nothing in here is true

  1. Friday, September 12, 2014
  2. Monday, June 9, 2014

    xbi has a time machine they dont tell anyone about 


    some agents are actually from the future which is why they can predict it so well.

    the only problem with time travel, so ive heard,

    is you have to make sure not to affect real change in the future

    my trick, i mean their trick is to give advice

    since no one ever takes advice

    you’ll never have to worry about screwing nothing up.

    last night sass and i ate noodles and she told me an amazing story about

    a psycho young woman from europe who doesnt even exist.

    i was eating a fried catfish.

    crazy can text and email and all these other things but shes probably total fiction.

    when i asked the waiter if the catfish was whole or cut he said


  3. Saturday, March 22, 2014

    did you know theres valet at the baskin robbins in silver lake 


    nothing in here is true. thats how rumors get started. this is sass rocking the napcore stylz.

    she asked to see what i was doing for brunch and i realized that the reason canadians love brunch so much

    is because theres an unnecessary u in there.

    we sat inbetween a bunch of people on the patio who thought it was cute to bring their little dogs along.

    im sorry but i love dogs however the last time i checked this wasnt paris.

    i dont see kanye up in this piece, leave yr dogs at home.

    all they get to do is walk around under your table, smell, and wish they were back home


    sass gave me a sticker and i realized i probably need stickers for a variety of reasons besides the fact that ppl should have stickers

    this guy has a great sticker. whoever he is. i want stickers of all my friends. id stick a todd francis over here

    a ben sullivan over there. a couple jeanine natalies under there.

    it could be a thing. faces of people all everywhere.

    that would give the under table dogs something to look at.


    had the Devil’s Mess: three scrambled eggs with turkey sausage.

    because its silver lake not only was everything organic and local, but it was so sustainable that

    you only got to eat them right after they gave birth to their replacements.

    the egg yolks came from discarded mcdonald yolks from their egg white mcmuffins.

    next time i need to remember to ask for no onions because it was fantastic.

    sass invited me to go to kung fu with her but im a pacifist.

  4. Saturday, March 15, 2014
  5. Tuesday, December 10, 2013
  6. Thursday, November 21, 2013
  7. Wednesday, November 20, 2013
  8. Tuesday, June 25, 2013

    i know people are scared out there 

    storm trooperssome dont want to be like their parents
    or make the same mistakes as their parents
    so they do things they know arent right

    some totally wanna be like their parents
    and have all the things their parents had
    so they do things they dont know are wrong

    sometimes i feel like i should wait until the very last day im on the earth
    before i have a kid
    that way i wont poison the mind of that little blank slate
    but thats probably not the right thing to do either

    there is no right thing to do
    but man oh man are there a bunch of wrong things to do.
    trust me, i’ve doed them.

    but the one thing you cannot do thats wrong
    is think about what in your heart you love to do
    and do that.

    even if its evil.

    oh wait, ok dont do evil
    even if its what you love to do.
    write about evil in books
    save beautiful loving creative courageous things for real life.

    i know its scary.

    but youre gonna be scurred anyways.

    may as well have something your kids can look back later and say

    wow, mom and dad sure didnt give one damn about anything
    they just went for it
    and holy guacamole did they rock.

    in heaven i hope to eat some of that holy guacamole.

  9. Wednesday, May 8, 2013

    1908 is the most important year ever for Cubs fans 

    The French Dip: a tale from Los Angeles from Joris Debeij on Vimeo.

    as it was the last time they won the World Series.

    it was also the time LA invented the French Dip sandwich.

    the debate here is who invented it, Philippe’s or Coles.

    I always thought it was Philippe’s but after seeing this video I’m leaning to Coles.

    I will say this though, I like Cole’s better, and it’s a more romantico locale

    But Philippe’s is perfect right before or after a Dodger day game.

  10. Friday, April 26, 2013