nothing in here is true

  1. Wednesday, July 8, 2015

    the clippers are in houston to convince their center to stay. 

    These are the Tweets the stars of the team made today to show how they’re getting there

    The team thought it was a done deal that D’Andre was going to move to Dallas

    But today news came out that there still is a day left until he is allowed to move.


  2. Tuesday, January 27, 2015
  3. Monday, January 26, 2015

    chris and i go to the clipper game 

    clippers game

    my buddy chris is a laker fan. he’s also a season ticket holder.

    he’s only been to two clippers games. one i took him to several years ago.

    and tonight.

    my boss is a clipper fan. he’s also a season ticket holder.

    for some reason he couldnt use his tickets tonight and asked if i was interested.

    i hadnt seen the clippers all year so why not, it was rainy and not really the type of night i wanted to uber in.

    chris picked me up at my pad after work and we drove in.

    we got to our seats, which were good, but after getting our second beer right before halftime we noticed these third row seats seemed lonely and maybe we should eat our nachos there until the half.

    the half came and went and no one booted us, so we stayed.

    its time to do work clippers

    meanwhile the clippers fought back to get the lead through dunks, great D, and solid passing.

    blake griffin ended the night with like 16 points 10 assists and 9 boards.

    i took the subway home and played with the cats who have sorta ignored me

    after they drank blood the other night.

    earlier at work i may have discovered a never before scene in the blues brothers.

    tomorrow i will have to investigate it closer.

    it could be amazing.

  4. Tuesday, June 17, 2014

    why lebron should become a clipper 

    tumblr_m9swpcsdh01qb5wbbo1_500Lebron James has a problem. he is the best basketball player in the world but everyone hates him.

    he doesnt wanna be hated. no one does. he may pretend it doesnt bother him but hes human. it kills him.

    which is why when his contract is over he will become a Clipper.

    almost anywhere he could go he would be hated except for the team with the weird recent history

    and two loveable stars.

    paul allen would easily be able to give him whatever he wanted, salary wise

    and he also might be able to pull some strings if the small forward wants microsoft to change the name of Internet Explorer to The King James Browser.

    Bron’s biggest mistake during the last Decision was in picking the favorite instead of the underdog.

    OKC doesnt have what it takes, San Antonio’s old, and the Lakers have a long way to go,

    the Clippers will always remember its first ring because of LeBron James

    and Compton will love him because in an unexpected stroke of genius he decided to buy a few homes in the South Central city.

    and work in the tattoo shop on the corner in the summer.

  5. Sunday, May 4, 2014

    Sat next to Farook and Ali at the Clipper game 


    xbi was all wanna see game 7?

    I was like nah

    They were all front row upper deck drink tickets free tacos

    I said yawn I’d rather see it at home, alone, in my pajamas

    They were all: you can park in our parking lot for free

    I said can I get a plus one?


    They were like sure but you gotta do a flavor for us.

    I went see always a catch with you guys can’t just flow a brother outta the kindness of your heart alwas gotta be quid pro quo alwas gotta be a ying pro yang. What. What do you want me to do: kill someone at halftime? Poison the other teams Gatorade? Hack the scoreboard? Trade arms for hostages?


    They said those are all great ideas, but can you bring us back a few shirts? They might be giving them away.

    And I felt bad for distrusting my old agency.

    So I said yeah sure.

    And at halftime I did them an extra favor at no add’l cost bc they had been so nice.

  6. Tuesday, April 29, 2014

    today donald sterling got banned for life from the nba for saying racist things 

    donald sterling with mistress

    because life is amazing and karma can be (close to) instant, heres how it went down.

    Sterling was pretty racist during most of his financially successful life.

    but because people are complex, he fell in lust with a half mexican half black 20something

    and started cheating on his wife of 50 years

    because as Chris Rock says, men are only as loyal as their options

    and apparently when youre rich or handsome you have lots of options.

    since Sterling is both, he can pull any woman in LA.

    unfortunately for him he wound up with someone who didnt appreciate being sued by his wife for $1.8 million

    maybe because she does not have $1.8 million, but she does have access to the Record app on her iPhone

    and she knew how to get her sugar daddy to talk and talk and talk.

    i wonder how she got him to do that. maybe it was the outfit she was pouring him the juice in?

    anyways the chain of events of Wife sues Mistress, Mistress releases Tape of Sugar Daddy

    to Sugar Daddy gets banned from NBA for ever-ever

    was quicker than anyone expected for a few reasons

    1. Sterling was unliked

    2. The evidence of the racism was clear

    3. It involved a beloved black NBA star who has been living beautifully with a deadly disease

    4. It spread through the Internet from a source that isn’t burdened by office politics: T Em Zed

    We are through the looking glass people.

    From now on I will only kiss my mistress and whisper sweet nothings into her ear.

  7. Wednesday, July 17, 2013

    dear tony, why do you think new laker chris kaman asked for a single digit number 

    retired laker jerseys

    instead of the number that he has worn his whole career, 35?


    roland harper

    Dear Roland,

    According to Funky Cold, the former Clipper “deadpanned his newly adorned No. 9 jersey had ‘zero significance’ other than wanting a single-digit number.”

    But I have a feeling that if I was going to join a team who have numbers 32, 33, and 34 hanging from the rafters

    Magic, Kareem and Shaq

    i’d be a little intimidated to put on 35.

    especially since all three of them are still quite vocal in Lakerland.

    indeed taking the number of another former Clipper turned Laker,

    Lamar Odom

    is a far more reasonable goal to shoot for.

  8. Tuesday, May 21, 2013

    why life sucks a lot: lead the eternally lousy Clippers to their best record ever = get canned 

    vinny del negro

    life isnt fair.

    if theres one theme the busblog has beaten into the ground it’s that one.

    the good stuff happens in weird chunks

    and the bad stuff happens when you least expect it to those who dont deserve it.

    the Clippers clearly want to re-sign their star Chris Paul

    Chris Paul clearly does not want Vinny Del Negro to be his coach so the Clippers let him go today.

    but in life it’s not always best to let the big superstar to decide who his boss will be.

    because when you do that you make the wrong person the boss and the one who was hired to be boss really isnt it.

    there are coaches and there are players. theres only one boss and it should never be the player.

    the boss should be the person who gets the best results out of the team.


    you dont have to like him, or understand him, or even believe in him.

    but if that fucker gets you wins in a respectful and honorable way he should not have to worry about job security.

    once again the clippers have made a giant error.

    unless they think Phil Jackson is going to come out of retirement to crush his girlfriend’s team.

    which aint happening neither.

    be loyal to the people who do amazing work for you: or prepare to harvest bitter herbs.

  9. Friday, January 4, 2013
  10. Thursday, December 6, 2012

    you dont even have to know much about hoops to enjoy this 

    the clippers were so on fire last night against the dallas mavericks

    that big mouth Mark Cuban was beside himself courtside during the final seconds

    just looking up in the sky with the saddest expression

    because this is exactly the type of fast break slam dunking run n gun team he loves

    the clips are young, fun, dynamic, deep, and firing on all pistons

    and they blew out the mavs last night at staples to a capacity crowd

    i totally shoulda gone but i took a nap, took a phone call, then slept for 7 hours more

    god bless you donald t sterling for letting this happen