long live Fenty + Puma + Radiohead covers + walking on tables + Die Antwoord
that “fashion” is baloney
i wanted to prove that theory by creating a potato sack dress
that was lined with something non itchy but basically it was a burlap sack that you put a belt around
or not, who cares
and you put it on a model of some sort and voila
and then i saw this picture of marilyn monroe from way back like a million years ago and i thought
damn tony, you are the least original person in the whole wide world how do you even live?
and then i went on with life because calling myself stupid is just a typical part of my day.
but then yesterday i was reading a terrific article about the go-gos and how they were terrible at first, but cute, so they kept going, and then they got a drummer and a guitarist who were actually good so they kept going and then they got a record deal because thats what happened back in the day,
and then they got a song and a beat and the guy who produced Blondie wanted to produce them and so he did and then he recorded them and they said omg this is terrible and he said but i actually know what the hell im doing dont you remember how deep down youre actually not great at music and they were all oh yeah ok whatever who cares more drugs please
and in the article i saw this picture of Belinda their singer in this garbage bag dress
and i thought wow this is even better than the potato sack and you dont even need any lining plus who the hell wants to wear a potato sack anyways
and i never thought of a beret.
god im dumb.
update: someone DOES think i’m fashionable
last night i was just minding my own bees wax talking to a security guard
when legendary diane von furstenburg approached me and held out her hand.
she had just been hosting another party to celebrate her celebrated wrap dress
which she created 40 years ago and i dont know if she thought i was famous or pathetic
or the valet but there she was and i had seen her face every day for the last few months
because they had been building her #JourneyOfADress show in the first floor of our building
but there she was in the flesh and the most i could say was
may i take a picture of you for my mom?
and she said of course!
and then she said, hey come in here (motioning to the security guard)
and made him pose for a second one. which i thought was amazing. and true.
im not sure exactly how i continue to be given these assignments.
my personal fashion choices usually revolve around: what is clean, what is most wrinkly,
and what goes best with a Cubs hat.
but strangely the most beautiful women ask my advice on what they should wear
even though my first response is usually haminahaminahamina.
me personally i dont think men should ever tell women what to put on their body or what to do with their body
if anything we should just be happy that this isnt a planet filled with men.
these two looks by Sass bring home that point beautifully.
although they are both very playful and young, i feel like the pink one wouldn’t be complete without a curved staff.
the green one is a touch more subtle but still adorbs.
because im a scientist at heart id like to see that one with the cream socks, but again, who am i to wonder.
anyways, the green, to me is more welcoming, the pink is too bright a light, it’s the star trek phaser on stun.
if you have outfits you’d like me to choose between email them to me at
i promise you i wont wear a pink sweater
or a crazy ass bowtie
or carry an LV murse.
or wear khaki after the world series is over.
kids today, i’ll tell you
not entirely comfortable that this is a commercial for red bull
but i guess its a more interesting commercial than half the crap we normally are subjected to.
and at least it reinforces that strange truth that some dudes will wear the dumbest clothes to get close to super skinny girls.
the irony of it happening in a grocery store where none of the famished buy any food is just a bonus
and wouldnt you know it, your girl casie stewart was there and has this report
Let it be known that Bebe Rexha of Pete Wentz’s new band The Black Cards may look great in that head dress dealie
but your girl ali not only rocked it earlier this month
but even had the super exclusive rare white one back in december
glad thats cleared up
top photo by bree