busblog

nothing in here is true

  1. Saturday, March 3, 2018

    it’s Oscar Saturday, so let’s Ask Tony 

    Oskar asks: what will you be doing this year during the Oscars?

    If you recall, last year I roamed the red carpet, Dolby Theatre and the adjoining Loews Hotel publishing everything cool that I ran into on Snapchat.

    This year I will be doing pretty much the same thing (except with another year of experience under my belt) but on the Academy’s Instagram. Instagram Story to be specific.

    If you aren’t following us already, follow TheAcademy on Instagram and get ready to see all that my All Access pass can provide. I should start the transmission around noonish and end around midnight. God willing.

    What will you see? You will see all the things that you won’t be seeing on TV. So if you want to see it all, tune in to ABC on your TV and have your buddy Tony on your phone or iPad.

    John Smith asks: is it possible to go down to the LA river where they shot the car chase scenes in repo man and grease?

    Yes. But I wouldn’t recommend going down there right now as it has been raining the last few days and that area (just East of DTLA) is flooded and you might screw up your sweet car.

    Tony Kletch asks: Stones or Beatles? 

    I listen to the Stones at least once a week and if a Beatles tune comes on the radio I change it to Ozzy’s Boneyard. With that said, I listen to mostly the Stone’s 70s and 80s era tunes, so maybe my problem is mostly with the British Invasion era 60s stuff. But still, I prefer rock music as compared to pop.

    Mark Johnson asks: Do you support expropriation of land from white farmers to be claimed by the State of South Africa?

    I have the greatest friends. God bless you Mark. I don’t like the expropriation of any thing from any one. HOWEVER I think this is one of those rare moments where you can split the baby. I think instead of taking all the land from the white farmers, only half of it should be taken, and not by the state, but by the native South Afrikans.

    Dougie Gyro asksWill Ohtani be a better hitter or pitcher?

    Hitting MLB pitchers might be the toughest thing in all of sports. However, the Angels want to do this funky 6-man rotation which tells me they aint so confident about his pitching either. I know he’s young. I know he’s Babe Ruth. But I have a feeling they will use him as a SP and DH his first few years but will probably convert him to a long reliever and pinch hitter in years 3-4 when they realize there was only one Babe Ruth and he drank beers with children and ate hot dogs with strippers.

    Michael Katz asks: Is Joe Flacco a elite qb?

    History says nope. And says Jay Cutler should never have been a starter.

    More to come!

  2. Monday, September 25, 2017

    in the days of chimpanzees i was a busblog 

    spent part of the weekend fighting with people on Twitter about why NFL players were kneeling during the National Anthem.

    It’s tough to argue on Twitter for a few reasons:

    1. some people want to remain in the dark

    2. im a verbose SOB thus it’s tough to stick to just 140 letters

    3. i was watching football and forgot that i was arguing with half of the South.

    the biggest problem was these people kept wanting to say that by kneeling during the Anthem, the players are disrespecting the flag.

    as if the flag has feelings. it’s cloth i told them.

    THESE PLAYERS ARE PROTESTING THE FACT THAT COPS MURDER BLACK PEOPLE AND GET AWAY WITH IT. I’d say.

    but they didn’t want to hear it. and it was curious.

    im sorry they arent protesting the way they want people to protest. when Trump tried to impose the racist Muslim ban, people took to the streets. The Trumpsters whined accusing the protesters of being paid. They complained that the traffic was bad now. They bitched that the signs were painting them in a bad light.

    so here you have a protest that doesn’t affect anything. it doesn’t keep the flag from flying. it doesn’t keep the singer from singing. and it doesn’t even affect the game.

    so they bring the military into it: “these selfish millionaire football players are disrespecting all the veterans who fought for this country!”

    as if these Trumpsters care about the military. Aren’t a good chunk of homeless people veterans? Where were these defenders of the troops when W was cutting the VA?

    but more importantly: is a veteran more American than a schoolteacher or a Community Organizer?

    hey man, some of my best friends fought in wars. but members of the military are just Part of America. firefighters, nurses, farmers, fruit pickers, union bosses, seamstresses, and even your neighborhood blogger are all important parts of our society and we are all Americans who, when we are at our best, contribute to what makes the USA the second-greatest country in this continent.

    hi baby.

    long live every man woman and drone who defends this country and all the things we stand for but at what point is someone going to say, please stop using veterans as pawns for your bullshit argument?

    the actual issue at hand is kids, teens, adults and even women have been straight up murdered by police and those cops paid no price even when they said

    I DON’T KNOW WHY I SHOT THAT BLACK MAN WHO HAD HIS HANDS UP.

    Yes. Yes you do. You know damn well why you do. And until we get that unsubstantiated fear out of the minds of our police force we are going to continue to have innocent dead black folks and athletes kneeling in protest.

    but we can’t get there until we knock off this fucking shit about the flag or the military or the “country”.

    until the flag murders a kid holding a toy gun, no one has any problem with the flag.

    until the military says “i’m gonna kill this MFer”, kills a citizen, plants a gun on him and gets away with it, no one has a problem with the military.

    athletes are kneeling because it is working. it is getting the word out there that police brutality and murder will not be tolerated.

    the President of the United States wants to pretend that this is not about race or cops or anything other than the flag.

    which is why you know it’s not about the freaking flag.

    and now i wish i had learned how to run a Post Route so i could kneel

    with my clenched fist up

    during every anthem my team played on Sundays.

     

  3. Thursday, November 24, 2016

    is the world gonna end? 

    yes.

    is that what Aretha is telling us by singing the Anthem this way this morning?

    yes.

    will it be Trump’s fault?

    no.

    will it be our fault?

    no.

    Putin’s?

    yes.

    ok then. ok.

    ok.

  4. Tuesday, November 22, 2016

    as you know im a bizarre man 

    screen-shot-2016-11-22-at-9-11-18-am

    for years i have enjoyed Fantasy sports, but when i was at the Times, I was introduced to a fantasy game called Losers Football.

    it’s really simple: you pick an NFL team that you think is gonna lose, if they lose that week you make it to the next week but you can’t use that team again.

    the guy who runs it did a very smart thing, he made two leagues that happen simultaneously. the second league starts in Week 5, that way if you lose the first league early (which happens) then you can focus on the second league and continue to enjoy the season.

    even though we started with 169 players, look who has made it to the Final 12.

    this week i have the New York Jets losing to the New England Deflators.

    it’s weird rooting for teams you hate or rooting against your favorite teams, but whatever, if i win I think I get $800.

    Tom Brady better not break his leg early in this game.

  5. Sunday, November 8, 2015
  6. Thursday, September 3, 2015

    today tom brady was released from fake jail 

    giselle

    proving once and for all that some people have all the luck and luck it is

    trust me, if i dumped my pregnant girlfriend for a brazillian supermodel id never hear the end of it

    and if i had my equipment manager illegally deflate my footballs before the AFC championship game

    my mom would yell at me and say

    I KNOW I DIDNT CARRY A FREAKING CHEATER AROUND IN MY BELLY FOR DAMN NEAR A YEAR

    but tom brady can get away with murder because he has a symmetrical face and genes that make him a few inches taller than your average bear

    the bible tells us that we shouldnt fret because even though payback is a b-word it doesnt always happen here in earth

    right next to it is a picture of St. Peter cracking his knuckles

    and St. Paul digging crud out of his finger nails

    and St. Mark practicing his nunchucks

    and St. Shadrach turning up the heat in the firey furnace.

    your time is gonna come, led zeppelin warned

    oh yes they did.

  7. Monday, June 1, 2015

    is there something wrong? 

    pink lakei dont think so.

    if anything i feel like something really good is about to happen.

    theres a fine line between nervousness and excitement, i dont mind feeling either but i think sometimes my outward appearance doesn’t look like i care.

    oh, i care.

    i care maybe a million times more than you think.

    i care so much i might be freaking out a little inside but i know that as long as i can get in the batters box it’ll be ok. it always has been. i can hit. i can connect. let the fans clank whatever they got.

    when i was little my mom let me sign up for pop warner football. i was like 11 or 12. kids! one of the things they told us to do was wash out an old pop can and put some dry beans in there and tape up the hole with duct tape. then they gave us a sheet with all the kids names and jersey numbers and we taped that to the can and painted it blue and white (our colors, we were the colts). then our moms could shake the cans in the stands to cause some excitement.

    if anything it taught us how to block out all the noise and just listen to the voice in your helmet.

    you can do this.

    you got this.

    stick your shoulder in him.

    that doesnt hurt.

    youre not cold.

    he aint that big.

    boom.

  8. Thursday, January 22, 2015

    ballghazigate 

    tumblr_nik5avsmg31s201nro1_400so twice now in the last few years the new england patriots have been caught cheating

    this time they were caught during the AFC Championship game

    now a real commissioner would rule that the Patriots, who are on probation, have forfeited their right to play in the Super Bowl

    or a soft commissioner would rule that the Patriots should have two people banned from the Super Bowl

    namely the coach, who is a huge liar, and obvs knows when 11 of 12 balls are being fucked with

    and the QB who is also a huge liar and obvs knows when the centerpiece of his professional life

    the football in his hands

    is 16% lighter and squeezier than normal balls.

    but we dont live in that world. we live in a world where the NFL commissioner wants to keep his $44 million salary

    and he doesnt want to scare his bosses, the NFL owners, into thinking that he would ever do anything that dramatic to them

    if he ever caught them with their hands in the cookie jar.

    so he will do the least courageous thing possible: he will fine the team a few hundred grand

    and make them lose another draft pick.

    just like last time

    just like any time.

    why? because his balls are deflated too.

  9. Saturday, August 23, 2014

    hate is a strong word 

    packers

    especially while wearing a Sweetness jersey.

    im very excited for the beginning of the NFL season but i dont hate anyone.

    i hate MLB for keeping Pete Rose out of the baseball Hall of Fame

    i hate that Obama thinks its ok to spy on Americans and lie about it.

    i hate that Uber doesn’t seem to care about its drivers.

    i hate that time flies so quickly and i havent done half the things i wanna do yet.

    i hate how cute my kittens are because it makes it hard to give them away.

    other than that i pretty much love everything.

    like you.

  10. Wednesday, January 22, 2014