nothing in here is true

  1. Saturday, March 22, 2014

    did you know theres valet at the baskin robbins in silver lake 


    nothing in here is true. thats how rumors get started. this is sass rocking the napcore stylz.

    she asked to see what i was doing for brunch and i realized that the reason canadians love brunch so much

    is because theres an unnecessary u in there.

    we sat inbetween a bunch of people on the patio who thought it was cute to bring their little dogs along.

    im sorry but i love dogs however the last time i checked this wasnt paris.

    i dont see kanye up in this piece, leave yr dogs at home.

    all they get to do is walk around under your table, smell, and wish they were back home


    sass gave me a sticker and i realized i probably need stickers for a variety of reasons besides the fact that ppl should have stickers

    this guy has a great sticker. whoever he is. i want stickers of all my friends. id stick a todd francis over here

    a ben sullivan over there. a couple jeanine natalies under there.

    it could be a thing. faces of people all everywhere.

    that would give the under table dogs something to look at.


    had the Devil’s Mess: three scrambled eggs with turkey sausage.

    because its silver lake not only was everything organic and local, but it was so sustainable that

    you only got to eat them right after they gave birth to their replacements.

    the egg yolks came from discarded mcdonald yolks from their egg white mcmuffins.

    next time i need to remember to ask for no onions because it was fantastic.

    sass invited me to go to kung fu with her but im a pacifist.

  2. Saturday, March 15, 2014
  3. Tuesday, December 10, 2013
  4. Thursday, November 21, 2013
  5. Wednesday, November 20, 2013
  6. Tuesday, June 25, 2013

    i know people are scared out there 

    storm trooperssome dont want to be like their parents
    or make the same mistakes as their parents
    so they do things they know arent right

    some totally wanna be like their parents
    and have all the things their parents had
    so they do things they dont know are wrong

    sometimes i feel like i should wait until the very last day im on the earth
    before i have a kid
    that way i wont poison the mind of that little blank slate
    but thats probably not the right thing to do either

    there is no right thing to do
    but man oh man are there a bunch of wrong things to do.
    trust me, i’ve doed them.

    but the one thing you cannot do thats wrong
    is think about what in your heart you love to do
    and do that.

    even if its evil.

    oh wait, ok dont do evil
    even if its what you love to do.
    write about evil in books
    save beautiful loving creative courageous things for real life.

    i know its scary.

    but youre gonna be scurred anyways.

    may as well have something your kids can look back later and say

    wow, mom and dad sure didnt give one damn about anything
    they just went for it
    and holy guacamole did they rock.

    in heaven i hope to eat some of that holy guacamole.

  7. Wednesday, May 8, 2013

    1908 is the most important year ever for Cubs fans 

    The French Dip: a tale from Los Angeles from Joris Debeij on Vimeo.

    as it was the last time they won the World Series.

    it was also the time LA invented the French Dip sandwich.

    the debate here is who invented it, Philippe’s or Coles.

    I always thought it was Philippe’s but after seeing this video I’m leaning to Coles.

    I will say this though, I like Cole’s better, and it’s a more romantico locale

    But Philippe’s is perfect right before or after a Dodger day game.

  8. Friday, April 26, 2013
  9. Monday, April 8, 2013
  10. Saturday, April 6, 2013

    xbi said we need you to go to american apparel hq 


    i was all, no can do im on vacation.

    they said how can you be on vacation if you’re not working for them and not working for us?

    i said, i believe you just defined vacation to the t.

    they were all, then this is perfect because you dont have to do anything. just take her out to dinner, maybe a drink afterwards.

    let me tell you something about “dont have to do anything”, i told the xbi. im on a personal investigation as to the limits and mystical side effects and benefits of doing Nothing, and arranging a time with a stranger, and a place, and things to do or not do, all go against the basic principles of Nothing. once again you seem to have issues with the definitions of words.

    then they said something about no strings attached which made me hang up the phone because with them theres always strings attached in some way.


    because Nothingness leads to Everythingness her name was Ana she was from Montreal and we ate poutine in Westwood that night. she was the first to spot the canadian and quebecois flags.


    because i’m a dorky ugly american i had a Canadian, and because she’s classy she had white wine


    the poutine, it was amazing. we had shaved duck, creamy beef, and traditional. the curds were imported from Wisconsin because for some reason Californian dairies don’t produce cheese curds. Say what?


    the owner of the place, Soleil, is from Montreal and made half of his bistro dedicated to poutine. we of course mistakenly sat on the fancy wrong side and when we didn’t see one mention of poutine on the menu he politely walked us over to the correct side and we were amazed by the poutine menu and the fact that you could order a threesome of poutines ($19) of any flavor they had. my fave was the shaved duck.


    afterwards we drove down sunset blvd and she said lets complete the french theme and have a drink at the chateau marmount. i said id never been there. she said but youve lived here longer than ive been alive. i said i know! she said why? i said i dont know, maybe cuz parking is so bad.


    so we drank Chimay (moi) wine (la) and now i have two new favorite haunts.