nothing in here is true

  1. Sunday, September 27, 2020

    i failed again this weekend 

    last weekend i tried, this weekend i did better but still failed.

    it’s damn near impossible to not go on twitter or instagram or facebook

    for me, at least

    i mean i wasnt on it long – about an hour for the weekend but the goal was zero

    i was procrastinating.

    so next week lets try to make it less than ahalf hour.

    also a bunch of stuff went down and i wanted to feed the Los Angeleno twitter account.

    also its a habit.

    a weird weird habit.

    tonight i finished a story that i thought up today and who knows maybe people will like it maybe they wont.

    all i know is i thunk it up, did it and it’s done.

    maybe it’s easy for you to do that but lately it’s been soooo hard.

    all weekend i was working on a thing for Sass but my mind

    what if i need adderall?


    for some reason that scares me.

    i did succeed at something though. i won the toughest fantasy league i am in.

    i think for 10 years ive played in this league and never won.

    whats weird about this championship series is are manyboth of our teams couldnt hit over .200. we both struck out like crazy.

    his complete game was the Worst, it was a double header game, so his pitcher only had to pitch 6 innings AND HE LOST

    i would have been so pissed if i lost by 1 point because he got a CG out of such a sham.

    thank God my pitchers were on fire.

    whats really weird about this win was i wasnt even in the draft and i only kept like 3 of the players the computer picked for me.

    whatever = W

  2. Monday, February 22, 2016

    my team was stolen from me tonight, ladies and gentlemen 


    see that team? see how great that team is?

    it used to be better.

    last night i drafted that team in probably the greatest Auction Draft performance i’ve ever done.

    in a 20 team league.

    i let them go for all the high priced talent, spending soooo much money on this guy and that guy

    and then i jumped in and brought home the world.

    it was a Hitters Only league which should have tipped me off that this was not being run with someone with a full love of the game

    nor of the sportsmanship of Fantasy Sports

    because at around 6pm i was alerted that my team had been had been hijacked


    Continue reading “my team was stolen from me tonight, ladies and gentlemen”

  3. Saturday, October 24, 2015
  4. Sunday, September 6, 2015

    most people dont know how much i play fantasy sports 

    fantasythe other thing people dont know is how bad i am at it.

    youd think that after more than a decade of doing something every day youd get good at it

    but nope.

    this week is the last week before the playoffs for some of the leagues and second to last for others.

    it was really important that i do well this week and it looks like i did.

    one reason i lose so much is i play with my heart, not my head.

    this year i have done well because the people i like have done well.

    bearded jake arietta of the cubs has had an insane season and i was able to pick him up in almost all of my leagues in the 6th or 7th round, and he has turned into my best and most consistent player.

    the tough part of the season is making it into the playoffs. once youre in, anything can happen.

    you might even omg win.

    the prize? pride.

  5. Saturday, September 13, 2014

    a note i left on the message board of the fantasy league today 

    tumblr_n57kzvjuFu1rzkuwco1_500The only context you probably need is the Commish locked me for a few games DURING THE PLAYOFFS because of some weird rule he made up that I didnt understand. the guy I was playing against, Ninja, told the commish not to do it, but the commish dragged his feet unlocking me and now I am about to lose the series and the league. This is my parting shot to the commish and the league. Because I am a whiner.

    I’ve been playing Yahoo Fantasy since 2001. I’ve had 113 teams. Never have I been in a league where the commish, in order to limit competition punishes GMs from PLAYING THE GAME by hamstringing them in the playoffs. What asshole does that?

    If you’re oh-so worried about teams cycling through so-called “garbage stats” create categories that hurt teams for pitching too much like OMG walks, HRs, ERs, WHIP, HBP, etc. Or you create Max moves for a week or for a season. Or you create moves only once a week.

    Let the computer play its part. Why? Because as we have seen here, the human element, when it comes to being a Commish, will almost always fuck up. For one reason: commishes are also players; competitors. They have an agenda. They also have emotions and machismo. When they are called out on their bullshit they often drag their feet, and yes CHEAT and get in the way of fair play.

    You don’t lock people in the playoffs. You don’t make quick, debilitating, moves in the middle of the night one day and then pretend that you don’t exist the next night when you could repair those moves.

    You play fair. And honestly. And you let the fucking baseball players decide the outcome.

    Ninja, I appreciate your sportsmanship and it’s too bad we couldn’t see fairly whose team was truly the best. You have a very good team and I sincerely hope the commish doesn’t fuck you over for whatever reason in the coming weeks.

    Commish I hope whatever karma you have coming back to you doesn’t bite you in the ass. But most importantly I hope you take my suggestions to heart and set up your next league intelligently and not emotionally. Something based in competition and not out of fear ruled by a no-good cheating asswipe.

    Update: With the score 5-7 (somehow I crawled back from 1-11) the Commissioner banned me. With one day left I have lost that league.

  6. Saturday, September 21, 2013
  7. Monday, August 19, 2013

    with just a few weeks until the playoffs my fantasy teams hobble into the stretch 

    fantasy leagues

    youd think the first year that ive been unemployed throughout the entire MLB baseball season my teams would be awesome

    SO. NOT. TRUE.

    in fact the two leagues i wanted to win the most Louisville Sluggers and Love me or Hate me – i probably wont even make the playoffs.

    the latter league i wanted to win badly because it was a totally unfair league with crappy rules and a juvenile commish.

    the former league i wanted to win because it is a Keeper League where i was returning Trout Braun Harper Weaver and Dickey

    but as we know Dickey has been a bust and Braun is a dirty cheater who was injured and now is suspended.

    So i have to make due in my other leagues.

    Weirdly my best chance of winning is in the Busblog league where i have been extremely fortunate, especially since i was in the right place at the right time when some moron dropped Joe Mauer and i had a #4 waiver position and the others were napping.

    each year i pretend i have learned something from the previous year but no, im a fool.

    best moves so far: trading Trout for Miguel Cabrera for the Britney Spears team.

    and of course picking up Junior Lake on every one of my teams.

    lets hope bro keeps it moving.

  8. Wednesday, March 20, 2013

    the SECOND LEAGUE of busblog yahoo fantasy baseball has been established 


    if you werent able to make it last week to the busblog league 1 live draft

    or your computer died on you because you’re using Internet Explorer through AOL on a Dell


    (which is impossible as i can see into the future and omg the breaking bad finale is fantastic!)

    Live Draft will be this Saturday at Noon Pacific

    Click here to get a team.

  9. Saturday, March 16, 2013

    wrote a drunk email last night 

    irish storm trooper

    im not ashamed.

    woke up not knowing if today was st. paddys day

    or even if Lil Wayne was still with us.

    if only there was customizable news app that would be sitting there waiting for me

    when i rose from my morning haze each day.

    that would also play my favorite music and flash appealing photos at me.

    i awoke a tad too early today thanks to my phone buzzing

    due to one Patrick Pitt, pictured, asking me all sorts of difficult fantasy baseball questions.

    aimed, i imagine, at throwing me off my game for the upcoming draft.

    it may have worked.

  10. Saturday, March 9, 2013