busblog

nothing in here is true

  1. Sunday, April 9, 2017

    been sick all weekend 

    didnt do shit yesterday, did less today

    been coughing sneezing barfing.

    needed an emotional rescue.

    from somewhere beyond a pretty girl offered to be my roommate

    “just friends” for the next six months.

    i said, no thank you.

    she said, i’ll clean your house and pay you 1/3 of your rent.

    i said did that last year with jeanine and it turned into a year

    and it was very uncomfortable for both parties involved.

    while she was texting me that, the prettiest girl ive ever swiped on bumble

    swiped me back

    and we had a nice little conversation about astrology

    and i thought to myself, if Putin was intercepting my phone messages

    he’d think im the biggest stud in the universe.

    but alas

    just a dude in a robe and a toque

    with wads of tp in his nostrils to stop the bleeding

    from blowing his nose too much.

    waiting for his thai food to arrive.

  2. Wednesday, March 29, 2017

    had a bumble date with a stewardess the other night 

    beautiful woman. quick thinker. talked lots. she loved sports.

    and loooooved the good sushi we had which is nice because ive taken people there from work or whatever and they were all meh and i would be like, are you paying attention to this and they were like pay attention to what

    she was into it. good conversation. half black half chinese. been around. seen things. done things. traveled tons. had opinions. things to say.

    what was cool was kanpai has four tvs. one bigger one by the cashier and three above the booths. theyre always playing sports. girl was all, is that the score i think it is, ah never mind.

    she cared about the score. regular season game. knew the players. for fun she buys expensive seats and takes her brother.

    perfect right?

    problem was she looked like my sister. a little more lightskinned than my sister but still. some people are weird about this thing or that, but im only weird about a few things. you can’t look like my relatives.

    i did like that she understood some of the nuances that we as black folk deal with. liked it a lot. she even spent a time in DC. but our convo was so good we never really dipped into that much.

    the other day she texted me seeing if we could hang again. i wanted to tell her what the problem was but i didnt want to really get into it. how do people do this? the last time i went on an online date and i told the girl id call her later and i didnt she wrote me this long hateful email. i was all, you met me for two hours. whats all this? so now i, mr communication, is not communicating which is weird but im weird. everythings weird.

    met a different girl a few days before the stewardess. almost kissed her at the bar. but the whole time i was thinking you are soooo too old for her. all youre gonna do is ruin her life. next day i thought, has any girl ruined your life? no. has any tried? ha. but none did. all they did was help me grow. make me smile. make me laugh. make me feel. make me all the things.

    all the things.

    but still, i didnt wanna ruin that sweetness that she had. so yeah, busy weekend so busy im only writing now.

    ok. okay then. ok.