nothing in here is true

  1. Tuesday, January 23, 2018

    all you can do is your best 

    when i played baseball there was an instruction that was also

    an overall philosophy

    “hit the ball hard and everything will fall in place”

    so when you play you play at 100%

    and sometimes the ball will make a funny bounce on a fielder and good things will happen.

    sometimes the ball will go right in the other dudes glove and theres nothing you can do.

    but as long as your energy is high, you hustle, and you prepare for the day

    odds are you will play well

    and when you play well you win.

    i played hard yesterday, and life is a three-dimensional scoreboard, so sometimes when it looks like you lost

    you actually didn’t lose at all.

    so chill.

    not everything is going to get a standing ovation, elvis.

  2. Wednesday, September 25, 2013

    remind me to be anonymous in my next life 


    all you gotta do is one (v funny) stencil and youve got the


    instagramming your possible return to a big city?

    thats genius if you ask me.

    i had a few very nice conversations over beers last night.

    i had some very nice phone conversations minus beers today.

    one was held over skype which is still a miracle to me.

    ginsberg howl

    my text message machine was interesting as always.

    one gentleman is a photographer on a brand of movie set

    he takes the most beautiful photos, for free, because you too would take those pictures for free.

    then a girl in rollerskates rolled into my courtyard and over the steps and onto my porch

    and knock knock knocked on the door and i was startled because i wasnt expecting visitors

    and i opened the door and she said

    are you listening to that new elvis costello and the roots?

    and the jewels of her necklace just led to the one spot a gentleman is not supposed to

    stare at, but for one, random question, lady

    and two, what was the question?

    she said its called Wise Up Ghost

    the cover looks like Howl

    it’s on the legendary Blue Note Records

    and its a groovy chilled out stroll through R&B in a darker way than Get Happy

    but if you’re tired of the americana of National Ransom and that other one, then

    Wise Up Ghost

    and the earth split in two and she fell into the crack and i shut the door and went back to sitting in the dark

    not on the album:

  3. Sunday, February 10, 2013
  4. Saturday, October 13, 2012

    dear tony, you say you like elvis costello, what is your favourite song? 

    rain in LA

    my favorite song is probably

    i want you

    from blood and chocolate.

    which is great because the performance and the lyrics are just so creepy

    and the production is so raw.

    but for some reason i just love love love beyond belief from imperial bedroom

    an album i dont like as much as others do,

    in fact i think it was his first mediocre album after his first five masterpieces:
    My Aim Is True, This Year’s Model, Armed Forces, Get Happy!!, Trust

    beyond belief is allegedly made up of opening couplets from unfinished songs

    i really really really hope thats even slightly true

    “Beyond Belief”

    History repeats the old conceits
    The glib replies the same defeats
    Keep your finger on important issues
    With crocodile tears and a pocketful of tissues

    I’m just the oily slick
    On the windup world of the nervous tick
    In a very fashionable hovel

    I hang around dying to be tortured
    You’ll never be alone in the bone orchard
    This battle with the bottle is nothing so novel

    So in this almost empty gin palace
    Through a two-way looking glass
    You see your Alice

    You know she has no sense
    For all your jealousy
    In a sense she still smiles very sweetly

    Charged with insults and flattery
    Her body moves with malice
    Do you have to be so cruel to be callous

    And now you find you fit this identikit completely
    You say you have no secrets
    And then leave discreetly

    I might make it California’s fault
    Be locked in Geneva’s deepest vault
    Just like the canals of Mars and the great barrier reef
    I come to you beyond belief

    My hands were clammy and cunning
    She’s been suitably stunning
    But I know there’s not a hope in Hades
    All the laddies cat call and wolf whistle
    So-called gentlemen and ladies
    Dog fight like rose and thistle

    I’ve got a feeling
    I’m going to get a lot of grief
    Once this seemed so appealing
    Now I am beyond belief

  5. Thursday, August 16, 2012

    elvis was just 42 

    la times

    the other day i was asked what non-musicians i felt died too soon

    which was a tough cuz the list of musicians was endless

    even so, im not sure i would have put elvis on the list

    because to be honest he always seemed at least 10 years older.

    everyone should go to graceland, though.

    if i was a housing developer id build a suburb subdivision of graceland mcmansions

    the house itself isnt that big.

    and if youre going to be spending a half million to a million bucks on a crib

    why not make it awesome

    and identical to The King’s?

    anyways, im sad we dont have him around.

    he loved his mama, he wore Brut, and he loved television

    as big tanky would say, i back that.

  6. Monday, July 16, 2012

    murray asks what do you do when everythings working 

    venice beach

    and then it isnt.
    and nothing you do fixes it.
    you try one thing.
    and then try a totally opposite thing.
    and neither thing works?

    well murray, if thats yr real name,
    i dont think you tried the totally opposite thing.
    if the problem involved, lets say, a saw
    and you’ve been trying to use a hammer
    and your version of the totally opposite thing
    is just a bigger hammer, or a dutch hammer
    or a little baby hammer
    thats not truly trying something different.

    think about what youre totally avoiding doing.

    then think about what your arch enemy would do
    think about what your grandma would do
    think about what a man from mars would do
    think about what youd do if you were left handed
    or kenyan
    or buggs bunny
    or elvis.

    do it like elvis and it might start working.

  7. Tuesday, January 8, 2002