nothing in here is true

  1. Monday, October 7, 2013
  2. Thursday, April 4, 2013

    @courtney on her forthcoming single “California” 

    courtney ad

    I keep writing about California so I just finally called a song straight up fucking California. Not even Malibu, which I still don’t have the keys to the city and I’m really pissed – 13,000 people and they don’t give me the fucking keys to the city! It’s like when Billy Corgan told me he was calling a song ‘Tonight, Tonight’. I was like, “If that song isn’t the best fucking song I’ve ever heard, you will be carted out of town on a cross.” You don’t call a song ‘Tonight, Tonight’ or ‘California’ unless you know it’s major.

    – Courtney Love Cobain.
    Full interview in Wonderland

  3. Tuesday, January 8, 2013
  4. Thursday, December 6, 2012

    ways i would leave california 


    1. running from the law, the press, or the parents

    2. blogger wanted to hire me as vp of rock

    3. met a hot babe who’s broke

    4. got traded to the dallas mavs

    5. the cubs needed a blogger

    6. virgin airlines needed an undercover air marshall

    7. da bears needed a social media expert named tony pierce

    8. the white house wanted an alternative blog to their current snoozefest

    9. the stones wanted me to live blog their tour

    10. i won the lottery and refused to pay the taxes and had to run from the irs

  5. Wednesday, August 15, 2012
  6. Wednesday, August 8, 2012
  7. Monday, July 23, 2012

    fortunately i live in hollywood 

    so the walk from the bar wasnt far
    but the margueritas did their bidding
    and now i apologize but im with spirtis
    as they say.
    who are you.
    what have you come here fore?
    we had mexican drinks and tacos and good tidings for all
    four excellent men and two women who were exotic
    and beautiful, one who had enhancements
    tremendous enhancements
    its easy to judge but in real life everythings crazy.
    do you know i love you?
    so,e people when they drunk, cray
    some are super loving . im never tryly super loving
    but i do love.
    its a trait. like i love margurtas. cadillac style.
    my first car was a caddy. im a lucky boy.
    weird crazy cray comes my way and im all ok lets figure this out
    but sometimes theres nothing to figure out
    its just a wave
    and its your turn to surf the wave
    surf it sucker

  8. Tuesday, July 17, 2012

    almost every day i give thanks for living in california 

    it’s hard to believe i moved here 74 years ago

    when a pod from my home planet ejected me to this strange and beautiful land.

    for a while it was hard to say “yep im a Californian”

    and i still dont really look at myself like that

    maybe because i feel so lucky, and unworthy.

    yes the weather is ridiculously perfect. ive lived in this hollywood cabana for over 10 years

    ive never used my wall heater, and never had any need for air conditioner.

    yes the people are pretty to look at. and some are even fun to dance with.

    the entertainment is so good we dont even need a football team.

    but the thing i like most about cali is probably the food.

    carne asada, pollo, and al pastor top the list.

    of course i miss my home land. and its terrific to go there and relive the past and soak in its beauty.

    but theres something about your own bed, no matter how perfect the mattress is at the hard rock.

    theres something about knowing every short cut around any traffic jam.

    theres something about knowing what went down at that corner and what used to be in the abandoned lot.

    and theres something totally awesome about driving down a block and saying

    oh yeah i remember that party at that apartment where i met that person and oh yeah i remember.

    but whats best is knowing about all the new stories yet to write.

    to me, california is about the future.

    and thats what i like the most.

  9. Tuesday, June 12, 2012

    LA and the art of motorcycle maintenance 

    made in LALA is my lady because for sure we arent underdogs at anything

    not even hockey now.

    we have tons of people who live here, many all stars from other places.

    they come here to seriously do their best to make their dreams come true

    and even if they fail, they fail spectacularly.

    meanwhile the natives have seen it all and often have this enviable calmness and confidence like boulders by the beach who have experienced the tide come in and out day after day.

    stanley cup, nba championship, oscars, 10 million dollar house, actress model mistress, fancy car, stupid fresh shoes,

    it dont matter just dont bite it.

    but still we try. we try as hard in LA as anywhere.

    and we cheat. and steal. and rob. and connive.

    we’ll make stars out of anyone and package it and market it and sell it to the world

    and the world laps it right up.

    ask that gangbanging rhymeslinging pimp Snoop Dogg, beloved from near and far.

    who else could export a man who shows up at an awards ceremony with two scantily dressed women on dog chains? who could be accused for a capital crime and quickly release a record called “murder was the case” while blatantly smoking illegal narcotics and flashing gang signs?

    only LA could.

    LA is the bad boy and the idyllic backdrop: the sand the surf the slopes and the stars.

    we have so many great food options that some of the best come out of trucks at the side of the road.

    we speak so many dialects but the only language is that of love and success.

    we celebrate today a new notch on our bedpost, staples will soon raise another banner on its crowded roof and tomorrow someone will quote miss jackson

    what have you done for me lately.

    the unofficial motto of the golden state.

    and they’ll mean it.

  10. Saturday, November 19, 2011

    8 1/2 minutes in Jerry Brown’s California 

    UC Davis is about a half hour from the governor’s mansion in Sacramento.

    what you see here is what the XBI calls a power play.

    the students, angry that once again their tuition to attend a public university is going up, staged a sit-down protest on the grounds of their campus.

    the police, ordered from on high to break up the protest, dressed in riot gear and bulletproof vests and pepper sprayed the students when they would not Obey and remove themselves from the sidewalk in the quad of the sleepy campus.

    the results appear to be akin to using a sledgehammer to pop a zit.

    especially when its being documented by scores of camera wielding kids who just happen to be chanting and screaming and making the actions of the public servants seem even more brutal that if the confrontation was merely reported in print.

    there is some video of this standoff that is even more dramatic than this one. showing you that perspective can sometimes intensify or lessen how one feels about the exact same exchange.

    although some governors might puff up in pride if the saw video like this happening 30 minutes from their backyard, im assuming this made Gov. Brown cringe as he is one who often champions “the people”.

    the people got sprayed in the face for occupying a sidewalk in davis.

    and then the cops cowered home on video to the shouts of kids recording it all on their iPads.

    when the billionaire mayor of New York does this sort of thing to the self-proclaimed 99% the symbolism is impossible to miss.

    likewise it’s hard to overlook the irony when peaceful protestors are being roughed up minutes from the mansion of Governor Moonbeam.

    this is the third time Brown has been governor of the Golden State

    seems to me that this could be the first truly Golden opportunity for him to lead in a way that is different than those on the other coast.

    and if it were inspiring leadership, rooted in the liberal foundation that he is known for (and has been elected to echo),

    it could prove more interesting than the pictures that were shot yesterday.

    and for a moment people might not realize that California is in as much trouble as it is.