nothing in here is true

  1. Monday, August 20, 2012

    in the last 48 hours 

    tony scott jumped off a bridge to his death

    phyllis diller died at 95

    rosie o’donnell had a heart attack

    i had at least two kidney stones

    an oklahoman valedictorian is having her diploma held because she said hell

    the guy who said “legitimate rape” seldom makes women pregnant has decided to stay in the race even though his big tent party says their tent isnt big enough for him.

    and the guy who sang the super 60s song about frisco died

    good thing my doc has ordered me to stay in bed

  2. Monday, January 26, 2009

    they cant share a six pack 

    octomom and brood

    i used to want a big family. now im glad the lord loves us and ignores us sometimes most of the time.

    not sure what this lady wanted, but today she got eight babies.

    thats a team of some sort. field hockey? water polo? olympic handball?

    you know the problem with the iphone? for some reason people txt me. today it was things like “rod on the king tonight”

    for some reason i didnt understand it was the illinois governor on larry king. taking our calls! oh for the days captain janks calling to ask the guest something about howard stern.

    even though i am leaning toward the argument that rod blagojevich is technically not guilty because you can talk about those sorts of things but if you dont do it youre not guilty; but i think he should step down because its sorta like when a girl wants to break up with you.

    illinois just needs its space, blago.