busblog

nothing in here is true

  1. Tuesday, January 3, 2017
  2. Friday, December 30, 2016

    2016, a year in review 

    in january mcdonalds introduced mozzarella sticks but people complained you couldnt taste the cheese and when the company realized that it would not be profitable to add enough cheese to the stick to satisfy people, they discontinued the item. RIP mozzarella sticks.

    in february, pop singer Kesha, who had asked her record label, Sony, to release her from her contract because she claimed her producer, Dr. Luke, sexually abused her, had her request denied by the NY supreme court because it said her contract was technically with his company and not Sony. for his part, Dr. Luke refused to break or alter the contract. Kesha claimed she could not ever work with him again because of what she had gone through and musicians went to Twitter to support the singer who at just 28 years old had sold over 40 million records. throughout the year she appeared at the Grammys, at Coachella, and on selected cities in a mini tour. in August she dropped her lawsuit against Dr. Luke and just last week she revealed that she is recording some very emotional material. RIP legal bills!

    he was fat, he was funny, he had a great accent, he drank a lot, he smoked crack, he did a radio show with his brother, he went to rehab, and in march he died. RIP Toronto Mayor Rob Ford.

    in april Prince died. he was the most talented instrumentalist and singer ive ever seen. he couldnt walk five steps without four of them being sexy. for a week after his death all people wanted to talk about was his life, his mysterious passing, and all the times he blew our minds. this was a picture i took at the Troubadour in 2008 and almost got roughed up by his security when i was told to delete it immediately. fortunately i had texted it to my dear mother. what was notable about this performance was it was almost exclusively jazz, prince barely sang, it cost $100, and two of the kardashians were a few feet above me. i left disappointed, but i was royally disappointed in april. RIP Prince

    in may i ubered these brentwood school girls to a party in the hills of beverly and then whined about them when i got home. RIP Drake

    in june, boxing great Muhammad Ali died and newspapers from east to west paid tribute to him by putting his picture on the front page. except the LA Times, my favorite paper, the one i had loved for decades and subscribed to through thick and thin. they claimed the news came at them “after deadline” which drew criticism when newspapers in New York City seemed to have no problem printing the news despite the time difference. when my subscription ended in november i didn’t renew and the times didnt go out of their way to get me back. RIP subscription

    in july there were a rash of murders of black men by mostly white police. some of the killings were documented on video and when the united states of america saw it they were outraged because in some of the instances the police lied in their reports (before they knew a tape had been made), and zero of them went to jail. many of the men were unarmed when they were killed and when one police officer asked why he shot the man laying on this back with his arms up, he said I Dont Know. there were marches around the country and in LA the protesters formed an impromptu peace symbol in Inglewood just over the 405. the phrase black lives matter was formed but the courts and the police departments were all LOL. RIP black men

    in august the phone rang and the breathy slightly east coast femmey voice whispered who are you wearing? i said montgomery ward. she said take me to supper and then take me to the stars. it was zulieka, she had gotten a divorce and an airline ticket to america. she was in town. in a convertible in malibu. how quickly could i get to santa monica? i said, ask anyone: quickly. RIP plans

    i september in chicago, like most refined cub fans. the weather is beautiful, the beer is cold and usually bleacher seats are reasonably priced. this year the cubs were so far in first place that the demand was low even though every game was sold out. weird how that works. but my buddy bob secured a ton of tix and even made tshirts as we had quite the night. RIP st. louis

    in october the cubs faught their way through the playoffs and into the world series. tickets for the three games at wrigley were going for $4k-$20k each. someone asked me if i was going. i said i dont have $4k. they said why dont you try a gofundme. i said, well that sounds crazy and it will be embarrassing if it doesnt work but who cares, the cubs are in the world series woooooooo. and my friends all chipped in and there i was back in the bleachers of wrigley field but for the world series. and in the second row! i still dont believe it. RIP entire bucket list

    in november the cubs won the world series and i was still in chicago just in case this would happen and i went to the parade where they say 5 million people were, and people were literally dancing in the street. we all were. it was like nothing i ever expected. and way better. me and my mom went to wrigley and said hi to harry caray at his grave. less than a week later america would vote for hillary but america would deem donald trump the president. RIP america

    in decemeber we all realized we are gonna die and nothing matters any more.

  3. Sunday, December 25, 2016

    joy to the world, all the boys and girls 

    today a child was born.

    a child who scared leadership so much that the king ordered to have him killed.

    his dad couldnt get a hotel room.

    a gigantic star was blowing up his spot.

    it was cold as balls.

    and the artists kept painting him with blue eyes.

    the donkeys knew what was up.

    as did the mule and the lambs.

    and the goats.

    and the drummer boys.

    the killers were coming, but so were the wise men.

    and all around him were angels, chillin,

    doing what they could,

    which was little.

    it’s ok. he had this.

    you have this.

    today is the day God became human, striking fear into all the things that should be fearful,

    and hope into the hearts of the hopeful.

    today inspired a long list of beautiful songs, weird customs, and totally unrelated activities.

    but at its heart is love.

    the best of all.

    merry christmas from the world famous busblog

    and the super secret xbi

    champions of the world.

  4. Tuesday, November 29, 2016

    it’s only been a few weeks since the Cubs won the World Series 

    cubs locker room

    it seems like a million years ago because Donald Trump took a giant poop in the punch bowl

    REGARDLESS OF THAT

    i have been regularly inspired by what they did and i am using it in my daily walk

    often i hear myself saying

    is it impossible? dude, the Cubs came back from a 3-1 deficit in the World Series

    where they had to win the last two games on the road

    and not only did they do it

    but they finished it all off  in an extra inning game

    in the freaking rain!

    and people say to me, youre right, i guess anything is possible.

    EVEN THIS IS POSSIBLE!

    and thats why i will always have warm feelings about 2016

    even though it will probably be the last full year before the nuclear winter.

  5. Thursday, November 24, 2016

    do i have anything to be thankful for? i do. 

    tumblr_o3fc93v5jj1v698nuo1_500

    starting with you, my family, and friends,

    family

    and all the great food we get to enjoy.

    cubs world series ring

    the Cubs of course especially Theo Epstein and the brewers of Old Style Beer.

    old style

    I am thankful for my health, and the health of Emily Ratajkowski.

    emily

    I am thankful for my great job,

    oscars

    my side hustle,

    when uber was fun

    and high speed internet. I am thankful for my cats even though they are super weird and pretty much ungrateful and entitled.

    cats

    I’m thankful for my khaleesi

    khaleesi

    and all my Uber and Lyft passengers who all want to take selfies with me for some reason.

    obey peace

    I am thankful for the Obey sample sale, Howard Stern, Baba Booey, Fred, Sour Shoes,

    howard stern and beth stern

    Fat Artie, and Robin’s health. I am thankful for the Internet, all my past and future loves.

    JAG2

    I am thankful for German engineering, Mike Tyson,

    xbi mobile in dtla next to mike tyson

    and all my high school friends who have now had their dreams come true

    friends

    – thanks to the Cubs, Theo and the brewers of Old Style.

    rihanna

     

    I’m thankful for Taylor Swift, Rihanna, cheap gas, Anna Kournikova,

    bukowski

    Charles Bukowski, Iceberg Slim, the Truest,

    kanye smiling bc he's happy

    and I pray for good health for Kanye West.

    springsteen on the sunset strip

    I’m grateful for Little Armenia, Hollywood Blvd., and Sunset Blvd where the freaks come out.

    obama trump

    I am thankful for my president, Canadian McDonalds,

    the pants

    all of the jobs of my past, the voters of California who made weed legal,

    isla vista

    Isla Vista, rock music,

     

    hippie friends

    my college friends who continue to rock, the Hollywood Bowl,

    sass and her friend in my crib

    Canadians who move to Cali,

    bono and friends

    the readers of the busblog, the moon,

    books

    my favorite book The Bible, KFC $5 Fillups,

    shortsop tyler

    left handed leadoff hitting shortstops who happen to be my nephew,

    jeff solomon lincoln

    and President Abraham Solomon

  6. Wednesday, November 9, 2016
  7. Monday, November 7, 2016

    just realized weed might become legal tomorrow 

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    and unlike a certain baseball team, these people did it super quiet like

    14915195_10154656944723057_1287964540351998138_n

    it might just sneak in there when no one is looking. i mean i saw some pretty whiny complaints in some letters in the LA Times but thats about it.

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    tomorrow at this time you might be reading on here that Cali did it. a little late, but still. did it.

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    any other year i might be nervous about what will go down tomorrow.

    art institute

    but this year i know the Good Lord is looking down on us and He’s ready too.

  8. Sunday, November 6, 2016
  9. Friday, November 4, 2016
  10. Thursday, November 3, 2016

    me and mom go to Wrigley Field, a film 

    me and mom at wrigley

    my mom hates driving and hates riding in cars too.

    she thinks everyone else on the road are big huge poop monsters and shes possibly right.

    so today around lunch time i was all, ma, lets go TO WRIGLEY FIELD

    she was like, ABSOLUTELY NOT!

    i said, how about if we take Irving Park Road all the way down.

    she was like, it’ll still be full of crazy pants fools around Wrigley.

    i said, true but i promised this sweet young lady that i would write her dad’s name on the wall at Wrigley where everyones writing the names of their loved ones who didnt get to see the Cubs.

    still in the glow of last night’s giant victory my mom caved in and there we were driving the slowest route ever from the suburbs to the Friendly Confines.

    wrigley wall

    once we got there it was awe inspiring.

    names everywhere. i guess over 108 years a lot of sweet people came and went. and tragically none of them saw the Cubs win the world series.

    so here’s why Cub fans are like no other. there was boxes of chalk everywhere. for free.

    cub fans wall

    and there were lots of parentes with their kids and the kids were waaaay into chalking up the wall, the street, light poles, the curb, their sisters, cops, drunk fratboys passed out in the gutter.

    i even saw someone put his grampas name on the shoe of mayor rahm emmanuel.

    and because every reachable part of the walls were covered: PEOPLE BROUGHT LADDERS AND LEFT THEM THERE SO THAT OTHERS COULD GET UP HIGH AND PUT MORE NAMES UP THERE.

    cubs ground

    it was such a beautifully colorful outpouring of love, remembrance, and thanksgiving, i nearly started bawling like a baby, because deep down im just a man on the verge of tears when i think about the Cubs and what it means to so many people in this beautiful city

    a city, that by the way, has had the most wonderful weather this week. like warm and rainy at night and sunny in the day. freaky nice.

    harry's grave

    before we went to Wrigley we visited Harry Caray’s grave in Des Plains. i aint never visited a cemetery to see the headstone of a “celebrity” before, and it was kind of amazing.

    little known fact: cemetarys dont give a shit if you visit them. in fact, they welcome it. the doors are open, you can drive around easily. and on Find A Grave .com they even tell you where the famous person’s resting spot is.

    mom and i drove around the big cemetery for a while, gawking at the unusually large headstones and i expected a group of people or security or something… but when i saw bushels of green apples i knew we were there.

    in a previous photo of harry’s grave i saw like 6 apples on his headstone but as you can see, i was not the first person to go there and say bro, they did it. we are champs. and we are thinking of you!

    i brought a bottle of Old Style and decided id set it down next to that pumpkin.

    me at harry carays grave

    but first my mom took this picture.

    the two women that you see in the far left corner saw us coming and gave us some time to read some of the things people had written on apples and signs and bags of Cracker Jacks and when they saw us leaving they headed back to his grave. the women were both wearing Cubs shirts and I tipped my hat to them and we told each other how happy we were and how great Harry was and it was so ridiculously sweet i wanted to hug them.

    as we got in the car we saw that they were back in front of his grave, tending to it. chatting.

    not leaving any time soon.

    and weirdly me and mom didn’t really feel like leaving either.

    it was an extremely peaceful, chill spot.

    i thought, so is this how its gonna be now?

    is life just mellow and beautiful after your biggest dream comes true?

    hope so.