busblog

nothing in here is true

  1. Sunday, March 13, 2011

    for rent 

    in chile

    its already summer in chile so yr girl etienne has been chillin at la playa.

    her little dog was not behaving on its virgin visit.

    Uva kind of went mental her first day at the beach. The ocean part was okay, it was the sand etiquette that sucked.

    usually i have a theory that goes something like this: hey how about no dogs at the beach unless they can catch frisbees.

    but when it comes to etienne she can do pretty much anything she wants, for all i care.

    even living in chile and not in la, next door to me.

    now that my next door neighbor has moved out.

    and the place is dog friendly.

    and lovable.

  2. Sunday, March 6, 2011
     

    your girl casie stewart showed off poutine and so much more 

    but the thing im glad she revealed was the amazing ability of canadian women in the winter and how they will dress as if its not zero degrees.

    they will wear skirts, they will wear heels, they will completely ignore the conditions and not even complain

    its something i didnt believe i was seeing two new years’ ago when my entire body froze as i ran from the hotel across the street to the 7-11

    and yet these babes were acting as if it wasnt no thing.

    fascinating.

     
  3. Thursday, October 14, 2010

    omg its lowercase carmen and sass zucket taking a picture for me 

    oh canada how do you do it?

    i moved to Los Angeles to run across women like these and just like in the song, love was right there in my back yard.

    sass: checkyerinbox

    busblog: awwwwwwwwwwwwwww what a great pic!
    busblog: where did you two take that pic?

    sass: at a bar named Unlovable
    in Toronto
    i ran into her
    serendipity

    busblog: did she mention my name?

    sass: no but i did and then she said you talked to her a few weeks ago

    canada is just crawling with hot blogger chicks. its really amazing to see in real life.

    i do wanna go up there for new years eve. im leaning toward TO again, but id prefer BC.

    but only if its off the hook.

    ANY CHANCES ANYONE IS UP FOR THINGS TO BE OFF THE HOOK BC?

  4. Thursday, February 25, 2010

    checking in with keri the canadian explorer 

    at the olympics IN CANADA!

     

    not only is keri smokin hot, but after a week of the olympics under her belt shes in beautiful form at Whistler as the Games make their home stretch.

    in this episode we learn a little about the Russian oly mascot. Canadas two mythical creatures. And the difference between Whistler and Vancougar.

    SHE YOUR CANADIAN FRIEND

    know what i love about her vids? all the crazy weird edits and wacky bits normal people would cut out.

    she makes me wanna make out with canada. moreso than normal. watch it till the end!

  5. Friday, January 1, 2010

    omg new years eve 


    the northern illinois marching band played in the lobby


    we went to a house party in a town called Barrie. Barrie has lots of snow


    the house had all kinds of people, many dogs, a cat, and lots of fish


    missc, paulie, and i dressed up as clockwork orange. we all played air hockey.
    g-d do people in canada love hockey!


    so yeah, we dressed up like clockwork orange. then the pirate eye patches came out.
    the only thing missing were the pimp canes and fake mustaches.


    carrie made paulie a 2 girls 1 cup cake. not one picture was sfw, except this one of Giuseppina taking a pic of the barbies


    she also made cookies. which were sfw. the name, rapey eye cookies, however, were not sfw


    after the ball dropped we hopped in the hot tub in the snow. as it snowed.
    mighty amazing, and in the morn we had eggs, toast, and Chocolate Milk!!!!

    Happy New YEAR!

  6. Wednesday, December 30, 2009

    im in Toronto Trick 

    flew outta Chicago with limited problems. yes there was a new rule that said that flights to Canadia would not allow carryons on their airplanes, but thankfully it did not include purses, laptops, camera bags, and emergency equipment. you know, what carryons used to mean way back in the day before people shoved their rolley luggage into the top of the plane because they were too special to go to baggage claim like the rest of us. lemme tell you. suddenly there was room in the overhead dealies. even moreso on my flight because when you fly on Saturdays or midweek, the planes arent packed. ah luxury.

    got picked up at the airport by the angel of toronto.
    my flight was delayed so Miss C drove in circles around YYZ for an hour(!)
    so when i got into her car i lifted my shirt like The Situation to brighten her day.
    then to brighten my day she drove me to the hugest christmas light show on one house in all of north america. witness:





    hi baby Jesus:

    two points Santa:

    after being amazed we ate at a place that only served shrimp if it was ontop of steak. sweet. then i checked into my hotel and Carrie was all, make sure they give you a room that looks out over where there will be fireworks and a huge concert and ice skating on new years eve. so i said cool and they said anything for the busblog, duh!

    omg view:

    walked around last night. it was negative a million degrees but i felt great cuz i was in a foreign land. gotta give it up to the homeless of TO, those are some committed gentlemen. saw one guy just sitting indian style outside the 7-11 begging. couldnta been a colder night. saw another guy sleeping in a little bank enclave which was smart cuz it was heated in there. but he had one hand down his pants and some of his ass cheek hanging out. brought a smile to my face. then saw two people who didnt look all that homeless, just looked like they couldnt find a hotel room, sleeping over some grates all cuddly and toasty lookin. but how could they be?

    anyways many props for their outdoor adventurism. i had two jackets on, a sweater, a cubs “toque”, a scarf, and gloves and i could only walk around maybe 4 blocks before i had to call bs on myself and run back to my room. but before i went up i noticed a LOT of activity at the ice rink outside. they were testing the lights and the sounds for the upcoming NYE celebration and tons of kids were skating out there in the middle of the night. and what really made me happy were two poutine trucks next to the rink. will definately hit up one of those trucks tonight.

    then in my hotel all these kids were on laptops in the lobby and playing chess and playing what i will call Knee Hockey. they run around in their knees on the carpet with tiny hockey sticks slapping at plastic pucks. OH CANAADA!!!

  7. Wednesday, December 2, 2009

    in honor of keira-anne turning 24 

    poutine at mcdonalds

    heres the first “interview” we ever did with her here on the busblog , enjoy!

    – interview with keira-anne of vancouver, bc, canada –

    Tony sez: Here I am with a Canadian girl with a hyphen. Will you please state your name.

    Keira-Anne says: Keira-Anne

    Age?

    My real one or my pretend one?

    It’s your world, baby.

    20 and a bit.

    Weight in kilos?

    Ouuu I have no idea. I work in pounds…and in that case, 136.

    Website URL.

    www.keira-anne.com

    Please explain your hyphen.

    Well, my name really isn’t hyphenated. At least not on my birth certificate. I toyed with the idea of going by Keira-Anne for so long after always just being Keira. The hyphen just makes it work I guess.

    Who designed your website?

    Technically the skeleton was built by Blogger, but I tweaked it, made it pretty and personalized it. I wanted to make it sleek, simple and easy to read. By blogger, I mean Blogger.com – they’re still my site host.

    Your site is really a Blogspot but you do some magic to make it look like its not?

    Does my site look magical?

    It doesn’t look like a Blogspot.

    Not looking like a typical Blogspot site was my main goal.

    Where did you learn your magical ways?

    From the magic set I got for Christmas when I was 9. You should see what I can do with a card and a nail.

    Is your MySpace all pretty too?

    It was, but let’s be honest…MySpace is pretty 2006.

    Aren’t Canadians supposed to be above trends and fads?

    That’s a good question. I’d like to think so, but apparently not. MySpace died for everyone at the same time.

    What’s the trendiest thing that you do nowadays?

    Blog

    Blogging is trendy?

    I’ll be honest – it’s why I got into blogging in the first place a couple years ago. I knew nothing of blogging geekdom, but it’s turned from something I did just because into something that I really enjoy.

    But I think people that started to blog because it was a trend have stopped blogging overall.

    What pleasure do you get from it?

    I’ve always loved to write and I’m a pretty expressive person. I love being able to do that in such an open way and I love being able to discuss things both with people I know and totally random people.

    Sometimes I’ll get an e-mail from someone telling me they’ve found a bit of encouragement through something I shared on my blog. It’s cliché, but things like that give me the momentum I need to keep writing.

    What does your boyfriend think of your blogging?

    If I had a boyfriend, I’d hope he’d be supportive of it.

    Oh I’m sorry, your girlfriend, what does she think of it?

    Hahaha…you’re so cheeky, Tony. I’m into he’s, not she’s.

    So you’re saying you’re a single girl?

    That’s definitely what I’m saying.

    How is that even possible? Is Vancouver that gay-friendly?

    That’s a most excellent question Tony. Vancouver really is gay-friendly, and I live in the gayest of neighborhoods. Even our garbage cans and bus stops are painted pink. Maybe I need to move.

    Do you drive to work?

    Definitely not. I walk in sun, rain, wind and snow. Being conscious of this planet and how precious it is is really important to me. I’d be a total jackass to walk the 10 blocks to work everyday.

    On your cute little girlie walk to work do dudes hit on you?

    What constitutes as “hitting on?”

    “Hey baby, yeah you, c’mere. Oh come on, baby, don’t be stuck up. Fine, how about your number – come one, just five digits? How about a little flash then? What about a smile? Are those real?”

    Hahaha…I can honestly say that nothing of that sort has ever happened. The extent of it would include glances and that’s about it. I think I must send out unapproachable vibes or something.

    Or I smell bad. That might be it too.

    You don’t wear perfume?

    I don’t smell bad. Sometimes I wear perfume.

    What kind?

    Lately it’s been L’Occitane’s vanilla balm – I’m crazy about that stuff! I’m also a sucker for Victoria’s Secret’s Love Spell. Now THAT’S magically babelicious.

    If you catch a whiff of a hot babe who smells good, will you turn around and find out what she’s rockin’?

    Nah…if I can smell her perfume from three or four feet away, she’s wearing too much in the first place.

    You never find yourself closer than that with women?

    Generally, no. But even so, I can’t ever remember asking a girl what she’s wearing.

    So you’re not rubbing up against girls and you’re not dating dudes? Your mom must be very happy.

    My mom’s a proud lady.

    Doesn’t she want you squeezing out grandkids?

    I know deep down she probably is. But I just got a new puppy so hopefully that’ll do the trick for her – for now at least.

    Are you the oldest of her kiddies?

    I sure am. I have a younger brother, but in many ways, he’s definitely my big brother.

    When did he become your big bro?

    I’d say it probably happened when I moved to Vancouver a little over three years ago. I think we finally just “got” each other and were able to respect that. He’s totally the guy I look up to more than any other guy and treats me with oodles of respect and integrity. I’m a lucky sister.


    What had you overlooked in him while he was a teen?

    I think a lot of it has to do with the fact that when he was graduating high school, I was already 20 so our realms were completely different. I also had a huge stick up my ass at the time, so that didn’t help things either.

    How did the stick get yanked out?

    In a nutshell, I stopped going to church and stopped living my life and making my decisions based on what other people expected of me.

    Wait. One. Second.
    You’re saying leaving the church helped you?

    Don’t be mistaken though…I said “church” and not “faith.” Those are two totally different entities, and I’m talking about the church as an establishment here.

    What did these people expect of you that you didn’t want to do?

    They expected me to say the right things and do the right things and get married by 25 and basically be perfect. Oh and I wasn’t allowed to say that bad word…you know, s-e-x.

    I’ve always been a pretty open-minded person when it comes to sex and sexuality and it’s a really interesting topic to discuss with people. I hated being muzzled for just being me.

    Did your parents understand your problem with their church?

    Absolutely. Oddly enough though, my family didn’t attend church with me – I started going on my own at 16.

    Most people in my life that truly love me are now able to say how much I seem myself and how much my wings no longer seem “clipped.”

    What inspired you to go to church by yourself at 16?

    I had a lot of friends that were going to youth group once a week and it was just that adolescent desire to feel included.

    Who are better kissers, church going boys or non-church going boys?

    I like this question! But I won’t discriminate – I’ve had good experiences on both sides.

    I’ve also had bad kisses on both sides.

    Have you ever kissed a girl on church grounds?

    I’ve kissed a girl on church camp grounds.

    Don’t get too excited though – we did it for the boys because we were being teases.

    Please elaborate, thank you.

    All I remember is that there were about five of us in the hallway: me, Girl X and three boys. I can’t remember who dared us to kiss, but one of the guys wanted a picture. It was a total closed mouth kiss but I adjusted my head and she told me to “stop Frenching” her.

    How old were you?

    Probably 19 at the time.

    You were at church camp at 19?

    True story.

    Was church camp as hot as I’m imagining it?

    How are you imagining it?

    Girls in plaid skirts in the woods getting their rosary beads tangled in the brambles. Kneehigh socks. Rosary necklaces. too-red lipsticks.

    You really like the plaid skirts, don’t you? I saw some this weekend and almost picked one up.

    I will say this about church camp: In my experiences, I’ve seen girl-on-girl kissing (obviously), skinny dipping, drunkenness, and major making out. Maybe more, but that’s about as scandalous as it ever got.

    20-year-olds are majorly making out, away from home, in the summer, in Canada, and that’s as far as it got?

    Does that disappoint you?

    It’s just hard to believe. Especially since in my visits to Canada all I saw pretty much were goodlooking girls.

    But this is Canadian church camp…not Wet Hot American Summer.

    Ok, you were there how many summers?

    Two full summers…once at 18 and once at 20, two months each summer.

    So that’s one hot chick in church camp. Are you saying you were the only one?

    Nah, there were definitely other hot chicks there.

    Does talking about God all day stop the hormones from raging? Is that what you’re telling me?

    It doesn’t stop the hormones from raging…I think it causes guilt for feeling the raging hormones.

    So kids raging with hormones are forced to masturbate at church camp?

    I guess so, but I never did.

    No lying in the busblog interview!

    I’m serious! It’s not something I felt good about doing until I was 19 or 20.

    Ah ha but you said you went to church camp at 20.

    This is true – I still never did that. We had dorm-style rooms.

    The boys were doing it I’ll bet ya.

    I wouldn’t doubt that for a second! I’m sure a lot of girls were too.

    When was your last boyfriend?

    Officially speaking as in brought home to mom and called my “boyfriend?” 18.

    When did you contract the HIV virus?

    Hahaha…I like to think of it as Carrie Bradshaw-itis. Either I pick wieners or wieners pick me.

    Do you not put out on the first date or something?

    The soonest I’ve put out was the third. Is that pushing it?

    It all depends. You kissed him on the first date at least.

    Oh for sure.

    And grabbed his ass when you kissed him, right?

    Some guys actually don’t like that…

    This is all baffling to me… What’s the catch?

    With what?

    You seem nice, you’re not bad looking.

    I like to think so.

    You’re a little over weight but it’s Canada.

    Ouch!

    Just kidding… You’re really picky?

    I can take it.

    Hmmm…I’d like to think that I’m not but maybe I am? I’ve never been one to be into a certain look with men. What gets me is their mannerisms. So without a certain look that I go for, am I capable of being picky?

    Their mannerisms ruin it for them?

    “Ruin” sounds like such a harsh word.

    Well are you saying that if you met a guy like LL Cool J and you were all yeah… But then you noticed that he licks his lips a lot. You’d be all, “nah.”

    I don’t know…if he looked adorable doing it, why not?

    Have any dudes that you dated during these last few years asked you to be their girlfriend?

    Nope.

    Why do you think that is?

    I’m really not sure, to be honest with you.

    What’s your guess?

    Bad timing, wrong circumstances? Sometimes, in my experience, guys just aren’t capable of or aren’t willing to buck up either.

    What was the longest you were with someone?

    About a year and a half…about two years ago.

    How is that not a boyfriend?

    Well, to me he seemed like it but in retrospect he wasn’t. I know I wasn’t the only girl.

    Oooooh ahhh ok. Did you subtly compete with her?

    Oh there was more than one other girl, I’m quite sure. I think I just lived in oblivion.

    If this fellow asked you to dress as a cheerleader and twirl around on his coffee table, would you have done it?

    I have an adventurous spirit – that sounds like a lot of fun actually…

    Did he ever ask you to do anything like that?

    Hmmm…nope. Too bad, hey?

    Did this chap know that you would have liked to have done something like that?

    Probably…but it doesn’t really matter now anyways. I’d rather dress up like a cheerleader for someone rad anyways!

    On what date would you dress up and twirl for a dude?

    I won’t say the first because a girl’s gotta have a bit of mystery. But really, why put a timeline on something like that? If I’m into you and have fun with you and feel real with you, then I’m going to dress up like a cheerleader if it’s what you want. Why not?

    Too many people ask “why?” when they should be asking “why not?”

  8. Thursday, May 1, 2008

    color me depressed 

    a canadian angel is now back to where she belongs. back to the igloos and eskimos. back to the land of poutine and waterfalls.

    back away from me.

    miss suzie reynolds flew in a week ago and flew out this morning. when i first met her i was all wow. when we hung out over new years i told her i loved her. after we drove through the desert i started to believe it.

    i meet a lot of people. rarely do i connect as quickly as i did with her. rarely when they leave am i sad and glum like i am now. rarely do i not wanna go back home.

    suzie hates lots of the things that i love. lots of the things im all aboooot. lots of the things that are in my heart but i didnt care. i still dont care.

    this morning we were tangled up and she was discombobulated and she took her elbow and slammed it behind her into my eye. i kissed her elbow, popped my eyeball back into the socket and went back to spooning and snoring. an hour later she punched me in the jaw, rattling a few teeth. beyonce sang about being dangerously in love, i wonder if jay-z wears a helmet to bed.

    the crazy thing is, the more i got to know her the more i liked your girl suzie and the more i liked her the more i told her i liked her and the more disgusted she became in me. but sometimes you realize that youre old and you dont care if the sunset is oblivious to you, you still wanna look at it, you still wanna warm yourself in it, you still wanna applaud it. youre still amazed by it.

    last night karisa wanted to have sushi so me and suzie met karisa at this great place and we ate and drank and the girls got along really well. suzie said in her brutally honest way, “you know i was expecting a lot of really beautiful women here in LA, but i didnt see any until i saw you.” we all drank our saki and toasted and karisa blushed.

    later we wanted to continue our buzz and the girls wanted to dance so we settled on manhattan beach where all the wrong people were in the totally wrong bar but we danced anyway. and drank. and no it didnt suck to have two super hot ladies to dance with.

    coachella totally impressed our girl, santa barbara completely wowed her, and she said that even the randoms at venice beach treated her nicely, which means that probably the most annoying thing about her trip out here was me.

    and i know that she is bringing her friends and family some little treats back home, but she gave me the best one this afternoon.

    she sent me this text message: “Hey Tony, i forgot one of my belly rings on ur bed. Im so hungover. Thanx 4 everything. Bye :):)”

    i couldnt miss her more.






  9. Thursday, October 25, 2007

    interview with keira-anne of vancouver, bc, canada 

    Tony sez: Here I am with a Canadian girl with a hyphen. Will you please state your name.

    Keira-Anne says: Keira-Anne

    Age?

    My real one or my pretend one?

    It’s your world, baby.

    20 and a bit.

    Weight in kilos?

    Ouuu I have no idea. I work in pounds…and in that case, 136.

    Website URL.

    www.keira-anne.com

    Please explain your hyphen.

    Well, my name really isn’t hyphenated. At least not on my birth certificate. I toyed with the idea of going by Keira-Anne for so long after always just being Keira. The hyphen just makes it work I guess.

    Who designed your website?

    Technically the skeleton was built by Blogger, but I tweaked it, made it pretty and personalized it. I wanted to make it sleek, simple and easy to read. By blogger, I mean Blogger.com – they’re still my site host.

    Your site is really a Blogspot but you do some magic to make it look like its not?

    Does my site look magical?

    It doesn’t look like a Blogspot.

    Not looking like a typical Blogspot site was my main goal.

    Where did you learn your magical ways?

    From the magic set I got for Christmas when I was 9. You should see what I can do with a card and a nail.

    Is your MySpace all pretty too?

    It was, but let’s be honest…MySpace is pretty 2006.

    Aren’t Canadians supposed to be above trends and fads?

    That’s a good question. I’d like to think so, but apparently not. MySpace died for everyone at the same time.

    What’s the trendiest thing that you do nowadays?

    Blog

    Blogging is trendy?

    I’ll be honest – it’s why I got into blogging in the first place a couple years ago. I knew nothing of blogging geekdom, but it’s turned from something I did just because into something that I really enjoy.

    But I think people that started to blog because it was a trend have stopped blogging overall.

    What pleasure do you get from it?

    I’ve always loved to write and I’m a pretty expressive person. I love being able to do that in such an open way and I love being able to discuss things both with people I know and totally random people.

    Sometimes I’ll get an e-mail from someone telling me they’ve found a bit of encouragement through something I shared on my blog. It’s cliché, but things like that give me the momentum I need to keep writing.

    What does your boyfriend think of your blogging?

    If I had a boyfriend, I’d hope he’d be supportive of it.

    Oh I’m sorry, your girlfriend, what does she think of it?

    Hahaha…you’re so cheeky, Tony. I’m into he’s, not she’s.

    So you’re saying you’re a single girl?

    That’s definitely what I’m saying.

    How is that even possible? Is Vancouver that gay-friendly?

    That’s a most excellent question Tony. Vancouver really is gay-friendly, and I live in the gayest of neighborhoods. Even our garbage cans and bus stops are painted pink. Maybe I need to move.

    Do you drive to work?

    Definitely not. I walk in sun, rain, wind and snow. Being conscious of this planet and how precious it is is really important to me. I’d be a total jackass to walk the 10 blocks to work everyday.

    On your cute little girlie walk to work do dudes hit on you?

    What constitutes as “hitting on?”

    “Hey baby, yeah you, c’mere. Oh come on, baby, don’t be stuck up. Fine, how about your number – come one, just five digits? How about a little flash then? What about a smile? Are those real?”

    Hahaha…I can honestly say that nothing of that sort has ever happened. The extent of it would include glances and that’s about it. I think I must send out unapproachable vibes or something.

    Or I smell bad. That might be it too.

    You don’t wear perfume?

    I don’t smell bad. Sometimes I wear perfume.

    What kind?

    Lately it’s been L’Occitane’s vanilla balm – I’m crazy about that stuff! I’m also a sucker for Victoria’s Secret’s Love Spell. Now THAT’S magically babelicious.

    If you catch a whiff of a hot babe who smells good, will you turn around and find out what she’s rockin’?

    Nah…if I can smell her perfume from three or four feet away, she’s wearing too much in the first place.

    You never find yourself closer than that with women?

    Generally, no. But even so, I can’t ever remember asking a girl what she’s wearing.

    So you’re not rubbing up against girls and you’re not dating dudes? Your mom must be very happy.

    My mom’s a proud lady.

    Doesn’t she want you squeezing out grandkids?

    I know deep down she probably is. But I just got a new puppy so hopefully that’ll do the trick for her – for now at least.

    Are you the oldest of her kiddies?

    I sure am. I have a younger brother, but in many ways, he’s definitely my big brother.

    When did he become your big bro?

    I’d say it probably happened when I moved to Vancouver a little over three years ago. I think we finally just “got” each other and were able to respect that. He’s totally the guy I look up to more than any other guy and treats me with oodles of respect and integrity. I’m a lucky sister.


    What had you overlooked in him while he was a teen?

    I think a lot of it has to do with the fact that when he was graduating high school, I was already 20 so our realms were completely different. I also had a huge stick up my ass at the time, so that didn’t help things either.

    How did the stick get yanked out?

    In a nutshell, I stopped going to church and stopped living my life and making my decisions based on what other people expected of me.

    Wait. One. Second.
    You’re saying leaving the church helped you?

    Don’t be mistaken though…I said “church” and not “faith.” Those are two totally different entities, and I’m talking about the church as an establishment here.

    What did these people expect of you that you didn’t want to do?

    They expected me to say the right things and do the right things and get married by 25 and basically be perfect. Oh and I wasn’t allowed to say that bad word…you know, s-e-x.

    I’ve always been a pretty open-minded person when it comes to sex and sexuality and it’s a really interesting topic to discuss with people. I hated being muzzled for just being me.

    Did your parents understand your problem with their church?

    Absolutely. Oddly enough though, my family didn’t attend church with me – I started going on my own at 16.

    Most people in my life that truly love me are now able to say how much I seem myself and how much my wings no longer seem “clipped.”

    What inspired you to go to church by yourself at 16?

    I had a lot of friends that were going to youth group once a week and it was just that adolescent desire to feel included.

    Who are better kissers, church going boys or non-church going boys?

    I like this question! But I won’t discriminate – I’ve had good experiences on both sides.

    I’ve also had bad kisses on both sides.

    Have you ever kissed a girl on church grounds?

    I’ve kissed a girl on church camp grounds.

    Don’t get too excited though – we did it for the boys because we were being teases.

    Please elaborate, thank you.

    All I remember is that there were about five of us in the hallway: me, Girl X and three boys. I can’t remember who dared us to kiss, but one of the guys wanted a picture. It was a total closed mouth kiss but I adjusted my head and she told me to “stop Frenching” her.

    How old were you?

    Probably 19 at the time.

    You were at church camp at 19?

    True story.

    Was church camp as hot as I’m imagining it?

    How are you imagining it?

    Girls in plaid skirts in the woods getting their rosary beads tangled in the brambles. Kneehigh socks. Rosary necklaces. too-red lipsticks.

    You really like the plaid skirts, don’t you? I saw some this weekend and almost picked one up.

    I will say this about church camp: In my experiences, I’ve seen girl-on-girl kissing (obviously), skinny dipping, drunkenness, and major making out. Maybe more, but that’s about as scandalous as it ever got.

    20-year-olds are majorly making out, away from home, in the summer, in Canada, and that’s as far as it got?

    Does that disappoint you?

    It’s just hard to believe. Especially since in my visits to Canada all I saw pretty much were goodlooking girls.

    But this is Canadian church camp…not Wet Hot American Summer.

    Ok, you were there how many summers?

    Two full summers…once at 18 and once at 20, two months each summer.

    So that’s one hot chick in church camp. Are you saying you were the only one?

    Nah, there were definitely other hot chicks there.

    Does talking about God all day stop the hormones from raging? Is that what you’re telling me?

    It doesn’t stop the hormones from raging…I think it causes guilt for feeling the raging hormones.

    So kids raging with hormones are forced to masturbate at church camp?

    I guess so, but I never did.

    No lying in the busblog interview!

    I’m serious! It’s not something I felt good about doing until I was 19 or 20.

    Ah ha but you said you went to church camp at 20.

    This is true – I still never did that. We had dorm-style rooms.

    The boys were doing it I’ll bet ya.

    I wouldn’t doubt that for a second! I’m sure a lot of girls were too.

    When was your last boyfriend?

    Officially speaking as in brought home to mom and called my “boyfriend?” 18.

    When did you contract the HIV virus?

    Hahaha…I like to think of it as Carrie Bradshaw-itis. Either I pick wieners or wieners pick me.

    Do you not put out on the first date or something?

    The soonest I’ve put out was the third. Is that pushing it?

    It all depends. You kissed him on the first date at least.

    Oh for sure.

    And grabbed his ass when you kissed him, right?

    Some guys actually don’t like that…

    This is all baffling to me… What’s the catch?

    With what?

    You seem nice, you’re not bad looking.

    I like to think so.

    You’re a little over weight but it’s Canada.

    Ouch!

    Just kidding… You’re really picky?

    I can take it.

    Hmmm…I’d like to think that I’m not but maybe I am? I’ve never been one to be into a certain look with men. What gets me is their mannerisms. So without a certain look that I go for, am I capable of being picky?

    Their mannerisms ruin it for them?

    “Ruin” sounds like such a harsh word.

    Well are you saying that if you met a guy like LL Cool J and you were all yeah… But then you noticed that he licks his lips a lot. You’d be all, “nah.”

    I don’t know…if he looked adorable doing it, why not?

    Have any dudes that you dated during these last few years asked you to be their girlfriend?

    Nope.

    Why do you think that is?

    I’m really not sure, to be honest with you.

    What’s your guess?

    Bad timing, wrong circumstances? Sometimes, in my experience, guys just aren’t capable of or aren’t willing to buck up either.

    What was the longest you were with someone?

    About a year and a half…about two years ago.

    How is that not a boyfriend?

    Well, to me he seemed like it but in retrospect he wasn’t. I know I wasn’t the only girl.

    Oooooh ahhh ok. Did you subtly compete with her?

    Oh there was more than one other girl, I’m quite sure. I think I just lived in oblivion.

    If this fellow asked you to dress as a cheerleader and twirl around on his coffee table, would you have done it?

    I have an adventurous spirit – that sounds like a lot of fun actually…

    Did he ever ask you to do anything like that?

    Hmmm…nope. Too bad, hey?

    Did this chap know that you would have liked to have done something like that?

    Probably…but it doesn’t really matter now anyways. I’d rather dress up like a cheerleader for someone rad anyways!

    On what date would you dress up and twirl for a dude?

    I won’t say the first because a girl’s gotta have a bit of mystery. But really, why put a timeline on something like that? If I’m into you and have fun with you and feel real with you, then I’m going to dress up like a cheerleader if it’s what you want. Why not?

    Too many people ask “why?” when they should be asking “why not?”

    part two tomorrow
    maybe

    all photos by keira-anne except the one from her Maxim spread

  10. Thursday, August 23, 2007

    hi canada 

    yesterday i was asked if i would ever leave LA.

    i said, sure, if i was in love with someone and i was able to write for a living and spend most of my day smoking weed in my pajama bottoms.

    the questioner asked
    would you move to new mexico?

    i said no.
    texas?
    austin.

    maine?
    no.
    new york?
    maybe. if i was paid three times more than i get now, maybe.
    kansas?
    no.

    oregon, yes.

    how about canada.
    and i said i would definately move to canada but only if i was married to a girl
    who loved wearing different cheerleader outfits every day.

    because if she didnt, come december id be saying, why the hell did i leave LA?

    but thank you miss604 and keira for your lovely hello from bc!