i coulda been in a lot of places in the end of the ’80s

i could have gone to UCLA, i coulda gone anywhere.

i could have gone to UCSB quicker but i woulda missed being in the dorms with the people who are still my friends to this day.

i dont wanna believe that God futzes with the gameplan.

i want to believe in Free Will

but it’s so hard for me to believe that i just luckily had to spend an extra year in junior college.

because that was the luckiest thing that ever happened to me.

what happened there was a domino effect to every cool person i would end up meeting for decades.

including meeting you.

found myself in a sauna tonight

i felt like i was catching a cold or a flu and someone said go take a shvitz

so i did!

and while i was there, bored to death, cuz i was alone, without a phone, nothing to read,

i started praying.

God please bless mom and angie and her kids and amber and the cubs and and and and

soon that was over so i just watched the sweat happen.

and to be honest with you, recently i have had a little challenge to my religious beliefs

but there in the sauna i started thinking about sweating and how incredible it is

almost by magic the body says, whoops, that fool is overheating,

hey water that’s inside the body, lets get some of you to the surface of the body

so it will cool it off.

i mean, how genius is that?

its impossible for me to believe that there was a gaseous explosion somewhere in space

and all of a sudden there were humans WITH SWEAT GLANDS just incase we start overheating.

not only was that created by a higher intelligence, but by a super intelligent being

the engineering of the body is, to me, the biggest tell of a divine creator.

then i took a long long shower, shaved, came back to amber and told her God exists

and she said oh cool.

this is a real place on a real day now, here

you are a real person, living in this real place, and just as beautiful.

your mom carried you around in her belly, she fed you before you were born.

she took care of you after and after and after and after

all the wise men traveled to see you, the cows mooed and the donkeys said hi

above the angels cooed, the stars twinkled and the clouds parted so we could all see better

not because you were capable of magic

but because you just being here, all by itself is a reflection of the best magic of all

the miracle of life.

when your jeans rip or you slip on ice or lose your phone on a snowy day

it’s ok

because those wise men are still bearing gifts, the angels are still in awe

and the good Lord is still bragging, quietly to himself, saying

look what I made.

and smiling.

Best thing I’ve read on tumblr.


Professor :You are a Christian, aren’t you, son?
Student :Yes, sir.
Professor:So, you believe in GOD?
Student :Absolutely, sir.
Professor :Is GOD good?
Student :Sure.
Professor:Is GOD all powerful?
Student :Yes.
Professor:My brother died of cancer even though he prayed to GOD to heal him. Most of us would attempt to help others who are ill. But GOD didn’t. How is this GOD good then? Hmm?

(Student was silent.)

Professor:You can’t answer, can you ? Let’s start again, young fella. Is GOD good?
Student :Yes.
Professor:Is satan good?
Student :No.
Professor:Where does satan come from?
Student :From … GOD …
Professor:That’s right. Tell me son, is there evil in this world?
Student :Yes.
Professor:Evil is everywhere, isn’t it ? And GOD did make everything. Correct?
Student :Yes
Professor:So who created evil ?

(Student did not answer.)

Professor:Is there sickness? Immorality? Hatred? Ugliness? All these terrible things exist in the world, don’t they?
Student :Yes, sir.
Professor:So, who created them ?

(Student had no answer.)

Professor:Science says you have 5 Senses you use to identify and observe the world around you. Tell me, son, have you ever seen GOD?
Student :No, sir.
Professor:Tell us if you have ever heard your GOD?
Student :No , sir.
Professor:Have you ever felt your GOD, tasted your GOD, smell your GOD? Have you ever had any sensory perception of GOD for that matter?
Student :No, sir. I’m afraid I haven’t.
Professor:Yet you still believe in Him?
Student :Yes.
Professor :According to Empirical, Testable, Demonstrable Protocol, Science says your GOD doesn’t exist. What do you say to that, son?
Student :Nothing. I only have my faith.
Professor:Yes, faith. And that is the problem Science has.

madonna and katy perry

Student :Professor, is there such a thing as heat?
Student :And is there such a thing as cold?
Student :No, sir. There isn’t.

(The lecture theatre became very quiet with this turn of events.)

Student :Sir, you can have lots of heat, even more heat, superheat, mega heat, white heat, a little heat or no heat. But we don’t have anything called cold. We can hit 458 degrees below zero which is no heat, but we can’t go any further after that. There is no such thing as cold. Cold is only a word we use to describe the absence of heat. We cannot measure cold. Heat is energy. Cold is not the opposite of heat, sir, just the absence of it.

(There was pin-drop silence in the lecture theater.)

Student :What about darkness, Professor? Is there such a thing as darkness?
Professor:Yes. What is night if there isn’t darkness?
Student :You’re wrong again, sir. Darkness is the absence of something. You can have low light, normal light, bright light, flashing light. But if you have no light constantly, you have nothing and its called darkness, isn’t it? In reality, darkness isn’t. If it is, were you would be able to make darkness darker, wouldn’t you?
Professor:So what is the point you are making, young man?
Student :Sir, my point is your philosophical premise is flawed.
Professor:Flawed ? Can you explain how?
Student :Sir, you are working on the premise of duality. You argue there is life and then there is death, a good GOD and a bad GOD. You are viewing the concept of GOD as something finite, something we can measure. Sir, Science can’t even explain a thought. It uses electricity and magnetism, but has never seen, much less fully understood either one. To view death as the opposite of life is to be ignorant of the fact that death cannot exist as a substantive thing. Death is not the opposite of life: just the absence of it. Now tell me, Professor, do you teach your students that they evolved from a monkey?
Professor:If you are referring to the natural evolutionary process, yes, of course, I do.
Student :Have you ever observed evolution with your own eyes, sir?

(The Professor shook his head with a smile, beginning to realize where the argument was going.)

Student :Since no one has ever observed the process of evolution at work and cannot even prove that this process is an on-going endeavor. Are you not teaching your opinion, sir? Are you not a scientist but a preacher?

(The class was in uproar.)

Student :Is there anyone in the class who has ever seen the Professor’s brain?

(The class broke out into laughter.)

Student :Is there anyone here who has ever heard the Professor’s brain, felt it, touched or smelt it? No one appears to have done so. So, according to the established Rules of Empirical, Stable, Demonstrable Protocol, Science says that you have no brain, sir. With all due respect, sir, how do we then trust your lectures, sir?

(The room was silent. The Professor stared at the student, his face unfathomable.)

Professor:I guess you’ll have to take them on faith, son.
Student :That is it sir… Exactly ! The link between man and GOD is FAITH. That is all that keeps things alive and moving.

That student was Madonna

etienne update: light some candles

etienne and uva the word from the angels above are they are getting some of your prayers

but they havent gotten all of them.

etienne is sicker than when we first posted that shes sick,

now it appears perhaps the root of the evil is in her bladder.

which is odd because she doesnt drink that much. and all she eats are tomatoes and onions.

and occasionally poutine, when shes in canada.

her bladder should be pristine: like your soul.

so do Canada a favor on Canada Day and say a quick little prayer for Uva’s momma

something along the lines of: please get that terrible mysterious illness out of Etienne’s body so she can go back to writing screenplays and reporting for Canadas finest news agency.

shes a very good girl and we are all better when shes better.


its friday, which means ask tony. today’s comes from steve

nothing beats a good spit

who asks,

a taxi was turning on a yellow, and a person goes running across the street without looking and the taxi swerved not to hit the person and almost crashed into a bank and for 5 years there has been a man with one leg begging in front of the bank and the taxi stopped maybe 2 feet DIRECTLY IN FRONT of the guy with one leg.

close call.

did god intervene? is that what he does?

or does he just concentrate on making the delicious cuban food i just ate for lunch?

please tell.

great question!

even though there is Divine Intervention, the Lord prefers Free Will.

He doesnt care if we live 1 year or .5 years or 105 years – theres so many of us, and life on Earth is so fleeting, He really sees all of this as a blink in His eye anyways in the grand scheme of things, so no He’s not running around stopping busses from hitting homeless beggars.

however the Angels do like to meddle. the best parts of the Old Testament are all the ways the angels act as go-betweens between God and Man.

the problem is Man was basically meh to not just the angels, but also when God walked with us.

so eventually even the angels mellowed out on intervening with us.

my guess is the angels didn’t stop the bus.

my guess is the beggar is an angel.

dun dun dunnnnnnnnnnnnn.

tinted windows dont mean nothin they know who’s inside


omg was that a crazy day or what. so many ups n downs.

a few super low lows and a quite a few really high highs.

as as libra they say that we just want the smooth mellow middles

but i gotta say sometimes – ESPECIALLY WHEN IT ENDS NICE – its ok to have highs n lows.

lets talk about the highs: all of them: they were so sweet

people are so sweet to me. i forget that that is bound to happen sometimes, but is is somehow!

also, i got to meet, talk with, and then live tweet skateboard hero Christian Hosoi

who was Tony Hawks biggest rival for a while, and beat him, and all was well

even all the drug taking and boozing, etc, until he got caught up in Crystal Meth.

and then he got popped at the airport with drugs and did time in prison. years!

but right away he got it about the bible. like super got it. like omg got it.

we talked about Romans for a quick minute, which was odd cuz i just finished it.

and i said, dude Romans ruled and you should relate cuz Paul (the narrator of Romans) was in jail too.

Christian Hosoi didnt even blink, he was all hell yeah .

im gonna go to Christian’s church on Sunday. im sold. dude was so inspirational.

he just kept going last night as if he was filled with the holy ghost just that day!

it was a wonder. everything he said just flowed out and it was awesome.

no stuttering, no forgetting of words, no ums or omgs nothing but pure focused laser power.

it was hard to keep up.

afterwards i went to sushi with karisa and we kept it real with each other

which isnt something we always do, but we gave each other permission to bring it and it was broughten

and it was nice. it resolved perfectly. we both got to say some tough things

and in the end everything worked out exactly how it should and it was nice nice nice.

im still the luckiest man alive. somehow. oddly. weirdly. unpredictably.

and so gratefully.