i met a nice German girl from Germany yesterday

kneeling santashe isnt Catholic but volunteers at this Catholic save the world place.

she met my man Ben at a soup kitchen.

she looked at me and said, you’re beautiful.

i said, look at my heart.

she did and couldnt control her scowl.

but smiled anyways.

heart of gold.

on the side she helps out with the gangs in South Central.

i said you do what?

she has a delightful German accent because she spends most of her time in Southern Germany near the Swiss border but comes to LA to volunteer whenever she’s saved enough money.

when she’s in Germany she studies Theology and writes letters to gang members in jail.

i was all, what do those jailed dudes write to you?

she was like, everything.

i was all, do they ever get out of control writing to such a pretty girl who lives so so far away.

she said, do you know what they ask me the most for? they ask me to tell their family to write them.

and i gave her all of my money.

are you a pipe?

Magritte's Pipei feel like im a pipe, but around some people im not at all a pipe

and i cannot help it.

i feel like they have wrong me in some way and i dont wanna be a pipe.

i wanna clog that ish. i wanna put off a bad taste.

i wanna say, why are you packing it so full or why do you gotta slobber on it

or bite it.


and if they see how i am with other people they might say, see, he is a pipe. in fact he’s the greatest pipe in this whole damn world. whys he gotta be a big jerk to me and a wonderful pipe to everyone else?!?

and i say let me count the ways.

and i say are you a pipe to me?

are you a wonderfully looking smooth handcrafted made in the USA perfect pipe to me or are you something lesser than?

are you a pipe or are you something that clogs the pipe? are you who you say you are? are you who we hoped youd be or are you just a painting of what we wanted.

me im just a former xbi agent trying to shed all the crud ive picked up along this long strange trip.

but for safety sake, just pretend im not a pipe.

ceci n’est pas une pipe, aussi, magritte.