the world is hotter than ever, it’s on fire

and on the east coast it’s about to get walloped with rain and flooding

meanwhile here in the west we are trying to ignoring a terrible drought.

in the middle east all hells breaking loose

and here in the land of the free people are doing their best to stay ignorant about this covid thing

on top of that things are more expensive than ever

buying a house in california is damn near impossible for an honest man

and the list can go on and on and on

it makes me a little bit happy about not bringing children into this world because wtf

they dont deserve this

and how are they supposed to fix it

but this is how crazy i am

if the right woman said omg tony pierce

in the right way

for the right amount of time

id do the not right thing

and poor little babyblog would be born

into this toilet earth

which is why i really hope God is up there

and i hope we are truly forgiven

gwar isnt supposed to die

theyre from prehistoric times.

they live in antartica.

your singer isnt supposed to die at 50 years old.

one minute youre at the AV Club covering Kansas

next minute youre being talked about as if youre dead.

because youre dead.

one of the best rock memories i have is going to see gwar with several of my friends

including the fresh faced redhead isla vista sweetheart kelly green

she knew what was up, so she wore a plain white tshirt to the show

and afterwards we were all sitting around a big round table in

the dennys in sherman oaks and all american kelly had blood all in her hair

splattered on her shirt

and smeared across her freckled face.

i bet gwar is now in heaven, just so God can make people wonder if theyre really in heaven

when you have to set your alarm to wake up at 1:30pm, you probably shouldnt do this

chicago riot fest

im unemployed.

my possibilities look slim.

people say they want me. but they dont want me want me.

they want the idea of me.

and to be honest im pretty sure i feel the same exact way.

xbi poisoned me pretty good the other day. they had a russian agent straddle me and gave me something to eat.

strangely this wasnt the first time i had found myself in this situation, so i just went for it, cuz they were gonna put it in something else anyways.

drank water all night, watched the sun rise, played dj as they poisoned themselves on my dare.

penthouse, west hollywood, perfect air, perfect sky. afterwards they said why arent you afraid to die.

i said cuz after you die, you go to heaven and the replacements are playing and gwar

and motorhead, and rancid, and blink and dinosaur, and blondie for some reason and x

and a few days before that the cubs are playing a day game and the next day the bears kick off their season.

they said but you dont have a job.

and i said my job is being the dj for this death slide. here comes some lana del rey.

and they laid back in the outdoor leather couch and said


Gwar + Memorial Day + The Clash

A message from Gwar:

The members of the Slave Pit want to wish a peaceful Memorial Day to all who have given their all in the service of the armed forces of the world. You have our eternal respect and appreciation.

“From the Hundred Years War to the Crimea…
From the lance to the musket to the Roman spear
To all of the men (and women) who have stood with no fear
In the service of the king…”

The Clash, “The Card Cheat”, from the album London Calling

May peace reign, leave the war to GWAR…Happy Memorial Day!

cleaning up one year

so we can start the new one fresh n smoove: November 2010

los angeles, nov 1
november turned into the hottest month of the summer

downtown los angeles, nov 8
to take a full step away from this failed season, i bought a new cubs hat

los feliz, nov 8
when my favorite bank quadrupled their amount of atms i was all why?
turned out the bank knew what the heck it was doing.

little tokyo, nov 11
had a nice bowl of pork bone ramen with sarah at mr ramen

la times, nov 12
got to interview the most successful producer in all of talk radio

east la, nov 14
bought the car of someones dreams

house of blues, sunset strip, nov 15
somehow gwar was boring

la convention center, nov 16
went to the la auto show. going to an auto show 2 days after buying a new car
is like going to a strip club two days after your wedding.

pasadena, nov 23
got a physical: my cholesterol is fine, but i was still told to join a gym. death panel, please.

la times, nov 24
this is the side of a famous movie star’s trailer which is a converted school bus
i saw him walking down the street with his entourage with a smile from ear to ear

hollywood, nov 25
ali took me to see a band play, in a strip club

wessside, nov 26
karisa hosted a delicious thanksgiving

gibson amphitheatre, nov 27
weezer played pinkerton all the way through

gwar is one of my favorite bands of all

seeing them live is like fully experiencing what heavy metal was meant to evolve into.

problem is gwar’s music is uninspired, bland, predictable, and soulless.

their best moments on cd are when theyre lifting the lines from other bands, particularly N.W.A

meanwhile their best moments live are when they’re chopping the heads off of fantastically grotesque creatures who then spurt endless streams of “blood” into the adoring mosh pit below.

but the music is terrible and its only getting worse.

what needs to be done is a rock n roll intervention.

if the top 20 metal bands and hard rock groups wrote one song for Gwar – a good song – they could go tour for the next thousand years and not bore audiences (which seems impossible, but its true).

Kansas, REO Speedwagon, Styx, soooo many bands tour off 3-4 songs. If Gwar had 10 seriously good ones heavy metal would be saved.

And blood would flow forever.

But last night at the house of blues we left early after an hour of the same old same old.

Such a shame.

i have seen the blissful conclusion of rock n roll

and its name is monotonix

an eon ago John Landau said he saw the future of rock n roll, and it was Bruce Springsteen.

its time to meet the new boss, same as the old boss in that the live show was frenzied and thrilling and uplifting and glorious

biggest difference between Bruce and Monotonix is after the sweaty freaky wild concert i have zero recollection of one word the singer, 40something year old, Ami Shalev said.

doesnt matter. he looks like a sweaty unfrozen caveman wearing nothing more than (un)tidy whities and sneakers and whatever he belted out from beneath his grizzled face was delivered from a higher place where words take a back seat to magic. and feeling is everything.

equal parts Gogol Bordello, Iggy Pop, Gwar, the comic strip BC, and the video game Gauntlet, at times all of this seems like a dream come true in the middle of a nightmare

straight outta Tel Aviv, the shirtless and equally hairy guitarist Yonatan Gat and drummer Haggai Fershtman kicked out the jams as Shalev scurried around Spaceland in Silver Lake terrorizing patrons with snot rockets, stealing their PBR tallboys, spraying the suds everywhere while literally climbing the walls of the former strip club sending all those in attendance for cover at times for fear of being Pabst-ized – or worse.

i knew things were going to be different when i saw the marshall half stacks being set up on the stage. no not in the back but on the front. the drums were pieced together in front of the stage and i asked for ear plugs from the bartender who handed them over with a smile.

smiles abounded as the trio ripped through their first number WHO CARES WHAT IT WAS CALLED as the diminutive singer ran around like a crazyperson in search for a garbage can which he promptly dumped on his drummer’s fuzzy head.

Fershtman just kept playing away until a fan took the plastic container off of the drummer and another fan placed it on his own head.

hello rock n roll, where the hell have you been all my life?

next thing you know the singer has stolen the snare from his drummer. like a Marx Brothers skit the drummer chases after him. the guitar blares the people are clapping the singer is shouting and finally places the snare next to the dividing wall. the bass drum arrives, cymbals make their way and the shirtless guitarist keeps the music coming and there we have the singer climbing the divider like a monkey.

followed by the guitarist. camera flashes everywhere. now the singer is using the curtains as a wig. now the beer is being kicked. now the smiles are everywhere.

now do you see why the Beatles bore me?

then the singer jumps into the crowd. then the singer jumps on the back of the drummer and hangs there. then the snare is moved to the back of the club. now the singer stands precariously on the tiny cocktail table. the crowd moves along with him. all eyes are on the commotion. no one knows what they are experiencing BUT IT IS ROCK MUSIC

this is not a joke band this is what God envisioned when he accepted Robert Johnson’s soul at the crossroads and inspired les paul to create the electric guitar.

this is why the terrorists love us. this is why you’re fat.

because you arent scurrying around a rock club being lifted up by eager fans who are now holding the drummer’s throne so that the singer can beat on a drum also being hoisted up by fans.

i thought arcade fire were amazing the night before BUT AS USUAL I AM SORELY MISTAKEN!

mayhem begat mayhem as fans began pouring beer on the band and strewn drum sticks found their way between your hero’s legs by a naughty female sitting on the stage.

the stage by the way filled with fans as that was the safest place in the club.

the fourth wall was tossed away the minute the performance began and how were we to know that there was a fifth and six wall that would be destroyed as well. ADIOS!

oh hai, now he’s using the rigging on the ceiling as a cowbell. give this messiah a grammy stat!

iPhones were constantly in danger of being drenched. and im sure there were a plethora of electronic casualties but WHO THE EFF CARES we were experiencing LIFE

and love and passion and essence of Soul Music.

whoops now the band is on the bar. whoops now the singer has the jar of lime slices. heads up now theyre being strewn at the patrons. as are the coffee stirrers and the straws. and the cocktail napkins. the guitarist is on the bar. is that blood on my shirt? yes! it wants to see the show too!

after the fastest 45 minutes youve ever seen the show is over. but no one wants to leave. life as we know it has been changed. outside is america but america is but a dull shell of itself now. cant we stay forever in awe of these three jewish rock gods? i hug the singer. his sweat heals me. my comrade poses with the singer. her soul is renewed. the amps are still buzzing. WE ARE ALL STILL BUZZING

HERE IT IS a half a day later AND I AM STILL BUZZING.

this is a band that often sets their instruments and clothes on fire but obviously Los Angeles would have none of that but it didnt matter as our hearts were aflame with the sound of music.

and our eyes will never see anything like it again.

ALL HAIL MONOTONIX forever shall they reign.