nothing in here is true

  1. Wednesday, July 17, 2013

    dear tony, why do you think new laker chris kaman asked for a single digit number 

    retired laker jerseys

    instead of the number that he has worn his whole career, 35?


    roland harper

    Dear Roland,

    According to Funky Cold, the former Clipper “deadpanned his newly adorned No. 9 jersey had ‘zero significance’ other than wanting a single-digit number.”

    But I have a feeling that if I was going to join a team who have numbers 32, 33, and 34 hanging from the rafters

    Magic, Kareem and Shaq

    i’d be a little intimidated to put on 35.

    especially since all three of them are still quite vocal in Lakerland.

    indeed taking the number of another former Clipper turned Laker,

    Lamar Odom

    is a far more reasonable goal to shoot for.

  2. Tuesday, May 21, 2013

    why life sucks a lot: lead the eternally lousy Clippers to their best record ever = get canned 

    vinny del negro

    life isnt fair.

    if theres one theme the busblog has beaten into the ground it’s that one.

    the good stuff happens in weird chunks

    and the bad stuff happens when you least expect it to those who dont deserve it.

    the Clippers clearly want to re-sign their star Chris Paul

    Chris Paul clearly does not want Vinny Del Negro to be his coach so the Clippers let him go today.

    but in life it’s not always best to let the big superstar to decide who his boss will be.

    because when you do that you make the wrong person the boss and the one who was hired to be boss really isnt it.

    there are coaches and there are players. theres only one boss and it should never be the player.

    the boss should be the person who gets the best results out of the team.


    you dont have to like him, or understand him, or even believe in him.

    but if that fucker gets you wins in a respectful and honorable way he should not have to worry about job security.

    once again the clippers have made a giant error.

    unless they think Phil Jackson is going to come out of retirement to crush his girlfriend’s team.

    which aint happening neither.

    be loyal to the people who do amazing work for you: or prepare to harvest bitter herbs.

  3. Friday, January 4, 2013
  4. Thursday, December 6, 2012

    you dont even have to know much about hoops to enjoy this 

    the clippers were so on fire last night against the dallas mavericks

    that big mouth Mark Cuban was beside himself courtside during the final seconds

    just looking up in the sky with the saddest expression

    because this is exactly the type of fast break slam dunking run n gun team he loves

    the clips are young, fun, dynamic, deep, and firing on all pistons

    and they blew out the mavs last night at staples to a capacity crowd

    i totally shoulda gone but i took a nap, took a phone call, then slept for 7 hours more

    god bless you donald t sterling for letting this happen

  5. Monday, May 21, 2012

    final clipper game of the year 

    chris at staples

    xbi is taking the truest away for a few years.

    they think it’ll break me. (it may)

    they’re training her for something supercool and blah blah blah but i will miss her and so will LA

    so the xbi got us some front row (upper deck) clippers tix last night at staples and it was nice.

    before the game we went to mohawk bend and tipped a few. i ate fish n chips. she had a burger.

    we took metro there and back which meant i could have a few Sam Adamses for just $12.50 each.

    it made me think: how can i get in a situation where i am allowed to charge people $12.50 for a sixteen ounce beer.

    and then i thought, why would i ever charge someone $12.50 for a beer?

    maybe for a fundraiser to cure cancer. but other than that aren’t i being super greedy

    and kinda a bad person?

    did my mom go through 20 hours of labor so i could gouge people when i grew up?

    pretty sure she didn’t.

    anyway i love chris and it was very nice to see the game with her. even though it ended in heartbreak.

    chris had the best idea: clippers fans should get their beers for $5, tops.

  6. Monday, April 30, 2012

    dont ever give up. ever ever ever 

    phillie phanatic

    ive had girlfriends who dont understand sports. and dude co-workers.

    and they’d ask whats the point? these are all humans with gene mutations.

    these are all roided up jocks who you would have hated to be friends with.

    these are all freaks of nature who are benefiting from over excited pituitary glands.

    but id say this isnt anything like that. yes some of these people are taller or bigger or faster,

    but at the heart of sports just like the heart of anything are people who

    simply want to win.

    indeed, at the heart of sports is heart.

    something we can all relate to. something we can definitely learn from.

    this weekend several things happened that on paper should never have happened.

    The Clippers came back from an insurmountable deficit to beat the Memphis Grizzlies in Tennessee.

    The lowly Chicago Cubs went into Philadelphia to beat a team expected to make it into postseason play.

    and Albert Puljos of the Anaheim Angels, a man paid tens of millions a year, mostly to hit homers,

    could not hit the ball out of the infield, again.

    life has never been predictable.

    not the interesting moments, at least.

    keep playing.

  7. Thursday, April 26, 2012

    if you ever think you’re on the wrong team 

    by etienne

    and that your career is over or this year is gonna be horrible

    or that you need to fire your agent

    or that you should probably reconsider everything.

    here is something i want to interrupt your pessimism with.

    im going to call it The Los Angeles Clippers Playoff Schedule

    Game 1 – Sun, April 29 at Memphis, 6:30 (TNT)
    Game 2 – Wed, May 2 at Memphis, 6:30 (TNT)
    Game 3 – Sat, May 5 at Staples, 1:30 (ESPN)
    Game 4 – Mon, May 7 at Staples, TBD
    Game 5 * Wed, May 9 at Memphis, TBD
    Game 6 * Fri, May 11 at Staples, TBD
    Game 7 * Sun, May 13 at Memphis TBD
    * If necessary

    now take on the day

  8. Wednesday, April 25, 2012
  9. Saturday, March 31, 2012

    xbi was all we hear you wanna go see the clippers 

    clippers tick tock they never stop.

    for a while they worked their way in your dreams to subtly influence

    never expecting that the mental jujitsu they taught you as a kid could be used against them

    to end dreams.

    but hell yeah i wanted their tickets to the clip show

    cp3 to blake

    lob city


    parking pass

    “no strings attached.”

    crazy thing about the clippers game is its crazy.

    a bombardment to your senses at every moment.

    if the game isnt run n gun slam dunking behind the back passing

    clippers last minute shot over jail breakers

    its cheerleaders and dancers and little kid dancers and half court contests

    commercials and djs and kiss cam

    and 10 year old boys taking off their shirts next to their proud mommas

    xbi section is where they serve you sushi at yr seat superfast

    so you dont miss the tshirts flying the kid ripping off all his jerseys

    the black dude dancing in his seat, the drum line banging on the court

    the old lady kissing her old man and then high fiving the kid infront of her

    xbi likes to poison the ginger.

    they slipped me a phone

    today i mailed back the ringer.

  10. Saturday, January 28, 2012

    for most of my life i have had no idear what i wanted to do 

    courtside at the clippers game

    but now i do.

    i want to be steve soboroff.

    who is steve soberoff? hell if i know. but he gets to sit courtside with my girl riri

    at the hottest game of the year: the clippers lakers Battle of LA.

    and he gets to take a picture with her.

    i know steve is jacob’s daddy but that gets you courtside with the Caribbean Queen?

    imma have to investigate this in more detail for as much as i like jack

    i think id rather sit next to miss umbrella ella ella