The French Dip: a tale from Los Angeles from Joris Debeij on Vimeo.
as it was the last time they won the World Series.
it was also the time LA invented the French Dip sandwich.
the debate here is who invented it, Philippe’s or Coles.
I always thought it was Philippe’s but after seeing this video I’m leaning to Coles.
I will say this though, I like Cole’s better, and it’s a more romantico locale
But Philippe’s is perfect right before or after a Dodger day game.
ive had some interesting (and not so interesting) job leads this spring
thankfully no one has offered me to be their food taster.
im picky as it is, so if i was Hitler’ food taster, like this 95 year old lady was,
and they put a salad in front of me, they would have shot me
cuz no way would i have eaten hitlers salad.
i was all, no can do im on vacation.
they said how can you be on vacation if you’re not working for them and not working for us?
i said, i believe you just defined vacation to the t.
they were all, then this is perfect because you dont have to do anything. just take her out to dinner, maybe a drink afterwards.
let me tell you something about “dont have to do anything”, i told the xbi. im on a personal investigation as to the limits and mystical side effects and benefits of doing Nothing, and arranging a time with a stranger, and a place, and things to do or not do, all go against the basic principles of Nothing. once again you seem to have issues with the definitions of words.
then they said something about no strings attached which made me hang up the phone because with them theres always strings attached in some way.
because Nothingness leads to Everythingness her name was Ana she was from Montreal and we ate poutine in Westwood that night. she was the first to spot the canadian and quebecois flags.
because i’m a dorky ugly american i had a Canadian, and because she’s classy she had white wine
the poutine, it was amazing. we had shaved duck, creamy beef, and traditional. the curds were imported from Wisconsin because for some reason Californian dairies don’t produce cheese curds. Say what?
the owner of the place, Soleil, is from Montreal and made half of his bistro dedicated to poutine. we of course mistakenly sat on the fancy wrong side and when we didn’t see one mention of poutine on the menu he politely walked us over to the correct side and we were amazed by the poutine menu and the fact that you could order a threesome of poutines ($19) of any flavor they had. my fave was the shaved duck.
afterwards we drove down sunset blvd and she said lets complete the french theme and have a drink at the chateau marmount. i said id never been there. she said but youve lived here longer than ive been alive. i said i know! she said why? i said i dont know, maybe cuz parking is so bad.
so we drank Chimay (moi) wine (la) and now i have two new favorite haunts.
move the car cuz it’s street cleaning
eat a banana
put on a clean flannel
walk down to the subway
ride it to the end of the line
and see what’s going on.
it’s good to have plans.
for in this case had I not had a set plan
my day would have begun and ended
at the lobsta truck.
im fat so im eating carrots. went to trader joes last week and i gotta tell you thats not my spot. but all the smart people i know go there and lo and behold there was some crap there that i didnt mind eating. and it wasnt expensive.
there was a bag of baby carrots. i love carrots if theyre cooked. but i have ADD when it comes to cooking. no patience. the first time i bought a bag of baby carrots, two months ago, i tried to eat them raw. no luck. tried to dip em in guacamole, hummus– it just tasted like dirty rubber in my mouth and i spit it out after a half hour.
that bag of pretty orange baby carrots turned ashy and i tossed them.
while paying for the new bag of carrots from trader joes the guy behind me said, “WERE THOSE THE LAST BAG OF CARROTS THAT WERE ON SALE?”
hell if i know buddy.
so this bag i didnt wanna throw out, mainly cuz that guy wanted them so bad. so i put 7 or 8 carrots in a paper bowl with a little water in it. just a little.
then i microwaved it with plastic wrap over the bowl. and it steamed those puppies and finally i could eat them.
yesterday i had some cheese puffs in a paper bowl. i was playing NBA Jam on the xbox.
during the timeouts i would just shove the bowl to my face so as not to get the “cheese” powder on my fingers and gum up my precious joystick.
and out of the corner of my eye those cheese puffs looked exactly like baby carrots.
and i felt guilty for about 5 seconds.
then got heartburn a few hours later
i know we’re all gonna die, even me.
i just dont wanna die with cheese puff powder on my nose and lips
like a common junkie.
i want there to be carrots next to me so my fans will think im not dead
i just moved to france or something.
love rice.
i dont care if it makes me fat.
one day im gonna be flying up to heaven and sitting next to me will be some dude from another galaxy and he’ll say oh so where are you from
and i’ll say Earth
and he’ll be all, omg the planet that had rice!?
and i’ll go, yep.
and he’ll be all so how do you make it?
and right now i’ll say i go to Zankou and pay FIVE DOLLARS for a large box to go.
when i make myself healthy dishes i open a can of peas, put it in a paper bowl and nuke it on high for two minutes.
then i nuke the zankou rice for one minute and combine bowls.
ive been pretty healthy this last month cuz its cheaper.
my favorite taco joint sells chicken. bbq’ed but not “barbecued”
they dont put bbq sauce on it.
they’re from mexico.
sometimes they give me extra rice and i tip them a dollar.
the other day a pretty girl who hadnt said she loved me in maybe a year, accidentally said it and i laughed to myself inside.
and popped open a coke, which isn’t healthy, but on that flight up to heaven you gotta be ready
if Earth is the only place that has pop.
It tells you when you should eat it
It’s peel turns into gasoline in a few hours
And when you put it in your pocket everyone around you smiles
I know I’ve achieved zen in my kitchen
When the ripeness of my bananas
Equals the proper amount that I will consume before the green ones arrive
Cherish even the tiniest victories
the magic of Cake Pops
and he says that like many things, the nation’s proclivity to ripping things off
NOW INCLUDES THE MCRIB!
“If you come to Hong Kong looking for a McRib, you won’t find it. But you will find a Prosperity Burger (with curly fries),” Bob, my friend since kindergarten, wrote.
when asked if he tried it, the owner of Memoroboblia said that he was about to get one until he got distracted with the Quarterkilogrammer with cheese.
developing…