nothing in here is true

  1. Friday, April 29, 2016

    keira-anne is a beautiful spirit 

    miss 604, keira-anne, and their boyfriends hanson

    pretty much the epitome of what youd imagine of a canadian young lady.

    polite, healthy, creative, fun, and concerned with all the good things that you wish everyone else would be concerned aboot

    i first met her at Blink 182 show. we were in the pit. moshing. i had been knocked to the ground.

    kids were stomping on me but didnt know it was me, they thought it was a bag of Cubs hat.

    out of the bloody darkness i saw a hand. it was hers, but i couldnt reach up.

    then suddenly she grabbed my scruff and pulled me out from certain death.

    she dragged me to the edge of the pit, borrowed a beer from a stunned gentleman who couldnt believe he was seeing The keira-anne in the flesh

    she poured some down my throat and wiped the blood from my brow with the remains.

    she kissed my forehead and pushed me back into the swirling mass of bodies.

    little bluebirds fluttered around her and placed a wreath of wildflowers atop her blonde locks.

    i mouthed thank you

    she mouthed

    eat timbits

    which is now my gmail password.

    today she posted an interview she conducted with me recently.

    click if only to see a cute pic of she and i in canada in 2007.

  2. Friday, March 25, 2016

    last night i picked up a long time busblog reader 

    todd francisi was minding my own business, circling the big buildings around century city, wondering if it was even worth it any more now that the century plaza will be closed for several years as they renovate

    and i got a ping from one of the towers near CAA.

    nice guy climbs in wants to go to western and wilshire. fine with me.

    as we get going it’s obvious hes a lawyer: super smart, great vocabulary, well versed. he tells me he used to work at the LA Times in the 80s. i tell him i used to work there too, but more recently.

    eventually he says, wait, i know you. how dumb! youre tony pierce!

    i was all, yep!

    he said, i should have known from the license plate!

    i was all, ha!

    he said, the busblog is groundbreaking. i remember you wrote once about the girl who got away. i printed it out.

    i was like they all got away. which one?

    we drove down wilshire trying to remember and he complimented me more. then said how about we go to union station.

    so we blow past the wiltern and keep moving.

    great convo continues and he’s telling me about the history of modern banking, obama’s flaws, printing presses, and he says lets go to Pasadena. so we go.

    i tell people all the time that they should be blogging. it doesnt even have to be about their real lives. it could be about anything. but they have stories. You have stories. tales that wont get you fired.

    i promise you.

    and you never know, one day when you least expect it someone might say they remember you and something you wrote is on their wall or in a folder or tattoed onto their arm.

    or best of all, in their heart.

  3. Sunday, March 20, 2016

    dear rock n roll diary 

    me and greg at the sports arena

    first of all im sorry i put even an imagined quota on you. for some reason i still believe quantity is quality

    but after seen bruuuuuuce last night i realized quality is quality.

    if you have enough songs for a double album make a damn double album

    if all you have is enough for Born to Run, then make Born to Run.

    sure it would be great if i could blog here three times a day like how i used to

    but that was 15 years ago. lifes different. i have a job i like. two sorta.

    i might not be able to write even two a day.

    but i promise i’ll write every day and it’ll be right from my heart.

    one hit at a time.

  4. Thursday, February 11, 2016

    eight years ago today we launched the Kareem Abdul-Jabbar blog 

    kareemhave i told you im the luckiest man in the world? i am.

    it seems like just yesterday, i had held the position of Blog Editor at the LA Times for just a few months when i got an email from the Sports Editor Randy Harvey who said the NBAs top scorer was interested in blogging for our paper.

    because i was new i assumed that this happened all the time and it was going to happen all the time. but alas it was the one and only true celeb who would blog regularly for us. and despite the hiccups that we had it was a dream come true.

    as a kid i idolized #33. the book about his life was my favorite book in grade school. so to work with him on this project was almost as surreal as being the damn blog editor of my favorite paper.

    my terms were simple, if he really wanted it to be a hit he had to have a real blog post every day. was he up for it? he told me he was. he told me about all the books he’d written and all the interests he had. and sure enough he DID have a lot of interests and he was able to mesh those with the current events of the day and he churned out a fascinating, controversial, edgy blog that was much more than just about sports.

    when Herbie Hancock won a bunch of Grammys, boom there was a recent picture of Kareem (a huge jazz fan) with Herbie. when one of the Manning Brothers was in the Super Bowl, there was a picture of Kareem with both brothers. he wrote about movies, health, politics, race, and yes, even sports.

    my belief about a blogging athlete was changed because of my experience with Kareem. at first i thought it would be difficult because most athletes and musicians have this image that they feel compelled to uphold through LACK of communication to the world. i thought it would be hard for someone to be able to write every day because of their schedule, but even though Kareem’s calendar was packed, he made time for it.

    and best of all he was not afraid to keep it real.

    over the years i spent there we had other athletes who asked to do what Kareem did and i asked them a few questions: can you keep it real, can you write every day, are you gonna be freaked out if and when the commenters turn on you? they all backed down.

    here are a few of the mentions the blog got when it launched.

    rock on, Cap!

  5. Thursday, January 28, 2016

    sometimes you might feel like climbing the shit house 

    and sometimes you might feel like walking on top of said houses

    and sometimes you might feel like

    you know what,

    i really should just totally jump

    no matter what they say about white men and jumping.

    and at that point you should probably ask yourself

    have i ever jumped off a shit house before?

    this is a lesson i want to put on a tshirt

    have i ever jumped off a shit house before?

    but something tells me if there was a tshirt that said that

    this dude woulda had it

    and woulda worn it when he jumped.

  6. Saturday, January 23, 2016

    im clogged up 

    michael jacksoni have to write some things but theres a blockage

    two weekends in a row i just wanted to stay in bed and not do anything

    dont wanna uber, dont wanna write, dont wanna change the world, dont wanna text this pretty girl and take her to mcdonalds, dont wanna see rock music at the echoplex

    dont wanna see movies at the theater

    dont wanna do the thing that’ll make me a little extra on the side

    dont wanna do laundry dont wanna put things up on sals wall dont wanna read books

    dont wanna play nba2k2016

    i barely wanna go to the kitchen and crack open another mexicoke, but a mans gotta breathe

    today i watched the doc about all those kids who lived in an apartment in the LES and never left

    The Wolfpack

    then i watched the doc about Keith Richards where he travels the world and sheds new light on blues, country, and rockabilly

    i didnt know how much my man tom waits was gonna be in there.

    it was good but not as good as The Wolfpack which was bizarre and beautiful and shed a light on the human condition and how tick tock it wont stop. how if you stick us in a closet we’ll turn into psychedelic mushrooms and the longer we’re in there the more potent we will be.

    these kids love movies so much i wish i could send them all of my dvds that i dont watch any more.

    they taught me i should wear suits more and trench coats.

    hard not to respect a man in a suit and a trench coat.

    and then give them the benefit of the doubt.

    who doesnt want the benefit of the doubt.

  7. Tuesday, December 29, 2015

    the clock says it’s time to go… now… 

    lemmyi’m doing this new thing to motivate myself away from the computer during this Christmas vacation.

    when i wake up i take the charger off the macbook and when the battery runs out it’s time to go outside and see what LA has to offer.

    right now it’s at 10% but it’s draining fast because i have a video of Los Lobos playing with Jerry Garcia in the background. a little tune you may have heard “La Bamba”  in 86.

    there was a time when i would wake up early and uber all day and all night. those days are over. i pick and choose.

    my hands and arms were in such pain this year that i had to buy all these lotions and salves. none of it worked. i sacrificed a goat (its always the goats). didnt work. then i tried driving less. that didnt work.

    i tried heavy breathing, extra tacos, sex with women(!), positive thinking. nothing.

    and then i threw money at the problem: i bought a variety of compression gloves and arm sleeves and holy cow it worked and my hands and arms are better than ever.

    but i never want to abuse them again because theyre my money maker. theyre whats letting me tell you right now that i love you. theyre whats letting me tell you that we’re already at 6 per cent with a bullet. theyre what lets me wipe the poop from my crack after i take a dump. imagine you couldnt do that. imagine you needed to make a robot to do that for you.

    but how you gonna build a poop cleaning robot when you aint got no hands or arms that work because you drove all night like springsteen

    through the wind, through the rain,

    the snow, the wind,

    the rain

    hearrrrrrt and soul

    no robot poop machines gonna do nothing for you the way i can.

    even with one hand writhing in pain,

    like what most of 15 was for me.

    but thats all in the rear view now.

    3 per cent

    holy cow.

  8. Friday, December 25, 2015

    dear world famous busblog 

    adelei must apologize to you. this has been the least prolific year on this fine blog… since last year.

    the trend is super sad. for years this blog averaged between 700 to over 900 posts a year.

    last year it sunk to a measly 586 and this year it looks like it wont even break 500.


    we know what the easy excuse is: uber. back in the day a man would write a little something before work, then write something during his lunch break, and then write something magnificent once he made it home. but now i go out to lunch almost every day at work (expensive in the long run, but enjoyable) and then uber after work for a couple hours. once i get home im pooped.

    yes too pooped to write. too pooped to tell you my dreams and accomplishments. too pooped to tell you about my sorrows and tribulations. too pooped to create the incredibleness people have come to expect from this url.

    which is ironic because if you ax me, the best stories ive told over the last few years on this page have been about all the interesting people ive met and the crazy ish ive seen.

    so heres my pre-new years resoulution to you, my dear blog of magic: theres 365 days in a year (give or take) if i blog twice a day every day thats well over the pathetic 500 posts ive typed this year. so two a day is all we ask. every day. like a real blogger. like who i used to be. like who i can be.

    and unlike in other years, one will be nuts and bolts what i did. the second will be some weirdness. because as i sat around all day today watching movies and tv shows and video games, i realized that the weirder something is the more i like it and this blog has turned less than weird, which is sad because since only a fraction of people read this compared to what it used to be, that should open up more avenues for experimentation.


  9. Wednesday, December 2, 2015

    theres a lot of things that will make me fall in love with you 

    the pants the replacementsthe easiest way is if you keep a good blog.

    ten years ago this december i took a road trip up to canada to see mr matthew good

    along the way i got an email from a blogger who i admired who went by the name of The Pants.

    she was probably the best blogger in the USA at the time. her prose was bukowski-like, her aggression, her pain, her creativity, and her humor was all right on the mark.

    she lived a sort of white trash lifestyle that was full of a unique glamor that you couldnt put your finger on. but i wanted to see if i could. so unlike many invitations that i get to meet people from my blog, i accepted hers. so after a stop in umpqua i journeyed to her home in tacoma and instantly fell for her. it started with her cd collection. did she really have three replacements cds? marry me. right now. put on some pants and marry me.

    she was funny. she was beautiful. but what she really wanted to do was get drunk and sing karaoke at a club that once kicked out an early incarnation of Nirvana. lord knows i cant sing but i can drink and drink we did. so much so that i puked before we got in the cab back to her place.

    the pantsshe lived in a house with some other people. but she had the best room. it was on the top floor in what appeared to be the attic.

    there was a vacuum cleaner at the foot of the bed. i assumed that she had vacuumed the carpet so i could have a clean place to sleep. but luck was with me and she took off her shirt and revealed a colorful bra and the palest skin.

    another way to make me fall in love is to have the palest skin while telling me i wasnt going to have to sleep on the floor.

    i believe the cure played as we fell asleep and i thought to myself, blogging is the greatest thing in the entire world and i will never stop doing it because where else can you just travel around and listen to the best music and learn about foreign towns and meet the coolest people and sometimes theyre secretly beautiful. so what if theyre a little wacky. im a lot wacky.

    and in the morning i woke up and she woke up and we went to jack in the box and had breakfast and then i drove to canada and had sushi for the first time ever. which i didnt fall in love with immediately, like i did with the pants.

    update: im being reminded i did not take her to the jack n the box in the morning, indeed i ate there alone at lunch and wrote this blog post

  10. Friday, November 13, 2015

    it’s been 47 days since Zulieka has posted on her blog 


    heres the problem with life: it’s fleeting.

    the older we get the faster it goes and then justlikethat it’s gone.

    did we learn anything? what was life like? all those things become folklore unless we, writers,

    which is all of us,

    write it down in as much detail or fiction as we can.

    today in paris, for example, future readers, terrorists went to a

    Eagles of Death Metal concert

    shot up the place and bombed it and a few other places

    suicide bombed, to be specific, and over 100 people died.

    on friday the 13th.

    same day beautiful zulieka, out in whereever she is decided, nope this isnt the day i write again.

    you know how many stories shes got?

    writes 20 times better than me, and always has this hint of sensuality about it.

    pariswho doesnt want that every damn day?

    bloggers need to be blogging the same way firemen need to pull up those big pants.

    we’re volunteer firemen, doing it for the people.

    and the people wave and thank us and bring us milk for some reason

    and buy our calendars at the Hallmark store in the mall.

    zulieka is everyones favorite fireman.

    she cant not do her thing.

    nobody can replace her.

    todays neil youngs birthday.

    the millennials, wheres their neil young? gen y didnt have any and the millennials give us none neither.

    sometimes the generations behind you cannot replace you and theres this terrible void

    write it down.

    it doesnt matter that no one is reading it or commenting or sharing it on facebook

    almost all of the best writers of olden times were losers

    but when that shit got to cable suddenly everyone loved it.

    who knows why? no one.

    it happened to pinkerton. at first everyone was all meh

    then a year later they were like omg.

    time takes time, ringo.

    but first you have to have something out there for time to do something with.

    but the good news is, the older we get the faster time goes.

    so make it baby, and put it out there.