nothing in here is true

  1. Wednesday, November 30, 2016

    today is danielles birthday. shes 24 


    i have a new picture of her but im lazy. i have new stories to tell but im tired. what i can reveal is danielle doesnt look even half her age.

    she has the energy of a small child who just ate a box of Smarties and drank a gallon of Kool-Aid

    she has jokes. she has insights. she has long legs and beautiful hair.

    but most importantly she has style.

    i mean soul.

    Danielle will win you over in seconds, not minutes. you might not believe it, but you should. its real.

    she is real. she keeps it real. she kept it real on her blog but she kept it super real by quitting blogging.

    heres my list of people im sad quit blogging:


    the pants


    the LA Times


    danielle got a room at the ace and said a few things and they said omg danielle THE danielle, would you like a free upgrade?

    she said yes yes yes. and they said would you like a room with a balcony and a guitar

    a room with a balcony and two lines of cocaine

    or a room with a balcony and a record player?

    she said do you have any Leonard Cohen records and they said, hipster please, of course!

    and maybe thats why she was in such a good mood, she knew she had great tunes waiting for her in her room after the show.

    happy birthday miss san dieger!

  2. Tuesday, November 29, 2016

    to celebrate Danielle’s birthday 

    seu jorgewe went to see Seu Jorge at the Ace.

    we had a very special guest, a certain news reporter who i had never met before.

    i rushed home so i could change clothes (it was colder than i had expected) and get a Lyft to DTLA

    danielle chose Terroni, a cool modern italian joint

    her longtime doctor bf was there

    he and i talked as the ladies chatted

    danielle was in fine form, very excited, beautiful, happy, full of life.

    it was great to see her again.

    our special guest, claudia, was right there with danielle, very energetic, bouncing with danielle

    as we walked to the ace danielle handed us sparklers

    we walked down broadway and this well dressed black dude freestyled

    and then asked us for money

    but i was all, hes dressed better than i have ever dressed.

    the show was great. it was just Seu and his guitar.

    he told some funny stories about learning the Bowie cover tunes

    he had never toured with this material before.

    the crowd was waaaaay into it.

    many were wearing the red caps from the Wes Anderson film, A Life Aquatic, that Seu performed the songs for orignally.

    we walked to city hall.

    she drove me home.

    i fell asleep like a rock.

    three beers will do that to me.

    fun night all around!

  3. Monday, November 30, 2015

    today is danielle’s birthday, shes 24 


    the reason i believe in the Lord is because i was very depressed working at E! and the good Lord literally brought an angel to me.

    from the very first time that we met we totally hit it off.

    she was the most bubbly, alive person in the whole joint.

    she made everything fun, even though none of it was fun


    her real job was to figure out with me how we were going to get her shows into the post production rooms

    and in the studio.

    so many of the people who i had to work with were not very fun because they too were depressed.

    but when it was time for danielle to come down and work on the schedule it was a joy.

    such a joy that we would have lunch almost every day and have beautiful photoshoots


    every now and then we would venture to my house for some reason

    perhaps it was because she wanted some after-work Thai food

    maybe it was so we could just get as far away from work as possible

    and try new props for our shoots.


    who knows, who cares. all i know is many of the pictures ended up on this blog and you all loved her as much as i did

    and still do.

    she is the only reason to visit san dieger. shes the only reason that boring place is still in the USA

    i cant believe its been 24 years since shes moved down there.

    in a perfect world shed move back up here and live next door to me and all will be well in the world again

    but life doesnt spin that way. right now shes being an angel where its most needed.

    so we should be grateful for the beautiful times we had together.

    happy birthday danielle!!

  4. Thursday, October 29, 2015

    the main reason i drive a benz is because of danielle 

    daniellesome people just have class.

    im not that person.

    thats why i rely on some special friends to help me through things.

    i met danielle back before i had a car. they said hey theres a new girl on the fourth floor and youre gonna love her.

    i said why dont you love her?

    they said oh we love her but youre gonna Looooooooove her.

    and sure enough on our first encounter we hit it off and talked and talked and laughed and went to lunch and then went to lunch every day for as long as she worked there.

    during lunch i would sometimes take pictures of her because

    a) look at her!

    b) she loved it

    c) i had a busblog to think about

    i put a lot of the pictures on buzznet and the other day when i was able to get them off the site – all 5,576 of them – i noticed all of these great pics of danielle and it made me miss her so very much.

    we used to have so much fun together during our lunch breaks.

    they really were a little oasis of sunshine in the middle of a pretty hellish work environment.

    she was all, dont they know they need to move you to the news department?

    i was all, dont they know that youre a million times more valuable than whatever they got you doing?

    the xbi took danielle away from LA to San Dieger because it was a pit back then. you havent heard of anything horrible happening there in the ten years shes been gone. she does a great job.

    so when she asked me today to send her her pics i was all of course.

    this is a reminder to live up to my promise.

  5. Monday, December 1, 2014

    omg it was danielle’s birthday yesterday 


    she texted me saying she was gonna come up here to celebrate with me but for some reason i thought she meant next weekend

    but then she texted me later during the rainstorm saying she had arrived in santa monica

    and i was all, wait, this weekend?!? she was like yeah. i went what.

    so i pulled a few strings and got the rain to stop today so we could hang out.

    i have missed danielle so. and ive definitely missed her blawwwwg.

    there are some people who just radiate all the positive things in the world all at once

    and yet their writing is so dark. it makes you appreciate those who can show all the aspects of life.

    i really need to work on my secret blog so i can exorcise the darker aspects of my mind.

    it’s a slippery slope though for me because it could easily lead to depression for me.

    anyways i cant wait to see danielle today and i will post some pics and tell her you said hi.

  6. Monday, February 24, 2014

    you know who else is feeling crappy? your bff Danielle, but in her heart 


    from her keeping it real blog the other day:

    Cant live by the Russian Metronome.
    Too damn Cool Hand Luke.
    Too Damn Gary Cooper.
    Too Damn John Ford.
    Where are my GlenGarry leads?
    I had to just say I am done.
    And It will be really hard.
    But what gives I ask.
    They say you cant move expecting to solve your problems
    for your problems will travel with you.
    I dont know man
    I have lived in SOCAL for 15 plus years
    and there aint nothin new.
    I got to change something.
    I cant live like this
    or I literally will kill myself.
    I do, I do, I want so badly to be dead
    and I am SO SORRY to say that UNIverse
    but it is true
    I am so so sad and lonely
    so UNHAPPY with everything

    we’ve all been there. none of us thinks a super cool super smart babe with a masters could get there too

    but yes. even her. even in san dieger. even with her mind wide open to possibilities.

    it’s heartbreaking and sad because what can we tell her? what can we do?

    the answer is the same answer for all of us: keep digging your way out.

    aim for the light. listen for the sounds. even in darkness theres a glimmer of brightness

    go for it. remember The Bride in Kill Bill: keep punching out of the impossible jam.

    keep punching, keep fighting. keep doing the one thing you can.

    because if you stop.

    it stops.

  7. Sunday, December 1, 2013

    today is danielle’s birthday, shes 24 


    actually it was yesterday and i missed it because SOMEONE is not on facebook,

    the best way to tell the world it’s your big day.

    danielle is stuck in san dieger. a place that has many faults, the biggest being it has not fully embraced her.

    we all get stuck from time to time and we think there’s no way out.

    we convince ourselves that time or money or situation or circumstance is why we are accepting the mediocre

    but all those things are just demons whispering in our pretty minds – so as to stop us from true joy

    which we deserve. which exists. and which is certainly in the future of todays birthday girl, of whom there is no one like.

    i have an extremely short list of people i would give a million bucks to if i won the mega millions jackpot

    and danielle is on that list. i may have to give her two mil because sagitarrius’s burn through dough: allegedly.

    but she is someone who has been given one bad hand after another

    the worst being that she decided that san diego would be her escape route after a bad hand in LA

    but the sun is now out, and america’s sweetheart needs to beat again, to her own drummer

    and she will. i am sure of it. even if the numbers dont come in.

    all the angels and saints are rooting for the hottest hippie in san diego.

    i hope youre rooting for her too.


  8. Wednesday, September 4, 2013

    you know danielle, america’s sweetheart 

    well did you know that Danielle has a younger sister?

    who lives in LA??

    and goes to dental school in downtown?

    well apparently not every patient in LA wants to go to a dental school


    but maybe thats because they didn’t know that you could

    from Danielle’s sister.

    just send an email correspondence to


    for more information


  9. Saturday, June 22, 2013

    one thing i didnt like aboot etienne was her love of Nike 


    so of course when i asked her how she was feeling

    she made sure to wearing the sweatshop shoes in her photo.

    her brother is here on business so last night we went to Home with danielle and her doctor friend

    where we drank 8pm mimosas and sat in the catbird seat as the sun set on the

    longest day of the year.

    then we had gelato and sped over to the El Rey

    sea wolf at the el rey

    where sea wolf had attracted a very impressive crowd.

    we were on the left balcony and i saw an old guy sitting on a chair

    obsessed with his cell phone for much of the night.

    near the end of the first set i saw his teen daughter ask him for money

    she and her date walked off to buy cokes

    then when they returned the dad wasnt there.

    they put down the cokes

    and standing up kissed. french style but not very much moving at all. so sweet.

    may have been their first kiss ever, cuz then they hugged.

    so i yelled DOWN IN FRONT



    afterwards we mugged the dad for his cell phone

  10. Sunday, April 7, 2013

    omg look who just showed up outta the blue 


    yr bff danielle blew into town and surprised me and we had tacos and schemed


    she just got a new drivers license and photo and it looks omg just like the one she took when she moved to Cali when she was 21 (16 years ago)


    I was all omg what’s your secret? she said I sprinkle a little herb in my cigarettes


    Glendale Styley she calls it