nothing in here is true

  1. Tuesday, November 27, 2018

    this black dude who used to work at Facebook 

    quit his job at Facebook because he said the environment there wasn’t good if you are black.

    he said that security guards harassed blacks at night, that they were dissuaded from having black backchannels, and they were even asked not to do “black things” after work with each other.

    i dont know the gent, and some of these accusations seem outrageous especially in northern california but who knows, maybe he’s totally telling the truth.

    he even said that 2-3 times a day, every day, he noticed people clutching their wallets tighter whenever he walked past them.

    am i weird that i usually left my wallet in my desk? also, why would you need a wallet if all the food is free?

    but lets say he is telling the truth and it sucked being 6% of a huge company and the environment made you feel intimidated to speak up else youd lose your gig?

    i think that could be fixed. and i dont think it would be hard. you just need an african-american in charge with actual power to fire people if they, indeed, tried to tell people who they could hang out with after work and what they could do.

    if the culture there is so backwards that even bright young tech workers are terrified of a black man walking through a campus in menlo park then there are actual things that can be done about it and a filthy rich company like Facebook should be the ideal place to invest in that sort of shift.

    clearly mark z has other fires popping up all around him, and maybe he still wants to be a major political player, but as they say, how you gonna tell me how things should be when you got problems in your own house?

    could i fix the culture problem at Facebook? of course. easily. and with style. i hired hundreds of people at PeopleSupport. the crew was diverse, talented and respectful. parking sucked though.

    is that something that i would want to spend my energies on right now? no.

    right now im working on a secret project and wondering why my tax man hasn’t called me back.

    even i have a problems in my own house right now.

  2. Wednesday, September 21, 2016

    a trio of Ask Tony questions appeared on my Facebook 

    jack and cokechris asks, Whats the protocol for calling BS on friends of friends racist posts? 

    it’s so interesting that you ask this because im about to finish reading the bible for the 3rd or 4th time (but who’s counting?) and Sunday i read this line in 2 Timothy that totally reminded me of Facebook

    23Have nothing to do with foolish, ignorant controversies; you know that they breed quarrels. 24And the Lord’s servant must not be quarrelsome but kind to everyone, able to teach, patiently enduring evil, 25correcting his opponents with gentleness. God may perhaps grant them repentance leading to a knowledge of the truth, 26and they may come to their senses and escape from the snare of the devil, after being captured by him to do his will.

    Here St. Paul (the author of the letter to Timothy is Paul) starts off by saying “just totally ignore the haters because you’ll end up in a flame war, and those are for sucker MCs.” but then he says if we are really going to try to be good Christians we have to be super chill with everyone, totally patient, and if you are going to correct someone do it in the smoothest way ever. which in a way is the opposite of a flame, and eventually it’ll work out.

    Personally i have never seen a racist stop being a racist because of words on a Facebook wall. my experience of racism is it is the culmination of years and years of ignorance that starts with someone’s parents and friends and is fertilized over time by a fucked up environment. so i dont see where even the coolest exchange of facts, hyperlinks, and well-turned phrases could undo what years of bullshit formed. so i don’t even try very much any more, even though it can seem so tempting to jump in there.

    Instead I think there are far better places to place ones energies within Facebook, namely the good people in your life who, for whatever reason, Facebook hides from you because you haven’t engaged with them very much. Chill with them instead.

    Peter asks: Is it too soon for Brangelina jokes? 

    on one hand, it is super sad whenever any couple breaks up, especially those with many kids, because divorce affects some kids very emotionally – not to mention the once-happy couple.

    on the other hand, Comedy Is Not Pretty. some of the funniest jokes are dark, tasteless, rude, foul, biting, and OMG WHAT?comedy is not pretty

    but we need comedy, particularly when we see ourselves in others who apparently are having it worse than we are.

    the problem with bashing on Brad and Angie is for all apparent appearances they’re really sweet people. Brad built houses in New Orleans for the poor after a couple of those hurricanes. he produces films that tackle tough issues in artistic ways (The Big Short, 12 Years a Slave, The Normal Heart, Selma, etc)

    And Angie’s list of charitable endeavors was so long that the Academy gave her a humanitarian award a few years ago where even her acceptance speech was selfless, touching and inspiring, focused on her mom who taught her early on that all of us who live a safe, healthy life are extremely fortunate and downright lucky because we could have just as easily been born in another part of the world devoid of clean water, plentiful food or peace. so those of us whose head is above water should help those who aren’t.

    so since there are plenty of more deserving people to make fun of, i will be aiming my barbs at those who are far more selfish and foolish and worthy of my incredible barbs. perhaps you will feel the same way.

    Asher asks: If Tony is at Wrigley Field for the Word Series, how does he react to the national anthem?

    First of all, aint no way I’m going to be at Wrigley for the World Series. The cheapest tickets are going for close to $9,000 and even though i love the Cubs with all of my heart and wear a Cubs hat almost every day and have dozens of Cubs gear, and have lived this way my whole life, i’ve never had $9,000 laying around for such a thing and i sure as hell don’t now.

    But let’s say a miracle ticket comes my way and there i am in the bleachers and someone great like Billy Corgan or Cheap Trick or Bruce Springsteen starts singing The Star Spangled Banner: as much as i am angry and dismayed by so many innocent victims of the police murdering black men, i don’t see how one blogger in a sea of 40,000 Cub fans kneeling or raising my fist would impact anything in the slightest other than making my fellow Cub fans around me feel uncomfortable.

    What has made this protest so fascinating and powerful is it is coming from the players, most of whom have the cameras pointed at them. Because of these players the protest has gained momentum and kept the conversation going. Even if 1,000 fans knelt, the odds of the cameras catching it are minimal, especially on Fox, who will be broadcasting it, who care so little about the game or the viewers that they insist on having Joe Buck ruin it for everyone.

    So no, for once in my life, I would not be trying to change the world. I would be entirely focused on watching my little Cubby world change.

  3. Tuesday, February 17, 2015

    how did i not know that motley crue’s last show 

    princewill be on new years eve
    at staples center, in downtown LA.

    this is facebook’s fatal flaw, and the thing that will make them totally fail

    and why i divested my stocks from them:

    they dont care what you like. they care if what you like paid for an ad.

    facebook knows more about me than anything ever created. it knows i like to see things at staples, it knows i love the crue, it knows i buy lots of concert tickets,

    so then why didnt it, with its multi gazillion dollar algorithm alert me that crue tickets were going on sale

    and once they sold out, why didnt they tell me that there were lots of tickets on stubhub?

    because facebook doesnt care about being a useful tool in my life

    it cares about being a commercial entity constantly looking for ways of monetizing the things i like and because the concert sold out so quickly it assumed there were no more avenues in which to sell to me, but alas it was so wrong.

    and at its heart it has failed itself and me as a customer.

    just tell me things, facebook, the money will come.

    i know it’s hard to put that into a powerpoint deck but sorry, it’s true.

    when you play games by throttling information you miss out on opportunities.

    just show me the things that i want to see and i will be more loyal to your site and omg i probably will stay there longer, and the longer i stay the more chances you have to making me buy something and hopefully it will be something that i actually want.

    and yes, i would like to see motley crue’s last show ever. in LA, at Staples

    on new years eve.


  4. Thursday, February 28, 2013
  5. Thursday, October 11, 2012
  6. Thursday, June 28, 2012

    bob miletta, rest in peace 

    bobfor some reason bob and i started hanging out in high school and it was good.

    we played whiffle ball and soccer, walked to the store, talked about the cubs.

    somehow we did this for years. happily.

    his family were the type of warm italians that you see in the movies with something always simmering on the stove, and old school dean martin on the radio.

    if it wasnt for bob i probably wouldnt have gotten my first girlfriend. for it was because bob was playing a hockey game was i able to say on the phone one day hey mary wanna go to my buddy’s hockey game tonight, and history was made.

    bob ended up with one of the hottest girls, himself, the next year and i experienced my first feelings of jealousy. basically she looked like she could have easily been playing for the Runaways.

    it was in bobs house that i first heard the word marone.

    as in what bobs older brother probably said to him when he first brought her home.

    marone, little brother, whered you find her?

    according to the newspaper bob was driving, possibly had a heart attack or stroke, and drove right through a yard, hit two trees and the corner of his house and his suv rolled over. and he died.

    and what a way to go. obviously distressed because of a young child had just drowned in his pool and the next day bob was headed to the store to dismantle the pool when he died.

    The autistic child was staying at his grandparents’ house in the subdivision while his parents were out of town. The child was last seen sleeping on a couch about 5 a.m. but apparently wandered away and was found in the pool at 10:47 a.m.

    One report said the victim was on his way to buy a pump to drain the water from the pool to tear it down when the crash occurred.

    i found out because via facebook i was invited to his funeral mass.

    i was all funeral mass?

    nobody i know should be having funeral masses, i thought, but there on his facebook wall i read all these very nice messages from his family and friends. and a link to the story and photo gallery.


    stunned i kept scrolling down his wall to see if he had any virtual last words, and lo, the bob miletta who i grew up with, was right there again:

    Here is something to ponder for all of you White Sux fans, how your team is in first place and nobody goes to the games. It’s beacuse all you fair weather so called sox fans that will jump on the bandwagon come playoff time and root for them, while the Cubs no matter what the team is doing pack Wrigley Field. Shows true colors and support. Yes the Cubs do suck at times but they still have sellouts. Also it’s funny that now The Cell has Ivy in Center Field.

    im sorry i lusted after your girlfriend,

    ps your twitter just broke my heart.

  7. Saturday, June 9, 2012

    loser of the week probs: brian presley 

    i have a friend who says every man cheats… except for her boyfriend. shes controversial.

    of that im sure.

    what im unsure about is the compelling tale of melissa stetten, a 22 yr old LA model,

    pictured, above

    and brian presley a 34 year old soap opera actor and model,

    dissed, below.

    what makes this weeks dramady more than the typical she-tweets he-facebooks feud

    is it just seems a little too believable. of course he hit on her, of course his game is lacking

    and in this modern world, of course she tweeted his flails in real time

    because simply put, sometimes the player gets played.

    and we know you got played when you go on facebook and type

    “My Wife Rocks”.

    who knows, i could be wrong. after the jump read ms. stetten’s tweets

    then read bro and tell me what you think.

    Continue reading “loser of the week probs: brian presley”

  8. Friday, June 1, 2012

    never underestimate the internet 

    apparently a comic book company has decided that a fictional character is gay

    so they announced it today and this otherwise unknown morality group, One Million Moms,

    wrote on their facebook wall a warning about the news. hilarity ensued:

    i heart facebook

    god bless the web.

    meanwhile their sister brother site, One Million Dads, appear to be slackers

    in the last three years they have only had four things bother them,

    and one is playboy being sold in 7-11s. thats all youve got, dads?

  9. Thursday, May 24, 2012

    woody allen on Life and mark cuban on post-FB Wall St. 

    “Say goodbye to the individual investor on Wall Street. Whatever positive impression they had of the IPO market and the stock market in general was just torched to the ground. When everyone you know associated with the stock market is telling you and the media is confirming that this could be a huge IPO that will make money for those lucky enough to get shares and the opposite happens, goodnight. All confidence in the stock is destroyed. Put your money in the bank or if you want to gamble, at least slot machines in Vegas pay out 98pct.” – Mark Cuban, blog maverick

  10. Friday, February 24, 2012

    she deleted me from facebook 

    kirsten dunst

    it wasnt the first time. wont be the last.

    if its thursday shes deleting me.

    when i was a kid i wanted to be a baseball manager.

    for one reason because i wanted to be able to yell at umpires and get kicked outta the game.

    kick some dirt on them, spit while yelling, get the crowd going

    and then get sent to the showers.

    im the nicest guy shes ever known and i get thrown out weekly.

    right now im making her parents a mix tape, and i get shut down

    as if

    when i was a kid i wanted a girlfriend.

    for one reason because i always imagined that you could do fun romantic things with em

    like row a boat through an impressionistic painting and then have a picnic

    play led zep for her on the lute, duel with zorro with a flute

    get the crowd going

    then get sent to the showers.

    when i was a kid i was an idiot.