nothing in here is true

  1. Monday, March 6, 2017
  2. Tuesday, May 24, 2016

    i had this theory that pretty girls can wear anything 

    belindathat “fashion” is baloney

    i wanted to prove that theory by creating a potato sack dress

    that was lined with something non itchy but basically it was a burlap sack that you put a belt around

    or not, who cares

    and you put it on a model of some sort and voila


    and then i saw this picture of marilyn monroe from way back like a million years ago and i thought

    damn tony, you are the least original person in the whole wide world how do you even live?

    and then i went on with life because calling myself stupid is just a typical part of my day.

    but then yesterday i was reading a terrific article about the go-gos and how they were terrible at first, but cute, so they kept going, and then they got a drummer and a guitarist who were actually good so they kept going and then they got a record deal because thats what happened back in the day,

    and then they got a song and a beat and the guy who produced Blondie wanted to produce them and so he did and then he recorded them and they said omg this is terrible and he said but i actually know what the hell im doing dont you remember how deep down youre actually not great at music and they were all oh yeah ok whatever who cares more drugs please

    and in the article i saw this picture of Belinda their singer in this garbage bag dress  

    and i thought wow this is even better than the potato sack and you dont even need any lining plus who the hell wants to wear a potato sack anyways

    and i never thought of a beret.

    god im dumb.

  3. Wednesday, July 30, 2014
  4. Tuesday, January 14, 2014

    todays cool person a day is a famous fashion icon 

    diane von furstenburg

    last night i was just minding my own bees wax talking to a security guard

    when legendary diane von furstenburg approached me and held out her hand.

    she had just been hosting another party to celebrate her celebrated wrap dress

    which she created 40 years ago and i dont know if she thought i was famous or pathetic

    or the valet but there she was and i had seen her face every day for the last few months

    because they had been building her #JourneyOfADress show in the first floor of our building

    but there she was in the flesh and the most i could say was

    may i take a picture of you for my mom?

    and she said of course!

    and then she said, hey come in here (motioning to the security guard)

    and made him pose for a second one. which i thought was amazing. and true.

    with security guard

  5. Wednesday, September 25, 2013

    dear tony, Green or Pink? 

    sass in pink IMG_6972

    im not sure exactly how i continue to be given these assignments.

    my personal fashion choices usually revolve around: what is clean, what is most wrinkly,

    and what goes best with a Cubs hat.

    but strangely the most beautiful women ask my advice on what they should wear

    even though my first response is usually haminahaminahamina.

    me personally i dont think men should ever tell women what to put on their body or what to do with their body

    if anything we should just be happy that this isnt a planet filled with men.

    these two looks by Sass bring home that point beautifully.

    although they are both very playful and young, i feel like the pink one wouldn’t be complete without a curved staff.

    the green one is a touch more subtle but still adorbs.

    because im a scientist at heart id like to see that one with the cream socks, but again, who am i to wonder.

    forgive me.

    anyways, the green, to me is more welcoming, the pink is too bright a light, it’s the star trek phaser on stun.

    if you have outfits you’d like me to choose between email them to me at


  6. Tuesday, October 30, 2012
  7. Saturday, March 19, 2011

    runway models are just like us 

    not entirely comfortable that this is a commercial for red bull

    but i guess its a more interesting commercial than half the crap we normally are subjected to.

    and at least it reinforces that strange truth that some dudes will wear the dumbest clothes to get close to super skinny girls.

    the irony of it happening in a grocery store where none of the famished buy any food is just a bonus

    and wouldnt you know it, your girl casie stewart was there and has this report

  8. Thursday, March 17, 2011