nothing in here is true

  1. Sunday, March 16, 2014

    adam bradley carlson asks, “tony do you still have that shirt?” 

    2007 with the girls in vancouver

    in the summer of 2007 i went to vancouver and had a great time with keira-anne, corrina, miss604 and many others

    and some of my best memories is taking pics of us holding our mammaries

    while i wore this killer AC/DC shirt given to me many years ago by one Mr. Os

    today corrina’s husband adam tweeted me wondering if i still had the sweet silk shirt.


    till i die, my man

  2. Monday, January 13, 2014

    wayne asks “how about what they wanna do to Dodger Stadium for hockey?” 

    la-sp-dodgers-stadium-outdoor-hockey-game-20140112 oh you mean beach volley ball in left field, a Kiss concert in RF, and inline skating at homeplate?

    with appearances from Wayne Gretzky and Vin Scully

    and omg fireworks?

    i think only the writers of The Simpsons can find any humor in this.

    this is why Canada secceeded from The Union.

    this is why Bin Laden is rolling in his “watery grave”.

    this is why Dodger Stadium is cursed.

    this is why Magic Johnson was a terrible head coach.

    this is why people point at LA and laugh and laugh and laugh

    and then buy tickets by the millions.

    why must they do this to inline skating?

  3. Wednesday, December 11, 2013

    A TO Tony fan asks: Will Rob Ford will be re-elected as mayor in the next election? 

    chris farley

    heres the problem with Canada: you’re so lovable.

    even your trainwrecks are the most huggable, forgivable, sweetest trainwrecks ever.

    how is your largest city’s mayor a fat crackhead? why is he so honest? where does that accent come from?


    obvs we don’t know his politics, but who cares about that. apparently you stripped him of many of his powers.

    now you have a powerless court jester running around knocking over ladies with his big belly.

    where are the Rob Ford dolls? where is the Rob Ford candy bars? where is the Rob Ford Betty Ford sobriety coins?

    yes i think he will be re-elected because he is the finest in canadian entertainment since pamela anderson.

    the man just wants to lower taxes. while getting drunk. while getting high. while hanging out with hookers.

    and being barraged by the press in front of his modest home.

    this is your creation TO and you shouldnt be embarrassed. we see ourselves when we see Rob Ford.

    and by ourselves, of course we mean our lovable uncle who lives in a van down by the river.

    i hope he runs for Prime Minister.

  4. Monday, November 11, 2013

    today is alyson’s birthday, shes 24 


    one of the biggest problems with not having a flying car (yet)

    is that there are literally hundreds of busblog readers who i would totally be friends with IRL

    if only they lived anywheres near me.

    at the top of the list is todays birthday girl, alyson shane, of winnipeg, manitoba, canada

    alyson is an oldschool blogger who still blogs on blogger.com

    and she does so beautifully and regularly, and with soul.

    every now and then she will send me a little email asking how i am whats going on and am i hanging in there

    i totally super appreciate that.

    we have done some “interviews” that i want to do with other bloggers after i saw how honest she was with her answers, so if i ever have a blogger book, you can thank alyson for being a great test subject.

    i dont know too much aboot manitoba other than, as she says, its lovely and beautiful and filled with great people

    apparently you can walk on rivers of ice as the moon is in the sky like a big apple pie

    and the hockey players commute by holding on to the tails of the wild moose that roam the streets.

    so happy birthday alyson. im sure you’ll have a fine time on the big town tonight!

  5. Tuesday, November 5, 2013

    will Toronto Mayor Rob Ford step down after admitting to smoking crack? 

    rob ford nopeOh hell no. Indeed here is a transcript from his press conference today:

    I embarrassed everyone in the city and I will be forever sorry. There is only one person to blame for this and that is myself.

    I know admitting my mistake was the right thing to do and I feel like 1000 pounds have been lifted off my shoulders.

    I can’t explain how difficult this was to do. I hope, I hope that nobody, that nobody has to go through what I have gone through.

    I know what I did was wrong and admitting it was the most difficult and embarrassing thing I have ever had to do.

    Folks, I have nothing left to hide.

    I would do anything, absolutely anything, to change the past. But the past is the past, and we must move forward. I want to be clear; I want to be crystal clear to every single person: these mistakes will never, ever, ever happen again.

    I kept this from my family, especially my brother Doug. My staff, my council colleagues, because I was embarrassed and ashamed.

    To the residents of Toronto: I know I have let you down and I can’t do anything else but apologize. I’m so sorry.

    I know, I know I have to regain your trust and your confidence. I love my job. I love my job and I love this city. I love saving taxpayers money and I love being your mayor.

    There’s important work that we must advance and important decisions that must be made.

    For the sake of the taxpayers of this great city, for the sake of the taxpayers, we must get back to work immediately. We must keep Toronto moving forward.

    I was elected to do a job and that’s exactly what I’m going to continue doing.

    In 2010, I made a commitment to Toronto voters. I have delivered on that commitment and I will continue to deliver on that commitment of saving taxpayers money.

    But they have a choice. We live in a democracy and on Oct. 27 of 2014 I want the people of this great city to decide whether they want Rob Ford to be their mayor. Again, I sincerely, sincerely, sincerely apologize.
    God bless the people of Toronto. Thank you very much.

  6. Sunday, October 13, 2013
  7. Tuesday, October 8, 2013
  8. Sunday, October 6, 2013

    today is sam younges birthday, shes 23 

    sam in a nice little outfitwhen sass’s bff sam came to LA last spring to visit i didnt busblog it because the entire night seemed like a freaky dream

    sass is mysterious and sweet

    and cool and in control

    and sam is tall and blonde and eternally happy

    and chatty with long

    long long legs

    that go right back up to canada.

    they said they wanted to watch a hockey game with me

    which all on its own seemed like some beautiful fantasy

    but it was real.

    i was all, hmmmm three tickets to staples to watch vancougar vs the kings?

    lemme see what i can do.

    but they said no no we wanna go to your favorite bar

    where the beers are $3

    and the waitresses dress like school girls.

    so i said ooooooookaaaaay

    and wondered what the catch was.

    the catch was they really wanted to get drunk and watch hockey in a bar filled with drunken americans

    but after the game was over they didnt want the party to stop so i said how about we go to don antonios i mean el compadre across from guitar center and have some real margaritas

    and maybe get serenaded by a trio of mariachis

    sam and sassand who knows maybe watch some rock stars get wooed by a record label in one of those dark booths in the back.

    strangely enough the ladies loved loved loved the flaming drinks

    as big as their heads

    and didnt seem to mind when jack white interrupted our conversation

    to offer them roses.

    a few months ago the xbi flowed me some cash to do some freelance work for them

    and because i was eyeing cat food at the 99 cent store i took them up on it.

    turned out they wanted me to get info on young sam younge!

    after a week i gave them all the details



    sam was born in toronto where she was forced to learn ballet, violin, and cross country skiing.

    her parents ran a small furrier import/export business known for mink pants – a fad that spread across canada briefly in the mid 90s.

    she rebelled by saying she would never wear pants ever again and has pretty much lived up to that threat.

    believe it or not but 16 year old 6 foot blondes in Canada are allowed free entry to whereever they want

    so she got a job at american apparel, met sass and traveled the world.

    turned out her favorite part was the mountains,

    where this summer she sent me this picture of her in a canadian limo

    sam in a boat

    her favorite holiday is halloween

    her dog pepper is a pisces

    she prefers hard cider over beer, but will settle for PBR

    and pink champagne

    out of a coffee mug.

    todays birthday girl moved to vancouver because thats what every canadian should do at least once

    shes never been to las vegas

    she has a tattoo that said busblog

    but magically turned into a hanger right before i filed my report

    hanger tattoo

    if she has twins she wants to name one angus

    and the other neil.

    even though it really should be angus and malcolm cuz come on

    but life isnt fair.

    happy birthday anyways.

  9. Wednesday, September 25, 2013
  10. Wednesday, August 14, 2013