nothing in here is true

  1. Wednesday, December 9, 2015

    We all should pray for Nardwaur the Human Serviette 

    the top three interviewers alive today are

    3. tony pierce

    2. howard stern

    nardwuar1. Nardwaur of Vancouver, British Columbia, Canada

    and nardwaur wins by a lot.

    thats the good news.

    the bad news is the outrageous and lovable journalist had a stroke on Saturday.

    Nardwaur was known for his deep research which led to right-on-the-money musical gifts like records from the artist’s chilhood

    or posters from concerts that meant a lot to them.

    over the last 30 years Nardwaur has interviewed the likes of

    Nirvana, Jay-Z, Snoop Dogg, Odd Future, Henry Rollins,

    and so many punk, pop, and hip hop artists,

    on video,

    that after a while it becomes less about the artist and more about their reactions to his gifts.

    because i know you pray, when you do, please include Nardwaur in your blessings.

    Doot Doola Doot Doo Doot Doo!

  2. Friday, December 4, 2015

    today is Foxxy’s birthday, shes 24 

    foxxy and JaG

    back when everyone and their mother had a blog, Foxxy (pictured, left) had one that i loved.

    she musta loved mine too because she borrowed my disclaimer of “nothing in here is true”.

    the first time i ever met her was the last time i ever met her, im pretty sure, although now im not so sure.

    i think we all gathered at Keira-Anne’s bachelor apartment and walked along Lake Vancouver and then watched all the fireworks off the barge.

    and drank. omg. and drank.

    i said, Foxxy you’re even prettier in real life than i ever imagined, how about lets keep drinking after all these fireworks?

    she said, and do what?

    i said, do you remember that awesome black girl from Holland, Just A Girl?

    she said, yeah.

    i said, she’s in town too, and she’s gonna meet me at my hotel at midnight and im gonna show her my new breakdance moves.

    Foxxy was all, Just a Girl is really gonna be at your hotel at midnight? You? Dumbass busblog?

    I said, yeah!

    Foxxy said, fine but if we are there any later than 12:01 and theres no JustAGirl then i’m out.

    and as you can see from this photo they were amazed by my dance moves.

  3. Thursday, November 5, 2015

    ten years ago today i was in vancouver 

    dear rock and roll

    matt good invited me up, so i drove up

    i saw two of his shows and met lots of my blog friends

    as well as some new friends.

    in a cool episode, i met smelly danielly for the first time

    and i had an extra backstage pass on me for some reason

    and i knew she was a huge fan of matts so i brought her back there to see her freak out

    but canadians dont really freak out.

    it was also, i think, the first time i met chad.

    and it was the first time that chad and danielle ever met

    and now, ten years later, they are married with an adorable son.

    of course i made a photo essay about it because thats what i did back then.

    and of course it looks crappy with todays technology aka its not responsive design.

    but it brings back some very nice memories of one of my first times in canada.

  4. Wednesday, February 4, 2015

    Alyson asks: Tony, you lead the coolest life. Can I be your Oscar date? 



    you are beautiful and wonderful and Canadian and sassy and all the things I love in an Oscar date

    but this is the first time that I am eligible to not only bring one guest, but because i am working it i can bring two.

    so this year I am bringing two of the most important women in my life.

    the first is my mom, of course, duh, just like what Leo has done

    and the other is the longest girlfriend i ever had, who has been saving the world for the last decade, Chris

    who hasn’t had a good excuse to dress up all fancy and enjoy the thing she loves the most in a while: movies.

    Chris is so ga ga over the Oscars that she used to have Oscar parties with her bff and catch up on all the nominees

    and in many ways she is one of the few people who i think could do a better job at my job than me.

    so they will be my “dates” this year, even though i wont be able to sit with them as i will be running all around the Dolby snapping photos and live blogging and tweeting and etc., for you and you and you.

    next year, however, Alyson, is a different story, so keep blogging, because, as you know,

    that’s a great shortcut to my heart.

  5. Monday, October 13, 2014

    today is canadian thanksgiving 

    the world needs more canada

    you know how many good times ive had in canada?


    ive partied with rock stars, wooed by locals, been escorted to rippers

    kids even asked me to pose for photos and give them my autograph

    we wont even talk about the trouble this 17-18 year old ashley wanted after she stole my cap

    ashley canada

    what is it with people who wanna steal my caps?

    anyways ive had a blast there. the people are sweet. the beers are delicious.

    the cold weather doesnt even seem all that cold and people dont even dress like it’s cold.

    the food? mama mia. the food. you know i love the food.

    every time ive been there it was a funner weirder excursion than the next.

    did i tell you the time i was in a hot tub with lesbians on new years eve and it began to snow?

    i wanted to stay there forever.

    im so thankful for you canada.

    im glad mexico isnt our hat.

  6. Thursday, March 20, 2014
  7. Sunday, March 16, 2014

    adam bradley carlson asks, “tony do you still have that shirt?” 

    2007 with the girls in vancouver

    in the summer of 2007 i went to vancouver and had a great time with keira-anne, corrina, miss604 and many others

    and some of my best memories is taking pics of us holding our mammaries

    while i wore this killer AC/DC shirt given to me many years ago by one Mr. Os

    today corrina’s husband adam tweeted me wondering if i still had the sweet silk shirt.


    till i die, my man

  8. Monday, January 13, 2014

    wayne asks “how about what they wanna do to Dodger Stadium for hockey?” 

    la-sp-dodgers-stadium-outdoor-hockey-game-20140112 oh you mean beach volley ball in left field, a Kiss concert in RF, and inline skating at homeplate?

    with appearances from Wayne Gretzky and Vin Scully

    and omg fireworks?

    i think only the writers of The Simpsons can find any humor in this.

    this is why Canada secceeded from The Union.

    this is why Bin Laden is rolling in his “watery grave”.

    this is why Dodger Stadium is cursed.

    this is why Magic Johnson was a terrible head coach.

    this is why people point at LA and laugh and laugh and laugh

    and then buy tickets by the millions.

    why must they do this to inline skating?

  9. Wednesday, December 11, 2013

    A TO Tony fan asks: Will Rob Ford will be re-elected as mayor in the next election? 

    chris farley

    heres the problem with Canada: you’re so lovable.

    even your trainwrecks are the most huggable, forgivable, sweetest trainwrecks ever.

    how is your largest city’s mayor a fat crackhead? why is he so honest? where does that accent come from?


    obvs we don’t know his politics, but who cares about that. apparently you stripped him of many of his powers.

    now you have a powerless court jester running around knocking over ladies with his big belly.

    where are the Rob Ford dolls? where is the Rob Ford candy bars? where is the Rob Ford Betty Ford sobriety coins?

    yes i think he will be re-elected because he is the finest in canadian entertainment since pamela anderson.

    the man just wants to lower taxes. while getting drunk. while getting high. while hanging out with hookers.

    and being barraged by the press in front of his modest home.

    this is your creation TO and you shouldnt be embarrassed. we see ourselves when we see Rob Ford.

    and by ourselves, of course we mean our lovable uncle who lives in a van down by the river.

    i hope he runs for Prime Minister.

  10. Monday, November 11, 2013

    today is alyson’s birthday, shes 24 


    one of the biggest problems with not having a flying car (yet)

    is that there are literally hundreds of busblog readers who i would totally be friends with IRL

    if only they lived anywheres near me.

    at the top of the list is todays birthday girl, alyson shane, of winnipeg, manitoba, canada

    alyson is an oldschool blogger who still blogs on blogger.com

    and she does so beautifully and regularly, and with soul.

    every now and then she will send me a little email asking how i am whats going on and am i hanging in there

    i totally super appreciate that.

    we have done some “interviews” that i want to do with other bloggers after i saw how honest she was with her answers, so if i ever have a blogger book, you can thank alyson for being a great test subject.

    i dont know too much aboot manitoba other than, as she says, its lovely and beautiful and filled with great people

    apparently you can walk on rivers of ice as the moon is in the sky like a big apple pie

    and the hockey players commute by holding on to the tails of the wild moose that roam the streets.

    so happy birthday alyson. im sure you’ll have a fine time on the big town tonight!