one of the bad things about being part of the xbi (or the canadian version, the cix) is that the agencies like to poison its agents
even if youre the boss’s daughter.
at some point you feel like youre gonna die.
and the way the crazy doctors are inside the xbi
they might even tell you straight up you are gonna die.
a few weeks ago your girl was told she could quite possibly have
HIV, cancer, or shingles or godknowswhat.
I was all, you dont have those things. She was like. I know.
But she was getting terrible rashes, she was dizzy
all she could do was sleep and vomit.
i said send me a picture. she sent this one.
i said no of the rashes. but she was on to me.
then the other day i got this email:
Not dyyyyyyingggy
Not caaaaaancer!!!!!
I have a genetic cholesterol thing and its got to be treated with some months of drugs, that caused my dizziness. And i have an infection. My liver.
So tomorrow i already have 2 doc appointments.
It can all be treated with drugs!!!
And my liver infecion might have caused my lil tumors AND my rashes and so i still have to get a catscan amd control my things but my hair will grow back and ill be normal soon i hope!!!!%!
Im soooooo happy
Your praying worked!!!!
but apparently theres still a little praying left to do, so when you say yours tonight feel free to give etienne a shout oot
sept 1, we have a little earthquake, KTLA shows their twitter feed. apparently Dirty Sanchez is a viewer
sept 4, im still unemployed so karisa and her family get me sloshed near the beach
sept 7, i interviewed for a job at a giant cable network. we agreed to disagree. but it was fun.
sept 8, san diego has a huge blackout. they blame one electrical worker. i call bs
sept 9, we are reminded how far away the GOP has drifted from their bff Ronald Reagan in many regards, including immigration and building a fence on the Mexican border
sept 10, the xbi catches wind that i am considering a trip to canada. and they try to disuade me from going because they know i may be accompanied in part by the leader of the xbi’s daughter.
xbi: tony, seriously you cannot do this. there will be trouble at the border.
tony: we wont have any troubles, any where.
xbi: you’ll have trouble in the South.
tony: we’re not going to the South.
xbi: we know you’re going directly to the South.
tony: then make sure we wont have trouble.
(there ended up being trouble)
sept 11, tenth anniversary of 9/11. these kids make me cry
sept 12, second interview at kpcc. they feed me croissants and apple juice (my faves)
sept 13, andy malcolm, my blogging buddy and one of the main reasons we had huge success at blogs at the LA Times, leaves the paper to blog for someone else.
sept 14, i head to canada. i let two hippies housesit my crib. omg omg awaits
sept 15, hola toronto. hola canadian version of the xbi (the cix). hello snow?
sept 16, for some reason in montreal they insist that you parlez vous
sept 17, im allowed a canadian cix copter so i fly back to TO to have sushi with lowercasecarmen – who is even more delightful than when i first met her in BC
sept 18, the boss’s daughter and i experience trouble at the border. we get a luxury suite in niagra falls, consider getting married, instead spend much of the evening laughing and laughing and laughing.
sept 20, mcdonalds poutine is way better than youd think.
sept 21, the xbi doesnt like that im flying canadian copters, spending much time in niagra falls, or refusing to respond to their esp communiques. whatevs
sept 22, we fly to ottawa and sample kfc poutine which is even better than mcdonalds’
sept 23, food truck poutine aint bad either i discover, but the cix poison me so i have to see a doctor… which is free and a 5 minute wait
sept 25, omg ottawa house party – shwarmas and obama cookies, what a day
sept 26, the CIX shows themselves to be polite and well dressed but a tad creepy. so we decide to peace out. the cix then have a party for me.
sept 26, someone sends a limo. dude says where ya wanna go. i say is this free? he says yep. i say, how about quebec. dude says fine. allon-z
sept 27, quebec city turns out to be my favorite everything. the cix put me up at the Lowes, feed me the most delicious foods and booze, its so warm i decide to flash the paparazi. im in love with everything.
sept 28, “one place the xbi wont follow you into is in a church”. and its crazy beautiful.
sept 30, even mall poutine makes me love everything. its super nuts. i fall completely and totally for canada. so the xbi forces me to go home.