“Jews, spics, niggers and now a girl?” – actual line from “The Bad News Bears” trailer, 1976

bad news bears

for baseball fans, there’s no better week than this week, the Opening Week for the national past time.

if you are a baseball fan of a certain age, the original “Bad News Bears” was a gift from above

a classic movie that captured some of the best and worst elements of Little League in a totally hilarious way.

while subtly commenting on one of the more serious aspects of the 70s: divorce.

is there even one “good” family shown in the film? no.


the father of one son, a politician, is paying walter matthau’s character, Mr. Buttermaker, to coach the team, and quickly offers to pay him to disband the awful ensemble

the father of the dreaded yankees is hell bent on winning at any cause,  resorts to violence on his son, and the worst crime of all: uses the intentional walk in a cowardly way

and when an important game seems out of hand, many in the crowd, assumably family members LEAVE THE GAME. to beat traffic?

Buttermaker, who hasn’t seen his 11 year old daughter in two years,  is the most likable adult in the whole film, despite all of his flaws including only reaching out to his daughter because she’s pretty good at the curveball he taught her when she was 9.

we don’t even see the best player’s family, who is noticeably absent after he wins an important game, and has to ride his Harley home, alone.

the kids are cussing all through the movie, despite Buttermaker’s weak attempt to reign them in.

perhaps not shocking in the context of the film, but what i was surprised at was how the line “Jews, spics, niggers and now a girl?” made it into the official Paramount trailer.

37 years ago, it appears you could pretty much get away with anything to sell your PG movie.

Anti-semitism, racism, sexism? Fine.

To quote another line from a commercial of that era, You’ve come a long way, baby.

more rock stars telling the stuffy upper crust off in commercials please

by now you know i love @Courtney and for that i do not apologize

but like the queen of england, i too am startled when i see someone smoke an eCigarette

in a place where tobacco is generally verboten.

the last time i experienced shock and ahhhhh was when @Glenda lit up next to me while at Fred 62

seems ive only seen extremely strong women and femme dudes smoking these puppies

which is why Mrs. Cobain is the perfect choice to be NJOY’s spokesperson.

what are some other products she should endorse? glad you asked.

non-rip-able stockings

Grey Poupon

Pepto Bismol (too keep you pretty on the inside)

why it’s totally cool to call Bob Dylan “Zimmy” if you ever meet him

on one of dylan’s best albums is the song “you gotta serve somebody“.
in the song the narrator says no matter what happens youre gonna either have to serve the devil or the lord.
and in the song theres a section where dylan sings:

You may call me Terry, you may call me Timmy
You may call me Bobby, you may call me Zimmy
You may call me R.J., you may call me Ray
You may call me anything but no matter what you say
You’re still gonna have to serve somebody…

Only because i’m old as the hills do i remember where Dylan takes this from.

in the late 70s there was a comedian named Bill Saluga who had a hugely popular bit
where he’d say his name was Raymond J. Johnson Jr.,

but you didn’t has to call him Raymond. You could call him Ray, or you could call him J…

way more after the jump

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hello tony, who does the “i’m back, back in the new york groove” song in that commerical

ace frehleys solo album

when Kiss were at its peak, the ever shrewd Gene Simmons convinced the band

to each make solo records

Gene’s album was terrible, but it reached #22 on the album charts because the year was 1978 and everyone was high off weed. his single was “Radioactive”. guest stars like Cher, Bob Segar and Joe Perry were on it. it had the best cover art. gene didnt even play bass on it.

Paul had the second most successful single off the four solo albums, the miserably sappy oh-so 70s afterschool special-esque “Hold Me, Touch Me (Think Of Me When We’re Apart)”. His album barely broke the Top 40.

Peter Criss had the only solo album where Casablanca released two singles. The first was the middle of the road “Don’t You Let Me Down” which you’d never guess came from a rock star. You can understand why the label was quick to release the second single “You Still Matter to Me” with lyrics like this:

I ain’t no good at talkin’
So girl I’m tellin’ you straight
My heart feels just like an orphan
I hope I’m not too late

The record bombed.

Ace had actual rock songs on his album including “Snow Blind” which was later covered by Skin Yard and “Ozone” which the Foo Fighters covered on a b-side.

But his hit was “New York Groove” which was written by secret classic rock songwriter Russ Ballard who also penned Rainbow’s “Since You’ve Been Gone”, Santana’s “Winning”, and “God Gave Rock & Roll To You” which Kiss covered in 1991 for the film “Bill & Ted’s Excellent Adventure”.

Because life isn’t fair, AT&T does not use the Frehley version in their recent commercial.

Instead it chose to use the original version from the UK glam group Hello who had a british hit with the tune three years earlier in 1975.

regardless, now you know why bands dont get to release 4 solo records in one year any more.

runway models are just like us

not entirely comfortable that this is a commercial for red bull

but i guess its a more interesting commercial than half the crap we normally are subjected to.

and at least it reinforces that strange truth that some dudes will wear the dumbest clothes to get close to super skinny girls.

the irony of it happening in a grocery store where none of the famished buy any food is just a bonus

and wouldnt you know it, your girl casie stewart was there and has this report

what the hell is going on here

bra panty and over-the-knee socks

yes i know its an ad for american apparel.

but whenever i see one of their billboards or ads i think what happens when i have little daughters and they see that ad and their friends see that ad and they say daddy can we go to american apparel and buy some of those clothes, those girls look so pretty.

what am i supposed to say to those little angels?

i cant say “you dont see mommy dressing like that do you?” cuz mommy better have some of that tucked away. so now im a hypocrite. in front of my sweethearts.

im so doomed.

thats what dov charneys soft core porn ads teach me. that im a sellout, a liar to my unborn spawn, and easily manipulated through display ads.

its a wonder i can even feed myself.