nothing in here is true

  1. Monday, June 23, 2014

    the three best things i saw at coachella 

    2014 is half over which makes me wanna look back and give thanks

    to the killer things ive gotten to see so far.

    one thing i didnt expect to be as fun as it was was coachella.

    i thought it would be too hot, and that id get too tired and the music would blow

    but no it was great and miss lana del rey was a desert oasis

    she opened her set with the provocative Cola which spilled out into the front row


    the replacements were the main reason i was there and Paul hurt his back

    so they pulled out a couch for him to lay on

    and life pulled out Billie Joe Armstrong from Green Day to play with them

    on pretty much every song. he even sang I’m In Trouble while Paul lounged.

    typical unpredictable Replacements action for 75 minutes.

    arcade fire played so long coachella shut their mics off

    but that didnt stop them from being awesome

    they did one little acoustic victory lap around so everyone knew what to sing

    as they all went on their long journeys to their cars in the parking lot

  2. Friday, April 18, 2014

    brought toothpaste and white socks and swim trunks 


    and the sweetest cambridge audio iphone speaker box thats now discontinued and slippers and sunglasses


    and fruits and vegetables and whole grain coffee and crystals and dream catchers and external battery packs


    and golf clubs to go with our free in-garage golf cart and a point n shoot camera and its battery charger


    and iphone 5 lightning cables and tshirts and hoodies and lotion and blood pressure pills a kite and a scarf


    but i forgot pajama bottoms, vodka, and google chrome

  3. Thursday, April 17, 2014

    Standing in line at will call at Coachella 


    Chris and I drove out tonight instead of tomorrow mostly bc I had to get my ticket from will call. Tomorrow.

    But while we were at the gate of the condo they wouldn’t let us in because we are on the list for tomorrow not today. Chris knows we are paying for tonight but bc it was last minute the company prob didn’t put us on the list.

    So he said can you let us in at midnight? Technically that’s tomorrow. She said yes.

    I noticed will call was open till 2. So we drove over. I stood in line for 5 minutes while blogging this. And now I’m registering my wristband.

    This is exactly how Jimi Hendrix imagined.

  4. Wednesday, April 9, 2014

    it was only a matter of time before a transexual porn star ubered me 


    can you take me to the drug store and then subway and wait for me while i get all the stuff? also do you have a phone charger, i think i left mine in the dungeon.

    what were you doing in the dungeon i asked hoping she’d say she was the lighting or sound person

    10169098_10152316717223057_1866407798_ninstead she said, losing my self respect.

    we were driving down wilshire. pretty close to where rfk was assassinated.

    i said, well hopefully you lost that well before you entered the dungeon.

    laughs. drug store didnt work out so we started looking for subway sandwiches. she was asking her Siri, i had Waze it was a very confusing situation because we were both struggling for control but the customer is always right and we did a whole circle and ended up a half block from the drug store. and i waited.

    finally she came back and said the line was too long there. but then convinced herself it would be cheaper just to wait, minus me running the meter.

    i felt relieved because you only make like twenty cents a minute if youre waiting. its so not worth it. we said too-da-loo and i was off again.

    got this guy who used to go to hamilton high. wanted me to take him to literally South Central avenue.

    he was surprised that i knew of hamilton high but i didnt let on that i knew it from when i was overseeing a bunch of reporters at kpcc and i fought to keep one of our best writers on hamilton instead of getting distracted by miramonte. and because of that we got the scoop.

    hamilton had the teacher of the year… who was also allegedly doing some of the boys. it was a creative magnet school focusing on the performing arts.

    my passenger said the teacher was soooo good at piano and was a really good teacher but it didnt surprise him that 22 former students said he was inappropriate with them because “he liked to get really close to you when he explained things”

    and he was very touchy feely.

    10178461_10152316592103057_1050089393_npassenger said right after the allegations made the LA Times there he was at the Disney Hall for an Alvin Allie dance performance costarring one of his recently graduated students. passenger said he went up to him and said, you have Some nerve being here right now.

    omg dramz

    dropped him off right next to the police station where hayley and i did the ridealong a year and a half ago and i got back to downtown

    there i picked up two younguns who were super british and two swedes.

    one of them had this see through plastic skirt and a great tshirt. so much style!

    as luck would have it the three left her at one apartment and i was to drive her alone to the other.

    so after i asked if she wouldnt mind if i took a picture of her outfit and she said no probs

    after i said Hay-dough which means adios in swedish.

    then when i least expected it i got beeped by Hathaway.

    only one Hathaway in all of LA, and its the one i worked with at E! 12 years ago. maybe 14.

    she was there with another ex coworker, Aimee. omg what a small world we live in.

    why was i driving tonight?

    because it was super warm. like beautifully warm

    and also because i had just spent $800 on coachella vip and i want to pay it off before the bill comes.

    someone helped me get the ticket and i said oh i have the perfect thank you gift, whats your addy?

    and she said are you nuts you paid full hit on that ticket we’re good.

    i said, yes but theyre “sold out”. she said but you still paid money.

    i said theres only two reasons i have money: to pay rent and to see rock shows.

    and even though we laughed it is so true.

  5. Saturday, January 11, 2014

    paul asks, “in order who are the bands, by day you wanna see at Coachella”? 

    the replacements

    Friday: The Replacements, Bryan Ferry, The Afghan Whigs, The Cult, Girl Talk, Outkast, John Spencer Blues Explosion, Dum Dum Girls, Preatures

    Saturday: Lorde, Pet Shop Boys,  Foxygen, Pharrell Williams, Nas,  Muse, Warpaint, The Internet, Skrillex

    Sunday: Arcade Fire, Lana Del Rey, Motorhead, Beck, Fishbone, Surfer Blood, Trombone Shorty, Little Dragon, Beady Eye, Toy Dolls

  6. Wednesday, January 8, 2014
  7. Monday, April 15, 2013
  8. Sunday, April 14, 2013
  9. Friday, April 12, 2013
  10. Thursday, January 24, 2013

    the red hot chili peppers? 


    i’ll bet you twenty bucks Coachella will do something actually interesting that night

    like add Kendrick Lamar

    or have Jimmy Page, Jack Black, Jack White, and John Paul Jones

    all show up wearing nothing but socks

    and play Houses of the Holy all the way through with the Peppers

    because NO WAY did Al Gore invent Coachella so that

    the same band who just sold out Staples Center two nights in a row

    off a pretty mediocre record, is bringing anything truly magical

    to such a magical yearly event.

    i have nothing but love for them, but seriously theres no added benefit to them there as is.

    youre almost better off just saving your money and just letting the Yeah Yeah Yeahs headline

    or Dinosaur Jr.

    or Tsar