today is Foxxy’s birthday, shes 24

foxxy and JaG

back when everyone and their mother had a blog, Foxxy (pictured, left) had one that i loved.

she musta loved mine too because she borrowed my disclaimer of “nothing in here is true”.

the first time i ever met her was the last time i ever met her, im pretty sure, although now im not so sure.

i think we all gathered at Keira-Anne’s bachelor apartment and walked along Lake Vancouver and then watched all the fireworks off the barge.

and drank. omg. and drank.

i said, Foxxy you’re even prettier in real life than i ever imagined, how about lets keep drinking after all these fireworks?

she said, and do what?

i said, do you remember that awesome black girl from Holland, Just A Girl?

she said, yeah.

i said, she’s in town too, and she’s gonna meet me at my hotel at midnight and im gonna show her my new breakdance moves.

Foxxy was all, Just a Girl is really gonna be at your hotel at midnight? You? Dumbass busblog?

I said, yeah!

Foxxy said, fine but if we are there any later than 12:01 and theres no JustAGirl then i’m out.

and as you can see from this photo they were amazed by my dance moves.

one of my all time favorite bloggers is back

! ms foxxy slostsanity has returned to the air

the year was 2007. something had changed in the snowflakery world of vancougar bc. while everyone was truly embracing blogging, the girl with the lovely hair and distinctive glasses was fed up with it all.

boys were being dumb, terrible things were happening at work, and the mighty ducks of anaheim had just won lord stanley’s cup.

the world was so upside down that even these pearls couldnt slow the inevitable.

but as ringo said so eloquently “time takes time”

and now you have yr foxxy back.

dear foxxy


soslotsy. i hear youre sad. i see youre depressed. i feel your painties.

we have all known sorrow and depression and misery and failure. watch how those words so easily spill from this drunken keyboard of blackness.

a long time ago i decided that the easiest form of writing is the woe is me. the tragedy, the sad gloomy poem.

it wasnt that i didnt feel those feelings, or still feel those feelings now, indeed my heart is so broken and dark and riddled with loneliness and pain that if you could take an xray, all there would be would be a message thatd say omg fubar 404.

but i bury it. i sweep it under the carpet. and i keep moving. its the only way. like in the movies when the dude is dying and the other dude goes DONT FALL ASLEEP ON ME MURPHY! DONT YOU DARE FALL ASLEEP ON ME!

the world is flat. its just eons of people sweeping their problems under the carpet that has turned this place three dimensional.

pretty canadian girls with blogs shouldnt ever be sad. especially because of boys. and rejection is just the devil’s changeup. sure things dont pan out. yes means no. america equals failure. nothing makes sense.

i have a friend who called me up. lovely girl. beautiful. sexy. smart. petite is probably the way youd describe her physique. called me up and said tony im banging this fat guy with the littlest dick. and i love him! i was all, wow. of course.

then she said, but my dilemma is im also banging this little guy with this enormous dick and hes great too.

and see, only a human would consider this a dilemma which is another devils changeup. which is all lost on you because youre canadian and only speak french. so heres what i will say. bonjour jeune fille. como tally vous? je mappale est antoine and i have something in my pocket that could or could not be a banana. but i do amie bananas so the odds are ridiculously large that i very well could have a banana in there. ok fine, i do have a banana in there.

bonjour jeune fille. i have a banana in my pantaloons.

not a dilemma.