email, text, facebook messenger, LinkedIn chat, Slack, Snapchat message, Instagram message and even the good old phone.

    pretty girl this morning even rolled over and whispered something in my ear.

    we live in the age of communication and i wonder about the ones who peace out for so long.

    i wonder if

    they can

    take me

    with them.

  6. Wednesday, December 21, 2016

    pretty girl was all, whats with all the pretty girls on your insta 

    i was like, i have a lot of pretty girls on there?

    she was all, yeah, showing off their bellies and theyre young.

    i said, you mean on my blog?

    she said no, on your instagram, someone else mentioned it too.

    i was like, i honestly have no idea what youre talking about. but after i pee we can delve into this deeper. and i peed and came back and we scrolled through

    and there was this young lady or that, but not a lot, hardly any actually. which i dont know disappointed her or impressed her that i was not a perv.

    i guess im not a perv i joked.

    she laughed. for me, for writing. for living. for learning, women are inspirational. educational. always changing never boring. and like in this instance, always there to question your motives.

    i have no motives. my only motive is to stay productive and creative and some people get their spark from coffee or sadness or morning becomes eclectic or the economist. for me, on my blog, where there are girls showing their bellies, i have a very simple process that i have been using since day one of the busblog:

    i click around on my Feedly or on Reddit or on Twitter and i look for a picture. sometimes i write about the picture, sometimes it’s just the shapes, sometimes it’s how the snake looks, sometimes its how the chin is rendered or the hair and if its interesting it goes in

    and then i can go and tell the little story, which hopefully is better than the picture,

    but if its not

    at least youve got the picture to think about.

    but do i think about what other people think about the world famous blahblog?

    never ever.

    and never will.

  7. Tuesday, July 26, 2016

    tony, how do you feel about ppl who delete tweets and blogs? 

    smoke monster

    i have known people who were chronic Deleters.

    while on one hand it’s perfectly fine to change one’s mind, on the other hand its a foolish attempt at control.

    you don’t control anything when you delete things on the web. it’s a web, what you put out there sticks. people screenshot it, people cache it. the web caches it.

    but most importantly people remember.

    and deleting things helps them remember because it brings more attention to it.

    i loved a girl a while ago who started blogs, twitter accounts, facebooks, and would regularly delete them. turned out she was bipolar and refused to treat her condition.

    it also turned out she was not being totally honest with the people in her life and her digital footprint often outted her for being less than truthful with some who trusted her.

    from that experience i concluded several things, top of which was people who chronically delete things should probably seek professional help because their vain attempt at control is a symptom of something much deeper rooted in mental health.

    the good news is these things can be treated.

    the bad news is the catch 22: most people with mental health issues don’t realize the depths of their own illness and will fight against the very treatment they would benefit from.

    so the best we can do is pray for them and constantly nudge them in the right direction.

    sometimes it does truly take a village. so if you care about the village, do your part and nudge your loved ones.

  8. Saturday, July 23, 2016

    keira interviews raymi the minx 

    tony pierce and raymi the minx

    is there any debate that the queen of canadian blogging is, has been

    and probably will forever be Raymi the Minx?

    as you know i am a gigantic fan of canadian blogs, canadian blogging

    so i say that with all much due respect to all the others up there

    shining a light on the great white north.

    but raymi has seriously put it out there.

    and whats fascinating, she hasnt even put it all out there.

    love her or hate her raymi has led by example for the last 16 years

    which has arguably been the best 16 years of blogging.

    today east coast west coast united in love as

    bc’s keira-anne interviews to’s raymi for 20 questions

  9. Wednesday, July 20, 2016

    dear tony, no offense but 

    pikachuLana asks, “No offense but, does it make you feel good your blog about nothing gets you jobs and dates and not REAL merit? Just popularity?”

    Firstly my blog is about Everything: sex, drugs, rock, religion, politics, Hollywood, Uber, Lyft, movies, Isla Vista, journalism, blogging, writing, the secretive xbi, doubting, art, magic, and love. You should read it.

    Now, does it make me feel good that it has gotten me jobs? I can’t believe it did get me jobs.

    Not just any jobs but amazing jobs. Jobs I never thought I’d ever get. Jobs so magical a few don’t even exist any more. Low paying jobs, high paying jobs, middle paying jobs.

    All because I clack clack clacked on a keyboard, added an image and hit Publish 15 years ago.

    It makes me feel good because this blog got attention not because i was some long legged long haired curvy young lady with an LA face and an Oakland booty, but because the words i typed connected with people in a special way – which is quite an achievement in this cluttered space called the web.

    No one reached down from Above and said, listen everyone you MUST read the busblog (actually many did) (which also made me feel all warm and loved inside) but most of those people were not hugely influential massive bloggers.

    Some were, which was lovely, but what I am saying is CNN didn’t put me on their homepage week after week with a direct link here and a headline that said OMG TONY YES!

    The so-called popularity that you seem to have an issue with was entirely organic, natural, and beautiful. Which is probably why it sustained for so long.

    Did it make me feel good that lovely ladies from around the world wanted to go on “dates” with me because of the things I wrote?

    No. I wanted them to want me for my body, not my mind.

    Which brings us to “REAL merit”.

    There are only three people who matter to me, merit-wise, in regards to my blogging here on the busblog.

    1. My dear mother
    2. Jesus
    3. All the ladies out there who secretly want me

    If I can warm the hearts of all three of these very important people in my life then that is Real merit to me.

    And let me tell you, trying to hit the center of that Venn diagram is not as easy as it looks. My mom doesn’t like swear words, even though I study the bible regularly I’m still unsure what Jesus would find wonderful in this blog, and I am even more clueless about the third group. So I just try to keep it real and come from a place of Goodness and see what happens.

    With that said we are here to rock. Every car has a gas pedal and a brake. My old sink has a hot And a cold faucet. And as a red blooded American single man I have a ying AND a very much alert yang.

    All of my favorite writers (Bukowski, Twain, Moses, etc) kept it real.

    I feel the most satisfied inside immediately after I have finished a blog post where I feel like I have kept it really real and the words sang in a way. To me that is real merit.

    But then there’s the bigger picture. The less selfish one: how did what I write or say help others?

    If my blogging (or Blog Editing) helped people express themselves or get jobs or dates or whatever they were looking for, then that gives me even more satisfaction. That might be harder for you, an outsider, to see, but when I ran the great LA blog, LAist, or the dozens of blogs at the LA Times, I was able to be with people in a way that hopefully was beneficial to them. And that interaction was rooted, weirdly, in my personal experiences of writing the world famous.

    So to answer your question, does it make me feel good that blah blah blah not real merit just popularity?

    The only time I feel really good is when someone surprises me with a nude on snapchat, when my momma tells me she liked what I wrote, when the Cubs win the World Series, when my bosses tell me fucking a great job tony, or when the girl in my bedroom says “i just Postmated some Poutine, whatever will we do for twenty minutes?”

    the rest of the time i’m a bawling mess alone in my messy room desperately searching for the approval from others.

    my snapchat is Tsarfan 

  10. Monday, July 11, 2016

    if i went to a shrink this is how it’d go 

    tony whats your biggest problem

    its probably my blog

    whats wrong with the busblog?

    the problem is when i get ready to write something i always have the best intentions. i want to write something arty and weird and deep and beautiful and so sexy that women from all around the world email me and say omg tony heres me in various outfits and poses, please, lets hang out in LA at your earliest convenience. but what happens is what i write ends up being predictable and bland and not sexy and not arty and certainly not weird. its never about cool topics it’s never written with any semblance of mystery. it’s just out there. boom.

    and how does this make you feel?

    its like if youre about to make love to someone special, you dont just unzip your fly and clap your hands twice to turn off the lights… you get the candles going, youve got a mixtape rolling, there may even be incense. the sheets are clean, the cats have been drugged and are snoring in a closet, youve showered. trimmed your nails.

    im very confused. what does this have to do with your blog journal?

    when i write it theres two steps: abject procrastination followed by an unrehearsed vomit session of ideas. theres no follow up, no editing, no fact checking, no spell checking. most of the time i wont even read it afterwards out of pure disgust. my mom will say something like, great writing today! and i will have to go and see what the heck shes talking about. its the opposite of professional or passionate or arty. it’s foul. the process is wrong. the results are all luck. sometimes good sometimes bad. but never what is intended. ever.

    and how does that make you feel?

    i reminds me of something Ric Ocasek said a long time ago.

    is he a baseball player?

    no he is that tall lanky pale singer songwriter of The Cars

    oh he married a model.

    yes. and produced Bad Brains and Weezer’s first record and anyways he said he loves all this dark, trippy weird shit but when he gets on the guitar or at the piano all that comes out is this super poppy 80s music and the only way he can give it any edge is to just slow it down like by a million.

    have you tried that?

    i just told you, theres nothing to try, i kneel down at the bowl and hurl.

    oh. right. got it. that’ll be a hundred bucks please.