nothing in here is true

  1. Tuesday, May 24, 2016
  2. Friday, May 24, 2013

    today is bob dylan’s birthday, he’s 72 

    bob dylan with mick and keith

    last night while playing pool i was trying to explain to a very nice man who pete rose was

    i said, the hardest thing to do in sport is to hit a round ball with a round bat

    being hurled at you a mere 60 feet away and safely get on first base.

    of all the people in the world who played pro sports, pete rose had more hits than anyone.

    if i knew last night that today was bob dylan’s birthday i would have added

    and bob dylan is pete rose, michael jordan, walter payton, pele, and wayne gretzky


    in a funny hat

    and a raspy voice

    strumming a guitar, while playing the harmonica

    reciting some of the most fluid and beautiful poetry

    to some of the most timeless music we’ve ever heard since recordings began.

    here’s 72 shining examples of that

  3. Wednesday, February 27, 2013

    KM asks: let’s say you’re having a rough day, what tunes turn that frown upside down? 

    park ranger

    dear katherine,

    im so sorry you’re feeling gloomy.

    i am very worried about gloomy feelings because i get nervous that they can snowball into gloomy days, gloomy weeks, and gloomy months.

    so i try to nip even the slightest negative feelings in the bud.

    perhaps being a Cubs fan has helped me cope.

    since they’re terrible.

    and probably won’t win it all until 2014.

    weirdly i don’t find myself down too often, and “rough days” in journalism are just called “days”.

    but when things are extraordinarily difficult i usually go somewhere that has funny pictures or sweet things happening like Reddit and click real fast to see if theres anything inspiring or interesting.

    and look, today i spy a little note from a Yosemite Junior Ranger named Evie who sent something nice to the Park Rangers there.


    but you’re right, music does make the heart grow fonder though, so when i find the urge to turn on some music and take a little walk here are some songs and videos that would soothe this savage beast:

    Continue reading “KM asks: let’s say you’re having a rough day, what tunes turn that frown upside down?”

  4. Friday, October 26, 2012
  5. Sunday, October 21, 2012

    why it’s totally cool to call Bob Dylan “Zimmy” if you ever meet him 

    on one of dylan’s best albums is the song “you gotta serve somebody“.
    in the song the narrator says no matter what happens youre gonna either have to serve the devil or the lord.
    and in the song theres a section where dylan sings:

    You may call me Terry, you may call me Timmy
    You may call me Bobby, you may call me Zimmy
    You may call me R.J., you may call me Ray
    You may call me anything but no matter what you say
    You’re still gonna have to serve somebody…

    Only because i’m old as the hills do i remember where Dylan takes this from.

    in the late 70s there was a comedian named Bill Saluga who had a hugely popular bit
    where he’d say his name was Raymond J. Johnson Jr.,

    but you didn’t has to call him Raymond. You could call him Ray, or you could call him J…

    way more after the jump

    Continue reading “why it’s totally cool to call Bob Dylan “Zimmy” if you ever meet him”

  6. Thursday, March 3, 2011

    what the hell is going on here 

    bra panty and over-the-knee socks

    yes i know its an ad for american apparel.

    but whenever i see one of their billboards or ads i think what happens when i have little daughters and they see that ad and their friends see that ad and they say daddy can we go to american apparel and buy some of those clothes, those girls look so pretty.

    what am i supposed to say to those little angels?

    i cant say “you dont see mommy dressing like that do you?” cuz mommy better have some of that tucked away. so now im a hypocrite. in front of my sweethearts.

    im so doomed.

    thats what dov charneys soft core porn ads teach me. that im a sellout, a liar to my unborn spawn, and easily manipulated through display ads.

    its a wonder i can even feed myself.